Chapter Eleven #4
Divine above, this was bordering on cringy. Yet she could not keep the bound from her steps as she headed to their room to find Seth. How she would hide this from him, she wasn’t sure, but she needed to if she wanted to keep peace with him.
Sera opened the door and shirked off her coat.
“Where’d you run off to—oh my god, you’re in love.”
Sera opened her mouth to argue, but no sound came out. How did he possibly know so quickly?
“You think I’d miss the saunter in your steps? That lovesick grin on your face?” He teased. Sera scrubbed at her cheeks. “You think I can’t smell exactly who you’ve been with all this time?”
Her dread couldn’t quite overshadow her elation. “I am your friend first, Seth. I promise.”
He laughed and then got up to throw his arms around her. “It’s not like I didn’t see it coming. You two are not subtle.”
“You’re not furious? You’re not going to… leave me for Varian?”
Seth pushed her to arm’s length, eyes narrowed. “We are not a couple, Sera. You do know I only love you as a friend?”
Sera pouted, lowering her head, but his warm hands on her shoulders were reassuring. “But if you go off with Varian, you’re not going to bring me along, are you?”
Seth’s face wrinkled with disgust. “Gods, I hope not. I love you, Sera, but I don’t really want you, you know, watching or anything.”
She pushed his chest, the gesture light and teasing. “That is not what I meant.”
“I’m not sure you know what you meant. You’re worried I’ll leave you, but you’re head over heels for Kieran North and I’m not worried you’ll leave me. I am quite happy to be left out of that arrangement. Please. Leave me out of it.”
“But you’re my only friend, Seth. Protecting you is…
it’s what made me want to be better.” Sera’s limbs trembled.
She tried not to think of Gideon, of how she had begged him stay when he enlisted.
How he had assured her it would be fine and he’d still take care of her, but then she didn’t see him for two years and by then, she was already very much entrenched in her chosen path.
“Sera, honey.” Seth cupped her face in his heated palms. “That is bullshit and you know it.” He released her face. “You can’t fix yourself for me. Or what happens if, I don’t know, I die? You can’t hinge your progress on someone else. Not even North. You have to do it for you.”
He was right of course but that didn’t mean it would be that simple. She hadn’t changed for herself in the thirty-four years before she found Seth. It wasn’t likely she’d find a way to do it now.
“And you’re ready for the attention right? Even if you weren’t human, North is known. His name holds power and recognition. You’re going to be the human with a very influential Winter Fae.”
“I know. And I’d rather not be in the spotlight, obviously, but I also don’t much care what people think. He doesn’t seem to be bothered by whispers or gossip, so I won’t be either.”
He kissed her forehead. “Alright then. Now that business is out of the way, you gotta tell me everything. Like one to ten how was he?”
Sera blinked through tears as she laugh-hiccupped. “We didn’t get that far. We were interrupted.”
“So, you’re in love with him and you haven’t even tried the product?”
She shook her head as the tears just kept falling. Down her cheeks, onto her dress, into her mouth.
Seth’s eyes were big as he tried to make sense of the admission. “Damn. He must be some kisser. I was definitely not feeling his stoic ice vibes, but if it’s that good I may have to throw my lot in. Hope you don’t mind some competition.”
She continued to dance between laughter and sobbing, alternating giggles with deep breaths.
“I’ll just borrow some of your perfume and slip into his bed while he’s sleeping.
‘Hey,’” Seth’s voice rose to a very poor imitation of hers, “’I’m fucking freezing, but Seth thinks its insane that I’m madly in love with you after only a kiss.
I think I need another just to be sure.’ And then I’ll freeze to death never knowing the power of Kieran North’s magic mouth. ”
They were both laughing now, doubled over and falling onto the beds.
They spent the day laughing, gossiping, and playing games—the normal kind with cards and laughter.
She told him about her promotion and the prospect of a real salary.
Her excitement about going to her first ball and being fitted for a tailor-made dress.
It was like those first weeks when Sera had been trying to cheer him up and hadn’t stopped making jokes until she earned a laugh.
For the first time in… ever, Sera’s future didn’t appear so daunting.
—
In the middle of the night, Sera woke to the distant roar of thunder. Tossing and turning she got up and went to the door. She had no real plan, no goal, but she knew that she was drawn to be anywhere but here.
To be with him.
She set out for Kieran’s bedchamber, attempting to remember the way in the dark. When she found the right hallway, she stopped.
What if he doesn’t want you there? The guy hardly gets any rest as it is.
You could jeopardize this whole thing if you act impulsively.
Last time you were in his room uninvited you were arrested.
Sera bit her lip and turned around, heading back to her room. She threw herself under the covers and tried to think about literally anything else.
Kieran stared at his ceiling. He lay on top of the blankets, never fully settling into bed. He turned and thought of Sera. He turned the other way and thought of Sera. He got up and paced, thinking of Sera.
The distant peels of thunder started to retreat and Kieran redressed and threw open his door.
He strode down the hall, the familiar path to Sera’s room, and then stopped.
Once again, he could not bring himself to knock.
So much for control and integrity. At the moment, he’d trade all the control in the world just to hold Sera while he slept.
He set his forehead on the door, cursing his weakness. Then he left so he could once again fail to get any real sleep.