CHAPTER 26
SIERRA
“Omg, Matty, I think I’m in love with him already,” I exclaimed with a sigh as I watched little Luka’s brow furrow as he smashed the drums with such slow, concentrated moves.
I wasn’t surprised when Matty told me that every Thursday, he drove to Iona to volunteer at our local school because he was that kind of man—too good a man that sometimes doubts led me to fear that he didn’t deserve me. He deserved someone better.
Because what more could I offer other than my silly self?
In respect, he just had too much to give. And he gave it all to me, all the while looking at me like I was his favorite star in the sky.
“I know the feeling,” he whispered softly as his eyes focused on the little man who was taking his time to learn the pattern that Matty taught him.
“You’re a good, good man, aren’t you?” I added lightness to my tone to muster some of the pride, because I was. So fucking proud of him, of the man that he was and it felt like I had no right to be.
He shrugged, a slight flush creeping over his nose.
“Sometimes, I can’t believe it,” I blurted without thinking.
“Believe what?”
“That you’re mine.”
A smile graced his lips. “Better get used to it because it’s not going to change. Forever .”
I shook my head at him, swallowing the nervous tick down my throat as I forced a smile back.
I was falling, I was falling hard for this man. I think I’d already fallen, but I was nervous to tell him. Nervous because I didn’t have any idea how relationships actually work, and I had no clue what the timeline was for these kinds of confessions, and my other fear was, would he say it back?
“Matty.” A soft voice pulled me from my musings. “Did I do good?”
Matty’s eyes softened as he crouched to meet Luka. “Of course, little fella, you were amazing. I think you’re going to outshine me soon.”
“Really?” he asked, wide-eyed.
And before Matty could answer him, I swooped in, lowering myself. “Yes, I’ve never heard anyone play the drums like that before,” I said, ruffling his hair.
Luka’s cheeks pinkened.
Matty had told me his backstory, and all I wanted to do was to kill someone. How could anyone have the heart to hurt this little adorable child?
“Okay, now why don’t we go eat Cheetos and watch movies?”
His nose scrunched. “Lucia says Cheetos are bad for you.”
“Well, let’s not tell Lucia then,” I whispered. “Or this big burly man here. He’s the food police.” I pointed at Matty.
That only made him crack up in laughter, and it made my heart thud. I was pretty lucky to have a family that protected and loved me, and it just hurt to think that wasn’t the case for everyone.
“I’ve never seen him laugh like that before. You just make everything shine, don’t you, Sierra?” Matty’s lips brushed across the edge of my ear, and I shivered.
His eyes darkened, and I licked my lips.
But our moment was soon interrupted by a scurry of kids dashing toward us, all proud to show off their progress to Matty. I’d never thought much about volunteering, but this was going to the top of my list of activities.
“Can I go with you every time you come here? I loved hanging out with the kids.”
“Of course.”
I nodded, my eyes trailing back to the scenery coursing through. We were on our way back home. That word felt so different these days. I’d considered Iona my home forever, but now it was wherever he was.
I couldn’t imagine a day when I didn’t get to wake up and make him his caramel latte or those green apple muffins that brought a happy sigh to his lips.
A day when we wouldn’t cuddle on the couch playing endless games.
Or a day when I wouldn’t find him secretly watching me.
The tournament would end soon, and so would the summer. Would reality finally hit me like a ton of bricks when I moved back to Iona? Could Matty and I survive that?
But that wasn’t the only thing that would come to an end. I’d been so focused on winning the tournament that I hadn’t even thought of a way I would bring it up to my parents.
Just because I showed them a trophy didn’t mean they would understand why I had to do this.
These unfamiliar feelings crashed a load of self-doubt on me. When it came to my gaming, I was anything but doubtful. I was cool, calm, and collected, knowing very well that questioning myself would only make me lose sight of the actual prize.
“What’s going on inside that beautiful mind?”
“Nothing.”
“You’re unusually quiet.”
I shrugged.
“Is it your mother?”
“No,” I mumbled.
For the first time in my life, it actually wasn’t. We’d spent the afternoon with Mom and Dad, and of course, Mom was her usual self, trying to discipline me, but I wasn’t really bothered by it.
This was something else.
It was more of a big girl problem. You know that time of your life when you realized that you were growing up and that your time as a teenager was ending soon? The time when you questioned everything you’d ever done. When I chose to pursue gaming, I did so because it brought me joy, and it was the only thing I was good at. I didn’t think much about anything else.
Now, I wondered if maybe I should’ve studied harder and gotten myself into a decent college.
“Sierra,” Matty started sternly. “You either tell me what’s wrong, or I’m stopping the car and kissing it right out of your mouth.”
