Chapter Nineteen
ETHAN
My heart was beating in my ears. Loud and unrelenting.
Each thump echoed as I kept looking down at him—at Sebastian Langley, on his knees, for me.
I’d asked for it, but never in a million years had I imagined it would come with those words. With this piece of himself I’d never truly believed he would give me. Not like this. Not willingly.
I love you.
He wasn’t terrified, and that was the thing. His shoulders had eased, just slightly. His eyes stayed locked on mine, like something heavy had finally been set down. Like he’d said it—and could finally breathe.
There he was, waiting. Waiting for me to react. To acknowledge what he’d just done.
And all I could do was stare through the pounding of my heart.
My lips were still tingling from his kiss. I could still taste him—smoke and heat and us, lingering on my tongue. Every instinct in my body told me to move. To close the distance.
Experience kept me exactly where I was.
“You love me?” The words slipped out, disbelieving.
“Yes,” he said, without hesitation.
“I don’t—” I stopped, not even sure where I’d been going with that.
Sebastian’s palms rested on his thighs as he sat back on his heels. “Please forgive me.” Moonlight caught the sharp lines of his face, softening him in a way that made my chest ache.
I love you.
“Please give me a chance to make this right. To prove to you how much I mean it. How much I need you with me.”
He was actually begging.
I love you.
My heartbeat sped up, each thud crowding the next, chest rising and falling too fast. My fingers tingled with the urge to touch—to take—to feel.
“Please…” The word came out on a breath, quiet and wrecked.
He loves me.
My body moved before my head could catch up. I crossed the distance in two steps, hands fisting in his shirt, in his hair, hauling him up as I dropped on him and caught his mouth in a bruising kiss. It felt like impact—like collision—like every second I’d spent holding myself back finally snapped.
His breath left him in a broken sound against my lips.
I kissed him like I needed to feel it in my bones.
Like it had to hurt a little, just to know it was real.
Everything blurred into warmth and pressure and the persistent pounding of my heart in my ears.
The world narrowed to the slide of his mouth against mine, to the way his hands tightened like he was afraid I’d vanish if he let go.
I didn’t think.
I couldn’t.
I just kissed him back—hard and deep and desperate—like saying yes without words. Choosing him all over again.
His hands found my waist, pulling me close, sliding lower until they slipped under my thighs.
I nodded frantically into the kiss, and he pushed up from the floor.
My legs locked around his hips, holding myself there as he carried us into his bedroom without breaking stride.
The terrace door clicked shut behind us, keeping the warmth in.
As soon as my back hit the bed, I fisted my hands in his shirt and hauled him down over me, not giving either of us a second to think. Nobody was going to slow this down. Not now.
He was mine. He was finally fucking mine.
A sound broke from me as I pulled at his clothes, fingers clumsy on the buttons of his shirt when I realized I couldn’t just rip it off. He didn’t have the same problem—one rough pull, and my sweater and shirt were gone, and he was back at my mouth, helping me finish undoing his shirt.
Then his bare skin was over mine, and I went dizzy with it—with how badly I wanted him, with how long this hunger had lived beneath the surface. His hips pressed down on mine, his body settling perfectly between my legs, and there was nothing left to hide about how badly we wanted each other.
I slid my hands between us, reaching for his waistband when he broke the kiss.
His forehead rested against mine, his mouth a breath away, hot and panting. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.” I arched up into him, catching his mouth again.
Sebastian pushed my sweats down, taking my underwear with them. He barely got them past my ass before his hand came back, grabbing, squeezing—rough with want. The clink of his belt cut through the room, and I fumbled to undo it, groaning when I felt the hard line of his cock slide against mine.
“F-fuck—” I’d missed that. I’d missed him so much.
We both wanted the same thing—to move together, to close the distance completely—but our half-assed attempts at getting undressed kept getting in the way.
I pushed him back, breaking the kiss. “Take your fucking clothes off.”
Sebastian huffed out a short, amused breath before stepping back off the bed and doing exactly what I asked. I finished kicking off my sweats as I watched him. As he bared himself, his eyes stayed locked on mine.
He was still a work of art—toned without being excessive, skin tanned and dusted with dark hair, familiar and devastating all at once.
