Chapter 6
Camilla was thinking about the walk home with Abel the next morning. She was also thinking about all the other interesting things that she’d clearly misjudged about him. At the breakfast table, she found herself lost in thought, thinking of him and checking off his attributes in her mind.
For one thing, he was attractive. Very attractive. That was something she’d noticed right off the bat. Soft brown eyes under his thick dark hair. Muscular arms and chest. She’d been annoyed with him the day he was wearing the T-shirt in the restaurant. She thought of the definition in his arms and the outline of his pecs under the thin white material of his shirt and wondered what they might feel like under her hands. Abel was also at least a foot taller than her, which was definitely something that she was attracted to. If she ever kissed him, she would probably have to stand on her tiptoes to do it.
Instantly, the image of herself on her toes, balancing against him to kiss him brought the heat to her face. How had she gotten to that thought so fast? A week ago, his defiant attitude was getting on her nerves. Now…well, now things were different.
“Mommy?”
She looked up to see Charlie sitting across the table, his wide blue eyes with a question in them. His bowl of cereal was nearly empty, but he still had the spoon in his hand as if he was going to keep going until it was done.
“Yes, honey?”
“Can I come to work with you today?” he asked.
She smiled at him lovingly. “No,” she said. “You have to go to school.”
“Okay, but Mom, I can go to school tomorrow. Today, I want to come to work with you.”
“No,” she said, looking down at his bowl. “Are you finished with that?”
He nodded. “But Mommy, I think I should come with you today.”
She stood up, taking the half-empty bowl of mostly milk from in front of him. “Sorry, kiddo,” she said. “Mommy would have to stop doing her job to watch you, but I’m very busy when I’m at work.”
“I can stay out of the way. I can just talk to Mr. Abel while you work.”
She chuckled a little. Of course, it would be Abel. They’d gotten along well on their first meeting. “Ah, I see.” She took the bowl to the sink and rinsed it out. “So that’s why you want to come to work. You’ve found a new friend.”
“He’s really nice.” He started swinging his legs under the table. “Did you know he likes Bluey too? Like really, really likes it?”
“I did not know that. That is very interesting. I can see why you like him so much.”
“Yeah.” He threw her a big smile, his cheeks round like a chipmunk’s. “So can I come to work with you today?”
She knelt down next to him and booped his nose. “Nope.” He deflated a little, but he was still smiling. “Go wash up and get your stuff for school.”
Charlie sighed and said, “Okay” as he pushed away from the table and left the kitchen. A second later, she heard a thump at the door, then a knock. She went to open it and found Lulu standing on her porch, a look of annoyance on her face.
“Since when do you lock your door?” she asked as she walked in. She was wearing her security guard uniform, her dark, shoulder-length hair tied back in a ponytail.
Camilla shrugged. “There are desperate people out there,” she said. “You get held up and then all of a sudden, you’re locking your doors. Go figure.”
“Yeah, whatever,” said Lulu with a smirk. “Where’s little man?”
“He’s getting ready. Thanks again for picking us up today. I can’t believe my luck.”
“It’s no problem. What are friends for? And, listen, if you need a mechanic, I know a really good one on Main. Handsome, too. My cousin used to date him about a month ago, but they broke up, so he’s single.” She said the last few words in a sing-song voice that made Camilla chuckle a little.
“Thanks. I’ll see about him fixing my car. As for the rest…”
Charlie suddenly came running into the kitchen, grabbing Lulu by the legs and hugging her. “Hi!” he squealed. Lulu laughed with surprise and gave him a one-armed hug.
“Hey, there! You ready to go, champ?”
“Yeah!”
Camilla grabbed her jacket and purse. “Better get going then,” she said.
They dropped Charlie off first since the school was on the way. Pulling up to the entrance along with all the other parents, they watched hordes of kids in colorful backpacks getting out of cars and waving goodbye to their families. Charlie opened his door and hopped out with a single “Bye, Mommy! Bye, Lulu!” He bounced up the stairs without so much as a look back.
Camilla laughed. “That was the same kid that asked to come to work with me this morning at breakfast.”
Lulu smiled as they pulled away. “Yeah? Since when is he interested in hanging out at the restaurant?”
“Since…” Camilla paused. She didn’t exactly know how she felt about Abel just yet, and she didn’t know if she was ready to even talk about it. Lulu picked up on her apprehension and looked over at her.
