CHAPTER 12
“Goddamn, is this heaven?” My eyes never blinked as I leaned against the doorframe, scrubbing the back of my hand over my lips.
Gone were the heavy gray skies from yesterday. The sun was high, shining bright, and almost blinding.
Just like the shirtless man grinning at me while mowing the lawn with sweat dripping all over his washboard abs. “Morning, sweetheart.”
“Morning,” I mumbled and watched as he turned off the machine, putting it aside before he padded over to me and took my lips in a hard kiss.
“Hey.” I blushed. His smell of seawater, wood, and sweat tingled my nerves.
“Hey back,” he murmured before he planted another kiss on my lips.
“You should get inside,” I said, my eyes darting to the two giggling girls on the next-door porch. “This should be a crime—illegal for you to be shirtless in the sun or…” I held up a finger. “In any other weather, for that fact. Those girls aren’t old enough to be gawking at you.”
He threw his head back and laughed. “They are Leslie’s granddaughters; I’ve known them since they were kids. I think they go to college now.”
“It still doesn’t matter.” I curled my hand around his wrist, dragging him inside. The flush from my heated skin cooled immediately as I drew the door shut.
“Do you know how adorable you are when you’re jealous?” He switched hands with mine in a second and yanked me to his chest.
I swallowed, shaking my head. “I’m not.”
His grin widened as he leaned in, his lips brushing the shell of my ear.
“Your skin is glowing.” He paused, and my inhale lodged in my throat. “Green.”
Blood rushed to my cheeks. “Ass,” I chided, pushing him away.
His laughter followed my ears as I headed to the kitchen.
Something warmed inside me at the sight of the sparkling new coffee machine standing proudly on the counter. The small things he did without me asking got me the most.
He listened when no one else did, saw when others didn’t notice, and loved when there wasn’t anything to give. That was Jay. My man.
“I love you,” I called out, casting a look at him over my shoulder.
He sat on the breakfast chair while watching me with a smile that made butterflies revolve around my heart.
I placed a steaming mug in front of him and lowered onto the seat opposite him with my own cup.
“You’re too far,” he grumbled .
I rolled my eyes, grimacing as the coffee burned the roof of my impatient mouth.
A notification lit up my phone, and my brows furrowed as I thumbed it open to see I had an email waiting for me. Thinking probably it was some spam, I scanned over the content, and my heart felt ready to jump out of my chest.
“What is it?” Jay questioned, his previous playfulness fading into a serious tone.
My shocked eyes met his. “It’s from an agent. They want to meet with me.”
The lines around his lips softened. “That’s a good thing, right?”
I nodded frantically as my eyes swept over the email again. It was a good thing, but it was uncommon for an agent to reach out to someone on their own. Especially an author who was just starting out. “Yes, but she only works with famous authors, and I never queried with her. How the hell did she find me, and why would she want to represent a debut?”
He gave me a pointed look. “Don’t overthink. That’s your head talking.”
“Yeah,” I muttered, my blood still high from the shock. My hope rose with each moment as I went over her excited tone in the email. “She wants to meet this week. What do I do?”
“You go meet her,” he stated as if it were obvious.
“Should I? I mean, I want to, but I’m already nervous just thinking about it.”
“Evelyn,” he said softly, grasping my hand across the table. “You won’t know unless you try. You show up, and if it doesn’t work out, at least you tried, right? One lost opportunity opens the door to another. You just keep trying until you land on one that opens for you.”
“You’re right.” I nodded again, my mind spinning for a second before I shot to my feet. “I need to prepare.”
“You need to reply first, Evelyn, and set the meeting, remember?”
“Ah, yes.” I dropped as fast as I stood. “What do I say?”
“Here, I’ll help you.” He was by me in a second, leaning as he peered at my phone. “She is based in Seattle, so that’s good. You thank her for the response and tell her you’ll be able to make it anytime this week.”
I sighed while I typed. “My dumbass should’ve known that. Can’t believe I call myself an author when I can’t even write an email.”
“Writing an email takes years of expertise, sweetheart. For someone who failed in English, it is nearly impossible.”
I gave him a nasty side-eye. “That was one time. One time.” I waved my finger. “And blame it on Homer, not me. It was the most boring thing I’ve ever read.”
He raised a brow. “I disagree. I thought it was quite interesting that I even got an A.”
“Fine, the best writer of the year goes to you,” I gritted through my teeth as I reviewed the mail that I typed before I hit send.
