Chapter Twenty-One #4
Jesse nodded. “Yes. But I needed money for that. I needed to save up for my meals and for a place to stay. So, I started working at one of the corner stores in my neighborhood. Eventually, I saved up enough. Just enough. Neither of my parents liked the idea of me wasting both time and money to go to school, but I was stubborn about it. I wanted to escape our life. And I knew that I could make it out of our little neighborhood if I really tried. So, I enrolled.”
He frowned, his eyes falling back to the sheets, and he began tracing long lines on the fabric with the tip of his index finger. Arthur was waiting patiently for him to say more.
“I met Percy my first week there. Both of us were renting a room in a house near the college. Everyone had to rent back then. Regardless of their . . . wealth. Or lack thereof.”
Jesse swallowed, his muscles tensing as he prepared to tell Arthur how their relationship had come to an end. Arthur swept a hand through Jesse’s hair again, and Jesse closed his eyes for a moment to relish in the sweetness of it.
“Percy ended things during our second summer together. I, uhm, I tried to visit him one night. I thought it would be a welcome surprise, even to his parents. You know, one of your son’s schoolmates visiting .
. . It seemed . . . innocuous to me.” He lifted his eyes to meet Arthur’s, and the knot in his stomach tightened.
“But, obviously it wasn’t. Not to Percy.
Actually, I think it was the thing that helped Percy realize how unsafe our relationship was. ”
Arthur’s hand cupped Jesse’s cheek.
“Oh, my poor, sweet Jesse.”
Jesse smiled a bit. Even though he hated Arthur pitying him, he couldn’t help but love being the recipient of such tender care right now, as he lay his soul bare like this.
Jesse turned his head enough to kiss Arthur’s palm. Arthur smiled back a little.
And then Jesse’s smile faltered as he continued.
“Percy had only even enrolled at Illinois Industrial because he had been caught with a boy once. I think it was sort of a . . . punishment for him to attend a school that had people like me there. How embarrassing it must have been for him to have had to enroll in a school where the tuition was free because his parents no longer wanted to pay for Princeton. Meanwhile, for me, it was a blessing to have found such a place.” Envy flared to life in his chest, and he reflexively clenched his teeth, curling his lip in tandem.
But then Arthur stroked Jesse’s cheek with his thumb, and that flash of hatred faded.
He took a breath before continuing. “Percy was trying to regain his family’s trust, I believe, by making it through school without another, uhm, incident. But, well, he met me and . . .”
Jesse trailed off and shrugged, previously treasured memories of his time with Percy floating to the surface of his mind where they unearthed his barely buried heartbreak.
“Anyway, Percy eventually realized how much he could lose by being with me. Our relationship wouldn’t have been able to continue once we were both back in the city full-time.
Because we weren’t from the same world. He was Percy Verne, and I was .
. . no one. I wasn’t enough for him. Just like I wasn’t enough for my parents.
” Tears began to fall from Jesse’s eyes.
“So, uhm . . . if you think I’m not . . .
” Jesse paused to hold in an embarrassing sob that was threatening to burst forth. “If you think I’m not worth the risk—”
“What?” Arthur interrupted. “What are you talking about?”
“I mean, Percy seemed to have eventually come to that conclusion, so—”
“I’m not Percy.”
“No, you’re not. You’re Arthur Hughes.” More terrible, humiliating tears began to fall.
Arthur wiped them away with his thumb. “And I think I finally know what that means. Jesus, it took me long enough, but now I can finally see it. I can see how careful we have to be and how much you could lose because of our relationship. Good God, Arthur, it’s not even only about your investments or your businesses, either.
Or your parents’ money. You have a family. ”
Arthur continued to rub Jesse’s cheek with his thumb.
“Yes, that’s true. I have Emma to think of.
And Charlotte and Gertrude and Patrick, as well.
But, Jesse, I care about you. I’m never not thinking about you, too.
About when we’ll next be able to spend time together or how lucky we are to have a refuge here in your beautiful little home far from people who have enough leisure time to even consider bothering us.
I’m never not thinking about how wonderful you are or how badly I want to keep you. ”
Jesse’s mouth twitched, his lips curling to form a tiny smile.
“Keep me?” he asked.
Arthur’s face lit up.
“Yes, of course I want to keep you. Jesse, I love you. I could never leave you over something like the possibility that things might become harder for me in terms of either my inheritance or my reputation or even Emma’s future marriage prospects.
Goodness, the two of us are careful enough that nothing more horrible than those things should happen even if rumors were to circulate, especially since I have the means to help us start over someplace new posthaste.
And I know those potential consequences might sound horrible, but I would face them if need be.
I’d risk everything for you, my Jesse. I’d risk it in a heartbeat. ”
Jesse let out a small sob, and his face began to burn. Arthur resumed petting Jesse’s hair, running his fingers through it as a tear slipped from his eye, too.
“Oh, my sweet Jesse, I can’t believe you’ve been worrying about me leaving you.”
Jesse let out a shuddered breath. “Not as much lately. But then, when we saw Percy . . . Christ, Arthur, I still can’t help but feel like I’m not enough for you.”
