Chapter Thirty-Three Ozzy
Chapter Thirty-Three
Ozzy
Over the next month, Lola and I spend all our free time at Maren’s, working on her remodel and cat-sitting. When she’s out of town, we send her pictures and video updates of Bandit and the progress.
We haven’t discussed Lola and me moving in with her since the day she suggested it. I can’t sort things out in my head, so I don’t know how to approach this with Lola and her grandparents.
“When Lola’s better, are you still planning on moving to Florida?” I ask out of the blue. Tia and Amos are helping me clean the kitchen. Lola’s staying with my mom tonight, and Maren is assisting with a massive fire in Canada.
“Why do you ask?” Tia answers all questions with a question. Brynn did the same thing.
“Has Lola changed her mind about riding in a car?” Amos asks.
“Not yet. But if you plan on staying in Missoula, which Lola would love, you should buy this house from me.”
“Are you hurting for money?” Tia closes the dishwasher and leans against the counter.
I stay focused on washing the dishes in the sink while Amos dries them. “No. I’m thinking about moving in with Maren.”
Tia scoffs. “Don’t be ridiculous.”
“Why is that so ridiculous?” I glance over at her as she cleans the stovetop.
“Because you’ve only known her for a few months, and it would be irresponsible of you to make such a drastic change in Lola’s life right now. Never mind that you’ve already let that woman get too close to your daughter.”
“That woman has a name. It’s Maren. And Lola adores her.”
“Of course she likes her. Maren got her a cat. Maren doesn’t have to be more than Lola’s fun adult friend. She’s a stranger bribing a kid with candy.”
“My god, she’s not a stranger. And she’s not bribing Lola.” I rinse a saucepan and hand it to Amos.
“Where are you going with this?” Tia tosses the sponge into the dishwater and crosses her arms. “Are you planning on marrying her? And God forbid, if you are, you need to do it before you pack up your daughter and shack up with this woman. At the very least, you need to be a role model. If you don’t want Lola making these kinds of rash decisions down the road, you need to set the right example now.”
I pull the plug on the drain and dry my hands. “You still haven’t answered my original question.”
“You want us to buy your house so you can move in with another woman? No. If you don’t need us, then we’re leaving.”
“I didn’t say I don’t need you.”
“If you have time to fall in love and move in with someone, then I think that’s a pretty clear indicator that you don’t need us. Your mom can watch her.”
“My mom can’t get her from school in the fall,” I say, tossing the towel aside while Amos slinks out of the kitchen like he always does when things get heated.
“Then ask Maren to do it.” Tia narrows her eyes, tipping her chin up a fraction.
“Maren has a job.”
“And that’s my problem?”
I rub the back of my neck and sigh. “It’s not. You’re making this into a vendetta. I’m simply asking if you want to stay close to your granddaughter after she no longer needs you to help her home from school.”
“Don’t use her as a pawn, Ozzy.”
“A pawn?” I cough a laugh. “How am I using her as a pawn? I’m asking you a hypothetical question. Period. You’re the one putting conditions on helping out with her. As long as I stay single and submissive to your every request, you’ll help with Lola, but if I want a life beyond the role of grieving widower, you’re ready to pack up and leave. So if you’re only here to control me, you might as well pack up and leave now. But if you’re here for Lola and Brynn, stop making this about me.”
This is why I’ve avoided the subject for a month. I knew it wouldn’t go well. Tia is a stubborn woman with an eternal broken heart and a just-as-eternal grudge.
She draws in a long breath and holds it. On the exhale, she gives me a fake smile. “We’ll start packing our stuff tonight. And tomorrow we’ll tell Lola why we’re leaving.”
I’m fucked, but I can’t bring myself to beg and submit any longer. “ We’ll tell her tomorrow so there’s no confusion about why you’re leaving.”
“Grow up, Ozzy.” She scowls before retreating to her bedroom.
Running my hands through my hair, I exhale a long breath as my phone vibrates in my pocket. “Hey,” I answer, pinching the bridge of my nose.
“What’s wrong?” Maren asks.
“Nothing. Sorry. How are you?”
“I’m eating crappy hotel food in my sketchy hotel bed after a boring day of waiting for the powers that be to get their heads out of their asses and send us where we’re needed. Let’s get back to you. Why do you sound so exhausted?”