“Of course, they gave me the title of the best songwriter of the decade last year,” he teased, dragging his lips along my cheek. “But I know a writer who’s even better than me.” His humor faded into a serious tone laced with love. “She pours all her emotions into her words that you can’t help but feel along with her—her imperfections, her rawness—yet that is what makes it perfect. It’s like a punch to the heart when you get your first hit and you can’t stop till you’re knocked cold. That’s how beautiful her writing is.”
My lungs lost their ability to breathe as I whispered, “I don’t know whether to cry or punch you or kiss you.”
“I think I’ll take you up on the kiss.” His lips hovered over mine before they came crashing into a searing kiss. I couldn’t even keep count of the number of times we kissed today, but that was what people in love did all the time, right?
“Okay, now I need to focus and prepare for my meeting. I have no clue what they’re going to ask me.” I bunched up my shoulders, googling “how to prep for a meeting with a literary agent.”
“You do that. Why don’t I make you another mug before I finish the lawn?”
“Sounds amazing.” My eyes never strayed from the screen. “But wear a shirt this time.”
“Yes, ma’am.” He huffed out a laugh.
“I’ll be fine,” I reassured Jay, mustering a smile despite the nerves wrecking my bones.
“You sure?” His eyes searched mine. “I could go with you.”
“No need. It’s only a few hours away, and I’ll be fine with Tyler.”
“All right. But please keep your phone close.” He pressed a soft kiss on my forehead. “Good luck.”
“Thank you.” I hugged him tight before I slid inside the car, bidding him goodbye as Tyler sped off .
It took us well over two hours to reach downtown Seattle, and minutes later, Tyler parked the car at the curb.
“Wait for me, Ms. May,” he said through the rearview mirror before getting out. I watched as he eyed the sidewalk before he held the door open for me.
Ever since the grocery incident, I wasn’t allowed to go anywhere by myself, but I had an inkling that these precautionary measures would be a part of the rest of my life.
“Thanks, Tyler.”
He gave me a curt nod. “I’ll be waiting right here, Ms. May. Call me if you need anything.”
“Okay.”
Sucking in a deep breath, I went over all the notes as I mentally gave myself a pep talk. I faltered a bit when I entered the lobby. It was so modern, clean, and professional. Not wanting to appear like a deer caught in the headlights, I faked a brave smile as I approached the blond woman with a tight bun operating the reception desk.
A stiff smile snaked her lips when she saw me. “How can I help you?”
“Umm, I’m Evelyn May. I have a meeting with Ms. Riggs at two.”
She raised a brow. “Riggs, you say? Let me check.”
I nodded, shifting on my feet while she typed away on her computer.
It only took a minute before her eyes dashed to mine, and she jumped to her feet. “Ms. May,” she said in an overly excited voice, unlike her detached tone from earlier. “This way, please, Ms. Riggs is waiting for you. I’m Tia.” She held out her hand .
“Nice to meet you, Tia,” I replied, shaking her hand before I followed her through a huge hallway. I tried hard not to gawk at the rows and rows of gleaming books lined along the way.
“I assume your day has been going great so far.” Tia made small talk, looking over her shoulder.
“Yes. Thank you.”
Her enthusiasm faded a bit, but her megawatt smile didn’t disappear. “Through that room. Ms. Riggs is expecting you.” She gestured to the frosted door before she sashayed away.
Drawing in a deep breath, I placed my palm on the cold door, prying it open.
A tall lady with shiny red hair and pale blue eyes stood by the window, and upon my appearance, her face transformed with a bright smile.
“Ms. May. I’ve been expecting you.” My hand grasped hers in a firm shake.
“Take a seat,” she said before she padded gracefully to hers.
“Please, call me Evelyn, Ms. Riggs,” I replied as I sank down on the chair across hers.
“Great.” She gave me a warm smile. “Since we are on a first-name basis, please call me Nora.”
I matched her smile. “I appreciate you meeting me today, Nora.”
“Of course, the pleasure’s all mine. Now, let’s talk about why we’re here today.” She fiddled through the heavy stack of papers on her desk. “I apologize. I’ve been getting plenty of requests lately—a life of a literary agent.”
“That’s okay, please take your time,” I said in an even-toned voice, unlike the thud of my heart .
“Yes, here we are,” she mumbled as she laid what I assumed to be my manuscript in front of her while she wrote something.
I sent her the entire manuscript last week upon her request, instead of a few chapters.
I took it as a positive sign that she wanted to read the whole thing, which meant she must have liked it, right? It even had a bunch of highlights sticking out of it, so I had my fingers crossed.
“So tell me, Evelyn, what are your aspirations and goals as an author?”
