EPILOGUE
Harvey
Eight months later . . .
“I can’t believe we live together!” Claire says as we continue unpacking the day after our move-in. “Our own place.” Her eyes are glowing, and it truly warms my heart to see her this way.
She hugs me tightly, and I don’t let go of her. I can’t express how much love I feel for her. It grows every day in different ways, even when she pisses me off during arguments.
“Yeah, finally.” I smile, pushing her hair back from her face.
We purchased a new home together in the suburbs. Another bungalow—all cozy like Claire wanted it.
We moved yesterday, and we hired movers to help move Henrik back into his condo and us into this new place. I might be walking a lot more now, and I use my wheelchair a lot less, but that doesn’t mean I can start walking around freely and quickly while lifting heavy boxes.
I’m not sure that will ever happen. Perhaps so, but maybe not.
Only time will tell.
It felt good saying goodbye to my old house, the one that was given to me by my parents as a result of the accident.
I know that moving wasn’t easy for Claire. Seeing her get teary-eyed as she hugged her mom and Audrey goodbye wasn’t easy to watch, but growing up is part of life.
“Now we get to go shopping,” Claire says eagerly, and I shake my head, excited for this new journey together.
I’m glad we saved up our money and decided to do this. It’s a big step, but I’ve been ready for it since she became my girlfriend. I just didn’t want to push her until she felt I had proven to her that my past was truly behind me.
“Oh, joy,” I say, and she jokingly narrows her eyes at me. “I’m serious, I can’t wait.”
We keep unpacking, and I’m in my wheelchair. This way I can move around a lot faster and avoid injuries. Besides, I’m seriously exhausted from planning the move and the move itself.
Eventually, Claire heads to the grocery store, and luckily, Henrik shows up to help me out.
“Finished with all your stuff?” I ask him when I greet him. He didn’t bring much with him when he moved into my old place, so I’m sure he’s done unpacking already.
“Pretty much.”
“Well, thanks for the help. You honestly don’t have to, you know.”
“Don’t even mention it,” he says with a joint tucked behind his ear.
“Hen…” I clear my throat. “I’ve been meaning to thank you for everything you’ve done for me over the years. I can’t even—”
“Come on…no need to thank me.”
“But I do.” I swallow, looking at my hands. “Also, for putting your life on hold and moving in with me.” He snorts at my comment, and I continue. “You didn’t have to do that, but I’m glad we got to live together again.”
Watching movies, gaming, sitting in the backyard, eating pizza and drinking beer, laughing and cooking.
“Well, shit, man, now you’re gonna make me cry. Why do you always have to make me cry ?” he jokes dramatically.
I throw one of the cushions from our assembled couch at him, and he dodges it, giving me the finger.
He laughs, then says a little more seriously, “I love you, man.”
“I love you too, idiot” is my reply.
Claire
Over a year later . . .
I always dreamed of a fall wedding!
Something about the drop in temperature and the ever-changing leaves and the idea of staying inside, reading by the window, warms my heart.
Claire Edwards is officially Mrs. Stark.
We’ve been back from our honeymoon for a week now, and I’m still pinching myself. We rented a cottage for a month and just enjoyed our new lives together as newlyweds.
The last thing Harvey wanted for our honeymoon was the joyful experience of traveling as a disabled man and all the difficulties it entails.
I still can’t believe we’re married.
I wore a simple square-neck satin dress that was fitted yet allowed me to move around easily.
My mom, Audrey, and I cried a lot.
I was a mess before the ceremony—I shed more than a few tears, and I was terribly anxious. But once I walked down the aisle toward Harvey, all my nerves drifted away.
I was more than excited to marry him.
We had a small wedding with our families and a few friends. It made it more intimate, and I loved that I got to spend time with everyone throughout the night.
Harvey was so nervous about standing up that he brought his crutches. He usually needs them for longer distances or if he has to stand for a long period of time.
And his wheelchair is often nearby just in case.
“Why are you so gorgeous?” Harvey whispers in my ear, his arms going around my waist as I make a carrot cake.
I turn around and look him up and down, checking him out. “Have you seen yourself, Mr. Stark?”
I give Harv a kiss, and I walk toward the cabinets to retrieve the cinnamon. I’m surprised when I turn around and Harvey’s right there, facing me, smirking.
He baffles me sometimes.
For him to be able to walk toward me stably is otherworldly. Though he still has a certain limp to his walk that he’s bothered by.
He sighs. “I get to walk into the kitchen and see my wife in this cute little black dress, baking a cake for us, and I can’t help being so happy , Claire, that I get to experience this with you,” he murmurs, taking it all in, everything around us, every feature of my face. “I know you think you’re only baking a cake, but to me, it’s you taking the time to do something for us, to show that you care, and it just… Thank you.”
