Chapter 27
“I was fine until feelings got involved. Rude.” ~ Harper
Harper
I stay cuddled in Kai’s arms while I allow my heart rate to calm down. Oh, who am I kidding? My heart rate will not be calming down anytime soon.
Kai loves me?
No, he can’t love me. He’s a kid. He doesn’t know what he wants.
Except Mom and Dad married when they were younger than he is now. And they were in love until the day Mom died. And then Dad had a stroke and nearly died. He nearly left me all alone.
My breath hitches and gets stuck in my throat. I can’t catch my breath. My chest cramps as I try to fill my lungs.
I can’t chance this. This whole relationship was supposed to be a bit of fun. I wasn’t supposed to fall for Kai. Kai wasn’t supposed to love me.
Escape. It’s the only thing I can do .
I push away from Kai. He smiles down at me with such tenderness I want to cry. No crying, Harper. Not here. Not now.
“I need to clean up.” Good excuse. It’ll get me a few moments away from Kai’s presence.
He kisses my nose. “I’ll get some water for us.”
I force myself to smile. To act as if nothing’s wrong. Judging by the way his eyes narrow, Kai isn’t buying it. But he doesn’t say anything. He fixes his jeans and strolls out of the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.
Escape! The word pounds in my mind. I need to get out of here.
I use the facilities before donning my clothes as fast as possible. My t-shirt rips but I don’t stop to check how bad it is. I can’t stop now.
I fly out of the bathroom, down the hallway, and out the door. Thank the smugglers I drove today.
I’m backing out of the driveway when Kai rushes out the door. “Harper!”
I don’t answer. I whip the car around and floor it.
When I’m five minutes away from Kai’s house and have checked the mirrors about a dozen times to make sure he didn’t follow me, I pull to the side of the road. I don’t know where to go. I don’t want to go home. Dad will hit me with five thousand questions. None of which I can answer.
And Rumrunner is out. Sloane can sniff out a secret at twenty yards.
There’s only one place I can go .
I park my car near the boardwalk and make my way to the beach. Prohibition Beach is the place Mom loved most on Smuggler’s Hideaway. Even when she was sick and could no longer walk, Dad would carry her onto the sand.
The beach is practically deserted since it’s getting dark. Besides, the high season is over. It’s still warm enough to swim and surf, but the crowds of tourists have returned to their homes.
I sit on the sand and hug my knees to my chest. Kai loves me? Is this puppy love or is he serious? And, if he’s serious, what am I going to do?
“Is this seat taken?” Jessica asks.
I startle. I didn’t hear her approach since I was lost in my thoughts.
“Hi,” I greet Kai’s mother.
“How are you, my dear?”
I frown at her. “Did Kai phone you?” She nods. “How did he know where I’d be?”
She shrugs. “I don’t know. All I know is my son is worried about you and freaking out.”
“Freaking out?”
“He’s worried he’s ruined his relationship with you.”
I blow out a breath. “He didn’t ruin anything.”
She lifts her brows. “But he does have reason to worry?”
“He said he loved me,” I confess instead of answering her question.
She smiles. “I could see his love for you at the barbecue.”
My brow wrinkles. “You could? ”
She sighs. “Kai is my baby. His older brothers and I have protected him to give him the youth they missed out on when their dad left.”
I cringe. “I’m sorry your husband left you.”
“I’m not going to lie and say it’s not a big deal.
It was a big deal. Raising six boys while working two full-time jobs was tough.
I was lucky Eli and Rhett stepped up. But I’m also extremely sad my baby boys had to grow up earlier than they should of.
Instead of playing football, Eli worked odd jobs while Rhett stayed at home and missed prom to help keep Jaxon, Miles, Zane, and Kai on track. ”
I snort. “I can’t imagine Jaxon ever needed help keeping on track.”
She laughs. “True. Jaxon is my little genius. It was obvious from the time he was five and returned home from kindergarten to announce he needed glasses.”
“He knew he needed glasses?”
“There was an eye test and he failed. He never failed tests.”
I shake my head. Sounds like Jaxon.
She clears her throat. “Anyway, I could tell by the way Kai acted that he was in love with you. My youngest has a big heart, but he’s a goofball.”
“I call him Goofy.”
“He’s not a goofball when you and your dad are around. He acts like the man of the family – taking care of your dad and you.”
