Chapter Twenty-Two #2
I blinked, a little thrown, as a familiar doubt stirred before I pushed it down.
He was tired, after all.
Maybe in the morning.
Morning wasn’t it either.
When I woke up again, ready to jump him, Sebastian had already gotten up, taken a shower, and was back in his fancy office clothes.
And when I shoved the covers off, gave him bedroom eyes, and very clearly displayed the problem I was dealing with, he only leaned in, kissed me, brushed his thumb over my cheek, and promised we’d get to it later.
There was heat in his eyes—real heat. They roamed over me with the same intensity they usually did. But then he did, in fact, leave.
So I was left to handle my situation on my own.
Three days.
It wasn’t a lot.
But it kind of was.
Three days of him being here… but not really being here.
He was doing the cute gift-giving thing again.
I’d get to my desk, and there’d be something waiting for me with a little note I knew was in his handwriting, not Vanessa’s.
We’d see each other around the office, and he’d smile.
When we had the chance, we’d talk and flirt.
We didn’t touch—because touching was still out of the question in public—but anyone with half a brain could see something was going on.
On paper, everything looked perfect. Work was running smoothly. I was back in meetings that mattered. Nothing was technically wrong.
But something was off.
If there was one thing that had always defined us, it was the hunger. That relentless pull toward each other. Even back then, when I wasn’t sure of anything and didn’t know how to ask for more, the second those walls came down, all we did was have sex.
And that night in New York just confirmed it.
So why, pray tell, was he suddenly keeping that from me?
He didn’t come back to the apartment. Didn’t spend the night.
I tried telling myself it was the end of the month. That he was buried under numbers and decisions and putting out fires I only half understood. That I was drowning in final projects and group presentations and didn’t have the bandwidth to spiral either.
Didn’t help.
By the fourth day, I’d had enough.
I tried cornering him in his office, but Vanessa informed me he’d already left for a meeting. So, call it was.
I paced the living room, phone pressed to my ear as it rang.
On the second ring, he picked up. “Hello, darling.” His smooth voice rolled out warm and easy.
I smiled despite myself. “Hiya, stranger. Missed you tonight.” I made sure my tone was nice and raspy—the way I knew he couldn’t resist.
He hummed. “I’m sorry. Got pulled into work. Now I’m going over reports.”
“You’re back at the office?” I frowned, checking my watch. “It’s almost nine.”
“No, I’m home.”
Right.
His apartment.
The one I still hadn’t been invited to.
“Do you need any help?” My fingers traced the edge of the couch. “I could look them over with you.” A smirk tugged at my lips. “Or get under your desk and keep you company.”
Sebastian’s groan lit hope in my chest.
“I have a better proposal for you.”
I smiled. “I’m all ears.”
“Why don’t we skip that tonight? I’ll get work out of the way, and we can go out somewhere. Just the two of us.”
It was ridiculous how I could get butterflies and still have my stomach sink at the same time.
“Outside?”
“Yeah. Next week.”
Next week? What in the actual fuck?
“Are you busy this week?”
“Well… it’s the end of the month. You know I’m delegating, but I have to go over a million things—”
My rational brain stopped listening. He was doing it again—choosing work, choosing distance. Giving just enough and withholding everything else.
Fuck this.
Fuck Sebastian and his stupid games. Why couldn’t he ever just be clear with me?
“Okay, then. See you next week, I guess.” I tried to keep my voice neutral, even though all I wanted to do was slam the phone down.
“Promise I’ll make it up to you, pet. I’m just incredibly behind after two weeks away. I need to catch up.”
“Mhm.”
Silence stretched between us.
“Are we good?” he asked.
I nodded, even though he couldn’t see it, forcing the words out. “We’re good.”
“See you tomorrow?”
“Sure.”
There was movement on the other end. “Darling, are you sure—”
“I’m getting another call. Talk later,” I said too brightly and hung up.
I exhaled hard through my nose, then breathed in for calm.
One.
Two.
Three—
Fuck calm.
My phone chimed.
My Creep
Can you call me when you’re done?
A pang of guilt flared in my chest, because everything could be true—he probably was buried in work—but it still fucking stung.
Why did it suddenly feel like having sex with me was a chore?
This wasn’t another item on his schedule.
This was supposed to be ease. Relief. Something we both wanted. So why did it feel like rejection?
Maybe he’d changed his mind. Maybe coming home reminded him that I was still a liability.
Poor Ethan—too many feelings. Always the mess. Always the thing Sebastian had to manage.
I paced.
And of course Henry wasn’t here. Not that I should be telling him any of this, but he was usually good at talking me off the ledge.
But was it a ledge?
Or was it time to force him into having a conversation with me and drop all the bullshit once and for all? Either he was in, or he was out. End of discussion.
