Chapter Fourteen
Jesse
Jesse slammed the door of his bedroom shut before Giuseppe could try to talk to him.
Leaning against it, he sank to the floor, tears spilling out of his eyes the moment he sat.
He’d hated every Goddamned second of that interaction with Arthur.
He hadn’t wanted to send Arthur home. He hadn’t wanted to tell him that there was no way for the two of them to reconcile.
But he couldn’t stomach the thought of putting himself in a position for Arthur to someday hurt him even worse than he was hurting now.
Had he let Arthur back into his life, he’d have spent the following weeks or months falling more and more in love with the man, only for Arthur Hughes to continue to snub him or insult him or otherwise make him feel small.
And each slight, each rejection of Jesse’s person, would have hurt that much more.
Giuseppe rapped his knuckles on the door. “Jess?” he said. “I told you that I’d shoo him away. Why’d you come out?”
Jesse shrugged even though he knew Giuseppe couldn’t see him.
After a moment, Giuseppe asked, “Do you want some lunch?”
Sniffling, Jesse sat up straighter. He cleared his throat. “I’m fine,” he said, his voice hoarse. “Thanks, Giuseppe.”
“Ah, well, I’m cooking something for myself anyway. I’ll make enough for two.”
Jesse smiled a little, but it fell away within two beats of his battered heart.
After Giuseppe left, Jesse shifted his weight and lay on the floorboards, relishing the way the cold hardwood felt through his thin linen shirt, if only because it provided him with something else to focus on for a little while.
Jesse continued to rest there in a state of half slumber, waves of upset occasionally crashing over him in between the minutes of peaceful reprieve, before Giuseppe eventually returned. Giuseppe knocked twice before setting something on the floor.
“Alright, I tried my best to make the corned beef and cabbage you like. I’m not sure if it’s terrible or not, mostly because it’s never not tasted like a bowl of salty, bitter swill to me, but it’s edible. At least, I had a bowl five minutes ago and I’m still standing, so that’s something.”
Jesse snorted a half-hearted laugh and sat up, warmth bubbling up in his chest and soothing some of his lingering heartache. After staggering to his feet, he took a breath and opened the door. Giuseppe was already walking back toward the kitchen.
He said, “I’ll clean up this time, too, but tomorrow morning, I’m sleeping late.”
With a roll of his eyes, Jesse picked up the bowl and took it to the kitchen. Once he sat, Giuseppe came over and squeezed his shoulder.
“Forget him, Jess,” Giuseppe said. “You’re worth more than every penny of his inheritance. And that spot he wants in the fair. He’s thick in the head if he can’t see that.”
Jesse smiled up at him, though the mention of Arthur had brought back a twinge of pain in his chest, one so sharp that Jesse had to fight back a wince.
“Thanks,” Jesse said with a nod.
Giuseppe nodded back and then turned to start cleaning. Jesse scooped up a heap of food with his spoon, and the moment the “salty, bitter swill” touched his tongue, he nearly spat it back into the bowl.
Laughing to himself, Jesse shook his head and sighed.
“Giuseppe?” he said.
“Yeah?”
“You’re officially the worst cook in Chicago.”
Giuseppe whipped the back of Jesse’s head with a rag, which only made Jesse laugh harder. Giuseppe chuckled to himself, too.
Joking with Giuseppe had eased the pain in Jesse’s heart a little more, enabling him to eat this pathetically inept version of his favorite meal that Giuseppe had served him. Giuseppe really was a terrible cook. But Jesse was Goddamned lucky to have him as a friend.
***
One week later, in the middle of the night, Jesse was lying awake, staring at the ceiling, his heart heavy from how things had ended with Arthur.
Every workday since ending things, Jesse had spent the entirety of his shift hoping that Arthur would walk into the shop to try to talk to him.
He couldn’t even be sure whether or not he’d have let him.
But that hadn’t stopped Jesse from hoping.
Despite everything, he missed Arthur. He couldn’t pretend that every minute he’d spent with the man over their short time together hadn’t been special.
Never in Jesse’s whole life had he experienced something like this.
He had taken months to feel comfortable around Percy.
Hell, it had taken Jesse several weeks to even like Percy beyond only thinking that the man was handsome.
But with Arthur, their connection had practically been instantaneous.
No matter how much Jesse had tried to fight his feelings in the beginning, he hadn’t been able to.
He couldn’t be sure whether it had been Arthur’s brazen flirtatiousness, his ridiculous personality, or his relentless charm that had caused him to fall for the man, but whichever it was, Jesse had fallen hard.
Jesse closed his eyes and sighed. Fuck, how he missed Arthur.
Every second with Arthur had felt like a lifetime’s worth of living.
Arthur’s enthusiasm for every Goddamned thing was so incredibly endearing.
His intoxicating personality had made Jesse feel so invigorated, so alive.
Having been close with Arthur, even for a short while, had been a little like experiencing immortality.
It was hard to believe that such a thing was over.
And now Jesse was starting to wonder whether the heartbreak and belittlement he’d surely suffer in the future should he take Arthur back might be worth enduring, if only for the opportunity to live a few thousand more lifetimes in Arthur’s embrace.