Chapter 13 #3
“Exactly. Make sure the system is working, so that if there is a fire, the system kicks in and douses it in the area affected without damaging the rest of the building. In the meantime, the fire department is on alert because they know what’s happening, and the police department can have the building under surveillance so that they catch the people intent on setting the fire.
If we’re lucky, you catch them before they actually set the fire.
” The more he thought about it, the more he knew it could work.
“Or is this too much like a television episode?”
Carter and Red spoke softly. “We’ll look into the idea, but under no circumstances is either of you to take it upon yourselves to get involved. We don’t want you two on their radar. Is that understood?”
Willy nodded. “I just wanted to share my idea. I’m a father of two, and I’m not going to put myself or my kids in danger.” And the thought of Kevin being on the front line scared him too. “As long as we promise not to go out on our own, do you promise to keep me informed?”
They looked at each other. “I’m not sure we can comment on an ongoing investigation.”
Willy put his hands on his hips. “Then there is nothing to stop me from heading down to Borough Hall and asking the codes department for all the building projects that Kraft and Hobson worked on. They are public records, and I can use the Freedom of Information Act to get whatever I need, especially if it’s part of my work.
I’ve decided that an economic impact study of certain classes of buildings might yield some interesting results.
After all, I’m always looking for another chance to publish. ”
Carter looked about ready to blow his top, but Red rolled his eyes. “Fine. We’ll keep you informed as much as we can, as long as you stay away from the case yourself. There is no need to put yourself on the front line. Got it.”
“Agreed.” Willy checked the time. “Classes are about to let out, which means half the faculty will be in here, and all of them are going to want to know what you wanted. So unless you want to face a dozen academics whose natural inclination is to ask questions, you might want to say goodbye. The rumor mill here works faster than at a garden club tea.”
Red snickered. “Thanks. We’ll be in touch.” They left the room.
A few minutes later classes ended, and Willy sighed. “That was close.”
“How so?”
“The only person who saw them come in was your aunt, and I can trust her to keep her mouth shut. But if the rest of these gossips saw us with the police, the rumors would fly around this place, and I can imagine they would range from me being mugged to I’m wanted for murder.
God only knows.” There were times when he thought the people he worked with needed to get lives of their own.
“I’ll head out. You need to get ready for your next class.” Kevin stood and lightly kissed him before leaving the break room.
“Jesus, the good ones are either married or gay,” Violet, an ancient history professor, said from behind him. “What I wouldn’t give,” she added, watching Kevin.
“He’s my nephew,” Evelyn snapped. She and Violet never got along. “And he has good taste.” She patted Willy’s cheek. “What was all that about?”
“Nothing. Just an update on what they’re doing about the fire.
” That should keep the rumor mill at bay.
“They’re making progress, but they don’t have a lot of definitive answers yet.
In other words, they know some things but can’t share them.
Which is fine. The kids and I are safe, and Kevin is doing better. That’s what counts.”
“So he’s going back to work soon?”
“Hopefully in a few days. The cough is getting better, but it hasn’t gone away.” He was starting to get worried that Kevin’s lungs were injured more than they thought. “I’m keeping an eye on him as much as he will allow me.”
She rolled her eyes. “That one is a really good man, but he spends all his time worrying about other people and doesn’t take good enough care of himself.
If he’d had his own way, he would have returned to work the next day and pretended everything was all right until he keeled over from sheer exhaustion and lack of oxygen.
” She poured herself some coffee. “You’re good for him. ”
“I’m not so sure about that. I come with a lot of baggage, so to speak. And I hope it doesn’t prove to be too much. The kids love him….”
“And that’s got you scared, because if he leaves, then the kids will be affected.”
Willy nodded. “I could get so attached to having him in our lives. But can I do that? Can I take that chance? It’s not just me, and the longer he’s around, the more they’ll….” He knew she understood. “I just don’t want them to get hurt. I can deal with myself, but not what I’m opening them up to.”
Evelyn shook her head. “People are going to come and go from your kids’ lives all the time.
The only person who isn’t going to do that is you.
So stop worrying. Those kids are going to grow to love the same people you do, particularly at this age.
If you want a relationship, then have one.
If you don’t, then Kevin deserves to know how you feel and what you’re thinking. ”
Willy sighed. “That’s just it—I don’t know. I mean, I know how I feel, but what if I don’t feel the same in the future, or what if Kevin decides it’s all too much?”
Evelyn sipped from her mug. “It sounds like you want guarantees, and there aren’t any. We’re all flying blind every time we give our heart. Mark’s death really did a number on you.”
“Well, I thought that was going to last forever, and look what happened there. I thought we would be together forever, but I didn’t know that only meant….” He hadn’t thought of Mark in a while, and maybe that was part of what was bothering him.
“Mark was wonderful, I know that, but don’t let your fears keep you from having a second chance.”
He nodded. “I mean, after Mark, I never thought I’d feel that way again and….” He wanted to get the hell out of this room because his feelings were way too close to the surface. “I guess I’m worried that I might be forgetting about him.”
“It’s just that the loss you’ve carried along with you for so long is starting to fade. That’s healthy. It means that you’re ready to move on. Mark will always be in your heart, and so will your kids.”
“But….”
