Chapter 5
Saliva pooled in Diego’s mouth. Even from that small bit of blood he’d tasted as it was sliding over his tongue, he knew Shay’s would be amazing. He could still taste the tease of musky fluid as it trickled down his throat. And the fact that he was giving it freely? That was—wait. It didn’t matter if Shay said Diego could drink from him. That wasn’t the point. He hadn’t killed anyone in hundreds of years—at least not when he wasn’t on the job—and no matter how hungry he was, he wouldn’t do it to Shay. Not in his home.
He jerked back. “No, I won’t,” he grunted. “I will not hurt anyone!”
Shay smiled at him. “I didn’t think you would. You’re a good person, Diego. A little bit of an asshole, but who isn’t? Keep in mind, though. You’re our asshole.”
Diego bared a fang and huffed out an annoyed breath. He could still feel the pulse of the blood as it thrummed through him, but listening to Shay’s voice seemed to calm the bloodlust. He was still horrifically thirsty, but he no longer wanted Shay.
“Do you trust me?”
Did he? Could he? He had three hundred years of issues to address. Maybe it should start with the guy who’d been there for Jerm. “I think so.”
“Stay here, okay? Don’t leave.” He moved toward the door. “Give me an hour, and then you can decide what to do. Promise me, Diego.”
One look in his soulful eyes, and Diego gave a sharp nod. The door closed, and Diego was left alone. He’d almost done it. Without a second thought, he was ready to take every drop of Shay’s blood into his own body. His stomach clenched, but Diego wasn’t sure if it was because of guilt or hunger.
A timid knock jerked Diego from his musings. “Yes?”
“D?”
Jeremy had come back! “Come in, Jerm.”
The door flew open, and before Diego could say anything, he was holding a sobbing boy in his arms. “I’m sorry, D. I didn’t mean it. I’m so sorry!”
Diego brushed a hand over Jeremy’s hair. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m not upset, I promise.”
Jeremy’s head tilted upward, as he stared into Diego’s face, probably trying to determine if what he said was true.
“I’m not upset,” he reiterated.
Thin arms tightened even more, and Jeremy buried his face in Diego’s stomach. “I love you, D! I’m sorry for what I said. Please don’t leave me!”
Today, for the first time in hundreds of years, Diego had opened up to someone about what he’d done in the past. Not only was Shay not horrified, he was sympathetic. So many fears drained away when he’d done that, which let Diego know he could, maybe, open up a little. At least with his family.
He leaned down and kissed Jeremy’s hair. “Love you too, Jerm.”
Jeremy’s head snapped up, his eyes wide and shiny. “You… you do?”
His expression was one of hope and longing, and Diego realized he’d cut himself off from everyone in an effort not to hurt anyone, but in truth he was hurting them all.
“I do. You’re my kid, aren’t you? ”
“Yes!” Jeremy cried, squeezing Diego’s neck hard. “I’m your kid.”
A niggle in the back of Diego’s head made him wonder, if the blood of paranormals was something vampires could tolerate, would he have killed Jeremy? Drained him as he’d done humans before? He looked down and found Jeremy smiling up at him, his eyes shiny. No, he decided. He would never hurt Jeremy. He’d give his life for the kid. His kid. He wrapped his arms around the slender body and squeezed, grinning when Jeremy squeaked.
They sat on the couch together and proceeded to flick through the channels. Occasionally they’d stop on something, but it didn’t hold their interest long enough to stick with it. What Diego noted was that Jeremy was plastered to his side, his head resting on Diego’s bicep. He’d done that. He’d scared the kid.
“I talked with Shay,” he said.
“I know. He told me he was here. And he said you didn’t hate him.”
“I don’t, I promise. It’s just… I have a hard time being around people. Most of them are wary of me because I’m a vampire, and I figured Shay would be the same way.”
“But he wasn’t.”
“No, he definitely wasn’t. You were right, buddy. I wasn’t fair to him.”
“Told you,” Jeremy said, his tone smug like only a kid’s can be.
When Diego glanced into the kitchen and saw the time, he frowned. Shay had said an hour, and now it was going on two. Should he worry? Did he have the right to?
“Did Shay say where he was going?”
“No. He made a phone call, and right before he ran out, he pretty much ordered me to come here. He told me to tell you not to worry if he was late.”
That didn’t help. At all. It was a big, scary city, filled with things that someone like Shay couldn’t fight.
Someone like Shay?
Yeah, it sounded wrong, but Diego meant it. Shay was soft, delicate. True, he had a steel spine, but he wasn’t prepared to go up against Diego’s world. He never would be. No, that wasn’t right. He never should have to. It’s one of the reasons Diego became a bounty hunter in the first place—to protect humans from the sometimes horrifying things in his world.