“What?” she asked. Then a second later, it dawned on her. “Oh, don’t tell me. The new guy, right? The one that’s really cute.”
Camilla smiled wanly. She doubted Lulu was going to leave it at that. “Yeah,” she said. “He really likes Abel, apparently.”
Lulu glanced at her again, this time with a raised eyebrow. “Uh-huh,” she said. They drove in momentary silence, then she asked, “So you never told me how you got home last night.”
Camilla felt herself blushing. She looked out of the passenger’s side window to hide her flushing skin from Lulu. “I just walked. It’s not far, you know.”
“You walked. By yourself?”
“I had Charlie with me!”
“Camilla…” She nearly turned all the way around to look at her and probably would have if they weren’t driving.
“Okay,” said Camilla. “Abel…sort of…just walked me home.”
Lulu made a surprised, laughing sound. “Really? That’s interesting.”
“No, it’s not. I mean, he was just being nice, you know? I was by myself, and it was after dark. Charlie was with me and everything. It’s no big deal.”
“Excuse me, but it’s a huge deal,” she said.
“It was after dark,” Camilla protested. “And, you know, with how he handled that robber, I thought it couldn’t hurt to have a little protection with me.” Lulu gave her a skeptical look. “It was no different than having a dog with me.”
“Sure, okay. Fine as that man is and that was the only reason you let him walk you home.”
Camilla laughed. “Come on, Lulu. We didn’t get married or anything. It was just a walk home. I mean, all it means is that he’s chivalrous, right? He’s not a jerk. Only a jerk would let a woman walk home alone with her five-year-old after dark.”
“Uh-huh. And that’s all he did? Walk you home?”
Camilla gaped at her, her face now hot with embarrassment. “Lulu! What kind of woman do you think I am?”
“What? Oh, come on, Camilla. Don’t be such a prude!”
Camilla scoffed and crossed her arms. She was a little offended that Lulu would suggest such a thing.
“All I’m saying,” Lulu said, “is that there’s no shame in taking a lover. It’s not the nineteen-fifties, after all.”
“I know,” she responded, shifting in her seat uncomfortably. “It’s not…it’s not that, though. Well, not just that, anyway.”
The mood had shifted between them. Lulu dared a look at her. “It’s Carlos, right?” Camilla didn’t respond. “Camilla…you know, you can date again…right? It’s been almost three years since… well, since Carlos passed. He wouldn’t want you to spend the rest of your life alone. He’d want you to fall in love again eventually, right?”
Camilla shrugged. “I…I don’t know,” she said honestly. It had been three years, at least according to Lulu. It felt like considerably less time than that to Camilla. She could still remember the sound of Carlos’ voice and the smell of his cologne. The feel of his arms when he held her at night still felt like it was just a day away from that moment. Three years wasn’t quite long enough for her.
“You’re going to have to move forward with your life at some point,” Lulu said. “Carlos isn’t here anymore, but that doesn’t mean you’re gone too. You’re still alive, Camilla. So live.”
Camilla had no response to that. She sat with the statement as they drove along. You’re still alive…so live.
When they pulled into the parking lot, Camilla was surprised to see Abel standing outside by the door. He was in uniform, and his hair was combed back and out of his face and into a neat ponytail. He also looked like he’d shaved since the day before. His skin looked smooth and new compared to the light stubble he’d been sporting lately. Camilla couldn’t deny that this look was a vast improvement.
And Lulu could see it as well. She gave Camilla a knowing look, wiggling her eyebrows at her. “Well. You have a good day.”
“Shut up.” Camilla laughed as she got out of the car.
She walked up to the door, focusing on the keys in her hand. “Morning,” she said without looking at him. “You’re here early.”
“Yeah,” he said. She felt his eyes on her as she opened the lock on the door. Camilla suddenly felt silly in not looking directly at him. She glanced up and almost got caught in his stare. She looked away quickly.
“You look good,” she said as she opened the door.
“Thanks. I just thought I’d clean up a little this morning. You know, look professional for work.” She smiled as he rubbed his smooth jaw, causing Camilla to look away again. They walked into the restaurant, and as she locked the door behind her, she noticed he was just standing there, watching her.
“We should probably get to work,” she urged. He dug his hands into his pockets.