“Did your love for Grant diminish when you had April?” she asked. “Of course not. Your heart just expanded to include them both. And that’s what’s happening. Making room for someone new doesn’t mean that you let go. Mark is part of your past, and you loved him. Maybe Kevin is part of your future.”
“I hope he is.”
“Then maybe it’s as simple as you allowing him to be,” Evelyn offered.
“Now you go on and get to your next class and don’t worry so much about what’s best for everyone else.
Think about what’s going to make you happy.
” She flashed him a smile, and Willy went to his office to get his materials.
Damn, he was messed up, and he needed to get his head on straight.
He didn’t want to screw things up with Kevin, but losing Mark had left him with so much fear and worry.
He was being dumb, and he knew it. Kevin was a good person, and he wasn’t going to hurt Willy, at least not on purpose.
And the future hadn’t happened yet, so worrying about it was kind of dumb.
It was time he allowed himself to start living again, and that meant going on with his life, moving forward.
He took a deep breath and smiled to himself before heading off to his next class.
WILLY WAS never so happy that a day was over in his life. He was sick of answering the same question about why the police were there. Even the damned dean had taken him aside to ask what was going on.
“Do I need to send out an email to the entire department explaining why they were here and that everyone needs to get their nose out of my business, or should I just send that to you?” he had snapped before leaving his office.
“I’m just concerned,” the dean had said.
Willy turned around. “The time to be concerned was when my home burned to the ground and I lost everything, but no one seemed to give a damn then, so I suggest you all butt out now.” He continued down the hall under a full head of steam, pissed as hell and getting angrier by the second.
He knew he should have kept quiet, but he was tired of the gossip and nosiness.
When he returned to his office, he found two students waiting for him. “Can I help you?” He tried to remember that these were the people he was here for and forced himself to calm down.
The young man and woman each carried books. He knew Jane and Roger from his second-year economics class. “Was the man who left right after the police your boyfriend?” Jane asked. “There was a rumor that you were seeing someone.”
Willy hesitated.
“I just wanted to say ‘way to go,’ if he was.”
Willy found himself laughing. There were no secrets in this place, and there never would be. Expecting anything else was a pipe dream. “Yes. He and I have been seeing each other.”
“Cool. You deserve someone nice,” she said. “Have a good night.” The two of them went down the hall, and Willy wondered why his social life was so fascinating to so many people.
He headed out to the parking lot and was about to get in his car when the dean came out of the building. Willy thought about getting in his car and driving away, pretending he hadn’t seen him, but before he could, the dean said, “Willy, you were correct.”
“And I apologize for being snappy. I asked the officers to meet me at my office because it was the only time I had today. I should have found time to meet them at my house, but they said it was important.” In the future he would keep anything personal as far away from the college as possible.
“Is everything all right? Do you or your family need anything?” the dean asked.
“No. The kids and I are doing our best to rebuild our lives. It’s taking time, but we’re managing.
Evelyn helped make sure the kids had some of the things they needed.
” Willy wasn’t sure what the dean wanted or if this was a show of contrition.
“It’s just taking time to put our lives back together. ”
“Are there financial issues at this point?”
“Some, but the insurance company has approved my claim. They said it will take a few more days for the payment to process. Once that happens, then everything should loosen up. But thank you for asking.”
He nodded. “Don’t hesitate to let me know if there is anything the department or the college can to do to help.”
“Thank you.” Willy regretted being sharp with him. It wasn’t the dean’s fault. He was busy trying to keep all of the academic wheels in motion, and that was one heck of a task. “I appreciate that.” He got into his car and drove to the daycare, where he went to April’s room first.
“How was school?” he asked April, who seemed subdued.
The teacher hurried over. “She had a little accident today. We got her cleaned up and everything.” There was always an extra outfit in her school bag just in case. “She’s been upset about it.”
“I a big girl,” she said softly as Willy picked her up.
“You’re daddy’s big girl, and things like that happen.”
“They call me Stinky,” April moaned before burying her head against Willy’s shoulder. He patted her back and thanked the teacher before carrying her down to Grant’s room. He was ready and excited to get home, talking the entire time to the car and then on the drive home.
His chatter continued into the house but stopped abruptly. “He’s asleep,” Grant stage-whispered.
“Not for long if you keep talking like that.” Willy took Grant’s hand and led him into the kitchen, carrying April, who was still quiet. He got them both a snack, and April finally began to open up as they ate.
A few minutes later, Kevin came in. “You’re home?” He stretched, his shirt riding up to show some of his belly. Willy couldn’t resist running his fingers along the exposed skin.
“Yeah. It was a weird day, as you can imagine. Everyone asked me about why the police were at my office. I should have thought more about that meeting. Next time they can come here. At least I won’t have half the faculty and students wondering if I’m in trouble.
” He shook his head. “How about you? How are you feeling?”
“A lot better. I haven’t been coughing much at all. I spoke to the chief, and we agreed that I should return in a week. So that’s pretty good.”
Willy nodded. “Ummm. Have you given any thought to when you’d go back to your house?
” He hadn’t wanted to ask the question because he didn’t want Kevin to think that he wanted him to leave.
It was comfortable having Kevin here with them, and he didn’t want to push him out—more like he wanted a chance to prepare himself for being alone again.