“You’re in Canada. Lola’s at my mom’s. And I just had dinner with Tia and Amos. And the postdinner conversation didn’t go well, but it is what it is. I’m going to ride over to Diego’s house. That should help.”
“I’m sorry you had a bad evening. Who’s Diego?”
“My best friend.”
“Why am I just now hearing about this Diego guy? And I thought I was your only friend,” she says.
I grin, heading downstairs. “Why have you never asked about my other friends? Also, you’re so much more than a friend.”
“A lover?”
“The best lover.” I put her on speaker and toss the phone onto my bed while changing from jeans into shorts.
“A psychiatrist Jamie used to work with told her that there are some promising studies on VR use for symptoms of anxiety in people with phobias. As a side note, the doctor is obsessed with virtual reality—a gamer like Will. Coincidentally, Will took her virginity before she was eighteen because she was a prodigy in med school before she was old enough to vote. But Jamie said Dr. Reichart knows her stuff. It seems worth a try.”
“How old was Will when he took this girl’s virginity?”
Maren giggles. “ That’s what piqued your curiosity from everything I just told you?”
“Will’s your backup husband, so I’m curious about the man you deem worthy of such an honor.”
“You think it’s an honor to be a backup husband?”
“Of course.”
“It’s like sloppy seconds,” she says. “Can we get back to the VR therapy?”
“I’ll ask Lola’s therapist about it,” I say, grabbing my phone and heading back upstairs.
“Okay. But if she’s not receptive, you could do your own research or get a second opinion. And please don’t think I’m telling you how to parent your daughter; I’m just—”
“You love her too,” I say, shoving my feet into my sneakers. “So your opinion matters. Don’t feel shy about making suggestions. Okay?”
Silence settles between us.
“Maren?”
“I’m here. It’s just . . .”
“What?”
“Every day.”
I open the garage door to get my bike. “Every day what?”
“Every day, you say or do something to make me fall a little deeper in love with you. How do you do that?”
I chuckle. “I guess I have great women in my life who make it easy to be a lovable guy. Or you feel sorry for me, and you’ve taken pity on me like you did with Bandit. That’s the only explanation for why you would swallow.”
She coughs a laugh. “Oh my god, you have sex on the brain all the time.”
I latch my phone into the holder on my bike and fasten my helmet. “I take it that’s not the lovable part of me?”
She laughs. I love her laughter and how it makes me feel alive and hopeful again. I wish it could erase my conversation with Tia, but that woman’s words stain like a permanent marker.
“Your new kitchen sink comes in tomorrow. I’ll have it set before you get home,” I say, slipping in a Bluetooth earbud and heading down the street.
“My fridge is being delivered on Thursday. Jamie said she’d be there for the delivery if I’m not home. I feel like so much has happened in the week I’ve been gone.”
“It’s looking great. And Lola has a surprise for you.”
“God, I miss her,” she says with a sigh.
If I don’t control my grin, I’ll show up at Diego’s with a dozen bugs between my teeth. Maren thinks she falls in love with me every day, but I fall deeper in love with her every second of every day.
“Be safe, baby. Okay?”
“I’ll do my best. Hug Lola and Bandit for me.”
“Bandit doesn’t like hugs.”
“He doesn’t like hugs from you because you abandoned him. But if you tell him the hug is from me, he’ll keep his claws in check.”
I chuckle. “You’re such a liar, but I love you anyway.”
Maren hums. “Say it again.”
“You’re a liar.”
“Ozzy.”
I glance behind me before turning the corner. “I love you.”
“Now I can sleep. It’s like a warm blanket and a kiss on my forehead.”
“If I were with you, I’d kiss you good night in far more intimate places than your forehead.”
“When you press your lips to my forehead, it’s very intimate. In fact, I don’t think a guy kisses a girl on the forehead until he loves her. It’s like a parent kissing a child on the forehead to see if they have a fever. It’s a loving gesture.”
Brynn used to kiss Lola on the forehead all the time. And last winter, when I wasn’t feeling well, Lola tucked me into my bed and gave me her favorite stuffed animal while kissing me on the forehead.
“We’re both right,” I say. “If I were with you, I would kiss you in so many places, but before you fell asleep in my arms, I would kiss your forehead.”