I stare at him, mesmerized, and for some reason, his appreciation makes me emotional.
He kisses my forehead and tells me that he never knew what home felt like until he moved in with me.
“ Harv… ” I grab his face and kiss him with a rush I can’t explain. My heart blossoms and opens up even further for my husband.
I love him so much.
Sometimes I look at him and my heart bursts with joy and admiration. The things he does and says make me beyond excited for our future.
I kiss him as if I’ll stop breathing if I can’t keep his lips on mine.
I kiss him and empty all these emotions into him, hoping he understands how grand my love for him is.
I cherish this man with every cell of my being.
Over the years, I’ve watched him transform his life and turn it around, and I’m so glad I got to be his chosen one.
Because he’s mine as well.
I had marriage and eternity in my mind the moment I saw him.
We continue to kiss against the wall, and he lifts my dress up, teasing my thighs until he reaches the waistband of my underwear. He’s moving his fingers in circles over the most sensitive part of me, delaying the satisfaction of having his hand in my panties. I’m breathless and begging after just moments, and then he finally pushes them down and they fall to my ankles.
I kick them away.
I wait, anticipating his next move.
He licks his fingers and touches me directly, yet he’s wasting precious time because all I want right now is for him to undress and shove himself inside of me.
Eventually, he does.
I stare at our ring fingers, and I’m getting more aroused by the sight of his wedding band.
I love this man.
I love everything he does for me, for us.
I love that he’s mine.
“Claire, I love you.” He thrusts into me with a steady rhythm, holding my neck in a gentle yet protective manner.
I moan into his mouth as he kisses me again, my hands weaving through his blond hair. He has one arm above my head, holding on to the cabinet door handle to remain steady on his feet.
I don’t doubt how much this means to him—that he can do this standing against the wall. I wonder if he feels euphoric in this moment because of it.
I bring his lips as close to mine as I can, holding on to his jaw for dear life. Tears gather in my eyes, and I let them fall.
I’m happy with him.
And I’m proud of him.
An amazing feeling expands in my chest as my head moves sporadically with each thrust. Then he stops when he notices my tears.
“Are you okay?”
“Don’t stop.” I kiss his lips, striving for everything and all he can give me.
He keeps going, one hand holding on to my waist, then sliding down, his fingers gripping my upper thigh. “Argh.” This feral sound releases from him, and I know I’m about to let go soon.
I can’t take this.
Him taking care of me like this, against the wall, as my husband. I notice his hair and his eyes and his five-o’clock shadow and the sweat on his upper body and the sounds coming out of his mouth, and I reach this heavenly place outside of my body as I let go and unleash my orgasm.
I’m blissful.
I’m cherished.
My soul is bursting with calming energy.
Harv lets go himself shortly thereafter, and I can’t describe the feeling when he releases inside of me.
We’re both staring at each other, and I smile.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, kissing my cheek with a heavy-lidded look of satisfaction on his face.
“Nothing. I just feel so much love for you.”
Harvey
A few years later . . .
I’m walking down the grocery store aisle, pushing a small cart toward the protein powder section on a hot summer day.
I’m assuming that everyone’s outside enjoying the weather because the store’s pretty empty, not that I’m complaining.
Claire sent me to get a few items for tonight. We’re having Henrik and Audrey over for dinner, since my parents are on vacation and Claire’s mom is away for work. I swear, Hen doesn’t pass up an opportunity to see my newborn son, Finn, now that he’s an uncle.
Other than having our immediate families over to help care for us and the baby, this is our first time hosting as a family of three.
I know Claire’s nervous, and all I want to do is reduce her stress.
Which is why I’m here.
I’m checking out the ingredients of this protein product on sale when I notice her out of the corner of my eye first—Gemma.
I haven’t seen her since our last goodbye.
“Gemma,” I say, seeing her pick up another powder.
“Harv—” She seems caught off guard as I walk toward her on my crutches, leaving my small cart behind.
When I get closer, I see the astonishment on her face as she looks me up and down, as if in complete disbelief that I’m walking in a grocery store.
“You did it. You really did it!” She lets go of her cart and quickly walks over to me, throwing her arms around my neck.
“Gemma,” I say softly, not knowing what else to say.
She pulls back and says, “Harvey, you’re walking!” She laughs and shakes her head. “Henrik didn’t tell me.”
“I told him not to tell anyone.”
I’m glad he didn’t snitch. I asked him to keep my stuff private from Gemma, and I told him that I didn’t want others to know about my mobility improvements.
Setbacks are real in my world, and they happen. It’s one of the things I’ve had to accept about my new life.
Some days are great and pain-free, some aren’t. Some days my legs won’t cooperate and using crutches is a no-go, as they require too much upper body strength to continue using for long periods of time.
I’ve learned to embrace all stages, thanks to my newfound perspective on life, aka Claire, but also thanks to McKleen and Dr. Lee.
