Chapter 18
“Some jokes never get old.” ~ Kai
Kai
I whistle as I make my way to Eli’s house carrying Mr. Crisp. Mr. Crisp is a pickle in a jar but don’t let the outer appearance fool you, he’s a wizard at poker. He’s also my good luck charm.
Everyone is required to bring a good luck charm to the Raider monthly poker games.
It all started when Miles refused to play without Hopper – his rabbit’s foot that definitely isn’t a rabbit.
Zane complained it wasn’t fair if one person had a lucky charm and the rest didn’t.
Miles claimed it wasn’t his fault if no one else was lucky.
Somehow, it escalated into all of us being required to have lucky charms. Zane has Nugget – a taxidermized squirrel in a cowboy hat.
Jaxon has a Chia Pet – the Green King – who he claims resembles Elvis but really reminds me of a green blob.
Rhett has a bowling shoe because he’s boring.
And Eli has a set of teeth he used to scare us into brushing our teeth when we were young.
I ring the bell and grin at Paisley when she opens the door .
“How is the incubator of my future niece doing?”
“Eli!” She hollers over her shoulder. “Raider number six has arrived.”
Eli comes running before I have time to enter the house. “What are you doing answering the door? You should be laying down.”
Paisley fists her hands at her hips. “I should be laying down?”
“Yes.” He tries to grasp her arm but she slaps at his hand.
“I am not on bed rest. I don’t need to lie down.”
“What’s going on?” Miles asks as he and Zane join me on the porch.
“I’ll tell you what’s going on,” Paisley sneers. “Your older brother is a control freak.”
“This is not news,” Zane says. Paisley hisses at him and he jumps back. “Sorry. Eli is a control freak and we should…”
“Not listen to his orders,” she fills in for him.
“Agreed,” Zane, Miles, and I say in unison.
“Oh no.” She groans.
Eli’s face pales. “What’s wrong? Are you feeling contractions?” He tries to lay a hand on her swollen belly but she steps out of his reach.
“I am not feeling contractions. I’m moaning because the Three Stooges have arrived. I’ll be in my lab.”
“Your lab?” Eli chases after her. “You shouldn’t be working.”
“Eli Raider, if you tell me what I should or should not be doing one more time during this pregnancy, I’m moving back into my house.”
“You sold your house. ”
She cocks an eyebrow. “I did?”
“What’s going on?” Rhett asks as he arrives with Jaxon.
“Shush,” I hiss at him. “Eli is about to explode.”
“And it’s going to be a big one,” Miles adds.
“Does this mean I can go home?” Jaxon asks.
Rhett throws an arm around him. “There’s no sense going home. Blossom is out for the evening with Dakota anyway.”
I frown. “Hold on. The women are going out? Why didn’t they ask Harper to join them?”
Are they excluding my woman? And make no mistake about it. Harper is my woman. We’re taking it slow for her benefit, but I don’t plan to ever let her go. She’s it for me.
“I should have brought popcorn. I didn’t realize there was a double feature tonight,” Miles says.
Zane pops open a beer and hands it to him. “You keep track of the Kai drama. I’ve got the Eli drama.”
“There is no Kai drama,” I claim.
Miles points at my face. “Except you’re gritting your back teeth. Goofball Kai is no longer. Welcome to Destroyer Kai.”
“I’m not destroying anyone. I’m merely asking why no one asked Harper to the girls’ night out.”
Rhett chuckles. “As much as I’m enjoying this, the truth is, Dakota did ask Harper. She couldn’t get the night off.”
I frown. “She works too hard.”
Rhett squeezes my shoulder. “Been there, bro. Tread cautiously.”
Zane elbows me. “Unlike Eli, who apparently doesn’t understand the word cautious. ”
“Are you serious? You didn’t sell your house?” Eli asks Paisley.
“Do you have pregnancy brain? We agreed to keep my house and rent it out.”
Eli’s shoulders drop in relief. “There you go. You can’t move back into your old house. There are renters in it.”
“There are?”
“Paisley Raider,” Eli growls.
Paisley holds up a hand. “We’re not married yet.”
“Not for lack of trying,” Eli mutters.
“You’re the one who wants this big, elaborate wedding. I’d be happy with a quicky wedding similar to what Jaxon and Blossom had.”
“Jaxon and Blossom weren’t in love when they got married.”
Jaxon growls. “Watch it, bro.”
Eli rests his hands on his hips. “I can’t win tonight no matter what I do.”
“You can hand over your poker cash now if you prefer.” Zane holds out his hand.
Eli narrows his eyes at Paisley. “You waited until poker night to bring this up.”
