Chapter 33
SIX WEEKS LATER
“You sure you’re okay, hun?” Harriet’s hovering and it’s driving me crazy. Instead of saying anything though, I’m just going to grit my teeth and bear it. She’s been the only one who’s given two shits about me since that night.
Asher checks in every once in a while, and I see him at work, but I haven’t heard a thing from Ty.
Not since he told me I was nothing and gave me this concussion. I’m really thinking I’m going to have some kind of brain damage from all these concussions in quick succession.
But that’s a future Roxie’s problem.
He hasn’t even been to work. Asher just keeps telling me he’s busy, that he’ll be back, but even if he comes back… What am I supposed to say?
“I’m okay, Harriet, I promise,” I smile softly at the kind pseudo-mother, and grab my backpack by the door.
“Asher said he’ll let me just sit behind the front desk and he’s turning the background music down.
I’ll wear my dark sunglasses. I promise, I’m feeling better.
” Ever since Asher carried me into her apartment, unconscious and bleeding, she’s been astonishingly kind and taking care of me in a way I’ve always wished a mother would take care of me.
We’ve gotten very close these past few weeks, but I do need to make some money to contribute.
She’s let me slide on rent and has brought me leftovers from the diner.
But I can feel that I’m draining her. Not just financially, but I can see she’s worried.
She’s not sleeping because I’m up with headaches.
Apparently after fighting and too many blows to the head, one well placed hit can cause migraines. Who knew? Mentally rolling my eyes because, of course, this would happen.
“Please,” I say softly, putting my hand on her shoulder, “rest if you can. I’ll be quiet when I come home.”
A soft, knowing smile builds from the corner of her lips until a full one breaks out and she covers my hand with hers.
“Don’t let that boy keep you there longer than a few hours. I’m worried about these migraines.”
I nod, knowing that’s as much as an “okay I’ll rest” as I’ll get from her.
“I know. I’ll be back soon,” I say and give her a reassuring nod before closing the door behind me.
I just need some fresh air. Some time alone to figure out what I’m actually feeling.
I… I hate not knowing where I stand. I hate not feeling secure in myself. I always used to trust my instincts. But that instinct told me to trust Ty and… Well, that worked out like a fucking punch to the gut.
I just don’t understand where I went wrong. I don’t understand why he changed his mind about me. How he went from caring so much to… This. I was really heartbroken, I still am, but I was more broken than I thought I could be. Than I ever have been.
When I woke up and Ty wasn’t with me, wasn’t telling me he lied and begging me to understand, wasn’t telling me he loved me and would do anything to keep me… I realized it was true.
I spent so much of my life trying to protect him. Trying to keep him safe and free from the shit I’d somehow stumbled into, but it turns out all that was in vain.
Ty didn’t care about me, and he might never have.
I haven’t been able to see him to actually be able to feel his energy, to read his eyes. But if he puts that fucking dead-eyed look back on… I might not be able to tell anything.
How am I going to work with him? After sacrificing myself to Mickey for all those years, only to find out Ty used me too? Maybe worse though, because Mickey at least never lied and said he loved me.
That’s the part that makes me sick.
That makes me livid.
That makes me want to rip out his fucking fingernails.
A gust of breeze brushes against my cheeks and I take a deep breath to calm down. Exhaling slowly through my nose, I make the very short walk to From The Ashes. But even the door, the once comforting place, causes my heart to beat faster with nerves.
Will Ty be there today?
If he is, do I ignore him? Cry at his feet? Demand he apologize? Smile?
Regardless, with Ty and Asher is the first place I truly felt like I had a place. So I’m not going to give that up easily. If he doesn’t want me there…he’s going to have to say it.
And when have I ever made it easy for him?
I didn’t back when I was his girlfriend and I’m certainly not going to start now that I’m not anymore.
I square up my shoulders and take a deep breath, hardening my expression and opening the door.
It’s now or never, Roxie.
Walking into the shop is like coming home. The familiar low sound of the generic rock station coming through the speakers, the scent of antiseptic and bleach, and the dark aesthetic makes me feel comfortable all at once.
