Chapter 9
GRANT WAS asleep when Willy checked on him. He carefully took his temperature, relieved that it was going down. The dogs watched him from their nest at the foot of the bed, and both followed him out of the room and back to the kitchen.
“Maybe I should just go. I don’t want to be in your way, and….”
“You aren’t,” Willy assured him.
Kevin knitted his eyebrows together. “Then what was all that earlier?” His voice held a slight icy chill.
“I just don’t want you to feel trapped by all this.
It’s a lot, and you’re a nice guy and the kind of person who would stick around because you felt like you should, or something.
And I want you to understand that I get it.
This is a lot—we tend to be a lot—and….” God, he was rambling like some kind of idiot.
“Are you freaking out on me?” Kevin asked.
Willy shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe I am a little. After last night, things were… well, they were….” He felt his cheeks heating. “They were magical, but today reality came crashing back in, and I guess I figured that it might be too much. So I….”
“So you figured that if you gave me the little speech about being able to leave that it might soften the blow if that was what I wanted to do?” He shook his head. “That’s kind of messed up.”
“No, it isn’t,” he said with more force than he intended.
“This is my life. Sick kids, daycare, diapers, you name it. It’s all part of my life, and it will be for a long time to come.
It doesn’t come to an end. All it does is change over time.
And I just don’t want you to think that you have to stick around unless it’s something you want to do.
I’ll understand if it’s too much because there are days when it seems like it’s too much for me. That’s all.”
Kevin seemed confused, tilting his head slightly. “You keep saying the same thing as though it’s going to make more sense the next time through. I’m still not sure what you want.”
Willy set down his mug. “I’m saying that what I want doesn’t matter.
It’s what you want that counts. And I’ll understand if all this”—he waved his hand around the kitchen with the Legos under the kickplate and plastic food in a cart in the corner—“doesn’t fit into the picture of how you want your life to be. ”
“How about you let me worry about how my life is supposed to be? You seem so concerned about what I want and what I think my life should look like, but I’m more than capable of doing that for myself.
So don’t worry about it, okay?” He stood and lightly kissed Willy on the head.
Then he got some bowls and gave the dogs their morning food.
“I like spending time with you… heck, I look forward to it. Yeah, I get worried sometimes because I want to do what’s right for everyone, especially the kids. ” Kevin hugged him.
“Daddy, can I have some papple dus?” Grant asked from behind him.
“Of course,” Willy answered as he pulled away. He poured Grant a covered cup of juice and took him into the other room, where he got him settled on the sofa under a blanket. “Do you need anything else?”
Grant shook his head and sipped his juice, so Willy left him to watch television.
“Is he okay?”
“Yes. His fever is down, and as long as I can keep him quiet, we should be okay. It’s Sunday, and thankfully I don’t have anywhere that I have to be.
” He sat back at the table with his coffee.
“How about you? I know that you have to go into work this afternoon. I suppose that after all this drama, it will seem like a relief.”
Kevin rolled his eyes. “Drama? You haven’t lived until you’re in a fire station with six guys, all of whom think they’re God’s gift to the world.
Add to the mix the women that the men are primping over and you have a recipe for more drama than a telenovela.
So don’t worry about it. Besides, Grant was sick.
That happens with kids. I just hope I don’t come down with whatever he has. ”
“You and me both. I have had more colds and sniffles in the last few years than I ever had before. Between the two of them, they bring home everything.”
Growls sounded from the other room.
“Benjamin,” Kevin called, “you leave the others alone.” He pushed back the chair, and the dog jumped onto his lap, settling across his knees. “He may be the smallest, but he rules the roost—or at least thinks he does.”
“The other two are curled up with Grant.”
“Yeah, and this guy decided that he wanted to be king of the couch.” Kevin petted him, and Benjamin settled down.
At least the kids were quiet for the moment, and that gave him a chance to breathe. “I need to get dressed and cleaned up.”
“Go on. I’ll watch the munchkins.”
Willy stood, and Kevin tugged him between his legs. “Just relax and don’t worry about everything. Grant is going to be fine. He’s already feeling better, and April is content watching her cartoons. They’ll be quiet for a little while, so take a good long shower. I’ve got this.”
