CHAPTER 2
Was it too late to take back my thanks to God? Why? Why me, God?
His punishing gaze never left mine, and somehow, his presence made the temperature in the room drop. “Is it a part of your job specificities that I must repeat every question twice? Because I don’t necessarily like repeating myself.”
I swallowed. I was screwed. So fucking screwed.
Say something, Evy.
“Yeah, hmm. I missed my train.” I gave him a small smile, trying to ease the situation.
But his expression stayed the same. The Jay in front of me was a whole other man. Not the boy who loved me like I was his whole wide world. I missed that boy.
“Judging by your condition, I’m pretty sure it wasn’t the train that you missed. Make sure you do your job right because I have plenty of other people to fill in instead.”
I flushed as he caught onto my lie. Yeah, Jay, I didn’t miss the fucking train. So what now? I replied to him in my head.
“Make sure breakfast is ready. I leave in ten.” He didn’t wait for me to answer as he walked out through the hallway and went upstairs.
Ugh!
Fuck, I only had ten minutes.
I rifled through Aimee’s never-ending folder of instructions to find Tuesday’s breakfast.
I almost wanted to puke when I read what it was—a green smoothie with the weirdest ingredients. No strawberries were written in all caps. It made me sad to read that.
Did Jay not like strawberries anymore? There was no strawberry milk in the fridge, so it was possible.
Accompanying the smoothie was a tomato salad with an ounce of measured cheese. Who measured cheese? You just put it in with love. And who eats tomato salad for breakfast? Who created this for my baby? What the fuck did LA do to him?
If I were with him, he would have been happily eating pancakes for breakfast.
Jay walked back into the kitchen, freshly showered, just as I poured the disgusting-looking green drink into a tall glass. The grass-like smell did nothing to help the nausea swirling in my gut.
“Your breakfast,” I said softly as I placed the tray on the counter.
He ignored me as he sauntered ahead. “I’ll have it on the terrace.”
I rolled my eyes as I lifted the tray to follow him. I still hadn’t had my morning coffee, and I needed caffeine to deal with him and my hangover.
He looked so gorgeous sitting there on the terrace chair, wearing a pair of black jeans that molded over his thick, long legs and a black shirt that stretched over his impressive broad shoulders.
At least black was still his favorite color. His hands were adorned with rings and bracelets as usual, but only now they looked pretty expensive. Actually, his entire outfit looked so expensive that I was sure it cost more than my weekly wages.
My heart flip-flopped in my chest as I made my way to him, suddenly feeling very nervous.
It reminded me of those days when I acted like an idiotic fool in front of him as a teenager. I missed those halcyon days.
It was a rare sunny day amid the gray fall in NYC. A gentle breeze doused my skin, calming the arising unease.
“Your breakfast,” I repeated. My shaky hands placed it on the table in front of him.
The open terrace was the second most beautiful place in this apartment. It was so expansive—a neatly kept lawn overtook the far side with glass railings making up the edges of the space. Closer to the apartment, a crescent-shaped lounge with plush seats and bean bags took over one side. While the other had a five-seater outdoor dining table where Jay was currently seated. It was practically an area for hosting parties or to chill out after a long day.
He stared at the tray stocked with his inedible breakfast. “There’s no coffee.”
My eyes widened. “Hmm, I thought you had already had one. So I didn’t make another one for you.”
His head snapped in my direction, his thunderous blues squared with mine. “Don’t assume you know things about me. I thought I made it clear that you do your job right or you walk away, which I guess is not that hard for you.” He dismissed me as he took a sip of his disgusting smoothie.
Way to go, Jay.
I blew out a painful breath. “I’ll go make the coffee for you,” I mumbled, returning to the kitchen.
I opened the walnut-colored cabinet to pull out an espresso mug and powered up the coffee machine. This was a coffee machine of dreams. It had so many settings and features that I couldn’t wait to try it out. The previous owners didn’t have it, so Jay must have brought it in.
The bitter-sweet aroma of coffee filled the air as the espresso mug brimmed with a double-shot single-origin Columbian brew.
I willed my body to calm down as I slowly took the tiniest steps to bring him his coffee. Thankfully, I didn’t trip, and my knee didn’t cramp.
“Umm, do you need anything else?” It felt so clinical to talk to him like this. It felt so weird like I was talking to a stranger. But the electrifying aura of his presence reminded me that it was him. He still did funny things to me now more so than ever because he looked like an actual god. Even back then, I used to think I was way out of Jay’s league. But now I don’t even fit in a certain category to be close enough to him.
He took a sip of his coffee while he ignored me.
I stood there awkwardly, my heart pounding as I watched his beautiful lips close in on the mug and his throat move as he swallowed it. I licked my lips as I started to feel hot. It was almost like watching porn for me. That was how gorgeous he was.
“If you’re done gawking, I want you to go back and do your actual job. Don’t stand there and waste my time.”
