37. Walker
Walker
“ T hey called to check on my progress,” I tell Phoenix once I hang up the phone.
“I guess they’re very aware that I’m getting close to being able to get back on a horse and wanted to make sure I was planning to get back in the ring as soon as possible.
They also want me to make an appearance at the rodeo in Cheyenne next week.
They’re offering to fly me up there to sign autographs and shit.
They feel like we’re losing too much press to Jackson White, and they want people to see my face again. ”
“Walker, we need to figure out when to tell them,” Phoenix says.
“I don’t understand why we have to tell them at all. Heterosexual cowboys don’t have to announce every person they’re fucking,” I argue. I honestly don’t care if people know I’m gay, and I’m elated that they’ll know I’m with Phoenix, but fuck it feels intrusive.
Phoenix places his hand on my hip. “We need to tell them because they pay you. It’s also potentially a conflict of interest since I’m now your coach.
And we don’t want them to find out about it from some picture of you jumping into my arms and me shoving my tongue down your throat that goes viral after your first win next season,” he says rationally.
I reach for the belt loops on his jeans and pull him closer to me. “Will you come with me?” I murmur against his lips.
He smiles. “You really think after almost knocking Kevin’s teeth out in the front yard that I’m going to be cool with you prancing around Wyoming in these jeans, signing everything from dudes’ boxers to chicks’ tits?
Nah, you know I’m coming. Besides, you know at least half those people will want my autograph too,” he adds playfully.
I chuckle. “Always gotta steal my thunder, don’t you, Harding?”
“Says the man with six rodeo championships under his belt,” Phoenix replies, making me wince.
I don’t think he’s aware of it, but there’s a note of loss in his voice. He could have had more than six. And we both know I’m the reason he doesn’t. I can’t help but wonder if that will haunt us our entire relationship…and if it does, is it survivable?
I choose to make a joke, not yet ready to dive into that conversation. “Motherfucker, did you just say I prance? ” I try to ball-tap him, but he sees it coming and moves out of the way, laughing.
His laugh sets my mind at ease. Maybe I’m reading too much into it.
Before I can get any deeper down this rabbit hole, there’s a knock on the front door.
The second interview is quicker than the first, mostly because I think Phoenix already made his mind up about Kevin, but also, there’s a storm rolling in so we really don’t have time to waste. We need to get the horses in the barn stat and herd the chickens back to their coop.
We’re ushering the last horse in his stall when the bottom falls out of the sky.
It’s closing in on five o’clock and we’re drenched by the time we get back to the house.
Phoenix takes his shirt back off and follows suit with his jeans—presumably so he doesn’t track mud through the house.
Wanting to be considerate, I do the same thing, letting my wet clothes land with a plop on the rug inside the front door.
“Hand those to me,” Phoenix says, pointing at the pile. “I’ll go start them with mine.” Phoenix doing domestic shit is honestly so fucking hot. Then again, he’s hot while he’s driving, working on the farm, breathing.
I gather the clothes and lay them on top of the clothes he’s already got in his arms. “I’ll get dinner started,” I tell him. The laundry room is right off the kitchen next to the back door, and I smack his ass on our way.
As I’m preparing dinner, Phoenix’s cell phone rings on the counter and shows an incoming call from Cassie. I slide the button on the screen.
“Hey, Cassie!” I announce excitedly.
“ Phoenix Nicholas Harding !” she yells.
“Oh, uh, hang on, he’s starting the laundry,” I tell her, walking the phone to Phoe. “Here, baby, I think she wants to um, talk to you.”
“ Baby? ” Cassie says over the line. “Oh, hell no. I’m calling on FaceTime and you better answer the fucking call, Phoenix!”
Immediately the robotic ring hits our ears. Without stopping to think that we’re just in our underwear, Phoenix slides the button.
“Cass, what’s wro?—”
“Don’t you Cass me! I find out from Dylan, a week later, that you almost died in a fire and, ” her eyes flit between me and Phoenix as she takes in our bare chests, “you’re sleeping with Walker? I hate being out of the loop. I cannot wait to move back home…specifically so I can kick your as s.”
She pauses to take a breath and Phoenix apologizes through the grin he’s trying to hide.
“Cass, I’m sorry I haven’t called. Walker showed up at the fire station the night of the fire because I hadn’t come home, and I told him I loved him, and then things got… ahem. ” He coughs to clear his throat. “Well, they got a little heated and I’ve been?—”
“Dicking him down ever since?” she offers.