“Yeah, yeah,” he said, his eyes suddenly darting all over the place. “But, um, there’s another reason I came in early today.” He paused, and Camilla felt her mouth go dry with anticipation. “I was hoping that maybe if you weren’t doing anything…I could take you out sometime.”
She stared at him, partially in disbelief and partially in numb shock. “Um, take me out?” she asked. Her voice suddenly sounded tinny to her ears. “Like…on a date?”
“Yeah,” he chuckled. “Like on a date.”
She could hear her heart pounding as loudly as a drum in her ears, but she smiled involuntarily. She couldn’t help it. Terror was rocking her bones, and there she was, smiling like a fool in the face of it. “Well, I don’t know how appropriate that is.”
He shrugged. “We don’t have to broadcast it or anything. People can’t judge what’s appropriate or not if they don’t know about it.”
Camilla found herself suppressing a giggle. It was backward logic. “Abel, be serious.”
“I’m being serious,” he said. He was looking at her with his smoldering dark eyes. The air suddenly changed between them. Standing next to him was suddenly warm and inviting. Camilla was fighting the urge to stand just a little closer to him.
Lulu’s words came back to her. About living. About moving on with her life. She did feel stuck lately. Working all day, then home at night and to sleep, just to do it all over again. If she was being completely honest, she missed having someone in her life. Someone other than Lulu. Someone she could talk to late at night. Someone who might be there for her in ways that a friend couldn’t.
And here was someone. Probably the most unlikely person of anyone she’d ever known.
“Okay,” she said. The word came out almost involuntarily. His eyebrows raised a little, and he tilted his head toward her as if he hadn’t heard her.
“Okay?” he repeated.
She nodded. “Yeah. Okay. I’ll go out with you.”
His mouth widened into a big smile. It lit his entire face up and made Camilla’s stomach do flip-flops. “Great,” he said. “Um, how about this Sunday?”
“Oh,” she said, a sinking feeling coming over her. Her time was split pretty evenly between her son and the restaurant. The restaurant was closed on Sundays, which was usually her day to go to church and to spend with Charlie.
“Sunday?”
“Yeah,” he responded. “Restaurant’s not open, so…”
“I…I don’t really go out on Sundays. I mean, since I work six days a week, I’m usually at church, and then there’s Charlie—”
“So we can go somewhere after church. And as for Charlie…well, just bring him along.”
“Bring him along?” She looked at him skeptically, and he laughed.
“Yeah, I mean, why not? He seems to like me anyway.”
She smiled back at him, and a strangely cool wave of relief overcame her. “Okay, that sounds good. Sunday.”
They opened the restaurant and worked without saying another word about it for that day and the rest of the week. Of course, that didn’t mean that it wasn’t on Camilla’s mind. She watched him from the corners of her eyes all week, trying to conceal her interest in him. And he worked the way he always had, just a little left of her center in terms of pizza making. She’d avoided correcting him now, partially because there didn’t seem to be any point. He always kind of did things his own way.
Every night, Abel would clean until his brother came to pick him up, which only happened about half the time. The other half, Abel, just walked back home on his own. That part was a little concerning to Camilla, but then, she thought, it wasn’t like he couldn’t take care of himself. Every morning after, he showed up, clean cut, his hair tied back, and a smile for her as she opened up the restaurant.
On the Friday before their date, Rafael showed up a little early to pick up Abel. The rest of the crew was clocked out and on their way home, and Abel was still mopping the floors in back. Camilla greeted him as he walked in and thought briefly about how similar the brothers looked. Rafael was older by a couple of years, and it showed in his graying hair and the lines on his face. But they had the same soft brown eyes. Even similar builds, though Rafael was a little taller. He also looked harder somehow. His jaw was more set, and the stoic look on his face appeared much more natural than when he smiled. It was odd to Camilla since his brother had been the one to go to prison.
“Hey,” she said as he walked in. “He’ll be out in a second. He’s still cleaning.”
He smiled. “That’s great,” he said. “I’m glad to hear he’s doing so well.”
She nodded, and Rafael stood there awkwardly for a moment. “So…you have something going on for the weekend?”
Camilla smiled, thinking of Abel. “Yeah, yeah. Actually, Abel and I are going out.”
Rafael’s smile faltered a little. “You don’t say. I didn’t know you two were getting along that well.”