It’s like the breath of fresh air I needed. I can feel the alternative emo energy infusing into my soul like the dark, witchy, sarcastic bitch I am. My shoulders roll back and I gently move my hair to the side before plastering on my signature smirky grin.
“Oh, how I missed this,” I say loud enough for Asher to hear me over everything and the buzzing from the tattoo gun in his hand momentarily stops.
“Well, well, well.” There’s a small, teasing smile that grows on his face as he looks me over. “About time you showed up. I could use some help. Come on, Rox, come sit and tell me what you need.”
I swallow the tears that are threatening to build behind my eyes and nod, walking past the front desk and dropping my bag beside his desk before pulling up a stool to inspect his work.
“Not too bad,” I mutter, eyeing the compass and rose artwork he’s gracing someone’s forearm with.
“I think so.”
The customer smiles in thanks and Asher turns the machine back on.
“I’m very glad you’re back. It’s been too quiet without you.”
“Oh I’m sure you and…” I cut myself off before saying his name. “I’m sure you guys were just fine without me.”
“It was just me,” Asher says softly, dipping the needle back into the ink like he didn’t just drop a bomb on me.
“What?” I was so sure Ty had gone straight back to work, collected his winnings and used them for the shop. Or his family.
“Yeah, Ty called me the night of your accident and told me that he needed to go work for his mom’s family for a few weeks to pay off a debt or something. He hasn’t been around. Not after that night.”
My mind is spinning and it’s only making the headache worse.
“His mom’s family? But I thought…”
“You and me both.” Asher dips the needle in the ink again, wiping off the tattoo quickly before starting again. “He wouldn’t even go to them after his dad died, not even when he was killing himself trying to support everyone. So whatever happened…” Asher shakes his head.
“Is his mom’s family well-off or something?” I ask, trying to connect the dots.
“Oh no, no,” Asher chuckles nervously, glancing up at the customer then back at me. “We’ll talk later.”
Ah, so it’s something shady.
“What do you need me to do?”
“How long do I have you for?” He counters my question.
“Three hours. Maybe four if we can turn down the music and I can wear my baseball hat or sunglasses inside.”
Asher nods, holding his elbow out for me to bump so his hands stay sanitary. “Deal.”
I smile, nodding at him before standing up and putting my oversized sunglasses on.
“I may look like a douchebag wearing these inside, but these migraines aren’t going away,” I say with a teasing tilt to my voice.
“Besides, I look like a very fuckable douchebag, so who’s really upset here?
” The customer in his chair bursts out laughing and Asher pulls back quickly, shaking his head at my potty mouth antics and sighing heavily.
“For the love of god,” Asher mutters. “Go clean the backroom please.”
“Aye, aye, capitano!” I mock salute and turn towards the backroom, intent on getting my work done.
I’m fully invested in From The Ashes. I know I was excited about cosmetology school and I did give it a good try, but I’m not going back there, I’m staying right here.
Here… Here is where I feel the most free.
And that’s all I’ve ever wanted.
Freedom and a family.
If Asher hasn’t written me off, and Ty’s not here, I think I can do this. And when Ty shows up, which he inevitably will, then I’ll…cross that bridge when I get to it.
My mood immediately sours. I’m not willing to give up the family I’ve found here because of what he did. No, fuck that. Gritting my teeth, I start going through the fridge and throwing away the trash.
If Ty doesn’t want me here, then he’s going to have to fire me. And even then, I won’t accept it. No. That asshole is going to stare at me. Every. Single. Fucking. Day. He’s going to see that not even he broke me.
That I’m unbreakable.
The Roxie that was soft with him is gone. Maybe someday in the future, I’ll feel more comfortable with Ty, but right now, steel reinforces my bones. I won’t let him think he’s torn me down.
I see his line of unopened energy drinks in the fridge and start shaking them all, a good long ten Mississippi-spelled seconds for each can, before lining them all back up.
Let the games begin.