CHAPTER 6
I have been standing over the kitchen counter for the past five minutes, my gaze locked on a muscular back as I contemplated how to proceed. Nervous energy mixed with fear coiled through my gut at the thought of admitting it all to him.
If the old Jay were here, he would understand and listen to me, but the man in front of me was an enigma, a mystery. I didn’t know what the hell was going on in his mind.
But I needed to let it all out because it would free me. I know we could never go back to what we once were, but at least the truth would help us both heal.
I had locked up all those painful events of our past in the darkest place in my mind. I didn’t comb through them to grieve and understand. I just buried them all, hoping one day that everything would be all right. And even thinking about it now brought about the same dizzying spell from yesterday.
“I can feel you staring at me, you know.” Jay turned around and cocked a brow in my direction.
I flushed, stumbling as I made my way to him. I swallowed the growing lump in my throat, wringing my hands as I stood in front of him, blocking his view of the city.
“What do you want?” His gaze bore straight into my soul. His face was a mask of impassiveness, giving nothing away.
My hands shook, the overwhelming jitteriness rushing to me. “I want to talk to you about something, and it’s important.”
“Is that so?” His eyes flared in surprise.
“Yes.” I swallowed, building up the courage to do what I should have done ages ago.
To tell him the truth.
A sly grin overtook his face—it was painful to watch those blues peer at me with such disdain—because he was still my everything.
“I’m going to give you something.”
I frowned in confusion. What was he going to give me?
He stood and strode toward me at a languid pace, almost like a lion sneaking in on its next kill. It made me want to cower and run away, but I willed myself to stay put.
His hands circled my hips.
It was like being zapped with an electric current to feel his long-forgotten familiar touch burning through my shirt.
His lips brushed my ears, sending shivers down my spine. “A taste of your own medicine,” he whispered
“What?” I mumbled, trying to take a step back from his overconsuming heat. His clean, woodsy scent with a hint of seawater was addictive.
But he gripped my hips, pulling me closer as he peered down at me. He ran his index finger over my cheek as he tsked. “Do you want to talk to me, sweetheart?”
My heart tugged—he called me sweetheart. But it sounded exactly how I didn’t want it to. “Yes,” I croaked, my mouth dry.
He leaned in, so slowly that each second made my heart race faster than it already was. His lips touched my ears as he whispered, “Too bad I don’t want to.” And with that, he let me go and plopped back onto the couch.
I heaved out a frustrated sigh. “Please, Jay. You need to hear this. It’s important.”
He fixed me with a hard glare, and the tic in his jaw told me he was irritated. “Evelyn. I don’t care how important it is. You’re the last person I want to talk to.”
“Why not?” My voice raised a decibel, echoing through the apartment.
“Pray tell, why? Because I gave you my everything, and you gave me nothing?”
A sad feeling swept over my body as I willed myself to move forward and take the seat next to him. My eyes traced over his beautiful face while he stared straight ahead, giving nothing away.
“Can we talk? Like adults. It’s about what happened all those years ago, Jay. Things that you don’t know,” I said in a broken whisper.
His sharpened gaze met mine. “Funny, isn’t it, Evelyn? How the tables have turned. I remember begging you to talk to me, but you didn’t want to, did you? All those times you ignored me, gave me the silent treatment, and pushed me away. Do you remember all that? Because I do, and I fucking hate you, Evelyn. If there was a stronger word to use than that, I would.” His voice was so cold, so flat, every single word sent jabs straight to my heart.
I couldn’t help the sob that escaped me as a single tear flowed from my eye.
He smiled—a real one, one that reached his eyes, one that he used to give me all the time. He swiped the pad of his thumb over my salty cheek. “This used to tug at my heartstrings once, but now I only want to see more of it.”
Every single word out of his mouth only dug the pain deeper into my heart. My vision started to blur as the tears began to flow like a river out of my eyes.