She shrugged. “It’s just the park. We’re taking Charlie there.”
He nodded. Something was different in his face suddenly. It was slight, almost undetectable. He was still smiling, but the shine in his eyes had dulled a little. Camilla started to wonder if she’d said something wrong, but then he said with all the earnestness of a supportive brother, “That’s great. Abel needs to get out there, you know? Have a nice normal life.”
“Agreed,” she said. “And me, too, for that matter. It’s been a while since I’ve done anything except work and take care of Charlie.”
Just then, Abel came walking out, shrugging into his jacket. His eyes jumped from Camilla to Rafael for a second, maybe sensing the oddness that she was also sensing.
“Ready to go?” asked Rafael.
“Yup,” Abel said. He turned to Camilla, walking backward as he followed his brother out the door. “See you, boss.” He winked, and Camilla’s heart fluttered.
When Sunday came, he showed up at her doorstep right on time wearing a casual T-shirt and jeans. She’d decided to wear her yellow sundress with a light jacket. It was warm but not quite at the height of summertime just yet. When she opened the door, he paused, his eyes widening slightly.
“Wow,” he said. “You look great.”
She touched the edge of her medium-length hair self-consciously. She’d styled it so that it curled up at her shoulders. “Thanks.”
Charlie ran up behind her and stuck his head out from behind her. His eyes widened, and she squeaked in five-year-old joy, “Abel!”
“Hey, kid,” he said, bending down toward him. “You ready to go to the park?”
“Yeah!”
“All right.” He put an arm out to Camilla charmingly, and she hooked hers in it. Then, with a smile, the three of them left for the park. On the way, Charlie was delighted. He bounced between them, talking about his morning at Sunday school and remarking about one of the teachers and the way she styled her hair.
“It’s just really big,” he said when Abel asked about it. “Like big and yellow like…like a beachball.”
“Wow,” said Abel with a chuckle. “A beachball? On her head? That must be something.”
Charlie nodded happily. “It’s really something.”
“Ms. Gibbons is a very interesting woman,” giggled Camilla. “She really believes that the higher the hair is, the closer to God you are.”
“Huh?” said Charlie.
Camilla and Abel laughed. “Probably shouldn’t repeat that at Sunday school, champ,” said Abel.
When they got to the park, they found it buzzing with activities. It was such a nice Sunday, and everyone in the neighborhood seemed to have had the same idea. They walked along the beaten trail, noting the scores of parents with babies in strollers and toddlers walking on unsteady legs next to their parents. The wind picked up and tossed Camilla’s hair around as they rounded the bend toward the basketball court. She happened to look up just in time to see Abel looking down at her, a strange smile on his face as she pushed her hair out of her eyes.
“What?” she asked, and his smile broadened a little. The breeze came back and pulled another tuft of hair back into her face. Abel reached over and pushed it back, tucking it behind her ear. She felt her face flush again as he touched her. His hands were remarkably soft for someone who worked with a hot oven all day, every day.
“Nothing,” he said. “You just look really good today.”
“Thank you.” She looked at him with his T-shirt and jeans, his biceps swelling against the sleeves. He didn’t look too bad, either.
They reached the playset in the center of the park. There were scores of kids around Charlie’s age jumping off parts of the jungle gym and running along the bridged portions linking them together. Charlie’s eyes got as large as saucers. He looked up at his mother for a second as if he’d meant to ask her if he could go play. The excitement got the better of him, however, and before either of them realized it, he was running for the swings with complete abandon. Camilla almost took off after him, but Abel stopped her with a hand on her shoulder.
“He’s fine. We can see him from here.” He nodded toward a park bench nearby. They sat and watched Charlie as he leaped onto the nearest swing and started swaying back and forth merrily.
“That’s a great son you’ve got there,” said Abel. He slid his hand over to hers, holding it. Camilla felt her breath catch a little and focused on steadying the beating of her heart. She laced her fingers with his, gently squeezing his hand.
“Thank you,” she said.
“This is okay, right?” he asked. “I mean, it’s not like a fancy French restaurant or whatever, but—”
She chuckled. “I spend almost every day of my life in a restaurant. It’s nice to be someplace where I can see the sun instead.”
“I’m glad,” he responded. “I know how it is when you have a little one to think about.”
She raised an eyebrow. “Do…you have any little ones?”