“Pretty much, yeah,” I respond, my smile on full display as I slide a hand up Phoenix’s chest and neck until I get to his chin and turn his face toward me so I can tongue-fuck him.
“ Ugh .” She sighs dramatically. “No fair. You know watching hot gay guys kiss is the fastest way to deactivate my anger.” I keep kissing Phoenix mostly because I’m lost in the way his smooth lips slide over mine and how his tongue feels, wrestling my own.
Finally, I hear Cassie’s voice again. “Okay, okay, I get it. God, you guys are worse than Jake and Dylan.”
Chuckling, Phoenix pulls away and swats my ass this time.
“Finish dinner,” he says playfully before taking a seat on the barstool, continuing his conversation with Cassie.
By the time they get off the phone, we’ve deduced that things with Miguel are going great, Cassie’s dad, Charlie, is flying down to meet him next month, they’ve even talked about moving back to North Carolina together, and the medical practice that Hudson’s wife, Shannon, works at may offer Cassie a job as an interpreter.
The good news, added to our own happiness, keeps our spirits high and before we know it, we’re packing our bags for the rodeo in Cheyenne.
“Walker! That you? What are you doing up here?” Jonas’s voice catches me off guard.
I’m not sure why though, since I know Jackson is competing here this weekend.
Jonas pulls me in for a hug as if there isn’t bad blood between us, and Phoenix bristles at my side.
People have been watching me since I arrived, and Jonas is clearly taking advantage of the situation to make it look like we’re still on good terms.
I fight the urge to grab Phoenix’s hand. In our cocoon of the house, the farm, and our accepting friends, I stupidly hadn’t realized how hard it would be to hide my love for Phoenix around this crowd.
I don’t want to hide my love for Phoenix in any crowd. But he’s right, we need to tell my sponsors first, and we need to do it before Jonas does.
As soon as I have the thought, Jonas finally realizes Phoenix is next to me.
“Harding,” Jonas says in greeting. “Still trying to distract Walker, I see.”
I step slightly in front of Phoenix so he doesn’t punch Jonas’s lights out. Jonas may be huge, but Phoenix wouldn’t stop until the man was unconscious, of that, I’m certain.
“Jonas, considering you’re out here on my dad’s dime, I’d be careful how you talk to my friends.”
Jonas leans in close to me. “You fuck all your friends or just the washed-up ones?”
At this, Phoenix can’t stay quiet any longer, nor should he.
That was crossing a line. “You shut your goddamn mouth and stay the fuck away from him,” he snaps, grabbing my arm roughly.
Pushing me through the crowd, he talks in my ear, “We need to at least tell LXR since they’re your biggest sponsor, and we need to tell them now . ”
“I’m ready,” I say immediately, knowing it’s the truth.
Phoenix pulls up short and cuts down behind the practice ring. People can see us, but they can’t hear what we’re saying.
“There is no going back after this, Walker. When you come out, you’re out for good,” he says.
“That’s fine, Phoe. I’m gay. It’s not like that’s gonna change.”
He pinches the bridge of his nose. “I know that, but… fuck. I want to protect you and I don’t know how.
Jonas won’t be the only one with that disgusting reaction.
Your competitors will use it as ammunition against you.
They’ll mess with you, try to get in your head, and we both know how dangerous that can be. ”
I honestly hadn’t expected him to be the one freaking out. It’s kind of adorable. Gripping his shoulders, I make him look at me. “Do you love me?”
“You fucking know I do,” he growls.
“Do you see that changing in the near future?” I ask, hating that we’re having this conversation in public, at the side of a horse ring, but also recognizing that it’s pretty apropos for us.
“That’s never changing in any future,” Phoenix answers vehemently, making my heart swell.
“Then hear me when I say that I’m ready to tell the whole fucking world that I’m gay, you’re my boyfriend, and you’re my coach.
” He still looks like he wants to argue, so I say words that have needed to be said for a while now.
“Phoenix, I know you loved riding. I know you miss it every day. I know it’s my fault you can’t do it anymore.
And I know you think I’ll resent you if us going public causes the professional rodeo to turn its back on me.
But waking up every day, winning some new title or championship, doing a sport I love, would mean nothing … nothing if it means losing you again.”
Phoenix stares at me for a solid twenty seconds before he finally nods. “Then let’s tell the world we’re together and come what may.”
I smile and grab his hand, lacing our fingers, as we walk through the throng of cowboys and cowgirls to the LXR tent.