A knock at the door had Jeremy up and there before it faded away. He pulled it open, and there stood Shay, all smiles and teeth and bright shining eyes.
“Okay, Jeremy? I need you to go to my place for a bit, all right?”
Jeremy’s brow wrinkled. “What? Why?”
Shay knelt down, and Diego noticed Jeremy inch closer. He’d come to care for Shay, and though he had been pissy about it earlier, Diego was glad that Jeremy had someone so he wouldn’t feel so lonely when everyone was gone on missions.
“Diego and I need to discuss some things, and later, if he wants to talk about it, he can tell you. Now go.”
Jerm turned and raced back to Diego, then hugged him tight. He once more headed for the door, but stopped and wrapped his arms around Shay’s waist. And then he was gone. Shay smiled at Jeremy’s retreating form, then closed the door.
“I’m sorry it took so long.”
“I was worried.”
Shay gave that grin. “Oh?”
“Never mind,” Diego groused with a wave of his hand. “What’s going on?”
“I spoke with Ms. Donnelly. I didn’t tell her anything about what you said to me, but I asked if it was possible to get a supply of blood set up that would be available for anyone who needs it. When she asked what kind of paranormal blood I needed, I explained I needed human blood, as it’s globulin rich, and that’s what your body is craving. She didn’t even bat an eye and simply said sure and that she’d have the first batch sent to me as soon as possible.”
Diego was pissed. Not at Shay, who’d thought of him, but at himself for never confiding in Empatia. Had he done that all those years ago, he might not be the broody bastard he’d been.
Nah, he totally would have been, but at least he wouldn’t be starving .
“She sent the first batch by courier. I didn’t ask where it came from.”
He went back into the hall, then returned a moment later with a small box. Shay opened it, and Diego noticed the rich, heady scent as soon as he cracked the lid. It was fucking enticing, and his fangs dropped immediately. Shay held out a bag, and Diego grabbed it, then slammed it into his mouth, his teeth piercing the coating. As soon as he did, the fluid flooded his mouth, and Diego gulped greedily.
“Oh my God,” Diego moaned after he drained the first bag and tossed the empty aside. “I need more!”
Shay held out another, and Diego repeated the process. Before long, the twelve bags Shay had brought were empty, but Diego was… happy.
“You’re purring,” Shay commented. He pointed to his lips. “And you got a little something… well, all over.”
Diego wiped a couple fingers over his face, and when he pulled them away, he saw they were streaked with blood. His stomach might be thanking him, but Diego wanted more. He popped it into his mouth and laved the tips until the spicy-sweet flavor had been licked clean. He didn’t want to miss a drop.
When he finished, he turned sheepishly to Shay. Diego owed him a huge apology if nothing else. Shay had gone above and beyond, even trying to befriend Diego when he’d been an absolute bastard.
“Shay, I?—”
Shay looked at him with such conviction. “I’m here to take care of the household, Diego. And that includes you.”
But it didn’t. Not anymore. “I told them I quit.”
“And I told them you were delirious and to ignore you. Jeremy can’t lose you, man. He worships the ground you walk on.”
“I…. Thank you. Words can’t express how much I appreciate what you’ve done for me.” He swallowed hard when he realized what he’d almost walked away from. “And for Jerm.”
“Like I said, it’s my job to take care of you all. And you know what? I love doing it. Everyone here is amazing, and I feel good being part of it.”
And Diego had been a bastard to Shay since he started. “I’m sorry. No, that’s not even strong enough. I’ll get on my knees and beg for your forgiveness, if that’ll help. How I treated you was wrong, and?—”
Shay held up a hand. “You weren’t yourself. Haven’t been for hundreds of years, apparently. I’ll tell you one thing, though. You’re a strong ass person. I can’t imagine starving for centuries, just to make sure you didn’t hurt anyone.”
Warmth flowed into Diego. “I used to be human. I spent a long time trying to understand why that vampire had done this to me. Or why I killed all those people. I’m going to admit something to you, but it goes no further, do you understand?”
“Anything you say to me is between us, I promise.”
“I always pictured myself as a monster. I thought, because of what I’d done, I wouldn’t get into heaven and that my soul was already burning in the fires of hell.”
“Now you know you’re not,” Shay replied, his tone warm. “Every supernatural being is like anyone else. There is good and bad in everyone, and each of them chooses every day to behave the way they want. For centuries, you were noble, courageous, and caring. I get you didn’t see yourself that way, but I’ve read a few of the case reports. You were badly injured more than once, but everyone says you’d die before you’d let anyone on your team be hurt.”