He snorted. “I was a kid when I went in.” She continued to look at him expectantly. “No,” he said. “No little ones. But Rafael and I were still teenagers when our grandmother passed, so…it was kind of on him to look out for me. Meant he couldn’t hang out like he wanted to, you know?”
She smiled and found herself naturally scooting a little closer to him. “Charlie likes you,” she said. “You kind of had me at hello in that way.”
“Oh? So you might’ve said no if he didn’t like me?”
“I mean, there’s a good chance, yeah,” she said. “If you’re really considering being with me, he’s a part of the whole package.”
He responded with a nod. “That’s fair.”
They fell silent for a moment as Camilla realized that she wanted to ask him about any other girlfriends or dates he’d been on and then remembered that there probably weren’t too many.
“You know,” he said with a chuckle, “the last date I went on, I had a curfew. This is really a different experience for me.”
“What do you think so far? Just sitting on a bench watching a small child play on the swings.”
He looked down at her with a crooked smile. “As experiences go, this isn’t too bad.” He squeezed her hand, and she leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder. The air was crisp and the sound of children laughing filled the air. It wasn’t Paris or a fancy restaurant, but it was nice, and Camilla didn’t want it to end.
After a while, Abel spotted an ice cream truck rolling past slowly on the street. It was far enough away to almost not be noticed, but she imagined that wouldn’t last long with a park full of children. “Oh, no,” said Camilla said with a sigh. “Not the ice cream man.”
Abel smirked. “It’s just one ice cream,” he said. “Are you really going to say no when it comes around?”
Normally, the answer would be yes. Charlie wasn’t allowed to have too much sugar, after all. She paused, thinking of what a nice day it had been so far, and finally said, “I guess not. This one time won’t hurt.”
She watched it thoughtfully as if she was waiting for a coming storm of a child army rushing toward the little white truck.
“So,” he said, breaking the moment of silence between them, “you went to Mulholland.”
“Yup,” she said, a little happy for the distraction. “For a semester.”
“For a semester. That means you lived in this neighborhood when you were a kid.”
“Yeah, I did. My dad owned the restaurant back then.”
He raised his eyebrows. “Really?” She nodded. “I didn’t know that.”
“I didn’t think you would. The restaurant was completely different back then. It was smaller, and it served more Italian food. Not just pizza.”
“Huh,” he said, his brow creasing. “I don’t know if I remember an Italian restaurant around here when I was a kid.”
Camilla shrugged. “You probably never went there,” she said. “The restaurant didn’t do that well. My father could do a lot of things, but running a restaurant…” She sighed, the memory of how the restaurant had looked then coming back to her. Dirty floors and walls, bad food and roaches, empty chairs in the dining room… It was a tragic place for her as a child.
“He just didn’t have a talent for that sort of thing,” she said. “To make matters worse, he, uh, he had a little bit of a gambling problem. It’s why my mom left him. Well, one of the reasons, anyway.”
Abel nodded in understanding. “I can relate. Rafael had the same problem, you know.”
She did know. Rafael had talked about his gambling days off and on in vague terms, never mentioning anything too specific. She never prodded him about it either. Camilla always chalked it up to him wanting to spare her the horrors of a bad time in his life.
“Yeah,” she said. “He’s told me that he was kind of on the bad side of the law for a while there.”
Abel’s eyes got far away. He bit down on his lip, the memory of his youth playing out in front of him. “Raf didn’t exactly have the best role models. He used to run gambling rings out of our basement when I was a teenager, like craps and poker and stuff like that. Made a lot of money doing it, but…yeah… More than a few nights were way too dangerous for a kid to be around.”
“Well, at least he’s still here. He’s a lot luckier than my dad,” she said. She paused, wondering if she wanted to talk about her father’s grim fate on such a beautiful day. “I don’t know everything that happened. My mom never told me the entire story. But apparently, at a certain point, his gambling got so out of control that he couldn’t take care of me anymore. So…yeah. That’s when I went to live with my mother.”
Abel’s face got serious. “You didn’t go with your mom when they got divorced?”
She shook her head. “Nope. I loved my dad. I wanted to be with him.”
He didn’t say anything. His hand was still in hers, but it was stiff now as if he was suddenly preoccupied with something. “What happened to your dad?”