“You’re enough for me Jesse. You’re more than enough.”
Arthur caught Jesse’s mouth in a kiss. When they parted, Jesse tipped forward, touching his forehead to Arthur’s.
“Do you promise?”
“I promise.”
“Do you really love me?”
“I really love you.”
Jesse let out a little sob-laugh. “Good. Because I love you, too.”
Their lips crashed together.
Over the next few minutes, they worked to remove each other’s clothes, their eyes still wet from tears, and once they were both naked, Jesse buried his face in Arthur’s neck and nuzzled his nose to Arthur’s skin, breathing in the wonderful scents of lavender and oak.
Arthur continued to hug him close, and then they began to kiss again.
Gently, Arthur pressed on Jesse’s shoulders, coaxing him onto his back.
Jesse pushed a hand through Arthur’s hair as Arthur began to kiss his neck.
Shutting his eyes, Jesse focused on the feel of Arthur’s featherlight kisses traveling southward, starting at his collarbone and then moving to his stomach.
Blood rushed to his cock, and by the time Arthur reached Jesse’s crotch, his member was completely engorged and throbbing with need.
Arthur swept his tongue over the tip, lapping up some of Jesse’s pre-ejaculate, and Jesse hitched a breath.
“Fuck,” he cursed under his breath, clutching Arthur’s hair.
Arthur hummed. He licked the head of Jesse’s cock once more. Jesse opened his eyes to see Arthur’s lips stretching over the head. He let out a little whimper-whine as Arthur took him into his mouth, the warmth sending a shiver up his spine.
“I love you,” Jesse repeated in a whisper. “God, fuck, I really love you, Arthur.”
Arthur smiled a little, letting out a hum laugh, but continued to work Jesse’s cock, bobbing his head as his hand pumped the base. Jesse moaned when Arthur’s tongue circled around the tip.
Arthur continued to pleasure him, taking Jesse closer and closer to release.
But Jesse lingered on the precipice, teetering there as Arthur’s mouth traveled the length of his shaft.
Arthur sat up on his knees a little, and Jesse could see that Arthur was stroking himself, too, his fist moving fast over his own length.
Jesse’s eyes stayed fixed on the sight, though he wished he had a better view.
Even more fervently, though, Jesse wished for Arthur’s praise.
He wanted to hear Arthur’s low, lovely voice telling him wonderful, beautiful things that he loved about him.
On so many other occasions like this one, Jesse would have kept this to himself.
He’d have been too ashamed to ask Arthur to change the way in which he was pleasuring him.
But now Jesse was feeling bolder, the truths that he had finally confessed empowering him to be honest about this, too.
“Arthur,” he rasped. He paused to muster his courage. “Can you come up here?”
Arthur released Jesse’s cock from his mouth, leaving a little trail of spittle behind.
“Of course,” he said, climbing up higher on the mattress. He settled next to Jesse and propped himself up on his elbow. “Did you want me to do something else?”
“I want you to stroke me,” Jesse said, his tone a little commanding. “I want you to stroke me while telling me how much you like me.”
“You want my praise, Jesse?” Arthur asked, a slight playfulness in his tone.
“Yes,” Jesse rasped as Arthur wrapped his hand around his cock.
Arthur began to stroke him, and Jesse whimpered. Arthur nuzzled the side of his face.
“Good boy,” he whispered.
“Fuck . . .”
“Look how beautiful you are,” Arthur purred softly into Jesse’s ear. “Are you close?”
Jesse nodded as his right thigh began to tremble.
Arthur let out a little hum-chuckle. “I can tell.”
Christ, that sound. It was maddening. Arrogant. Boastful. Jesse hated how much he loved it. He hated how much he wanted to hear it. Hated how much he wanted to please this ridiculous man.
Enraptured by the sound of Arthur’s irritating little laugh and the feel of Arthur’s silky-smooth hand working his cock, Jesse let out a moan as he fisted the sheets.
“You’re so perfect like this,” Arthur said, ratcheting Jesse’s pleasure even higher. “You’re so perfect always.”
Jesse bit down on his lip as Arthur’s complimentary words called forth another wave of pleasure, one that nearly sent him over the edge as warmth settled low in his belly.
“That’s it,” Arthur said. “Almost there.” He continued to pump his fist. Jesse’s sucked in a breath, his muscles tensing. “Oh, what a lovely, perfect thing you are.”
Crying out in pleasure, Jesse began to come. Arthur caught his mouth in a kiss, stroking Jesse through his orgasm.
Jesse’s mind was still muddled from bliss when Arthur brought his hand to his own cock and began to stroke himself.
“I’m close, too,” he rasped. “I’m . . . oh, God, I’m coming.”
Arthur’s cock started to pulse, shooting warm ejaculate onto the sheets, and Jesse pulled Arthur in for a kiss.
“I love you,” Jesse breathed when they parted.
“I love you too,” Arthur said, panting slightly. “You’re worth the risk for me, Jesse. Never, ever forget that.”
Jesse rubbed his nose on Arthur’s cheek and smiled as the stubble tickled his skin.
“I won’t.”