My brain tried to rationalize. Tried to be fair.
Anger won.
I grabbed my keys, shoved on my shoes, and headed for his apartment.
The cool night air hit my face the second I stepped outside, sharp and dry in my lungs. It should have helped—given me space to breathe, something—but neither that nor the ten-minute walk did a damn thing.
So when I stopped in front of the familiar entrance, I was still fuming and confused—which the doorman clearly picked up on. He straightened slightly as he called Sebastian, announcing that I was downstairs demanding to be let up.
I rode the elevator, jabbing the button harder than necessary, and waited for it to drag itself up five floors and spit me out at his doorstep, where he was already standing with that slightly baffled little smile that, under literally any other circumstance, would’ve been endearing.
Right now it wasn’t.
“Darling, what—” he started, hand still on the door.
I walked straight past him and into his apartment. It was neat, like his place in New York—but this one actually looked lived in. By a human.
There was an empty cup on the coffee table, the pillows on the couch looked rumpled, the whole place smelled like him.
It was one of those old buildings turned modern; beautifully redone, and I might have taken more time to appreciate it, because it really was lovely—but then the door clicked shut behind me, and the sound snapped me back to why I was here.
I turned on him. “Why are you brushing me off?”
Sebastian blinked. “I’m not—”
“Oh, you’re not?” I crossed my arms.
The small curve of his mouth faded. “Are you mad at me?”
“Yes!” My arms dropped, frustration spilling over. “Of course I’m fucking mad at you.”
He looked completely crestfallen as he moved closer. “Why?”
I stepped back. “Because you’re doing that thing again. You’re pushing me back.”
“Darling—when? We talk every day. When have I pushed you back?” His gaze roamed my face like he was trying to catch whatever he’d missed. “Is this because of tonight?”
“Tonight and every other day since you’ve been back.”
His eyes widened. “What?”
I exhaled hard.
“What did I do?” he asked, keeping his voice soft. “Just help me understand—”
“You won’t have sex with me.”
Silence fell heavy between us.
We stared at each other. I could hear my pulse in my ears as I waited for him to deny it. Admit it. Something.
Instead, his lips twitched.
“Don’t you fucking laugh at me, Sebastian Langley.”
He inhaled sharply, pressing his lips together. “I’m not. I promise I’m not—it’s just…”
“What?”
His hands went to his hips like he needed something to do with the impulse, mouth fighting another smile. “I’ve been back for less than a week.”
“Yeah, but we hadn’t seen each other for two,” I said. “And four fucking years before that. You’ve been sex-starved since I met you, and now suddenly you’re the most patient man alive? Out of nowhere?”
He tried to smother it. Failed. A breath of laughter escaped.
“Don’t fucking laugh!”
He dragged his hand over his face, covering his mouth. “I’m sorry, darling.” He shook his head, but that stupid glint was still in his eyes. “I am turning forty next year. Have you factored that into your equation?”
“Don’t be cute with me,” I said. “This distance—it’s not you. And we haven’t even talked about what’s going on with us, and now you don’t even want me—”
The humor vanished from his face cleanly. “I don’t want you?” he repeated, disbelief raw in his voice.
“What the hell am I supposed to think?”
“Not that. Never that.” His tone softened, urgent now. “Ethan, I love—”
“Yeah, so you’ve said. But we’re still hiding. Everything is behind closed doors. It’d be very easy to pretend it never happened like that, wouldn’t it?”
His lips parted like I’d physically winded him.
“So what is this?” I demanded, throwing my hands up. “If you’re not pushing me back, then what are we doing? Because you change your mind constantly, you don’t talk to me, and I’m tired of guessing—tired of being fed scraps—”
“Scraps?”
“Yes. That’s what you do. It’s what you’ve always done. You don’t take me seriously—”
“I don’t take you seriously?” His voice dropped. “Darling, are you kidding me?”
Anger flared again. “What else am I supposed to think? Should I just keep believing your promises—you don’t exactly have the best track record.”
His shoulders slumped for the briefest second—then straightened. “I take you very seriously, Ethan,” he said quietly. “I always have.”
“Fucking words—”
Sebastian turned and walked away.
“Hey!” I followed, pulse pounding. “We are not done. You don’t get to walk away. I want answers.”
He crossed the room to the far wall, reached for the bookshelf, fingers finding something I couldn’t see. A keypad chirped.
“I’m serious, Sebastian—”
Metal clicked. The safe opened, and he reached inside.
“You can’t just—”
He turned back and placed something on the table with a heavy, absolute thud.
I stopped.
“So am I,” he said, his voice calm as he lifted his hand. “I’ve never been more serious.”
A small black jewelry box sat there.
The kind that held promises.
Real ones.
Permanent ones.
My breath hitched.