I flushed in embarrassment.
Asshole .
I almost tripped as I turned and rushed to the kitchen. I’m going to make myself the fanciest coffee ever and enjoy it. And not think about him.
Because my head and mostly my heart hurt.
Yes, he thought I abandoned him, cheated on him, and walked away from the overconsuming soul-wrenching love that we had for each other. So I couldn’t really blame him. But what about him? He abandoned me too. He didn’t even come for Auntie M’s funeral. The Jay I knew would have rushed to my side. I wondered what actually happened. It was so weird that none of them actually answered my calls. I felt it in my gut that it had to do something with that bitch.
I internally panicked. What if she comes here? I don’t ever want to see her fucking face again. All the hell that she put me through, put us through, I would never forgive her for that. I hoped she rotted in the darkest pits of Tartarus.
I sighed happily as the taste of the vanilla-flavored lungo hit my taste buds, waking up the happy hormones in my body.
My headache slowly disappeared. I was never drinking tequila again. My old body couldn’t handle alcohol at all. I smiled as I took in another sip. I was definitely using this machine every single day. Maybe even multiple times.
The hair on my arms stood up suddenly as I felt someone’s eyes on me. My chin lifted, and I coughed as my hot coffee went down the wrong pipe.
Jay stood across the kitchen table, watching me. The glorious view of the Manhattan skyline behind him from the full-panel glass windows.
Like he was a god straight from the heavens.
His eyes were almost the color of dark azure as he stared at me. His hands were clenched to his side as the muscles in his jaw ticked.
Uh-oh. What now?
But as if it never happened, he snapped out of it.
And I stood there, watching his back disappear down the hallway. I heard the front door slam as he exited the apartment.
I sighed. Can’t a girl even enjoy a cup of coffee now?
I cleaned up the kitchen and wiped down the counters till they gleamed under the dim golden light. Then I ventured upstairs to assess the situation. The spiral stairway ended in a long hallway with about five rooms upstairs.
The right side took up a huge library/office room, probably one of my favorite rooms in the apartment. The rich wooden shelves had rows and rows of books with detailed spines that looked like they were specially curated to fit the vibe of the library. A massive solid teak desk sat in the middle of the room, with golden beaded windows behind it that were draped with dark green velvet curtains.
A small reading nook was nestled in the corner, with fluffy velvet pillows overlooking Central Park outside. It would be a dream to sit there and read when it rained. What a waste of space, I thought sadly. No one would probably use it.
I usually cleaned up the library only once a month. It looked exactly as I last saw it, so I closed the door and headed to the guest rooms to see if they needed any cleaning.
Unlike the library, the guest rooms were decorated with new furniture and decor. They must have done all this in a week. It must be nice to move into a new place and get settled in this fast when you have the money and the means. When I moved into my apartment, it took me two whole months to even make it look presentable.
I tried to nudge open the last guest room in the far corner, but it was locked.
Hmm, interesting. I wondered why. What was he hiding? But I let my thoughts fade as I turned to the last room down the hallway.
My heart thudded in my chest as I continued on my little inspection stopping short in front of the huge walnut door that led to the largest room in this apartment.
The main bedroom, a.k.a. his room.
My hand twisted the cold golden handle as I stepped inside. The room looked like it had been completely renovated.
Wow, how did they do all this in such a short time? I sighed happily when I saw there was no white in the room.
A huge unmade California king-sized bed dominated the center of the room and was topped with a tangled, thick gray comforter. The headboard was a solid dark wood that blended so well with the aesthetic of the whole room. Opposite the bed was a TV set with a fireplace beneath it. The soft gray carpets were the exact shade of the walls and continued down to the entire room. The left side of the room had the same floor-length windows as the downstairs one, giving off a clear view of the city’s skyline. A black velvet armchair with a bright red acoustic guitar was tucked away in the corner near the windows.
I first started with the bed. My fingers traced along the fabric as I felt the softness of it. The thought that Jay was just here on this bed, sleeping a few hours ago, made my body tingle.
It smelled like him. I missed that smell. It was the exact clean, woodsy scent with a hint of sea salt.
I smiled as I arranged the pillows thrown all over the floor. Jay did that all the time when we used to sleep together. I missed the good old days.
I then headed to the bathroom, and the same gray interiors continued. The steam from the glass shower reminded me that Jay was naked here just a few hours ago. Oh, what would I give to have had a show of that?
I picked up the clothes strewn on the floor of the walk-in closet. I inhaled all of them for good measure. God, I loved that smell. It smelled like home. Sadly, a home that I could no longer return to.
All of the clothes in the closet were either black or gray. I got curious as I snooped in the drawers. One was filled with so many watches that looked so expensive, one with his socks and the other with underwear.
