Chapter 36 #2
Then he asks me, “Can you adjust the pillows, Hallie?”
I walk over and rearrange the pillows under his leg. His eyes start to droop.
“You look tired,” I tell him.
“Yeah,” he says. “I wanted to talk, though.”
“We will,” I say.
“You should go to the game,” he mumbles.
“I don’t want to leave you alone,” I admit.
“I’ll be fine. I’m just going to nap.”
“I’ll come back after the game.”
“It’s going to be Grand Central Station in here.”
“Your favorite,” I tease, leaning in and placing a kiss on his cheek.
He smiles up at me, cupping my face in his hand. “I’ll see you after the game,” he says with a yawn.
“Okay,” I say. “I’ll see you.”
I shut the door behind me and run my hand over the spot where he just held my face. Then I drive to the ball field. This game matters to Mia. She’s so excited to be in the playoffs. I tear my thoughts away from Greyson so I can focus on the Llamacorns.
The stands are full when I arrive for the game. People are waving poster board signs, cowbells and pompoms. I take my seat between Mom and Avery. Then I notice Jonathan on the other side of Mom.
“He insisted on coming,” Mom says. “You share a TV with a man and next thing you know, they think they can come to your granddaughter’s games.”
Avery leans over. “How are you holding up?”
“Okay. Greyson’s set up on his couch. He’s watching the game through FaceTime.”
“I didn’t ask about him,” she nudges my knee with hers. “I asked about you.”
“Give me a few days to get back to you. Okay?”
She wraps her arm around my shoulders and pulls me into a hug.
The game proves to be a good distraction. I wear out my vocal cords shouting, “Go Llamacorns!” and we win in the sixth and final inning with Mia hitting the winning home run and sending another runner home from second.
The girls gather around the cell phone being used to FaceTime Greyson and shout, “We won!”
Avery tells me, “I’ll take Mia to Greyson’s and catch up with you there. Then she and I will find something to do so you’re free to stay or leave.”
I just nod, thanking her. Then I give Mia another congratulatory hug and say goodbye to Mom and Jonathan.
Greyson’s driveway is full of cars and trucks when I pull in. Some I recognize. Others I don’t. I knock, but no one answers. Voices spill onto the porch. I open the door and step into the living room teeming with people.
Greyson turns his head and sees me. “Help,” he mouths quietly.
I giggle softly, making my way through the crowd to his spot on the couch.
“What can I do for you?” I ask him.
“Set off the smoke detectors?”
I laugh.
Dustin walks over. “Man, you have more people in here than were at my last gig.”
Greyson grumbles something about it being too people-y.
He glances around the room and his eyes soften.
Mia and Avery show up about a half-hour after I do.
Everyone congratulates Mia on her win. She sits on the coffee table facing Greyson.
“We’re going to the championships, Coach G!” she says to Greyson. “You’ll be there, won’t you?”
“I will,” Greyson answers her. “My doctor said I have to lie around for a few days just to be careful. After that, I’ll be back in action.”
There’s another knock. Winona’s head pops in the front door. “Yoo hoo! I’m here for home health …” Her words stop and she looks around. “What is this? A party?”
She looks at Greyson. “I’m not sure you should have this many people over your first day out of the hospital. My supervisor advised that you rest.”
“By all means, clear the room,” Greyson says.
Winona puts her fingers to her mouth and whistles one of those piercing two-finger whistles. Conversations come to a halt. The room stills.
“Everybody!” Winona says with her hand on her hip. “As the home health nurse, I’m going to have to ask you to clear out. Greyson needs his rest. Shoo, shoo, shoo!”
People glance at one another, then, miraculously, start to walk toward the doorway, stopping to wish Greyson well and telling him to call them if he needs anything on their way out.
Avery says, “I’m going to take Mia for a celebratory ice cream. Meet you back at your place, Hallie.”
I look down at Mia and ask, “Is that okay?”
“Is ice cream okay? Mommy. Ice cream is always okay.”
I chuckle. “Okay. I’ll meet you two at home.”
And then it’s just me, Greyson and Winona left in the house.
Greyson looks at Winona. “You’re hired.”
Winona smiles. “Well, I obviously was already hired. If I weren’t I wouldn’t be here telling everyone to leave.” She looks around. “Now, I need to see your meds.”
“They’re in the kitchen on the counter next to the fridge,” I tell her.
“I’ll just go look at them, then,” she says. “When was the last time you changed that ice pack?”
“It’s time,” Greyson says.