He looked broader than he used to. Stronger.
The sight of him like this sent my pulse spiking.
And his dick—fuck—it stood at attention, full of promises of what was about to happen.
I wanted to run my tongue over it. Ride it until he screamed my name.
The clatter of the bedside drawer snapped my attention back to his face as he reached inside, pulling out what he needed and setting it on the mattress.
His jaw was tight when he looked at me. “Pillows.”
I crawled back onto the bed, opening my legs in clear invitation, silently telling him to come back to me.
He did, his mouth curving into a smirk as his eyes traced every inch of my exposed skin.
And then he was back in my space, crashing into my mouth before either of us could even think about slowing down.
I ran my hands all over him—down the broad span of his back, my nails scraping as I went, over his ass as he rutted against me, sending waves of pleasure through my body. Into his hair, gripping and tugging. I couldn’t make up my mind. I wanted all of him.
Sebastian’s mouth finally broke away from mine, kissing along my jaw and down my throat, sucking hard enough to pull a moan from me.
My body rocked beneath him with every movement, the agonizing pleasure of his cock dragging over mine, again and again, driving me wild.
His hands were open and hot against my ribs, then under my thighs, bracing my legs around him, holding me exactly where he wanted me.
His lips slid up, close to my ear, and in that deep, gorgeous register, he rumbled, “I missed you, my pet.”
I groaned loudly, the name landing harder than it ever had before. “Fuck—fuck me, Ash. Right now.”
His forehead rested against mine again, his dark eyes locked on my lips. “Is that what you want?” His voice was unsteady, rough with want, his hips grinding against mine.
“Ah—” I gasped. “Fuck yes. Now.”
He moved back to my neck, kissing and licking over my collarbone. I was about to protest when I heard the unmistakable click of the lube opening. A second later, slick fingers were at my taint, sliding back to rub over my hole.
My neck arched, head pressing into the pillows as my fingers twisted tight in his hair. “I want to suck your dick,” I said, breathless.
Sebastian hummed, his mouth trailing down my chest until he reached my nipple, drawing it into his mouth. “Later.” His fingertip kept circling, coaxing, almost teasing me into relaxing before pressing inside.
My legs fell open at my sides. “More. Don’t go slow. I can’t—fuck.” His finger sank deeper. “I can’t do slow right now.”
His mouth stayed on my chest, licking and nibbling, the pleasure sharp enough to make me hiss before he moved to the other side.
“Then relax for me, my darling,” he murmured. Another suck. “So I can get inside you.” A bite. “And fuck you the way you want me to.” He pulled his finger out and replaced it with two.
A loud groan left me, and he followed with one of his own.
“That’s it, pet. Loud,” he whispered against my lips, licking his way into my mouth. “Make it loud for me.”
He kissed me deep, swallowing every sound his fingers drew out of me as they kept moving—sliding in, curving just right—until stars burst behind my eyes.
When he worked a third in, my whole body coiled tight, ankles digging into the backs of his thighs to keep him close.
My cock leaked against my stomach, desperate for attention.
As if reading my thoughts, he broke away from the kiss and traced his mouth down my body until he reached me, licking the head.
My hips lifted, my eyes rolling back. “Fuck!”
“Are you close?” he panted, his nose brushing along my cock before he buried it in the hair at the base, inhaling deeply, his hand cupping my balls before giving them a tug.
“Yes.” I didn’t bother lying. The edge in his voice told me he was close too.
He pulled his fingers free without warning—gentle but decisive—and moved off me.
The sound of the condom wrapper tearing echoed in the room, my body vibrating with anticipation as I watched him settle on his knees between my legs, slicking himself with more lube before working a little more into me.
He crawled back over me, hands hooking under my knees and pressing my thighs toward my chest.
Sebastian kissed me again, softer this time, lingering, pulling me into it. “Ready?”
I nodded as the blunt head of his cock pressed against me. He didn’t push in—just dragged it over me like he couldn’t help himself. The look on his face, completely lost in this, knocked the breath out of me. It had been so long since I’d seen it.
“Come on,” I groaned. “Push it in.”
A grin curved his lips as he adjusted his weight, the pressure building.
My lips parted on a breath as he ran his tongue over them—
And the head of his cock slipped inside.