Chapter 6 Selene
SIX
SELENE
Aside from spilling words out into an open blank document on my half-broken laptop, only two other things have the power to bring clarity to my mind: yoga and flowers.
Surrounding myself with flowers on a near daily basis for the past several years has forced me to grow an appreciation for the beauty in them and the way they’re nurtured, blossoming from the love and attention they’re given. It’s the way I used to think about love in real life.
Now, I only reserve that sentiment for love stories typed out on blank word documents.
“These bouquets turned out beautiful, Selene,” my best friend and boss, Charleigh, coos beside me.
I’ve been fussing over a bouquet of orchids for the past twenty minutes—a specialty in Charleigh’s flower shop during the colder months.
Charleigh leans forward and brings her nose toward the vase next to mine before she closes her eyes and breathes in.
I feel the corner of my mouth lifting in awe of my best friend and how she never questions the love she has for her work. Opening her eyes, she fingers the petal of the orchid. I look back at the mess I’ve been attempting to turn in to something beautiful.
“I think you made me fall in love with orchids even more, and I didn’t think that was possible.”
“Thanks, but I didn’t put that one together. Astrid did.” I nod toward the back, where Charleigh’s newest employee disappeared nearly thirty minutes ago.
Charleigh half turns, glancing over her shoulder.
I stare blankly at the white flower in front of me, running my thumb over its velvety petal.
“Everything okay?” Charleigh’s soft voice filters into my thoughts.
I snap my head in her direction, tucking strands of blonde hair behind my ear as I inhale a deep breath, the weight that’s been sitting in my chest since I slithered into bed last night rising with it. “I’m fine.” I lick my lips, knowing she won’t buy my lie.
It’s an unwritten rule. No one who says they are fine is actually fine.
Charleigh scrunches her nose. “Is this about what happened last night with Holt?”
I open my mouth to object but know she’s right.
“Holt,” I say, rolling my eyes. “Adam. Me caving to my best friend because she gave me puppy dog eyes and going up on stage for that ridiculous auction. All of it.” I shake my head and give up on the orchid arrangement.
After wrapping my hands around the blown-glass vase, I carry it over to the table set along the far wall.
Dropping it on the table, I move between the tables and stop behind the checkout counter, to boot up my computer.
“Selene,” Charleigh says, urging me to stop.
My teeth cut into the side of my cheek, and I swear I can still taste Holt on my mouth. Should be impossible considering he didn’t even stick his tongue past my lips.
“You know you can talk to me, right?”
I reluctantly shift my gaze toward hers.
She frowns. “I know you have your sister, and Jules, too, but we’ve been close for so many years. How many is it now?” Tilting her head to the flower wallpapered ceiling, she narrows her eyes in concentration.
“Six years,” I answer for her, remembering the day we met.
I’d passed by her store after having the worst last shift of serving at a small pizza place a few blocks over.
I was covered in pizza sauce after a co-worker spilled an entire can of sauce on the floor.
The tin had bounced off the tiles, sending a splatter of red liquid across my white T-shirt.
Once the manager stepped out from his office to see what had happened, my co-worker pointed an accusatory finger in my direction.
I didn’t even argue when he’d fired me on the spot, no questions asked.
I was tired of working with co-workers who constantly teased me for being too quiet and reserved, anyway.
I’d reeked of garlic and dried pizza sauce when I’d passed Charleigh’s flower shop on my way to the subway station back home.
I’d stopped outside and found myself smiling at the flowers displayed in the front windows.
Then I’d glanced down at my food-stained T-shirt.
I’d never been more certain walking into Charleigh’s shop and asking her for a job was what I was meant to do.
At least in the meantime while I’d gained my bearings in the city and figured out how to gain a foothold within the publishing industry.
Temporary. That’s what this job was supposed to be.
Now, six years later, I’m fussing over a bouquet of orchids, with a fully finished manuscript that I’m uncertain I ever want to see the light of day. Self-doubt is a bitch.
“What’s going on in that head of yours?” Charleigh tilts hers and reaches out, tucking my hair behind my ear.
“I don’t know.” I shake my head. “Life has just been weird lately, and the events of last night only made it worse.”
“Yeah.” Charleigh nods. “I love Julianna, but sometimes she doesn’t read the room. She means well but—"
“No,” I interrupt. “I don’t blame her at all. You and London obviously weren’t an option. I’m the single one, and if it wasn’t for me being debilitatingly shy, she probably wouldn’t have had to do so much begging.”
“Have you talked to her since last night?”
I stare back at my computer screen. “Not yet.”
“I talked to her this morning. She feels terrible and thinks you’re upset with her.”
I turn back to Charleigh. “I’m not.”
“I told her that, and I told her she should just call or message you, but she’s been oddly silent.”
“That is strange. Julianna Capuleti is never silent. I should have messaged her or called. I’ve just been distracted and in this weird space, you know? I haven’t even talked to London.”
When I’m caught up in my own head, unable to sort my thoughts, silence is normally my MO, not Julianna’s.
“I think she understands that. I think we all do.” Charleigh shrugs a shoulder. “Maybe Holt kissing you is bothering her. Remember how much she used to warn us to stay away from him?”