He closed his lips around his thumb, his tongue darting out to lick away the salty drop. “Yes, Evelyn. Cry for me, sweetheart.”
That only made me cry more. “Jay. Why are you doing this?” I hiccuped.
His nose met mine, and his hazy blues danced with mirth. “You very well know why, Evelyn. I would be a foolish man if I fell for those tears again. Know your place if you want to continue your job here. Now get out before I fire you.”
I didn’t even think as I scrambled up to my feet and rushed out of the apartment in a daze. I didn’t know what was happening. It confused me, hurt me, and angered me all at the same time. My heart felt heavy, my brain muddled with thoughts as I fought to breathe, exactly like yesterday.
Maybe I wasn’t cut out for all this.
Maybe I would always be a weak girl, forever under someone’s thumb living by the rules they laid.
Maybe I was always supposed to be alone.
“Smile a little,” Gabe yelled in my ears, his voice louder than the techno beat thudding through the speakers of the Box club.
“Ouch!” I cupped my ear, taking a step back. “Stop yelling! And I am smiling,” I bit back under my breath.
“Really? Because if that is your smile, you look like the hyena from Lion’s King.”
“What? It’s not that bad, is it?” I mumbled.
“It is. At least try. You don’t want to die alone like a spinster, now do you?”
“Ugh, fine,” I said, as I forced an actual smile to curve up my lips.
“Okay, he’s coming our way. Here, take this one for liquid courage.” He handed me a shot of tequila.
I nodded as I downed it, immediately feeling the burn and alcohol rush to my head as I leaned back against the bar.
“You don’t have to get her drunk to meet him.” Rory rolled his eyes.
“Trust me, our Evy needs to be very, very drunk. Especially when she meets Marcus.”
I sighed, my eyes focusing on the frame closing in on us. Okay, Evy, you can do this!
“Gabe, man!” Marcus grinned, giving Gabe and Rory a quick hug as they exchanged pleasantries. A moment passed before his eyes met mine, and he took me in from head to toe.
“Evy, you look gorgeous.” He beamed, gesturing to the very tight, very short black dress that I was wearing that pushed up my boobs like crazy, revealing the tops of the creamy skin. It definitely made me uncomfortable, but according to Gabe, it was the perfect fuck-me dress. And you apparently had to wear a fuck-me dress when going to clubs.
“Thanks. So do you,” My mouth automatically replied, and I flushed when I realized what I had just said. “I mean, you look good, too.” I gave him an awkward smile.
He took that as an invitation to slide in beside me. He nodded to the bartender, and magically, the same drinks we were having appeared before us.
“For you, my lady.” Marcus handed me a Long Island iced tea; my second one tonight. Coupled with the few tequila shots that Gabe made me down, I could already feel the buzz starting to make me lightheaded. The older I got, the harder it was to hold the alcohol.
I smiled shyly as my hand closed around the glass, taking a small sip.
Marcus was just as I imagined him to be—his well-kept blond hair was trimmed neatly on the sides and he wore a pressed white shirt and navy slacks. He looked like a well-mannered, decent guy standing just a few inches taller than me.
Not at all like the guy who used to tower over me, making me feel safe and comfortable. My mind always drifted to him. The hurt of his words from today still lingered, but I decided to forget about that tonight and have fun.
“Come on, let’s head to the private room. Perks of being a manager and all,” Marcus exclaimed, to which Gabe nodded a little too enthusiastically.
Marcus linked his fingers with mine before I could even say anything and dragged us toward the end of the floor.
His touch felt foreign and distant. I wasn’t sure whether I liked it. I sighed as we moved through the gyrating bodies on the dance floor. The music was jarring and a bit too loud for my taste.
I hated going to clubs, especially after the little stints I pulled off in LA. It reminded me of those dark times, and I hated being reminded of that.