Paisley smirks. “I’m not stupid.”
“I had to fall in love with a genius.”
“You would be bored with anyone else.”
Eli wraps his arms around her and draws her near. “I would.”
“Boo!” Zane shouts as Eli dips his head to kiss Paisley. “No lovey dovey on poker night. ”
Paisley giggles as she retreats from Eli. “Have a fun poker night.”
“Where are you going?” Eli asks as she walks past us out the door.
“I’ll be back before you’re finished with your game.”
When Eli goes to follow her, Rhett steps in his way. “Let her go.”
“She’s pregnant.”
“I know. The entire island of Smuggler’s Hideaway knows.”
Eli sighs as Paisley waves goodbye. “Fine. Come in. Let’s play some poker.”
Once Paisley’s gone, we gather in Eli’s game room. The room is exactly how you’d picture a billionaire’s game room. Dark wooden paneling, green leather couches, large flat-screen televisions, a pool table in the middle of the room, and a fully stocked bar along one wall.
It’s my favorite room in the house. Except for the swimming pool in the basement. You can’t beat a swimming pool and sauna in the winter months when it’s rainy and windy on the beach. Eli tries to keep us out. He’s silly. As if we don’t know how to pick a lock or crawl through a window.
“Where’s your lucky charm?” Zane asks Eli.
“If you don’t have your lucky charm, you automatically lose,” Miles says.
“Hmmm…” Zane taps his chin as he studies our older brother. “Maybe he needs his lucky charm teeth as dentures. It happens with old men.”
Eli throws a pillow at them. “I’m not an old man. ”
“Isn’t your girlfriend older than Eli?” Jaxon asks me.
“Harper isn’t my girlfriend.” Yet. And I’m not discussing how Harper is older than me. It doesn’t matter. End of discussion.
I rub my hands together. “Let’s play some poker. Mr. Crisp and I are feeling lucky tonight.”
“Mr. Crisp is a pickle. He can’t feel anything,” Jaxon says.
I cuddle the jar to my chest. “Don’t listen to him, Mr. Crisp. He doesn’t know what he’s saying.”
“It’s an inanimate object. Inanimate objects…”
“Nope,” I cut my nerdy brother off before he can give me and everyone else a lecture. Knowing him, he has a PowerPoint presentation prepared. No thanks.
Rhett places his bowling shoe on the table and pulls out a chair. “Can we just once play poker without all the goofing off and jokes?”
He sits down and pfft.
“Are you serious?” he asks as he jumps to his feet. “How did you even get a whoopie cushion on the chair without me noticing?”
He throws the whoopie cushion at me. “Hey. Why am I to blame?”
“Because you’re a jokester who thinks fart jokes are still funny.”
“Dude.” Miles shakes his head. “Fart sounds are freaking hilarious.”
“High five!” Zane slaps my hand .
“I have to admire how you put down the cushion without anyone noticing,” Jaxon says as he fiddles with his glasses.
“Thank you.” I bow.
Eli hands out glasses of whiskey before pulling out a chair. He checks there’s nothing on it before sitting down and raising his glass. “To smugglers, bootleggers, rumrunners, and the mermaids who loved them.”
“Smugglers!” We repeat before drinking our whiskey.
Rhett grabs the deck of cards from the middle of the table and unwraps them before shuffling and dealing. We always use a new deck to prevent cheating. As if that’ll stop me.
Miles is the first one to notice something’s off. He elbows Zane, whose eyes widen when he realizes the cards are special.
“I’m feeling lucky,” Miles says before sliding a large stack of chips toward the center of the table.
“What did you do?” Eli asks me.
“Why me?”
“I believe it’s because you are the jokester of the family.”
I roll my eyes at Jaxon. “Thank you for clarifying, nerd.”
“What the hell?” Rhett explodes. “These cards are marked.”
He tears the first card into pieces but I jump from the table to stop him before he destroys any more. “Hey. I had to special order those.”
“Does your girlfriend know you cheat at poker?”
I glare at him. “Harper isn’t my girlfriend. And I didn’t cheat. It was a prank.”
“We discovered it in advance, it doesn’t count for the prank war,” Jaxon says.
“Whatever. Everyone’s being boring tonight. I’m going to Rumrunner. ”
“He’s running to his girlfriend because everyone’s being mean to him,” Miles taunts.
I ignore him. Let him think I’m upset and need comfort. If it helps me get out of here so I can spend some time with Harper, he can think what he wants.
Our date yesterday was a success but I haven’t seen or heard from Harper since. She’s horrible at responding to my messages. I guess I’d better go check on her.