Chapter 43
Kabir's Perspective
The May night was heavy with warmth, the kind that made the air feel thick and still. Even with the window open, there wasn't much relief—the faint rustle of leaves and the occasional chirping of crickets only seemed to emphasize the stifling heat. I sat at my desk, surrounded by the scattered remains of a long day—open books, notebooks filled with diagrams and formulas, and my phone lying face-up beside my physics notes.
The results of the board exams had been out for hours now. Aditi had topped the district, of course. Everyone knew she would. And me? I was second. I wasn't upset or disappointed about not coming first—if anything, I felt proud of my efforts. Still, something weighed on me, a sense of restless anxiety that I couldn't quite place. Maybe it was the pressure of the upcoming JEE Advanced. Or maybe it was the fact that, despite the good news, I hadn't really talked to Aditi today.
I hadn't reached out, not properly. After our last board exam, I'd told her not to call me, and I regretted that now. I had been so stressed then, caught up in my own head. She hadn't taken it personally, but I wondered if she was waiting for me to reach out today, unsure of whether I still wanted space. That thought gnawed at me.
The phone on my desk seemed to taunt me with its silence. I had gone through the day pretending to focus on my books, on the upcoming exam, but my mind kept circling back to her. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I grabbed my phone and dialed her number before I could second-guess myself. It rang once before her familiar voice answered.
"Hey, Kabir," she said, her voice warm and light, like she had been expecting me.
"Hey, Frosty," I replied, my usual nickname for her bringing a smile to my face. "Topper of the district. Pretty impressive, huh?"
She let out a soft laugh, the sound like a balm to the tension I hadn't realized I'd been carrying all day. "Thanks," she said, her tone playful. "But second place is nothing to scoff at, Mr. Almost-Topper."
I grinned, leaning back in my chair. "Yeah, I guess I'll take that. But I swear, the congratulations calls were more exhausting than the actual exams."
"Tell me about it," she groaned. "I've been on the phone all day. But, you know, I was waiting for your call."
I paused, her words catching me off guard. She'd been waiting for me? Guilt tugged at me for hesitating earlier.
"I wasn't sure if you'd want to hear from me after... you know, the last time," I admitted, rubbing the back of my neck. "I didn't mean to make it seem like I didn't want to talk. I was just... caught up in everything."
"I know," she said softly, her voice understanding. "You were stressed. I get it. But I'm glad you called today. I missed hearing from you."
Her words eased something inside me, a tension I hadn't even realized I was holding. I smiled, feeling lighter just hearing her voice. "Yeah, I missed talking to you too. I should've called earlier."
"Better late than never," she teased, and I could hear the smile in her voice.
For a moment, I let the sound of her voice wash over me, the familiar warmth of her presence even through the phone. It made everything—the pressure, the expectations, the looming JEE exam—feel just a little more manageable.
"So, how's your night going?" I asked, leaning forward in my chair, eager to hear more from her. "You sound... way calmer than I feel."
"Calm?" she laughed lightly. "Well, I've been listening to Kabhi Kabhi Aditi on loop for an hour, so maybe that's helping."
I chuckled at that. "Of course, you're listening to that song again. It's like your default stress reliever."
"It is," she admitted with a mock-serious tone. "Don't judge me. It's soothing. You should try it."
"Yeah, I'll stick to my playlists," I joked. "But, if I get tired of Kabhi Kabhi Aditi, what should I switch to?"
There was a brief pause before she quipped, "Maybe you should listen to Kabira. You know, since it's literally your name."
I laughed out loud at that. "Touché, Frosty. I'll consider it next time I'm stressing out."
"You should!" she continued, her voice full of mock enthusiasm. "It's poetic—calm Kabir down with Kabira. Full circle."
"I'll add it to my playlist, then," I said, still chuckling. "If it works, you get full credit."
"Deal," she said brightly. "Though, you're going to need more than just songs to get through this exam pressure."
The mention of exams brought me back to reality, and my chest tightened again. I let out a long sigh, resting my elbows on the desk. "Yeah, the pressure's definitely real. It feels like there's no room to breathe between the board results and the JEE Advanced. Everyone's already talking about how this is the 'real' test and how the boards were just a warm-up."
"I know exactly what you mean," Aditi said, her voice softening. "It's like the moment we achieve something, we're told it's not enough, and there's more to do. But Kabir, you've worked so hard for this. You're going to ace it, I know you will."
"Sometimes it doesn't feel like enough, though," I confessed. "It's like I'm always worried about falling behind, about losing focus. If I stop for even a second, it feels like everything will fall apart."
There was a beat of silence before she spoke again, her voice steady and comforting. "You won't fall apart, Kabir. You're not a machine, though. You need to give yourself permission to rest, even if it's just for a little while. You deserve that."
I let her words sink in, the tension in my chest slowly loosening. "Yeah," I said quietly. "I guess I've just been so caught up in everything that I forgot it's okay to take a break."
"It's more than okay. It's necessary," she insisted, her voice firm but gentle. "You can't keep pushing yourself without pausing, Kabir. You've done everything you could. Trust yourself, and let yourself breathe. You've got this."
The warmth in her voice, the unwavering confidence she had in me—it did more than ease my worries. It reminded me that I wasn't alone in this, that I didn't have to carry all of this pressure by myself.
"Thanks, Frosty," I murmured, my voice quieter now. "You're always so good at making me feel better about this stuff."
"That's what I'm here for," she replied softly. "And, hey, whenever you need to vent or just talk, you know I'm here, right? You don't have to go through all this alone."
I leaned back in my chair, closing my eyes for a moment. "Yeah, I know. It helps. Just hearing your voice helps."
There was a brief, comfortable silence between us after that. The heat of the night still pressed in through the window, but it didn't feel quite so suffocating anymore.
"Hey, Frosty?" I said after a while, a smile tugging at the corner of my mouth.
"Yeah?"
"Do you think I'll have time to listen to Kabira before JEE, or should I save it for after?" I teased, wanting to lighten the mood again.
She laughed, a bright, carefree sound that made me smile. "You should definitely save it for after. That way, it'll be your victory song when you ace the exam."
"Alright, Kabira for the win," I said, grinning. "I'll hold you to that."
"Deal," she agreed. Then, more softly, she added, "But seriously, Kabir. You're going to do great. I believe in you."
"Thanks, Aditi," I said, her words wrapping around me like a comforting blanket. "That means a lot."
"Goodnight, Kabir," she said after a moment, her voice soft and warm, like the night itself.
"Goodnight, Frosty," I replied, feeling a quiet sense of peace settle over me.
As I hung up, I glanced around the room, the scattered books and notes no longer feeling like a burden. The night was still warm, still heavy, but the tension inside me had finally eased. With Aditi's words still echoing in my mind, I felt lighter, more at peace.
I closed my eyes and leaned back in my chair, letting the calm of the night, and the comfort of our conversation, lull me into a quiet sense of rest. I wasn't alone in this, and for now, that was enough.