The Box was the go-to place for NYC’s partygoers, elusive and exclusive to a certain crowd. We sure wouldn’t even have gotten inside if it wasn’t for Marcus. Not at all like the hole-in-the-wall seedy pubs that Gabe and I usually go to that offered cheap drinks.
Marcus led us up a circular staircase with the sign Private written on it. I tried to keep up with him as best as I possibly could with my knee as we trotted to the first floor.
Two burly guards flanked another set of stairs situated at the far end.
“That’s the VVIP room,” Marcus told me, noticing my gawking.
“Who cares! Let’s get more drinks, bitches!” Gabe pulled me inside.
The room was a replica of the main floor, only a bit calmer and sparse. The music in this room was much more bearable.
“Evy, I’m so glad you could make it. I thought you would brush me off.” Marcus slides up next to me, a little too close for my comfort.
“No.” I chuckled awkwardly. “I was going to text you back. But it completely slipped my mind.”
“So that means I still have a shot?”
“Ugh?”
His face transformed into a sly grin. “To take you out?”
“Yeah, I guess.” My lips curved into a jittery smile. I clutched my drink, bringing it to my lips as I drank a healthy amount to calm my nerves.
He held out his hand. “Can I have a dance?”
I looked at him with wide eyes as I shakily grasped his hand. He grinned as he took me to the makeshift dance floor in the middle of the room. Dancing was a very bad idea with my fucked-up knee, but at least I was wearing my sensible soft chunky loafers.
Rory and Gabe soon joined us, jumping and grinding to the music. And me—I was pretty sure a robot could dance better than whatever the fuck I was doing. My stiffened limbs tried their best to move along with Marcus, who had his hand gripped around my hips, twirling and twisting me.
And I failed miserably each time. I was not feeling this one bit.
“Are you having fun?” Marcus whispered into my ear.
I nodded as I gave him a small smile.
This was going to be a very long night.
After two more Long Islands and three awkward conversations about Marcus’s Aunt Dolores, I decided that enough was enough and stood.
It took me a moment to orient myself from my drunkenness. “I’m going to pee,” I announced, and I didn’t wait for an answer as I walked outside.
“Evy, wait,” Gabe called out, following me.
“I swear to God, Gabe, if he talks about his aunt Dolores one more time, I’m going to hurl a bottle on the wall.”
Gabe’s face scrunched up. “Stop being dramatic. I’ll admit the Aunt Dolores story was boring, but you can’t have the best of both worlds, chica. He is cute, decent, and safe.”
“What if I didn’t want safe?” I mumbled under my breath.
“Oh, sorry.” A soft body crashed into me from the side as I passed through the hallway.
My shoulders hit Gabe as I tried to steady myself. “It’s okay,” I said to a mass of black hair in my face.
I heard a quiet giggle before she straightened up, rolling her body to face me.
And she screamed.
I couldn’t help but scream back.
“The fuck,” Gabe screamed too. A couple making out in the hallway stopped their session to cast us a “they are probably nutheads” look.
“Evy! What are you doing here?” Lily cried out.
“Lily, I can’t believe you’re here.” We both clutched each other, jumping like idiotic fools who hadn’t just seen each other yesterday.
“Wait, I want in too,” Gabe moaned.
I pulled back from Lily and wobbled till I held the wall for support. “OMG! Lily, meet my best friend, Gabe!”
“Hello! Evy’s best friend.” She grinned like a fool, gesturing to her. “I’m Evy’s best friend too.”
Gabe squealed. “We both are Evy’s best friend.” And soon, we all broke into a fit of laughter for no apparent reason that lasted for a good minute.
God, we were so drunk.
“Evy, you should come upstairs. It’s so boring with the guys.”
My body froze, and a bit of the happy booze plummeted to the floor in an instant. The guys meant Jay was here. And he was the last person I wanted to see tonight, especially after everything that transpired between us this morning.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Lily,” I said softly.
“Don’t worry about my brother, Evy. If he’s an ass, I’ll put him in his place.”