“You didn’t want to jinx it.”
I nod. “Yeah. I guess that’s it.”
She’s teary, but I don’t comment on it. It’s obvious she’s pregnant, so that may be part of the reason for the emotion.
“Gemma, don’t cry.”
“I know. Pregnancy, you know?”
“Congratulations on the baby.” I smile, happy for her.
She thanks me, and we talk back and forth about her little boy, Blu—weird-ass name, if you ask me—and my son, Finn.
I can sense the pride I feel as I speak about my son, and he’s literally done nothing but come into this world. And still, he changed our lives. We adore him and his little feet and his big blue eyes.
“Hen told me you were the executive director at the firm.”
“Yeah.” She rubs her stomach. “Some days I want to kill my husband, but overall, we work well together.”
“Well, that’s good. Don’t let him boss you around,” I tell her, not knowing what else to say.
We check out our grocery items at separate cashiers before meeting up again in the parking lot, where I open the trunk of my Jeep to put things away.
“Henrik told me you started going to schools and workplaces to give motivational speeches.”
I scoff, since of course Hen got some of the information wrong. I do go to schools, not workplaces. I place my grocery bags in the trunk of my modified car, taking a sip of my water bottle as I shake my head. “Hen loves that title: motivational speaker.”
The truth is, it all started when McKleen asked me to speak to a group of newly injured patients at the rehab center.
Then another group and so on.
I decided then and there that I liked it—maybe even secretly loved it. If it wasn’t for Claire, I would’ve probably refused McKleen’s offer, but I’m glad I did it.
Somehow that led to one of Claire’s contacts asking me to speak at their school. From there, other schools heard about me and invited me to speak at theirs.
Sometimes I wonder if I’m even the right person to speak to these kids and show them the obstacles I’ve faced. I mean, it’s clear that most of them will never end up like me, but the kids seem to enjoy asking me questions afterward, so maybe I’m helping them more than I think.
But really, they’re helping me—I healed even more once I started helping people.
“I’m happy for you. And I heard about your art. You’re becoming famous,” she teases.
Fucking Hen.
It seems he hasn’t been able to keep everything from Gemma.
I wave her off. “Not even. I’m just doing what I enjoy, I guess.”
I draw, I paint, and I sell my art online. There’s nothing more to it. I’ve been lucky enough to have sold all my drawings so far. It gives me confidence to keep going and do the whole artsy thing my way.
I’m still working at the tattoo parlor, though I’ve recently thought about applying to a teacher’s college to become a teacher. I might even work with my dad again in the meantime to help pay for school. I’m still figuring out my next steps, and I’m okay with that.
“It all worked out, didn’t it?”
She nods. “It really did. Tell Claire I said congratulations.” She turns to leave.
“Gemma?” She stops, and when she spins around, I tell her, “Thank you. Just thank you.”
She walks over to me one more time, and we hug quickly. “I’m so proud of you,” she whispers, and walks away, heading straight to her Tesla.
“How did it feel seeing Gemma again?” asks Dr. Lee during our therapy session that same day.
“Good and awkward.”
“Why did you thank her?”
“I realized over the years, thanks to you”—I grin—“that despite the pain we put each other through, she was there for me after the accident. She took care of me for as long as she could. I was thanking her for that.”
“I see,” Dr. Lee says, which I’ve gathered over the years means, Please continue your monologue. I wish to know more.
Delve deeper.
“Also, in a weird way, if I hadn’t made all those mistakes with her, I wouldn’t have been able to make it right for myself and end up with Claire.”
“Looking back on a painful moment in our life and being able to view it from a different lens is a sign of growth. And, Harvey, what isn’t meant for you will never be for you.”
I nod, agreeing with him.
“Yet I still have my moments. Where I feel weaker than other men.” I swallow, holding back a little. He already knows about Finn.
“Meaning?” he presses.
“Despite the fact that I can walk, I’ll never be able to walk as I would’ve pre-accident. I’ll never be as fast or as stable or able to run . I’m worried about Finn—of robbing him of life experiences. I want to be able to move around with him when he’s older and be there for him.” I clear my throat. “I worry about my wife and the toll that my disability takes on her, even more so now with a baby. There are still ‘dad things’ I can’t do, like fixing things around the house or some shit that I wish so badly I could do. It kills me at times.”
“And yet for most of those things, I’m sure you can use someone else’s services,” Dr. Lee tells me. “Instead, you get to focus on the extra time spent with your family. Harvey, your feelings are perfectly valid and understandable… When you go home later, please look into your wife’s and your newborn son’s eyes and take it all in—how they’re looking at you.”
I chuckle. “Oh, I’ve noticed. Claire seems to love me even more in my father role, and Finn, well, he’s just cute.” Dr. Lee smiles. “I’ll do your homework though—check with a fresh pair of eyes.”