I took a deep breath before answering, “Make someone’s day. I don’t want them to read my words for what they are but what they could be in their lives. May it be a moment of joy, sadness, or grief, I want them to feel everything and escape reality, even if it is momentary.”
She nodded. “Heartfelt. But we need to sell books for that to happen.” She raised her brow jokingly.
“Yeah, of course.” Nervous laughter spurted out of me.
She dropped the pen on the table and leaned forward, weaving her fingers together. “So Evelyn. I read through your work, and I must say it’s pretty spectacular. I’m very much impressed. It’s very raw and holds a lot of emotion.”
Excitement shot through my veins as my lips curved in a smile. “Thank you.”
“But let’s be honest here.” She tilted her head as she regarded me. “Emotions and teenage love hardly sell these days. Either you need to have a pretty big fan base, which, in your case, you don’t, or you need to clinch the points that sell, which you haven’t done either. Gone were the days when you wrote a story, hoping people loved it. Thousands of books are released every year, and most of them get tanked under the shelves. We need to make sure your book doesn’t too.”
I nodded.
“Now.” She handed me the manuscript. “We can go about it a couple of different ways. I highlighted the parts that needed to be fleshed out—marked in orange. So we take out those parts and sprinkle in a bit of the popular tropes so it is marketable.”
I flicked through the pages of her notes, frowning. “But half of this is marked in orange.”
“Sadly, that’s all we can do, Evelyn. Unless.” Her eyes shined with curiosity. “If you want to keep the story as is, we can, but we need to work out a different angle.”
“Different angle?” I asked, unsure of where she was going.
A saccharine smile lit up her face. “Well, if I’m assuming right, this story was inspired by your own love, right?”
I nodded, already feeling the queasy energy swirling up my gut. People dug up my entire backstory in a matter of days, and with it splashed all over the media, it was safe to assume that was where she got that little tidbit of information. It was also safe to assume that was how she found me.
“Perfect. Then you know how famous your boyfriend is. He’s got millions of followers, and most of them are women. So if we establish your social media presence with his help and get the word out that this is about both of you, the fans will love it, and your book will be a definite hit. What do you say?”
My fingers bunched around the skirt of my dress as uncomfortableness stretched between us. What did I have to say at this point? All my previous excitement jittered away in an instant as I realized what this meeting was actually about. It didn’t take me long to come to a decision. I knew what I had to do here.
“I’m going to have to say no, Nora. I thank you for your time,” I affirmed steadily, rising to my feet.
Her smile fell. “Evelyn, I get how you may feel about this. But this is business, and if you ever want to be successful, you need to walk around the bush at times. This is a great opportunity, and I don’t want you to miss it because of your ego. You can either make the book marketable or market it with the help of your boyfriend. You have a deal on the table. Most people don’t even get this far.”
“I know, and I thank you for explaining, but I’ve made my decision. I’m not going to scrape out half of my book and make it something it’s not, and I’m not using my boyfriend for anything.” My voice resounded with conviction, and her lips thinned with annoyance.
“You know you won’t sell a copy with this.” She pointed at the manuscript.
I smiled, which only made her lips thinner. “And that’s okay. My book is something I poured my heart into, and I’m perfectly fine if it doesn’t sell a copy. Because I’m not doing this for money, I’m doing this because I love it. I hope you understand. Goodbye, Ms. Riggs.”
Her snicker was lost on deaf ears, and I walked out of the room with my head held high. Every emotion that I poured into creating that story was mine. Every part of it was hauntingly beautiful, and I wasn’t going to change that for anything or anyone .
Only when the car jolted forward did I realize that we’d made it to Bellevue, which meant I’d spent the whole car ride sleeping like a baby.
“Thank you for driving me, Tyler,” I said, wiping the drool from my lips as I jumped out of the car.
“Don’t mention it, Ms. May. I’ll wait till you get in.” He lifted his chin toward the door.
Just as my feet hit the porch, Jay opened the door and pulled me inside.
“Hey, sweetheart.” His warm arms wrapped around me. “Heard you slept the whole way.”
“I didn’t realize Tyler was keeping tabs on me,” I chided.
He pressed a soft kiss on my lips. “I asked him to. Either I get updates every thirty minutes or you’re spending every second of the day with me.”
I grinned. “I think I like the latter.”
“Minx.” He playfully bit my cheek. “How did it go?”
I shook my head, letting out a heavy exhale. “It’s a long story. Why don’t we get dinner while I explain? I’m famished.”
“I made a whole spread for you. Why don’t you change, and I’ll set it up.”
I nodded gratefully and clambered upstairs.