I blushed. God, he was turning me into a horny fool. I thought I’d become an asexual being after I left him. The last time I shattered in pure blissful pleasure was when he fucked me on the floor of that wretched bedroom. Just moments before he told me he never wanted to see me again. Well, too bad, Jay. Looks like you didn’t get what you wanted . I internally laughed in glee.
How very interesting that there were no personal effects in the room. No photos, trinkets, guitar picks, or even the pieces of paper Jay always had on him that usually littered his old room. It was almost as if he only used this place to sleep. But then what was I supposed to know about him now? He was completely different from the Jay I used to know. And he just moved in a week ago, so maybe he hadn’t set everything up.
By the time I got started on the laundry and made myself another cup of coffee, it was already around eleven o’clock.
Ugh! This could’ve been such a good job for me. The perfect job, even, since I didn’t have to move around a lot. And with the pay like this, I could’ve been settled for a while. But misfortunate souls shouldn’t complain. That was one of the hardest lessons I had learned over the past six years.
“Yes, Tyler. Make sure you get it done. I don’t want it delayed anymore.”
“Yes, sir.”
I jumped when I heard his voice fill the apartment. Jay breezed through the hallway followed by a man so tall that I guessed he must surely be around six-five. With his dark skin and sculpted body evident against his suit, he looked like an NBA player.
I was glad that the whole living area was an open setup because I could admire the view from the safety of the kitchen while I pretended to work. Well, his rules didn’t state that I couldn’t look at him.
Jay was deliciously gorgeous, sitting there on the plush leather couch looking at the Manhattan skyline. I licked my lips, and all the years of pent-up sexual frustration came crashing back in full force. Fuck, he was the only one who still did it for me. I was soaking wet just looking at him.
As if he realized my eyes were on him, Jay’s head snapped in my direction. I turned around so fast that I hit my elbows on the sharp counter edge.
Ouch, fuck, fuck, fuck .
That hurt like a bitch. A zing went through my entire hand as I silently grimaced in pain. Just then I heard the laundry beep. Thank fuck, I kept my back to them as I hurried down to the laundry room just behind the kitchen.
I let out a gasp that I was holding as I furiously rubbed my elbows. There. Much better.
Jay and whom I assumed to be Tyler were still talking when I brought out the laundry basket with neatly folded clothes a few minutes later. I silently headed upstairs to the bedroom even though every single bone in my body wanted to stay there and drool over him.
I hummed as I put away all of the T-shirts on the shelves and hung up his dress shirts on the hangers. I did a little clap as I arranged all his shirts according to their color, from light to dark. It wasn’t that hard because there were only black and gray and a few navy ones thrown in there. It looked so much better.
A throat cleared behind me, and I slowly turned to see Jay leaning against the closet door with his arms folded as he watched me with a cool, irritated look.
I swallowed. “Hmm, I was putting away your clothes.” I lamely waved the empty basket around.
He gave me the slightest nod but didn’t move an inch. His blue-blue eyes were locked on mine. The air around us tingled as it turned murky. My heart started to pound so hard in my chest, and my hands shook a bit.
It felt as though nothing changed between us in the physical sense. I still wanted to jump on him. But I can’t do that. I was embarrassed and ashamed of everything that happened between us. And mostly I was embarrassed and ashamed of the person I had become today while he stood in front of me as an accomplished rock star. What he didn’t know was that I was so proud of him. What he didn’t know was that I was his number one fan. And what he certainly didn’t know was that I still loved him.
“I didn’t realize I paid for you to simply stand and waste my oxygen.” He leered.
I clenched my teeth so hard as the anger coursed through me. I loved him so fucking much, but right now, I wanted so badly to throw the laundry basket at his head. But I couldn’t. I needed this fucking job.
I nodded as I made my way out, but he still didn’t move from his position. I tried to take as slow, measured steps as I possibly could but still tripped over the tiny step I didn’t see. And I blamed it all on his presence.
A strong hand gripped mine, preventing my inevitable fall, and pulled me to the side. The old, familiar touch of his rough, calloused fingers on my skin electrified my soul.
I inhaled a sharp breath as I peered into the eyes that I loved so much. He was so close to me, barely a whisper away. His smell invaded my body like a drug I didn’t know I was craving.
Jay’s face transformed as a sly grin danced on his face, which made my heart skip a beat. He brought his lips so close that they touched my ears. It sent shivers through my entire body and made my nipples peak hard against the lace of my bra.
“You are so wrong if you think I’m going to save you this time, Evelyn.”
With that, he let go of me as if his hand was scorched from touching mine. And I went down in a thud on the floor as I watched his back disappear out of the bedroom.
A painful breath escaped me both from the physical pain I felt as my knee locked up and the emotional agony that shrouded my body from hearing him say my name in the most cold and distasteful way. To watch the love of my life treat me like a speck of dirt beneath his feet. It hurt; it hurt so fucking bad.
But who was to blame?