He smiled and leaned closer. “Thank you.” Willy kissed him, and thankfully the kids were engrossed enough in what they were watching that they weren’t paying attention to them.
“I won’t be too long.” He hurried to his room, where he grabbed clothes for the day.
Then he went to the bathroom and started the water.
He wished that Kevin could join him. Hell, he bet Kevin was sexy as hell wet and slippery.
But Willy was also grateful for a full fifteen minutes that he could shower without being interrupted.
Once he was done, he dried off and dressed before hurrying downstairs to find both kids on the sofa, one at each end, the dogs between them, and Kevin sitting in the chair, reading on his phone.
“Were you good while I was upstairs?”
“No,” Grant answered. “The baby tried to take my juice.”
“I not a baby,” April countered, and they were off.
“That’s no way for either of you to act,” Kevin said, and both kids quieted immediately. “Grant, you’ve been sick, and April, you have your own juice. So it’s quiet time now. You can watch TV or go upstairs and take a nap.” It seemed neither of them wanted that, so they sat quietly on the sofa.
“Wow,” Willy mouthed. That was impressive.
Kevin smiled and slipped his phone into his pocket.
“I need to get the dogs home and then go on to work.” He got up and came over to Willy for a kiss.
“I’ll be late tonight, and you need to get the kids up early and go to work.
That is, if Grant is feeling better. So I’m not going to stop by after my shift, but I’ll see you later in the week.
I’m on shift for the next few days, so it means being pretty busy. ”
“Okay. Message me when you’re home.” That way at least he wouldn’t worry too much.
“And I’ll talk to you soon.” Willy hated that he wasn’t going to get to see Kevin for a while, but maybe that was for the best. They had been living pretty closely for a while, and a little distance would probably do them some good.
If nothing else, it would give him a chance to think a little about what was happening.
Since they’d met, it seemed like they were a freight train barreling down the tracks, and maybe a few well-applied brakes could make things better. Not that he really had a clue.
“I’ll message when I get off shift.” Kevin kissed him, and the kids covered their eyes with their hands. Then Kevin called the dogs and all of them were off.
As soon as the door closed behind them, the house seemed quieter and emptier.
Willy looked around, trying to figure out what he should do next.
But he figured sitting down for a while wouldn’t be too bad.
Within ten minutes, he found himself thinking about Kevin.
Within an hour, he was climbing the walls.
The kids were quiet, and he should be grateful for the downtime, but all he wanted to do was get out and find something fun, like taking the kids to the park, but that was out.
So instead he watched cartoons until his brains threatened to turn to mush.
Then he read for a while… and every so often, he checked out front to make sure no one was watching the house.
WILLY WAS not sure if returning to their daily routine was a good thing or not, but it surprised him how easily they all fell into old patterns.
He got the kids up, dressed, fed, lunches packed, and then off to daycare before he taught his classes and held office hours.
The most shocking thing was how easily he fell down the rabbit hole thinking about Kevin.
All it took was a few minutes of quiet time, or a damned committee meeting where everyone talked themselves hoarse and said nothing, for him to find himself wondering what Kevin was doing and if he was safe.
More than once, he replayed their night together in his head, but he had to stop that because it took him on a flight of heated fancy that left him warm and grateful for the table in front of him.
At night he’d pick the kids up, make them dinner, and then let them play for a while before putting them to bed and fighting to get Grant to go to sleep.
At the end of the day, he’d text Kevin, smile when he got an answer, and then go up to his own bed… and dream.
Bed was the one place he knew he could let his mind wander all he wanted. But by the time he collapsed, he was usually too tired to do anything about it. But the dreams—oh, they were wild, and he often woke covered in sweat and wished he was asleep once more.
By Friday, he was ready for the weekend.
Fortunately he didn’t have any classes and spent hours in his office with the door closed, grading examinations that proved he was doing a good job getting some pretty complex concepts across.
He had bright students, and their determination came through in their work.
He knew economics wasn’t easy, but this particular class was doing very well.