“Even when I stayed away from you, I’d die before I let anyone hurt you. These people—you—are the world I made for myself. The one where Diego wasn’t a monster, but someone who surrounded himself by people like him.”
“I was the anomaly. The human among the supernatural.”
“I still shouldn’t have reacted like I did. I can only guess how much it hurt you.”
Shay shrugged. “It did, a little. But like I said, I get it, and if it’s forgiveness you want, I can’t give it to you, because it wasn’t something you did on purpose. ”
“Yeah, it was. I wanted you to leave. I didn’t want you here.”
“Because I tested your resolve. It’s easier to not fall when temptations are out of reach.”
Diego frowned. “Why are you so nice? And how’d you get so smart?”
“I’m not nice,” Shay said firmly. “I can be an asshole too, but for me a few cups of coffee usually fixes it. As for how I got so smart, you can thank my parents. They instilled a love of reading, and the genre I gravitated toward was supernatural beings. Who couldn’t fall for the bigger-than-life werebear, or the creepy, scary gryphon that is a devoted friend if you’re pure of heart? I don’t fear the darkness anymore because of those stories.”
“There are things in the darkness you need to fear,” Diego said, needing Shay to hear him.
“I know. Ms. Donnelly told me that I always needed to be on my guard, that this job could be dangerous, especially with some of the things you’ve all fought. And I will, but I can’t let fear control me, because otherwise I’ll cower in the closet with the covers over my head. I can’t— won’t —be that person anymore.”
Diego perked up at Shay’s choice of words. “Anymore? What do you mean?”
Shay’s cheeks pinked. “Nothing. It’s not important.”
His body language said otherwise. Diego noted the clenched fists and the tightening around his eyes. “Talk to me, Shay. What happened?”
Shay sucked in a breath as he shrugged. He reached up and brushed back his hair. Diego bit back a growl when he noticed the white line that went from just past Shay’s hairline to the back of his head. It was long, jagged, and Diego noted there had been a lot of stitches there at one time.
“What is this?” Diego ground out, trying to understand how anyone could hurt the man who wanted to take care of everyone.
“Old story. Boy meets boy, boy thinks he’s in love, then finds out that the guy who he believes is supposed to be his true love is, in fact, a pathological liar who cheats with anyone who’d be willing to blow him or let him fuck them. Then said pathological liar goes ballistic when the stupid boy tries to explain why he’s going to leave and return to his parents’ house. Refusing to hear the stupid boy, the liar grabs a baseball bat and beats our hero so bad, he’s kept in a coma in the hospital for nearly a month. The doctors tell his parents they’re not sure if he’ll survive, but somehow the stubborn bastard pulls through.” His head snapped up, and he stared into Diego’s eyes with a fierceness that sent a shiver through Diego. “Tell me, Diego, what monster is scarier than that? I know you said you felt like one, but I promise you, humans can be the worst monsters of all.”
Shay’s armor was forged in adversity. His toughness was earned, as was Diego’s team. Through trial and combat. While Shay might not be a warrior, neither was he one to shy away when the going got tough.
“Any of us would stand with you during a fight, Shay. Even Jeremy would be by your side. We’re trying to keep him away from our life, because it’s hard and lonely, and we want so much more for him. I’m understanding now why Empatia hired you. When we come home from a job, Jeremy sees the aftereffects. The blood, the bruises, the broken bones. He thinks it’s all cool, even when we try to impress on him it’s not. Empatia thinks you’ll bring sorely needed light to Jerm’s life to counteract that crap we drag home with us.”
Diego found he’d prefer to keep Shay out of their world too. He’d had enough trauma in his life, so why add more? He wondered briefly if Empatia could find Shay and Jeremy a home somewhere, but dismissed that as quickly. He wasn’t kidding when he told Jerm he loved him. The kid had kept Diego sane since he’d come to live with them, and that was no mean feat.
“I appreciate that. Doubt it’s going to be necessary, though.” He stood. “I have to go get lunch started.”
“Oh? What are you making?”
“Well, Martin and Borne are out, so I was going to make some burgers and serve them with macaroni and cheese. It’s one of Jeremy’s favorites.”
Diego sucked in a quick breath. In one afternoon, Shay had helped Diego above and beyond what he got paid for. Maybe it was time for Diego to step up and show his appreciation. “What time should I be there?”
That seemed to stun Shay, who stood there blinking, his mouth agape. “You’d come down for lunch?”
“I would. It sounds delicious.”
“You don’t have to, you know.”
Diego knew that, but…. “I do. I’m supposed to be the leader of this team, and it’s time I started acting like it.” He smiled at Shay. “Besides, someone has given me a new lease on life, helped to quell centuries worth of hunger, and has asked for nothing in return. I think I owe him a lot more than eating his cooking.”