Camilla sighed. “Well, after I was gone, I guess he just got worse and worse. Eventually, he was shot during a poker game with some gangbangers. I don’t know the specifics, really. Just that he was gambling with the wrong people, and some kid shot him because they said he was cheating.”
She happened to look over at him. He looked a little pale, and his hand suddenly felt very clammy. He looked down at his shoes for a moment, then back up at her. “Some kid?”
“Mom always said that it was some kind of gang thing. Maybe an initiation or something. Anyway, after Dad died, the restaurant closed, and it stayed that way for years. After I got married, my mom finally decided that she was going to sell it, but I convinced her not to. I wanted to have something of my father now that he was gone.” She thought about her happier memories of her dad. The way he’d laughed with her and told terrible jokes. Most importantly, she thought about how he’d looked at the crumbling restaurant as his way out of the poorhouse. He always had hope for the old place.
“It wasn’t all bad between us,” she said aloud. “I mean, father and daughter relationships can be complicated, you know?” Abel didn’t respond. She looked at him and noticed he looked a little green around the gills. Camilla put a hand on his shoulder. “Are you okay?”
He smiled, but it looked forced. “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. Feeling a little queasy is all.”
“Oh. Oh, no.”
“Your father,” he said, turning around to face me. “His last name was Nunez? I mean…”
“That’s my married name,” she said with a giggle. “I never changed it back, I guess. Never thought to. His name was Santiago.” He was getting even greener. He looked away from her, pulling his hand out of hers. “Hey…are you okay?”
“Not really,” he said. “Listen, do you mind if we cut this short? I’m kind of feeling really bad here.”
“No, I don’t mind. I’ll get Charlie—”
“No, no. You stay. In fact”—he reached into his pockets and pulled out a five dollar bill—“get him some ice cream on me. I don’t want to pull Charlie away so soon. He’s having fun. I’ll head out and call you later, okay?”
She nodded, and he left quickly, standing up and practically running out of the park. Camilla watched him go, a little bit confused. He was clearly not feeling well, but she couldn’t help feeling like, somehow, it was something she’d said.
“Mommy!” Charlie came running up to her. “Where’d Abel go?”
She smiled at him. “He wasn’t feeling well, honey,” she said. She looked at the folded five dollars in her hand thoughtfully. “Do you want some ice cream?”
He jumped up and down happily. “Yeah!”
“She’s not going to put it together because you’re never going to tell her why you went to prison,” he said. “Listen, this isn’t a problem unless you make it a problem, okay?”
Abel swallowed. The event that had changed both of their lives, that Abel was sure was in his past now that he’d done the time—the event that he’d replayed over and over since it happened…
He’d woken up to yelling. All Abel knew then was that Rafael liked to have poker games with his friends sometimes, and on those nights, his job was to stay out of sight. It didn’t matter to Rafael where he went, but he had to stay away from the basement until morning. It just so happened that night Abel went to bed early because he had a test the next day.
Yelling from the basement pulled him out of a deep sleep. Abel remembered lying there while it went on and debated just putting a pillow over his head and going back to sleep. It had gone on so long, though, that eventually, against his better judgment, he went to see what was happening.
He walked down the stairs to the basement only to see his brother yelling at one of his guests, a man that he knew about but had never really seen before. He was older and a little overweight, and he didn’t fit in at all with Rafael’s friends, who were all young gangbangers from around the neighborhood.
“No way you’ve got four aces,” Rafael was saying. “You got a lot of nerve coming into my house trying to cheat me out of my money!”
His boys were trying to calm him down. One of them was saying, “It’s no big deal, man. I’ll pay you the money.”
Rafael slapped his hand on the table. “That’s not the point!” He flipped the table over, pulled out his gun, and then trained it on the older man. The older man put his hands up fearfully. “Wait, wait! Don’t shoot! Don’t shoot!”
“I don’t play with cheaters,” was all Rafael had to say before he fired the gun.
Abel had never seen anyone shot before. The memory of the man falling back out of his chair and the sound of his body hitting the floor replayed over and over in his mind every night since. He wished he’d never seen it happen.
And afterward, once Rafael realized that his little brother had seen everything, he pulled him to the side and told him that everything was going to be okay. He told him not to worry. Nobody was going to come for him. The guy was a nobody with a restaurant that nobody ever went to. Nobody would miss him.