“Good,” he answers earnestly. “How have you been feeling physically?”
“Honestly, I’m thrilled to be using crutches publicly now for longer distances and periods of time, but it’s still challenging,” I tell him. “I ended up with shoulder pain from the constant pressure.” I sigh. “And I keep it all in because I don’t want to bother Claire with my pain. I know this is part of my journey, and I am grateful, but it’s not always easy…”
He listens to me intently. “You might benefit from sharing this with her. She might be more sympathetic than you think.”
“She’s already in tune to all my needs. I don’t want her to burn out because of me. Anyway, time’s up,” I say, checking the time on my phone.
“Harvey, I want to tell you something regarding your earlier thoughts…before our session ends. A lot of my patients have special circumstances in their lives or grew up with family members with special needs or mental illnesses, and guess what I’ve realized? They never loved them any less. To them, it was normal , as you often say.”
I bite my lip, my fingers shuffling on my dark jeans.
Then I shake my head, swallowing, suppressing the rest of my emotions. “Thank you, Dr. Lee.”
“No”—he shakes his head—“thank yourself and your self-growth.”
True, but as he’s taught me, sometimes we all need a little help. And he’s helped me tremendously.
“Look at this cute little shit!” Henrik takes Finn in his arms and hoists him into the air.
“Hen, I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” I advise, as we’re sitting around the dinner table.
“What’s the worst that can happen?” Claire says, grinning as she winks at me. These two have a love-hate relationship where they tease each other to death.
I stay out of it.
Once Claire was back in my life, it didn’t take long for Hen to hit the refresh button with her.
Claire hands him the bottle to feed Finn.
“As cute as he is, you guys aren’t selling parenthood. I mean, look at your eyes.” Audrey shakes her head.
She’s not wrong.
We look tired. We are tired. Despite the help we’ve received from our families with meals and even to give us a break sometimes so we can catch a nap, we’re exhausted. The change in routine itself is tiring. But I wouldn’t change it for the world. I stare at my brother and my son.
I can’t believe Finn’s in my life now.
I stare at Claire, looking stunning in her white sundress. Her hair is pinned up just the way I like it, with whisps falling naturally on either side of her face. She’s wearing her little gold hoop earrings tonight.
She looks even more beautiful to me.
I take it all in—my little family—in awe, counting my blessings. Life would be pretty bland without Henrik and Audrey in it as well.
We listen to Audrey ramble on about her idiot college professors, and by the end of the night, I can tell Claire’s ready for us to be alone again.
Once they leave, I put Finn in the bassinet next to Claire’s side of the bed. She should be using this time to sleep like he is, but I can tell she’s wide awake. It’s hard to force yourself to sleep as much as you can whenever you can as a new parent.
I’m assuming that it’s worse for her—so many worries that must come with motherhood.
Sometimes I wonder if she’s anxious about me holding the baby and not falling or making both of us fall—highly unlikely, though not impossible. I always make sure I’m as stable as possible or near furniture when I do, just in case.
I walk slowly around to my side, and finally I get in bed, lying on my back, as she faces me on her side.
I know what she’s waiting for. I texted her about my run-in with Gemma after I left the grocery store for my appointment. I don’t doubt for a second that it’s been on her mind since, and I didn’t want to discuss it in front of Hen either.
“How did it feel seeing her again?”
I chuckle. “You sound like Dr. Lee.” I tell her about our conversation, and I express some of the things I spoke to Dr. Lee about as well.
When I turn to face her, all I see is understanding and love. Any doubts or insecurities we might’ve had in the past have been replaced with a much stronger trust.
I know that the news must’ve unsettled her, especially after having a baby, but she has no need to worry. I never want to hurt a hair on her head. I never want to tarnish her heart. I hope I can always live up to the man she deserves.
That’s all I want to be.
I want to be the best father and the best husband to my family.
Nothing else in the world matters to me.
Everything else pales in comparison.
“You have nothing to worry about, Claire,” I whisper, and then I kiss her when she moves closer to me.
“I know.” She swallows.
“Claire…I know I thanked Gemma, but I realized I should be thanking you for it all. I attributed her leaving as showing me the darkest parts of myself, and that was necessary for me to end up here. Truly, though, in all ways, if you hadn’t stepped into my life when you did, being you , I wouldn’t be the person I am today. So you’re the real heroine of my story. And I have you to thank for everything .”
“Oh, Harvey!” She shuts me up with a passionate kiss until her body ends up on top of mine and I’m making out with my wife, enjoying the feel of her lips against mine, her breasts against my chest, her magnetic energy spurring us on.
She’s given me— us —her all since we met, and now it’s my turn to be there for her as we dive into parenthood and the rest of our lives together.
— THE END —