“My dad had a stroke after Mom died,” I say instead of responding to her comments about Kai. I can’t deal with how Kai has grown up to become a man for me. It’s too much to handle at the moment.
“Ah.” She nods. “And now you are afraid of love.”
I scowl. “I’m not afraid of love.”
She meets my gaze. She doesn’t have the Raider blue eyes – the color must come from their father – but her brown eyes bore into mine without blinking. I duck my chin when I can no longer meet her gaze.
“I might be afraid of losing love,” I admit. “Dad after Mom died…” I blow out a breath. “He was inconsolable. And then he had the stroke.”
Jessica squeezes my hand. “He didn’t have a stroke because of grief.”
“I know. At least, my head knows. My heart? Not so much.”
“I admit I was inconsolable after Ted left. But every day it gets a bit easier. Every day, your heart hurts a little less. And then, one day, you find another man who forces his way into your heart.”
“My dad never wanted another woman.”
“But he didn’t give up on living.”
“He worked his ass off to recover from his stroke.”
“And there you have it. There’s no reason to be afraid of losing love.”
“Ugh. You make it sound easy.”
“Ha! There’s nothing easy about love. But there’s also nothing as rewarding as love.”
I stare into the ocean. I don’t love Kai. I might be falling for him. But I’m not there yet .
“Uh oh,” Jessica mutters as she points to a group of men – Kai’s brothers – hurrying toward us. “The cavalry has arrived.”
“How bad do we need to kick his ass?” Eli asks.
“Bruises? Broken bones? Stitches? Hospital visit? What?” Rhett asks.
I hold up my hand. “Whoa. Whose ass are you kicking?”
Miles rolls his eyes. “Kai’s, of course.”
Zane crosses his arms over his chest. “He hurt you. He’s going down.”
Jaxon pushes his glasses up his nose. “You and your dad are family now. We don’t let anyone hurt our family.”
I get to my feet and brush the sand off of my jeans. “I’m not family.”
Jessica wraps an arm around my waist. “My boy loves you. You’re family.”
Warmth spreads throughout my body at her declaration.
I’ve always wanted a big family. Mom was the best, and I love my dad with all my heart, but I never had any siblings.
Siblings to tease you and play with. Siblings who will rush to your side when you need them.
Siblings who will support you even when you messed up.
Miles’s nose wrinkles. “If Kai loves her, why did he break up with her?”
“Kai did not break up with me.”
“He didn’t?” Jaxon’s brow wrinkles. “Why are you upset and crying on the beach if he didn’t break up with you?”
I won’t allow them to think Kai broke up with me – especially since they appear ready to beat him up for hurting me – but I’m not telling them I ran away because he declared his love. Who does that? Apparently me.
“I’m not crying.” Not at the moment, at least.
He leans close as if to inspect my face but Rhett pulls him back. “No.”
“Harper just needed a bit of girl talk,” Jessica says. “Since she doesn’t have a mother anymore, I stepped in.”
“Girl talk?” Zane shivers. “Count me out.”
He starts to walk away. Miles chases after him. “Wait for me! The waves are calling my name.”
“I should get back to Blossom. I told her I had a work emergency. She gets angry if I work on the weekends.” Jaxon waves before marching off.
“Are you certain you’re okay?” Eli asks.
Rhett nods. “We can hurt Kai in ways no one will notice.”
“Boys,” Jessica growls. “Stop threatening to harm my baby.”
“It’s actually kind of sweet.” In a super weird and slightly scary way.
“You shouldn’t encourage them. They’re bad enough without the encouragement.”
Eli smirks at his mom. “And you love us anyway.”
Rhett wraps his arms around her and lifts her into the air. She giggles as she slaps at his shoulders to let her down.
“Do you need a ride home?” Eli asks.
“I’m good.”
“Catch you later, sis.” Rhett grins as he walks off with Eli and their mom .
My heart is full as I watch them make their way across the sand. They’ve accepted me and my grumpy dad into their family. They’re not merely saying I’m family. They show it.
I blow out a breath. I guess I’d better go fix things with Kai before I lose him.
He loves me. My heart squeezes, but I’m not struggling to breathe at the thought of Kai’s love for me. I’m still afraid of losing him, but Jessica helped me to put my fear into a place where I can handle it.