58. Camilla
CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT
CAMILLA
D espite how tired I was, I struggled to shut my eyes.
The bodies wrapped around mine did little to settle the anxiety rolling through my body, because while we won tonight, we might not be so lucky next time.
Crew slipped out of the room a little over an hour ago when he thought I was asleep, and I didn’t bother asking him to stay. He’s dealing with his own shit, and I can’t be selfish just because I almost lost them all tonight.
Kovu has slept fitfully since his head hit the pillow, and it’s so different from how he normally wraps himself around me like a boa constrictor around its next meal. Tonight was hard on all of us, but none more so than Kovu. I’m just glad I could end that asshole for him. I only wish he felt more pain. I wish he felt the same anguish Kovu has had to live with all these years.
He mumbles something, and his head whips to the side.
Bishop and Kaos are fast asleep on the opposite side of me, both on their backs, snoring with their arms thrown over their heads. We don’t fit in this bed in any way, but we’re making it work for tonight.
Maybe once all this is over, we can find a better solution.
I sigh, and my eyes drift closed. If I can’t fall asleep soon, I’m just going to get up. I need to check in with Luca and make sure everything was taken care of at the cemetery. I also want to ask Wyatt if he had any luck tracking the SUV Caleb and his men escaped in.
“You can’t hurt me anymore!” Kovu shouts, and my heart clenches for him. God, I would hate to think what he’s dreaming about, but there are just some things I can’t fix.
I’m about to roll to my side to coax him awake and reassure him when his eyes fly open. But the wild blue that stares back at me is different than normal.
Where Kovu usually looks at me like I’m the most precious thing in his world, right now he’s staring at me like he wants me dead.
Before I can take my next breath, he’s on me. His heavy weight presses me into the mattress before I can think to fight back, but I try anyway. I buck my hips to try to dislodge him, but he’s too big, and the combination of his weight and the soft mattress makes it impossible for me to get enough momentum to throw him off.
But it’s not until I feel the blade pressed to my throat that I pause and panic bubbles in my chest.
Kovu won’t hurt me. Kovu won’t hurt me. Kovu won’t hurt me. I repeat the words over and over again in my head, but as I stare up at the monster the rest of the world sees when they look at him, I’m not so sure.
Right now he’s not my Kovu, he’s the man who ruthlessly kills anyone who wrongs him or his family, and I’m frozen in place as he stares down at me.
“Never again,” he whispers, digging the blade in harder.
“Kovu,” I force out. “It’s me. It’s Camilla.” The words are strangled and panicked, but I keep my hands pinned to my side. I think he’s still asleep, even if his eyes are wide open, and I’ve heard waking someone who is sleepwalking can be really dangerous, so I’m not willing to try it with a knife held against my throat.
“What the fuck!” Kaos shouts from beside me as he scrambles up, ready to throw Kovu off me, but for some reason, I stop him.
“Don’t!” I force out, and he pauses. “He’s asleep. He won’t hurt me.”
The bed dips as Bishop comes to, and his intake of breath makes my heart clench. “Love,” he warns.
“It’s okay,” I whisper and take a steadying breath. “Kovu, come back to me.”
“Never again.” The blade presses harder against my neck, and I hiss out a breath of pain as the first drop of blood glides down my throat.
“Kovu, it’s your little lamb,” I tell him, letting my voice rise just a little. “Come back to me.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I notice Bishop holding Kaos back, his entire body wrapped around his cousin’s upper half.
“If you jostle them, he could slit her throat,” Bishop growls. “He’s unpredictable at the best of times, but right now? Right now, he could kill her with the slightest move.”
I glare at him out of the corner of my eye, but his gaze is locked on the knife at my throat, which makes sense.
I drag my bottom lip between my teeth to distract me from the tears that are gathering at the corners of my eyes. Bishop’s right. It would take almost nothing for my life to end right now, and I realize I’m not ready to die.
A year ago, I was. Not in the way you’re thinking. But I was ready to put my body and life on the line in any way necessary for my family business. I would have died a thousand times over to make sure I was the best heir I could be. But now the thought terrifies me. The idea of dying without getting to see where things go with my men has a nauseating sickness rolling through my belly.
“Kovu,” I whisper, hating the way my voice shakes under the fear of being pressed into the mattress like this because the man that’s holding me down isn’t the one I fell in love with, it’s the one he keeps hidden away, and I have no idea what he’s capable of.
“Bishop!” Kaos growls as the bed dips slightly, and the knife slices deeper into my throat making me hiss in pain.
“Stay still! Look what you did.” He nods at the blood trickling down my throat, and I watch as regret fills his eyes.
“He’s going to kill her!” Kaos yells.
“He won’t,” I say softly. “He won’t kill me.”
I’m not sure if I’m talking to him or myself, but either way, I have to believe the man I love won’t end my life like this. I have to believe that he’ll wake up before he can do something he regrets.
“I need you to wake up for me, Kovu. You’re safe here. You’re safe with us,” I say as evenly as I can manage despite the way my body trembles.
Some of the fog lifts from his violent blue eyes, and my stomach clenches.
“It’s me, big guy. It’s Camilla. It’s your little lamb.”
He stares down at me, and I see the exact moment he comes back to us. His eyes flick between my face and the knife pressed to my throat a few times before his entire body stills. His heavy breaths catch in his throat. His trembling body stills. And the knife at my throat remains there.
“Fuck,” he chokes out.
“It’s okay,” I whisper. “I’m okay. Tell me what you need.”
He drops the knife from my throat, and the tension falls away from me. At the same time, I hear Bishop release Kaos.
The blade falls to the bed beside us, meaning I’m still not totally out of the woods yet, but the fact I’m no longer on the brink of having my throat slit allows me to breathe easier.
“What do you need, Kovu?” I ask again, my voice a little more even this time.
“You,” he murmurs.
My heart flutters in my chest, and a small smile tips up the corners of my lips despite how fucked up the situation we’ve found ourselves in is. “You have me. For as long as you want me. Always.”
He flicks his gaze toward Bishop and Kaos, who are still lurking at the edge of the mattress, ready to take him down if they need to, but they won’t. He’s back, and he’s not going to hurt me. Not in a way I don’t like, at least.
When his eyes settle back on my face, there’s something dark behind his gaze that makes my stomach do a flip, but not because I’m nervous.
I know that look, and I can’t wait to see what he’s got in store for me. My entire body tingles from the adrenaline that was beating through me just moments ago.
“On your hands and knees, Little Lamb. I’m going to fuck you while they watch, and then we’re going to cover you in our cum.”