“I-I…”
“Wait, you are THE Lily! That means your brother is J.J. Does that mean the Four Foxes are here? The same place as me.” Gabe cut in, clapping his hands in excitement.
“Yes.” Lily giggled softly.
Gabe grabbed my hand, shaking me. “Evy, this is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for me. I swear I’m never going to have a chance to meet the Four Foxes ever in my life. I mean, when do you think I’ll ever have a chance to meet the rock god in real life ever again.”
I shook my head. “Trust me, he doesn’t want to meet us.”
“Lily said it’ll be fine. Please, Evy. Please,” Gabe pleaded, giving me his puppy dog eyes, and I couldn’t help but relent.
“Fine.” I blew out a breath.
“Yay,” Lily and Gabe both squealed, enveloping me in a bear hug. And I needed more alcohol to face the devil that held my heart upstairs.
“Guy, what are you doing here? You’ve been gone forever?” Rory frowned.
Gabe detached himself from us, telling the exciting news to him while Lily dragged me upstairs.
The guards immediately let us in, nodding to someone behind us. I frowned, turning around to see that it was Tyler. I didn’t even realize he was following us the whole time. I guess he was here to keep an eye on Lily.
I could feel the tether in my heart pulling with each step I took. He was there; I could feel it.
The room upstairs was darker, shrouded in a cloud of smoke and the music was a low thud and more tasteful than the rest. A circular window surrounded the entire room, giving a bird’s-eye view to the downstairs floor. Three poles stood in the center; women dressed in the tiniest pieces of clothes glimmering with glitters all over their bodies were sprawled over the poles in positions I could never even dream of achieving. The crowd felt more elite as if you could smell the money in the air.
My eyes couldn’t help but drag to the man reclining in the crescent-shaped leather lounge, looking oh-so devious, dressed in pure black. As if he could sense me, his eyes flashed straight to mine. They widened a fraction but returned to his signature hard stare.
My breath hitched as a chill washed over me, and the air felt colder.
I averted my gaze to the tiny, slender hand perfectly manicured with long, elaborate sharp claws clutching the pads of his leather jacket. An intrusive thought hit me—the exhilarating feeling of breaking every single bone in that hand
I suppressed the urge as we all walked up to them.
Mikey noticed me and immediately got up, bypassing Lily like she didn’t even exist to envelop me in a hug.
“E, fuck! What are you doing here?”
I shrugged as I hugged him back.
Gabe stood stupefied, starstruck as he gaped. His eyes moved from Mikey to Jay to Matt and back to Mikey over and over again.
I sighed, introducing both Rory and Gabe to Mikey, who thankfully welcomed them with open arms. Even Matt and Jay shook their hands, greeting them with a smile reserved for their fans.
I exhaled a breath of relief, glad Jay didn’t say anything. Soon, we all huddled up in the lounge, and our drinks were served to the table. I stuck to Lily’s side to escape his glare, but that was impossible, given that he was sitting directly in front of me. The bimbo in his arms was slowly clawing her way up his body. If she kept it up, she would soon end up on his lap.
But he didn’t spare her a glance as he looked straight at me. And if I said that it didn’t bother me, it would be an understatement.
His eyes drifted to Lily, narrowing into thin slits. “Lily, you know very well not to bring strangers up here,” he said in a cold voice.
The relief from earlier was replaced with anger as I felt every single muscle in my body tensing up at his words.
I looked straight at him. “I’m not a stranger. I’m your ex,” I snapped at the same time Lily said, “She is not a stranger. She’s my friend.”
His jaw clenched; the muscles ticked with annoyance but he didn’t say anything.
“Don’t mind him. He thinks he’s above everyone.” Lily placed her hand on my thigh, smiling softly.
I nodded, gripping my drink and taking a huge swig.