The corner of Shay’s mouth curled up. “I like the new and improved Diego.”
“This isn’t the new and improved. More like the original recipe. Before I was a soldier, I had friends. We’d head down to the beach, cook for the group, and then after we stuffed ourselves, we’d strip off our clothes and run in the waves. I can still recall it, even though I can’t remember their names or faces.” He gave a rueful chuckle. “I’ve known hundreds of people over the years, and it’s not easy to keep their faces in my mind. Around 1816, after the invention of the camera, I started taking photographs to remind me when I’m feeling nostalgic.”
“I’d love to see them,” Shay said, his tone telling Diego he wasn’t just saying it.
“Maybe we can arrange that.”
“Did you ever know any humans after you changed?”
Diego shook his head. “I stayed as far away as possible. Even when someone came into the house to do repairs or something we couldn’t handle, I hid away.”
“Can I say something? It might annoy you.”
Anything Shay had to say, he’d earned the right to. Plus, Diego was a big boy, and he could handle criticism. “Anything you want.”
“I think you should tell everyone. No one here is going to think less of you.”
That wasn’t true. “Jeremy would.”
“This is his world too. If it wasn’t for you, he’d probably be a lot more like his mother was. According to everything I’ve read, snake shifters aren’t usually warm and cuddly. Jeremy is. I think that’s because of everyone here looking out for him. You especially.”
He had a point. Jeremy flourished, sought out hugs, and hated to be alone, preferring instead to spend time with his family.
“He knows I killed his mother.”
“Yeah, he told me.” Diego was about to say something, but Shay pressed ahead. “He said it didn’t matter to him. He talked about life here and how everyone treated him, especially you. You’re all his true family.”
Diego shook his head. “Is there anything he hasn’t shared with you? It’s only been about a month, and he’s already more open with you than most of us.”
“That’s because I’m here all day with him. Can I ask, why doesn’t he go to school?”
“He can’t control his shift yet. If he gets stressed or upset enough, he’ll change, and most people aren’t ready to deal with all this. At least not now.”
“That makes sense. Is there anything I can do to help him?”
How strange was the flush of joy that slid through Diego? After everything he’d done, how he treated Shay, the guy was still willing to step up for them. “Yeah, actually. He has books on snakes. Every couple of days, pick one and tell him to shift into it. Make sure the two of you read the description of the snake together, so he has all the information to get it right.”
“Will do.”
“He needs help with the venomous snakes especially.”
Shay’s eyes widened. “Wait. He can produce venom?”
“We’re not sure who his father was. If he was human—a rarity for a shifter and human to have offspring—or another type of shifter, then maybe not. If he was some kind of snake shifter himself—which we think is more likely based on the snake’s features he displays—then yes, with enough practice he’ll be able to innately become a perfect copy of any snake he sees, right down to the cellular level. It takes a lot of concentration, though. There are colonies of snake shifters that could train him, but Jerm doesn’t seem at all interested in meeting any of them.”
Shay seemed ready to say something, but then he shook his head.
“What is it?” Diego asked.
“Jeremy told me something in confidence, and I don’t know that I can share it with you, even if you are his father.”
It was amazing that Shay thought of him as Jerm’s father. “I think that’s the best time to share, unless it’s something that won’t get him hurt.”
A quick run of slender fingers through Shay’s wavy hair. “Well…. You see, he’s worried about leaving the house. He thinks if he does go out, when he gets back, you’ll be gone. Or that something will happen to you while you’re out working.”
So Diego had been right. Shay was a lifeline for Jerm. Something to tether him when the group went out on a mission.
“I won’t say nothing will happen. We’ve had several people die while we were doing jobs, so it would be ridiculous to think it couldn’t be me. That said, vampires are hard to kill. The old wive’s tales aren’t wrong. Beheading, a stake through the heart, stuff like that, will definitely kill us, just like they would anyone else. But we’re fast, agile, and stronger than a human. In fact, other than, like, two different shifters who live on the far side of the world, we’re pretty much the top of the food chain.”
“Try telling that to a little boy and see how far it gets you. Nightmares aren’t uncommon, and when you’re gone, Jeremy says they get worse, because he imagines all these scenarios.”
Now Diego was confused. “But he said he wants to do this too.”
“And he still does, but not for the reason you think. It’s not to help others. It’s to keep you—his father—safe.”
Pride bloomed in Diego’s chest. If he’d wanted someone to care for him, he needed to look closer to home. Jerm loved him, wanted to be near him. Diego hadn’t seen that clearly. What else hadn’t he noticed?
That had to change. Today. Starting with lunch.