Only somebody did. And the cops did come. Abel imagined himself being taken into foster care after his brother went to jail. He was only sixteen, after all. When he told Rafael that he was scared, Rafael convinced him that there was a better way. Abel would say that he did it. And since he was just a kid, he’d get maybe a year or so in juvie and be back home in time to graduate high school. Abel was just a kid, and nobody was going to send a kid to an adult jail.
But that’s not what happened. Abel confessed to the crime and was arrested. When he had to stand before the judge, he found himself looking at fifteen years in a real prison. Abel remembered standing there in court, terrified but keeping it off his face. He was doing this for his brother, he kept telling himself. For his brother…
Good, bad, fair, or unfair, the whole thing was supposed to be behind them now. He’d done the time, and he’d even gotten out early. His debt was supposed to be paid.
“I have to tell her,” he said, shaking his head sadly. “I can’t keep this from her.”
“Oh, yes, you can,” Rafael said.
“Raf, come on—”
“Abel, you will not tell Camilla what happened, okay? Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever. In fact, you’re going to break it off with her.”
Abel was too stunned to speak. Rafael went on. “Look, the man died ten years ago. We can’t take that back. What do you think she’s going to do when you do tell her? You think she’s going to forgive you for protecting the guy that killed her father?”
The thought of Camilla turning on him didn’t settle well with him. They were just starting to get along. Things were just starting to go so well…
“Do it tomorrow,” Rafael said. “Do it fast and clean. Tell her you’re just not ready for a relationship.” He walked over to him and put his hands on his shoulders. “This is for the best. Trust me.”
It was. As much as Abel hated to admit it, Camilla couldn’t know.
***
Abel didn’t sleep all night. His mind just kept trying to spin ways that he could gently break it off with Camilla. The thoughts conflicted with their one day together and how good her hand had felt in his and the sweet, lavender smell of her hair as she’d rested her head on his shoulder. How natural it had been for them to sit on the park bench and watch Charlie playing. It was as though they were meant to be there together.
It so happened that his shift started a little later in the morning. Abel wasted no time, however. He arrived at work around fifteen minutes before his shift. Camilla happened to be at the register with one of the cashiers when he walked in. She spotted him almost immediately and smiled pleasantly. “See how good it is to be on time, Mr. Delgado?”
She’d said it playfully, walking up to him and nudging him like a colleague. It felt good. Completely different than when he’d first started.
“Yeah,” he said. “Hey, listen, can we talk for a minute? In private?”
“Sure,” she said. “Let’s go into my office.”
He walked behind her to her office, his mind spinning the story that he was going to tell. How would this go? Would she accept it? Would she fire him? She couldn’t fire him for rejecting her…right? That wasn’t legal. Still, legal or not, how was he supposed to keep working there with her after he said what he had to say?
His anxiety started to reach its peak when he walked into her office. She smiled up at him as she closed the door behind him. “How are you feeling?”
Abel had momentarily forgotten about the date and the fact that he’d said he was sick. “Fine,” he said quickly. “Yeah, I’m…I’m fine.”
“That’s good. I hadn’t heard from you. I was worried for a second.”
She looked beautiful, even in the cruddy fluorescent lights of her office among the staplers and file folders. She leaned against the desk, her uniform fitting her body and her curves perfectly, her blue eyes sparkling. Today, her hair was back up in a bun the way it usually was when she was at work, but somehow she didn’t look anything like the pinched-face librarian that he’d first met. “So what’s up?”
He took a deep breath. There was no other way to do it but to do it, he thought. “I, um, the date yesterday was…it was nice—”
“It was,” she said with a smile. “Really nice.” She walked up to him and took his hands. Her gentle touch sent shivers up his spine. “I was hoping we could go on another date sometime soon.”
He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He looked down at her hands, the regret weighing him down. “Camilla,” he said softly. She moved closer to him, and suddenly he could smell the sweet scent of her hair. Lavender again. Had she always smelled this way? he wondered. He had certainly never noticed it until now. Now he didn’t think he’d ever forget it.
She moved so close to him that they were almost nose to nose, her blue eyes mesmerizing him. He smiled nervously, his heart beating so loudly he could swear that she heard it, too.
“I know this is forward,” she said, looking coyly back down at her hands, “but…we didn’t have a lot of time together yesterday and…I wanted to make it clear to you how I feel about us getting closer.”