I tug my bottom lip under my teeth, thinking back to Julianna’s comments about Holt with women.
She’s always been critical of him and the women he’s dated over the years, warning us, her best friends, to stay clear of him because he’s trouble.
I never truly understood what she meant by trouble.
Considering I never date, though, I never put much stock into it.
My stomach somersaults, tasting him on my mouth again. I’ve had two cups of coffee, brushed my teeth, eaten a mini spinach and feta quiche from the bakery down the street, and I can still taste him.
Maybe it’s all in my head.
His large hand wrapped around my waist, pulling me toward him, slamming his mouth to mine. The taste of mint and aftershave permeating my lips.
Yep, it’s definitely all in my head.
I inhale a deep breath and blink the memory of last night away. It’s no use thinking on it much longer.
My phone vibrates on the counter beside my keyboard. I pick it up and flip it over, reading the message bubble at the top of the screen.
Holt: Can we talk?
“Is that her?” Charleigh perks up, eyes dropping to my phone.
“No.” I groan. “Holt.” I place it back on the counter, face down.
She jerks her head back in surprise. “Holt? Really?”
“Yeah, he messaged me earlier, but I haven’t responded. He wants to talk. I’m assuming about last night.”
“I asked if you were upset with Jules, but I didn’t think to ask…” Her eyebrows rise, widening her gorgeous sparkling eyes. “Are you upset with Holt?” The curl to the corner of her mouth is hard to ignore.
Her question slams into me like a ton of bricks. Am I upset with Holt for kissing me? I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him or the kiss, but I’m uncertain why I haven’t stopped thinking about it.
Part of me is thankful the store hasn’t opened yet.
A fury of conflicted feelings is raging inside me.
I feel for my grandmother’s necklace for clarity, but my mind wanders to Holt before, like a pendulum motioning at full speed, it swings to my parents.
I’ve been thinking about them more than usual lately.
Tears sting the backs of my eyes. I swallow them away and basically give my best friend an unhealthy dose of word vomit—an unusual occurrence for me.
“I’m only upset he made the situation worse than it already was by kissing me.
He knew the reaction he would gain from the crowd, and that only made my anxiety about being up on stage amplify.
I’ve never been great at handling situations where everyone’s eyes are on me. Holt’s used to it.”
“True… but something tells me Holt is struggling with this lawsuit more than he’s letting on,” Charleigh argues. “Rome may be public enemy number one, but now I think back on the past year, it seems like Holt was at least attempting to diffuse the tension. Now, all hell has broken loose.”
A nagging little itch in the back of my mind tells me Charleigh might be right.
Holt may seem like a prick on the outside, but he does have a heart.
I’ve seen it in the way he hated seeing how his attempt to bring Rome into our friend circle hurt his sister.
He would never admit it out loud, but anyone who was truly paying attention could see his heart isn’t entirely made of stone.
Charleigh gives me a gentle, soft smile, then reaches out to grip my bicep. “I’m here for you if you need me. If you want to take the rest of the day off, you can.”
I shake my head, brushing off her comment about Holt and shifting my attention back to the damn orchids sitting on the far table, mocking me.
“No, my yoga class isn’t until this evening, and if I go home now, I’ll either be thinking about my manuscript or last night.
Being here is a welcome distraction. It’s better than being left alone with my thoughts. ”
Charleigh nods her agreement, which I’m thankful for.
“I’ll message Julianna and see if she’s okay after last night.
I’ve been avoiding social media, but Asher told me the news of Rome’s lawsuit is spreading like wildfire.
I’m just not sure how much of this is affecting Julianna.
Her and Holt have had a hot and cold relationship over the years, but I can imagine it’s affecting her at least a bit. ”
“Okay.” I inhale a cleansing breath and click back into my computer, opening up my latest invoice to send to Charleigh for approval.
I’m typing in a few numbers and calculating the cost of our latest shipment, but I can’t help the uneasiness growing in my stomach. It’s a nauseating feeling I can’t shake—one that has me thinking of my grandmother, my parents… their blood touching my toes.
Then all I see are blue eyes. Intense blue eyes peering into my soul right before feeling their owner’s lips against mine, stealing my breath.
Heat radiates across my chest and down my arms, pooling between my thighs.
My skin hums, the pressure points of his fingertips on my bare back searing me, marking me.
My phone vibrates on the counter again, twice in quick succession. I gasp for air and startle at the sound. My eyes snap open. I hadn’t realized I’d closed them.
Picking up my phone, I turn it over.
A text from Julianna in the girls’ chat is at the top.
Julianna: Girl’s night, ASAP. We need to talk.
After reading the message, I lift my gaze to find Charleigh staring at me, her phone resting in her hand.
Then I look down again, reading the message that came in right behind it, seconds apart.
Holt: We need to talk. Don’t make me beg, Wallflower.
It seems the Capuletis are just as unsettled about last night as I am.
Charleigh quickly taps out a response to Julianna’s text.
I don’t look at my phone long enough to see her reply. I don’t need to.
As for the other text—his text—I swallow the heat brewing inside me and turn my phone over in my hand before slamming it back down on the counter.