19. Harlan
19
HARLAN
I hear their footsteps before I see them, their breathing ragged with anger instead of exertion, and I welcome it.
“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Beau says as he slams his palms against my chest, forcing me back a step. I’d been anticipating a punch—craved the pain.
Needed the pain to remind me how to breathe.
But it didn’t come.
The drive back from Winston’s had alternated from everything is going to work out to why the fuck would he give me a second chance?
I’d landed on the latter, and I needed Beau to knock some sense into me.
Literally.
I’d sent Reid’s cousins a text on the way back to the farm, asking them to meet me. Wren had done the honors of telling them what an absolute bastard I am, and she wasn’t wrong.
I’d fucked up.
And now I need them to help me get Reid back.
“He is the best . You should be so damn lucky to even be in his orbit, and you just fucking tossed him away,” Beau seethes, inches from my face. His eyes are wild, his body vibrating tension. It would be so easy to provoke him, but it would be just another thing for Reid to be disappointed in me for.
And right now, that list was longer than I could make up for in this lifetime.
“He’s not going to fight you,” Jesse says knowingly, and I hate that I’m that transparent. I’ll take the hit, but I won’t return it and I sure as hell won’t start it.
I’m not the same man that I was when I arrived in Wintervale. This town has taken down my carefully constructed walls one brick at a time until I am open and vulnerable and now figuratively bleeding over the loss of a man I’d barely gotten the chance to love.
“He damn well should!” Beau growls, but it’s Lake who pulls the eldest Sterling brother back from me.
“Was it worth it?” Jesse asks, his tone devoid of judgment as his head tilts to the side.
“No,” I rasp.
“He wasn’t worth it or breaking his heart wasn’t?” Beau snarls.
“You have no idea what I’ve been through,” I bite out.
“You have no idea what he’s been through!”
“Beau,” Lake says, pulling his brother back another step before turning his gaze to me. “You really don’t though.” I open my mouth to speak but Lake shakes his head. “It sucks when the best person you know—the one with the biggest heart—is continuously taken advantage of. You’re right; we don’t know what you’ve been through, but you’ve treated Reid the same way every single man who’s come before you has.”
My fists clench, not only at the implication of his words, but at the idea that a line of men have been gifted Reid’s light and thrown it away. I had, not because I wanted to, but because I had to.
Or I thought I did.
“That was never my intention, dammit,” I snap.
“Feel like my cousin deserves something stronger than dammit ,” Beau grunts, making Lake turn his indignation on his brother.
“Would you quit it? You already had your chance to hit him so get over it.”
Beau waves his hand in my direction. “Can’t hit a guy who wants to get hit.” He grins at me but it’s more manic than amused. “Takes the fun out of it.”
Beau’s reaction is surprising, his rage justified but so out of character for the man I’ve worked with nearly every day. Part of me is glad that Reid has someone so passionately on his side, and the other hopes I never have to face Beau down again because no doubt, Lake won’t hold him back if there’s a next time.
He said as much.
Rolling his eyes, Jesse moves around his brothers, lowering his voice. “Do you have any idea how brave Reid is? How completely in awe I am of him for going after what he wants even though he’s been shown time and time again that people are so undeserving of him? He’s never asked for anything other than for someone to show him the same love and respect he gives so freely.” He swallows hard. “He wants to be loved, Harlan. He fucking deserves it.”
“I’m going to fix it,” I say with more confidence than I feel.
“But do you love him?” Jesse asks. “I won’t help if you’re gonna up and leave in a month’s time.”
“Choose wisely, because I’m only holding Beau back once,” Lake says in a way that means he’s serious but also kind of hopes he can unleash his brother on me.
I watch them watch me, and the strangest feeling of contentment washes over me. If I can win Reid back, I’ll be getting not only him but them as well—his family.
Well, most of them. Beau might take years to sway, but I want it more than anything because Reid is worth every side-eye and snide comment in my future.
“I won’t tell you before him,” I say, skirting the question. It might as well have been an admission considering the way three pairs of eyes widen as they stare at me. Matching smirks hitch up the corners of their mouths and they nod.
It’s weird.
But it could be worse.
And thank God for that because I don’t have time for worse. I only have a couple of hours before I can convince the man who stole my heart that he’s it for me.
That I love him.
And he’s mine.