“Hand it over,” Winona says, sticking her hand out. “I’ll be in the kitchen. Twenty on. Twenty off. I’ll be back in twenty.”
“Okay,” Greyson says, smiling with amusement at Winona.
Then, looking at me he says, under his breath, “Finally.”
Winona pauses mid-stride. “And how are you holding up, Hallie?”
“I’m good,” I tell her.
Winona walks over to me and pulls me into a spontaneous hug.
Then she steps back and looks over at Greyson.
“Don’t mind me. I’ll just be doing nursing things.
Nurse-assistant things.” Her face scrunches in confusion and she glances around the room.
“Only, there’s no nurse here for me to assist.” She bobs her head once.
“Well, never mind. I’ll just do the job.
Maybe a nurse will show up later and I can assist her when she does. ”
Greyson chuckles.
Twenty minutes. I look at my phone. Even though I’ve only known Winona for a short time, I can already tell twenty minutes means twenty minutes.
I take a deep breath and walk over to the couch, sitting on the coffee table facing Greyson from the spot where Mia had been sitting.
“So,” we both say in unison. And then we laugh an uncharacteristically awkward laugh.
“Go ahead,” Greyson says, his eyes on mine, ice blue, intense, and focused.
“Okay,” I say, taking another deep breath and letting it out while my shoulders drop. “I know you’ve been through a lot in the past few days.”
He nods, reaching for my hand. I let him grab it.
Touching him feels like coming home. I wrap my fingers around his hand, holding on like he’s my lifeline.
“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking,” he says softly.
“About us,” I say the words as a statement, not a question.
“About my life. About what you need.”
I’m silent, giving him room to speak.
“Ever since we started seeing one another,” he says. “I pictured us building a life. I told myself to be patient. When Mia was ready, we’d move forward.”
He squeezes my hand. I force myself to keep breathing.
“And now … she might be ready,” I say, my voice barely a whisper.
“Yes. That’s what I thought too.” His smile grows. “When she said she wished I were her dad …”
“She meant that,” I tell him. Then I say what’s on my mind. Our time is short. I can’t beat around the bush. “And it scared you.”
“No.” He shakes his head. “I’d love to be her dad. Or stepdad. Whatever label. I’d love to partner with you—raising her.”
These are the words I’ve longed to hear—from him. But his face is stern, even though his eyes are kind.
“But?” I ask.
“But I realized something.” He shifts, winces, and then he says.
“The accident shed a light on reality.” His brows draw in.
“Why didn’t I see this sooner?” he shakes his head.
“All along you said Mia can’t afford to get attached and lose me.
She could have lost me. She could lose me.
One day, I could be on a call and in a second she’d lose another man in her life. ”
“Greyson.” I reach my other hand out, the one he’s not holding, and run my hand down his cheek, cupping his jaw.
Of course he’s not questioning us. How could I ever have thought he was? He’s trying to protect us—as always.
“I’m going to say something to you,” I say. “And I want you to just think about it. Don’t respond or answer me right now.”
He nods.
“If there’s one thing I’ve learned since Mia was born it’s that life is risk. Love is risk.”
His lips thin as if I’m sharing a platitude instead of a hard-earned life lesson. “And what’s crazy is how quickly I forgot that since you and I started reconnecting. I let my fear of what might happen to Mia overshadow everything.
“It took her saying what she did yesterday in your hospital room for me to realize how strong she really is. I can’t protect her from everything. And I shouldn’t protect her from a relationship with you—or from seeing me happy with a man I love.”
His face softens.
“I choose you, Greyson.” I run my hand down his cheek. “Mia chooses you.”
His brows draw higher, knitting together as if my words hurt him somehow.
I don’t hold back. I need him to hear this. “The question is whether you choose us. If you back off now—out of fear that we might lose you, you'll be putting us through the very thing you're trying to protect us from.
“We’d lose you before we even got to have you. Only it would be because you left—not because you died saving someone's life.”
“I wouldn’t step away because you mean too little,” he says, his voice gruff. “I’d do it because you mean too much.”
“You’d be protecting us,” I say.
“Exactly.” He nods, shutting his eyes and opening them again.
“And giving up something you want in the process.”
“Yes.” He agrees. “Something I want more than I ever wanted anything.”
“Twenty minutes!” Winona shouts, coming around the corner from the kitchen. “Time to put your ice pack on, Greyson.”
I pull my hand back from his and make room for Winona to step closer.
My heart sinks like a weight into my belly.
Greyson’s eyes meet mine in a look that tells me he’s made up his mind, even though both our hearts will be broken in the process.