I was beat by the time I made it downstairs and immediately went and crashed on the couch.
“Is your knee okay?” Jay asked, just as I placed my feet on the coffee table.
“Hmm, yeah. Just stiff, but no pain.”
Only the clatter of my fork hitting the plate ensued for the next five minutes while I scarfed the pasta Jay made for me. That was how hungry I was .
He chuckled, retrieving the plate from my hands while I lay my head back, rubbing my full tummy.
It only took a moment before I felt him by my side again, and he pulled me into his lap.
“It didn’t go well, did it?” He sighed, rubbing circles on my back.
My eyes flashed to his worried ones. “Yes, but I’m not sad about it.”
“What happened?” he asked softly.
I huffed out a breath while I reiterated the whole story without missing a beat. The more I said, the more fury radiated off him.
“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he cursed under his breath. “Another shitty thing happens to you because of me.” His eyes were glacial as the tic in his jaw intensified.
I cupped his cheeks, bringing his blues to mine. “It’s okay, Jay. I’m really fine with it.”
He swallowed, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. “How can you be? It’s my fault…”
I placed a finger to his lips before he could continue. “It’s not. It’s just a setback. Remember what you told me about one door closing is another door opening.”
His brows furrowed. “Aren’t you mad?”
“Not really. I think I’m at that point in my life where I’m okay with things not working out the way I wanted and waiting for my turn. I have all the time in the world.” I smiled widely as my hands tightened around his cheeks. “I have the best boyfriend in the world, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been and healthy, and I have all the time in the world to chase my dreams. So no, Jay, I’m not worried, nor should you be. ”
The azure specks in his eyes lit up at my words, and God, he looked breathtaking like that. “If my girl says so. But, Evelyn, if you need anything at all, I’m right here, the easy or the hard way.”
“I know.” I kissed his cheek. “I love you.”
“I love you more,” he mumbled against my lips before tucking my head in the crook of his neck.
And we stayed like this while time slipped away, content and warm and safe. I could feel all the emotional turmoil that I held for years dissipating from my body.
In the end, I was right where I was supposed to be.
In his arms.
Home.
I was back home again.
“You sure you want to do this?”
“Yes, Jay. It doesn’t matter if you ask me a thousand times, the answer is still going to be the same.”
“Okay,” he mumbled before he answered his ringing phone, stepping away from the room.
Yes, I was sure, but I was a nerve-racking mess inside. It didn’t matter how often I wiped my palms along my pale blue dress; they were still clammy.
I wanted to be dressed decently for what I was about to do, something I’d never imagined I would do—go live on social media.
Over the past couple of days, my temptation got the best of me, and my curious self went on a deep dive through the internet to read what they’ve been saying about me. Anger wasn’t the emotion I felt. It was confusion and sadness—confused by their over-the-top lies and sad because they didn’t know the love between Jay and me.
A mere statement from Jay stating the allegations were false and that he valued our privacy wasn’t going to cut it.
Yes, his fans supported him, but questions still lurked. Questions that needed to be extinguished before they could even get the chance to burn.
They needed to know we were the real deal. I wasn’t going anywhere, and I was always going to be by his side, no matter what.
Jay wheezed out a breath, fiddling with the settings on his phone. “We’re going live in five. Micah set everything up for us.”
I nodded. Whatever coffee I had this morning was lurching in my stomach.
“Hey.” Jay’s soft touch whispered along my cheek. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to. I can do it on my own. I know how much people make you nervous.”
I licked the dryness off my lips. “You don’t understand. I need to do this. I don’t want to hide anymore. I don’t want to hide us anymore. I want to scream from the middle of the streets that you’re my man and not give a fuck about it. So even if I hate this, I’m doing it.”
He smiled brightly. “Okay. Just tap my knee if you get uncomfortable, and I’ll switch it out.”
“Is my hair okay?” I asked, brushing the long strands through my fingers .
His brows furrowed. “It’s a bit out of place here,” he muttered, plucking around the hair on my crown before he smoothed it out with the pad of his fingers. “Yes. Now, it’s perfect.”
“Thank you.”
In. Out. In. Out. In. Out.
“Ready?” Jay held the phone to his face.
“Yes,” I replied, scooting closer to his side.
“Here we go.” He pressed a button on his phone, and both our faces popped up on the screen. His with a casual, easy grin and mine pale and stricken.
Too many things were going on at once: the comments came in at light speed, the view counts were increasing by the thousands, and a bunch of emojis were flying over our faces.
“Hey, everyone. It’s J.J. here,” Jay announced in the voice reserved for his fans. “I’m here with my girl, Evelyn.” His eyes slid to mine. “Evelyn, do you want to say hi?”