She looked into his eyes, and he melted. Whatever he wanted to say to her emptied out of his mind in an instant. He was being pulled in, and it felt like he was stuck in a whirlpool. But it was one that he could get out of. All he had to do was step away. Just step back and tell her…tell her…
Tell her what again?He couldn’t think. Looking at her in that moment, she was all he wanted.
“I want that, too,” he said softly. “But I…” He closed his eyes, breaking the spell for a moment. It was just long enough for him to remember why he’d asked to speak with her. He pulled away, turning his back on her to get himself together.
“Abel?” she asked, her voice thick with concern. “What’s wrong?”
He took a moment and took a deep breath to shake away his nerves. “Camilla,” he said. “There’s something I need to say to you.”
She didn’t speak. He turned around to face her again and saw that she was looking at him with large, worried eyes. With every second, this felt like the biggest mistake of his life.
“Listen—”
“Stop,” she said. “I don’t want to know.”
It was as though a record had scratched in his mind. The brakes had been put on in what little momentum he had and he was stuck. “Wh-what?”
“I don’t want to know what you did,” she said, her voice soft. “That’s what this is about, isn’t it?”
It was. Sort of. He didn’t know how to say that, though. She stepped up to him again until her hands were resting on his chest.
“You did your time,” she said. “Ten years. You lost an entire decade and a big part of your youth. There’s no reason you need to keep paying for it.”
She’d rendered him completely speechless. He just stood there, wrapped in her sweet scent, lost in her crystal blue eyes.
“This job and this time is supposed to be yours to start fresh. So…let’s do that together. I don’t want to know, so…you don’t need to tell me.”
She smiled up at him, the pink in her full lips tempting him. Then, without warning, she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him. The soft, sweet taste of her lips pulled him in. Her hands pressed against his chest for a moment, then slowly traveled upward, gently touching his face and running through his hair. Abel fell into her, embracing her and wrapping his arms around her waist. As he pulled her close, his body buzzed with passion.
The kiss was like nothing he’d ever felt. He’d kissed girls before when he was young. He’d even had the opportunity to sleep with a couple of them. Nothing had felt like this before. Abel’s heart beat in time with hers as his hands found the small of her back. He breathed in her air and savored the taste of her lips.
When they parted, it was entirely too soon. She pulled him down so that their foreheads were pressing together. He closed his eyes, the feeling of her lips still with him. He smiled and said softly, “Wow.”
“Yeah,” she said with a giggle.
They stood in each other’s arms for a moment, enjoying each other’s warmth. Finally, she said, “This can be good. For both of us. I want this to be good.”
He smiled. “It will be.” It occurred to him that this was the solution. She didn’t want to know, so now, he didn’t have to tell her. It was a better plan of action than he could have hoped for.
“Do you dance?”
Abel opened his eyes and pulled back from her. “Um…what?”
She smiled. “Do you dance? Do you know how?”
He didn’t know whether she was serious or not. “I…can dance, yeah. I haven’t in a long time.”
“I want to go out dancing with you.”
Now he was laughing. “Where is this coming from?”
She shrugged. “I haven’t danced in a long time either. I used to go at least every other weekend when my husband was still alive, but…” She pulled away, letting her arms drop down to Abel’s chest again. “When the restaurant was doing better, we started going out every month, and then when he got sick…well, I haven’t been and I want to go again, so…do you want to go dancing with me on Saturday?”
Abel started to wonder where the uptight version of her had gone. “And what about this place? Who’s going to mind the store while we’re kicking up our heels?”
“We can go after work,” she said. “It just so happens that I know a place that’ll be open after we close up here.” She pulled away from him, then went to her desk and looked over the calendar in her blotter. “There’s nothing big happening in town, so it won’t even be any busier around here than usual. What do you say?”
Abel playfully tilted his head back and forth before saying. “Okay. Sounds like fun.”
He walked over to her and took her in his arms, kissing her again. Gentle kisses stirred up a warmth within him. He could spend his life kissing her. Afterward, he just smiled at her, a glow started to radiate around her.
“I’d better get back to work,” he said.
“Yeah, I should say so.”
He left the office, his happiness chasing away the blues inside of him. Rafael was wrong. He could have Camilla and keep everything moving forward. It was like she said. This was