And soon everything went back to normal. Well, as normal as things can be. I kept drinking every single drink thrown my way while I gossiped with Lily. And Gabe was talking Mikey’s and Matt’s ears off, and the latter even gave a small smile that surprised me. And Jay ignored us the whole time, too focused on the hand on his chest. I still wanted to break it into a million little pieces.
After several drinks, I was shaking on the edge of my seat, needing to pee. I grabbed Gabe’s hand, pulling him away from everyone to guide me because everything was blurry at this point.
“Evy, I can’t believe I met the Four Foxes because of you. Being your friend finally paid off,” Gabe squealed as I left the restroom.
“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” I rolled my eyes at him.
“I mean, did you see them? They were all so hot and sexy! If I wasn’t with Rory, I would definitely bag one of them.”
I yawned, too tired and drunk to even reply to him. But in typical Gabe fashion, he continued.
“And I can’t believe you’ve seen one of them naked. I totally get it now! I was even drooling at one point. That’s one fine specimen of a man, Evy. Too bad you had to go screw things up.”
I sighed. “I didn’t do it on purpose. Remember, Gabe?” I mumbled. “I think I’m actually gonna go home. I’m too tired.”
“What, no!” he moaned.
In the haze, I could see a familiar figure approaching us.
Marcus.
“Evy, Gabe, I’ve been looking all over for you. I stepped outside for a second, and then you all disappeared.”
Gabe nudged me toward him, and with my two left feet, I fell on Marcus’s arm.
“Actually, Evy was just telling me that she wanted to go home. Would you be a kind gentleman and call her a cab?”
Marcus held my shoulder, pulling me to his side and linking his arms with mine. “Of course, I’ll take care of her.”
Gabe grinned, wiggling his fingers as he bid me goodbye.
My face scrunched up. “Gabe, no. Don’t leave me alone.” But I was too drunk to protest further as Marcus dragged me away.
The loud music hit my ears again as we landed downstairs, and Marcus led me through the throng of bodies but the opposite way.
I looked at him, confused. “I thought we came in that way.” I pointed at the entrance that was soon becoming farther and farther away from me.
Through my blurry vision, I could see him smile. “Don’t worry, Evy. The back entrance is less crowded.” He rubbed his hand along my arm.
I nodded. Who was I to know anything about this club?
A guy standing by the huge door in the back gave us a smirk as Marcus led me through it. A blast of cold air hit me right in the face, freezing up my bones.
I folded my arms, huddling closer to find some warmth as I leaned against a wall.
It looked like we were in some kind of alley. A dark, dungy alley. And I didn’t like alleys one bit.
“Umm, can you call the cab? It’s so cold out here.”
Marcus pulled his body closer to mine, his hand stroking my hips.
I smiled nervously as I tried to pull back, only to realize there was a wall behind me. “I can call it myself.” I fumbled through my purse, trying to find my phone, but it was so hard since everything appeared in twos. God, I was so drunk.
A hand snaked its way up to my purse, pulling it away from me. “Come on, there’s no rush for that, Evy.” He closed in on me.
A tiny sense of fear slithered up my nerves. I gripped my purse, holding it against my chest while my other hand pressed against his shoulder, pushing him back. I could feel a bead of sweat forming down my spine.
“No, I want to go home.” My voice came out jittery as I trembled against the wall. I blinked back the dots forming at the edges of my vision. God, how drunk was I?
“Come on, don’t be a stuck-up bitch.” He gripped my purse and threw it away. The contents of it went tumbling everywhere.
“What are you doing?” I croaked out as he made himself flush with my body despite my efforts to push him back.
My weak arms could only do so much against his forceful grip. I wiggled. “No, let me go!”
His hand pinched my cheeks as his wild eyes peered at me. “Shut the fuck up, bitch!” He dove in, trying to press his mouth against mine.
My heart thudded in my chest, the helplessness setting in as I fought against his hold. “No, I don’t want to. Let me go!” I screamed.
“She said no, motherfucker,” thundered a familiar voice.
Uh-oh.