Chapter 31
31
RUBY
So much for risk-taking. Truth be told, I am a big old chicken shit.
I don’t know if that’s because I just plain don’t know what to say, or really do know what to say, and am just too chicken-shit to say it.
"Come on, Brooks. It'll be fun," Chuck says, his eyes twinkling with that mischievous gleam I'm starting to find irresistible. "When's the last time you went stargazing?"
I try to maintain my skeptical expression, but I can feel my resolve crumbling. "I don't know, Chuck. What about the nighttime bugs? You know I’m not a big fan."
His laugh is warm and rich, one I can’t resist. "I promise to protect you from any marauding insects. Bird-eating spiders, too. Scout's honor," he says.
Blech.
"You were a scout?" I ask, raising an eyebrow.
"No, but I feel like I've earned some wilderness cred after surviving this resort."
"Good one. Fine. Let's go stargaze."
His face lights up as if I’ve agreed to something far more exciting than lying on the ground looking at the sky. But he takes my hand, and as we follow the group to an observation deck, I find myself caught up in his excitement.
When we find a quiet spot away from most of the others, he spreads out a blanket he somehow procured, which I know better than to ask about. We lie down side by side, our shoulders just touching, and I’m sure to keep my hands free to swat away any blood-hungry insects.
For a moment, we're quiet, taking in the vast expanse of stars. It really is breathtaking and I’m glad he talked me into participating. Living in the city, I'd forgotten how many stars there are.
"Damn," I breathe.
"Yeah," Chuck agrees. Then, "Hey, I think I see the Big Dipper!"
I squint in the direction he's pointing. "Sorry, but that's Orion's Belt."
In the moonlight, I can see him turn to me. "Nerd."
"Jock," I tease.
We fall into an easy conversation, pointing out constellations—well, I point them out and Chuck makes up increasingly ridiculous names for them—sharing stories from our childhoods, discussing our hopes and fears. It's the kind of talk that feels both exhilarating and scary in its normalcy and intimacy.
"You know," Chuck says during a lull in the conversation, "I've never done this before."
"Stargaze?" I ask. “Yeah, me neither.”
"No, I mean... this . Talking. Really talking, you know? With someone I'm... interested in."
My heart does a little flip. "Oh," I say. "Huh.”
"Ruby, I... I really like you. And I know this trip has been kind of whack, but I can't help feeling like maybe it's not such a bad thing that we ended up here."
"I like you too, Chuck," I gulp. "More than I expected to."
"Well, in that case..." He reaches for something and returns with a small lunch bag. "I got ya a surprise."
I sit up, frowning. "What's this?"
"Open it."
I shine my phone light into the bag and find... a pack of Red Vines. My favorite candy, which I'm pretty sure I mentioned in passing a few days ago.
"Chuck," I say with exaggerated drama. "You remembered." I wipe away an imaginary tear.
"You know, Ruby Brooks, I took a big risk on an extravagant gift like this. I’m relieved to know you don’t feel I’m pushing too hard.”
“Well, it is kind of eager, and some might say bordering on desperate. I don’t usually get Red Vines from a guy ‘til the second or third week we’re dating. But I guess here in the jungle, things happen faster.”
We’re quiet for a moment after being shushed by others, and in that moment, something shifts. My doubts, my insecurities, they don't disappear, but they fade somewhat into the background. They’re not gone forever because, after all, I am me, and I’ll always worry about something, but they do seem pushed away. If only for a moment.
Because here, under the stars, is a man who listens to me, who makes me laugh, who looks at me like I'm something precious. If that can’t chase away doubts, nothing can.
Before I can overthink it, I lean in and kiss him.