My breath hitched, and suddenly, my self-doubt was the least of my problems.
“It’s just that…I think I’m nervous about the game.”
“Nervous?” He frowned. “You never get nervous about your games.”
There he read me like a book already, in just a few short weeks? Tabbing and highlighting all my ticks, all my emotions, and memorizing them inside his brilliant head?
“Sierra.” His narrowed gaze slanted to me when I didn’t say anything.
I sighed. “I was just contemplating whether I made the wrong decision choosing this career.” There, that was one of my worries.
“I don’t think so.”
“What?”
“I don’t think you made the wrong choice. I think gaming was something you were born to do.”
I huffed out an empty laugh. “Most people are born to do great things, Matty, but I don’t think gaming is among them. Look at you, you were born to change people’s lives. That little boy, Luka, would have hated men all his life if it weren’t for you showing that not all men are like the monsters that hurt him. But gaming, what does it do? I sit behind a computer and type a few keys to win something that literally means nothing.”
A sharp inhale left his lips, and a thin line formed over his jaw. In an instant, he swerved the car to a halting stop, and the screech of the tires hitting the gravel sent an ominous note inside the car.
“What are you doin…”
In my next breath, he was right in my face, just barely an inch away. “You don’t get to, you hear me.” His rough fingers grasped my jaw. “No…you’re not allowed to ever think that way. The game you just play is some people’s escape from this shitty world. And you don’t just sit behind a computer and type shit. Any fucking person can do that. You play, Sierra. You play like no other person can. You work strategies in minutes and baffle your opponents with your incredible ability. Don’t fail to see how smart you are, and I won’t let you think otherwise.”
Tears welled in my eyes. “You really believe that?”
His gaze softened as he brushed a soft finger under my eyes. “Yes, firecracker.”
“No one has ever supported me like the way you do.”
“And I’m not going to stop.” His nose touched mine as he pressed a soft kiss on my upper lip. “Now, stop worrying yourself. You’re going to win that tournament and your parents’ approval.”
But would I win your heart?
“Why don’t you take a break?” Matty whispered in my ear, hovering over me from behind.
“I can’t,” I mumbled, my fingers flying over the keyboard. Semis was only two days away and I had to give it my all.
My teammates’ voices cheered just as we won our seventeenth game in a row. But that wouldn’t guarantee anything. Your eighteenth match could be your downfall. You would never know.
“Si,” Kiki groaned through the speakers. “I think that’s enough for today. I’m exhausted, and my wrist is killing me.”
“Ice it,” I said, lobbying in another game. We never practiced the day before the match, so all we had was today to train.
“Si, as much as I’m up for training all night.” Tin’s voice came through. “We’ve been practicing for fifteen hours straight. The team needs their rest. I say we wrap up.”
“As much as I hate him, I think he’s right,” Matty mumbled just for me to hear. Ever since he came back from work, he’d been my constant shadow, watching me game and bringing me snacks. I didn’t even know I needed a support bear till he came along.
“Fine,” I muttered, lifting my fingers off the keyboard. They were all sore and numb at this point.
“See you guys at the match.”
Happy sighs spilled out of my team, and they all logged out in record time, scared that if they lingered, I would bring them in for another game.
“You okay, Si?” Tin was the only one who stayed. “You’re pushing the team harder than usual.”
Things between Tin and me were back to normal, well, as normal as it could be. It felt weird knowing he had feelings for me, and he hadn’t even voiced them yet.
I saw him as a brother, my closest friend, who knew everything about me. But at the end of the day, he was my second, and he and I both knew not to bring anything personal when we played. Which was why we had always worked so well together.
“I’m fine, Tin,” I said softly. “It’s just I’m worried about the game. I’m this close, and I don’t want to lose it. Especially now.”
“I know,” Tin replied. “But Sierra, you’ve told us a million times we can’t think about winning or losing, that it would derail us. Why don’t we just go there and give it our all?”
A smile lifted my lips. “Yes, that sounds good.”
I could feel him smiling at me even though I couldn’t see his face.
Matty took the opportunity to pull my chair closer to him and bury his face in my neck.
“So uhmm.” Tin cleared his throat. “How is everything between you and Matt Evans?”
Matty stiffened, and I knew he was on the verge of announcing his presence, but I also knew he wouldn’t. Even though I was young, Matty never treated me like a teenager. He knew I could hold my own, but he would be my constant shadow of support that would jump in anytime.
“It’s good, actually, more than good. He treats me well. And I like him a lot.” More than like.
That made Matty look up from my neck and place a kiss on my cheek with a smile.