“I know. Good night. And I love you too,” she says before ending the call.
“It’s Lola’s dad!” Kai yells before opening the screen door.
“Hey, Kai,” I say.
“Where’s Lola?” She cranes her neck to look past me. “I haven’t seen her in forever.”
“She’s at her grandma’s house for the night.”
Kai frowns as Diego comes around the corner, wiping his hands on a dish towel.
“Sorry. Dinner’s over,” he says.
“I ate.”
Kai spins on her bare feet and heads up the stairs without another word.
“Ozzy.” Cheyenne steps around the corner with her hand on her pregnant belly. “Good to see you.” She hugs me.
“You too. And you look amazing.”
She takes a step back and rolls her eyes. “I’m a mammoth.”
Diego hands her the towel and kisses her cheek. “You’re carrying our baby. That makes you a goddess. I’ll be out in the garage with Oz.”
“Then you’re rubbing my feet.” Cheyenne tosses her long black hair over her shoulder. “And my back.”
He nods toward the door. “I’ll rub everything.”
I step back outside, and he follows me to the garage.
“I’ve gotten myself into a pickle,” I say.
“A pickle, huh? Well, who doesn’t love a good pickle?”
“Tia and Amos are leaving if I don’t drop to my knees, beg for forgiveness, and vow to stay single for eternity. And while not having help might be fine this summer, I’m screwed when school starts.”
Diego retrieves two beers from his fridge and hands one to me.
“Is this about the blow job woman?” He takes a swig of his beer.
“Let’s call her Maren.”
He smirks. “Is this about Maren?”
I nod. “She asked me and Lola to move in with her.”
“Why don’t they like her?”
“Because she’s not Brynn.”
Diego shakes his head. “That’s messed up. It’s been more than two years.”
“It’s not like I was searching for her. She kind of appeared from nowhere. I’m not on dating apps. I rarely go out to bars or put myself in situations to meet women. And now I ...”
Diego eyes me, waiting for me to finish.
I don’t. Instead, I drink my beer and admire the new rims on his Mustang.
“You love her,” he says.
“Yep,” I say, like I don’t want to love her. But I do. I want to love her. I want to move in with her. And if I don’t scare her away, I want to be the reason she doesn’t need a backup husband in two years.
“And Lola?”
“She adores her. And I haven’t told her that Maren asked us to move in with her, because when I explain why it’s not an easy decision, it will fall on her shoulders because she won’t get into a car or ride the school bus.”
“What if she did online schooling until she got past this? It’s something she could do at your mom’s house.”
I take another big gulp of beer and shake my head. “That’s been brought up in the past by Tia. Lola loves school. Despite a few asshole kids who make fun of her scars, she loves it. And taking that from her would feel like ten steps backward. She’d hate me for it. That girl is a social butterfly.”
Diego bows his head and stares at his beer bottle for several seconds. “What if you’re overprotecting her?”
“What do you mean? She sees a therapist. Everything I do is at the suggestion of an expert. It’s not like I’m making this up as I go. This isn’t my pace; it’s Lola’s pace, which her therapist says I need to respect.”
Diego shakes his head. “I’m not suggesting you push her into anything or that you make her feel guilty. But you can be honest with her in a loving way. You should tell her that Maren asked you to move in with her. And if that happens, Tia and Amos will leave. Then you can tell her about your predicament in the fall. Let her help figure out a solution.”
“She’ll feel guilty,” I say.
“Or empowered. Maybe she’ll feel a sense of responsibility to help find a solution.”
I lean against his tool chest and cross one ankle over the other. “It could backfire on me.”
Diego nods several times. “It could. But you said it yourself. You’re in a pickle. I don’t think you have a choice to keep this from Lola.”
“Unless I tell Maren now is not a good time. And I make nice with Tia and Amos. Keep the status quo while we wait for Lola to get better.”
Again, Diego nods. “You can do that. But is that what you want to do?”
I shrug a shoulder. “Want? Fuck, man, I can’t realistically think about what I want because my wants feel selfish and irresponsible.”
“That’s just your shrunken testicles talking.”
I finish my beer and toss the bottle into his bin. “You’re right. I need to tell Lola.”
“I think that’s the best solution,” Diego says.