I mustered a smile, trying hard to tone down the tremble in my hand as I waved. “Hey, everyone.”
“Yeah, she is beautiful,” Jay replied to the comments, sliding a grin my way. “I keep telling her that all the time, but she won’t believe me.”
“Jay,” I muttered under my breath while my face turned beet red, so red that I could feel the heat scorching my skin.
He chuckled, pressing a kiss on my nose. “But you are beautiful, sweetheart.”
I couldn’t help the smile that lit up my face while I got lost in those blues. For a moment, I’d forgotten that we were on live.
“Whoa, one question at a time, guys. ”
My wide eyes roamed over the comment section firing off in a frenzy.
“Alright, let’s see. How did we meet?... Evelyn and I went to the same school, and we’re from the same town; she was my first love and only love. We separated for a few years but reconnected a year ago and have been going strong ever since. I just…” His eyes flashed to mine for a second. “I just love her so fucking much,” he whispered before turning his attention back to the camera, and my heart melted.
He sighed. “Amid all the crazy things they’ve been saying about us, about her over the media. It’s all completely unwarranted, and she doesn’t deserve it, at all . I don’t owe an answer to anyone, but I do want to set things straight.” His eyes glided over to me once again. “Only I know how much this woman loves me.” He switched his eyes back to the phone. “She’s the light of my day and the stars of my nights; she’s my brown-eyed girl and the only woman with a place in my heart. So I ask you to please give us privacy and support and stop spreading misinformation.”
A certain calm swept over me at his words, and my heart exploded with love. “I love you,” I whispered, not caring if the whole world saw us.
His smile only made my heart shatter further.
Suddenly, something furry and soft jumped on us. Jay laughed, trying to hold Strawberry down while I wrestled with her little collar that had a little charm that said “Mommy’s girl.”
“Calm down, girl,” Jay ordered, but he was full-on laughing when she pressed her snout to the camera lens, barking loudly.
“Strawberry.” I finally got hold of her collar and pulled her onto my lap. “That’s enough,” I chided firmly, to which she whined, nuzzling her head on my lap. Her curious eyes were drawn to the screen, now showing the three of us.
“Who is she?” Jay read the comment. “Evelyn, why don’t you answer it?”
I cleared my throat. “Ah, yes. This is Strawberry,” I said shyly, petting her. “She’s a naughty little golden retriever, as you all can see, who is spoiled rotten by both her mom and dad, aren’t you?” I cooed, which made her whoof out a cute bark.
“They love her already.” Jay pointed at the phone, and my eyes trailed over some of the comments. It wasn’t just her they loved. They loved me too. The comments were pouring with words about how adorable we were, how much in love Jay was, how men should find a girl looking at them exactly how I was looking at Jay, and how we would make a happy Christmas card.
I got a lot more comfortable as the minutes passed, and Jay answered a few more questions.
“Alright, everyone. Thank you so much for joining us. I gotta go now that my girl is eyeing me like that,” he teased.
Blushing, I elbowed him in the ribs. “Bye, everyone. Thank you.”
And with that, the screen closed, and I let out a heavy exhale that I’d been holding.
“You were amazing.”
“It wasn’t as bad as I thought,” I pondered, my hand still petting Strawberry, who was on the brink of a deep slumber. “Do you think it will all be different now?”
“I hope so. Even if it isn’t, it wouldn’t change a thing. This is our new normal now. ”
“Hmm.” I leaned my head against his shoulder. “It’s freeing somehow knowing the world officially knows that we’re together and that I’m proud to be your girlfriend.”
“You are?” He raised a brow.
The corners of my eyes creased. “Why would you question that? Of course, I am.”
He tipped his head to the side. “I knew why you wanted to keep it a secret, but even back then, you wouldn’t let me introduce you as my girlfriend.” He sighed. “Sometimes I thought you didn’t want to be seen with me because you didn’t want anyone to know that we were together.”
“That’s not true.” I laced my fingers with his. “You know how insecure I was back then? Hell, who am I kidding? I still am to some level. All I ever wanted to do was walk by your side as your girl, but I wasn’t brave enough… I'm not saying I’m any braver now, but I’m comfortable not caring.”
He pressed a soft kiss to my lips before wrapping me in his arms with Strawberry snoring softly in my lap.
“How long do you want to stay here in Bellevue?”
My eyes focused on the pale pink walls. “As long as we can. Why, do you want to go back?”
“No, I have everything I want right here in my arms.”
“Hmm, I think I do too.”