An awkward beat of silence passed when Tin didn’t say anything. “Good, that’s good. You deserve to be treated well, Sierra,” he said.
“Thanks, Tin.”
“I’m sorry about the other day,” Tin blurted. “I shouldn’t have said those things. You didn’t deserve it, and I had no right. Damn, you’re the smartest person I know, and if you think you’re doing what’s right for you, then I respect it.”
“Apology accepted. I love you like a brother, Tin.” I heard him inhale sharply, but as much as the truth hurt, he needed to know that. “You’re very important to me, but Matty’s the one I want.”
“Understood, Si,” Tin replied softly. “I gotta get going now. I’ll see you at the game.”
“See you too, Tin. Good night,” I said just as his name blinked red.
“Hope he gets the message this time,” Matty mumbled, his lips tracing along the curve of my neck all the way to my collarbone, and I had to suppress the shudder that was trying to break out of me.
“He’s just confused,” I muttered through a yawn. “One day, he’ll find someone amazing and forget all about me.”
“Think it’s impossible to forget about you.”
Before I could say another word, another yawn broke out of my lips.
“Tired?” Matty’s gaze softened as he brushed my hair back.
“Hmm.” I nodded, hugging him tight.
In the next instance, he lifted me in his arms effortlessly, like I didn’t weigh a thing. I didn’t even complain as I nuzzled closer to his warmth.
“Do you want to cuddle and sleep?”
“Yes,” I said happily.
Ever since LA, I’d wanted him snuggled with me as I fell asleep. And I didn’t want to sleep any other way for the rest of my life.
“Mind if we go to my room? My bed is bigger.”
I perked up, nodding. I’d never been inside his room before because he was always at mine. Now, my curiosity was piqued. Hmm, what was it like? Did it smell like him?
In a few quick strides, we reached his room. And it was big, very, very big. The same floor-to-ceiling windows covered the far wall, with a huge, dark wood king-size bed dominating the center of the room. A lone black armchair was by the windows, and a table sat at the foot of the bed. Other than that, the room was minimalistic with soft brown walls matching the wooden flooring.
Matty plopped me in the middle of his bed and took my lips in a soft kiss. Just then, my stomach growled loudly.
“You hungry?” He raised a brow.
We did have dinner a while ago, but maybe all this gaming had me hungry for food.
“Maybe for some Cheetos?” I asked sweetly, blinking innocently.
I knew he couldn’t resist because he nodded, padding out of the room. Matty was adamant that I eat healthy if I were to consume massive amounts of Cheetos. But sometimes a girl just wanted her Cheetos.
I’d just settled myself over a mountain of pillows when he came back carrying my favorite Cheetos. “Here you go.” He handed it to me. “And you sleep here.” He rolled me over to the other side of the bed while he situated himself in the position that I vacated, the side closer to the door.
An annoyed sigh left my lips as I peeled my Cheetos open and munched on a few. “I don’t know why you’re always so obsessed with positioning me.”
“Not positioning. I keep you to my right,” Matty stated, holding my gaze as he watched from his side.
My brows furrowed. “To your right?”
“Yes.”
“Why?” Did he have a position fetish or something?
“I’m permanently deaf in my left ear, although I’ve gotten used to it. Sometimes I miss things, and I don’t ever want to miss a word you say, firecracker,” Matty whispered with a small smile as he grazed his thumb along my cheek.
My eyes stung. “You can’t hear?”
“Most things, if I don’t pay much attention.”
I threw my Cheetos away, not hungry anymore. “Why didn’t you say something?” My voice cracked through the wobble in my lips.
He shrugged.
“How did it happen?”
“I was born with it.”
Tears trickled down my cheeks as I jumped into his arms, hugging him tight.
“Don’t cry for me, firecracker,” he whispered, sliding his hand softly over the curve of my back.
“Is it hard?”
“At first, yes. It made me an angry kid. I was slow at school, and everything frustrated me, but Tru gave me my music, and everything became much easier. He changed my life and made me realize there was so much more to life. Sometimes it’s hard to focus when I’m in a crowd or when there are too many people talking, but I’ve gotten good at it.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked, cradling his face.
“Just my family and my friends know. I never just announce it to anyone. I don’t see it as a weakness. It’s just a part of me.”
“You’re an amazing, amazing man, Matty Evans and I thank every God in existence for bringing you to my life,” I said in a sure, sure tone, this time I wasn’t scared to dull the pride in them.
He smiled, and my heart turned to mush. “I think I should be the one doing the thanking, Sierra,” he whispered, kissing me.
Kissing me like he had all the time in the world to keep kissing me.
No work. No people. No outside noise.
Just two people in the world kissing because there was nothing else they’d rather do.