Chapter 18
For Willow, seeing Amy standing in her kitchen brought about a complex set of emotions. It was somehow both familiar and strange. This had started out being their kitchen. Since Amy had left Willow had slowly begun the process of seeing the home as her own. Willow had demanded that Angela leave so she could have a private conversation with Amy. Her mother had protested, but eventually relented.
Willow still found Amy attractive, a cruel jest played by nature. Amy stood back, leaning against the refrigerator with her arms crossed. It was the way Amy had always stood when they were in the kitchen together. Now there was something off-putting about the familiarity. Amy was talking about her job and every other mundane topic. But it wouldn’t do.
Willow wished she could call Mel and talk to her. Or even just send her a text, but she refused to involve Mel in her personal dramas. Besides there was nothing to tell her until she and Amy talked.
“Why did you leave me with nothing but a note?” Willow finally asked. Any inhaled a deep breath.
“I was scared,” Amy admitted.
“Scared of what?”
“I was afraid of being settled.”
Willow took a moment to absorb that truth.
“We were together for two years. Weren’t we already settled?” Willow asked.
“Yes, of course. I think in my brain an engagement and wedding just cemented it. Sort of like, no going back now,” Amy answered. She punctuated her words with an airy chuckle. A sure sign that she was nervous.
“But you did go back. You full-on ran away, from us, from me.” Willow could hear the cracking of her own voice. It didn’t bother her, let Amy hear how upset she was.
“I’m back now,” Amy offered.
“But why? After all this time. All it took was my mom finding you to convince you to come back.” Willow threw her hands in the air, confusion washing over her. She would do anything to be wrapped up in Mel’s arms right now.
“I’ve missed you the whole time.”
“Yet you never came back. Why?” Willow accused.
“The longer I was gone the harder it was to come back. I felt so ridiculous giving up on this amazing thing we had. And for what? I ended up alone in a one-bedroom apartment with noisy neighbors.” Amy gave another tiny huff of laughter.
“Sorry your life wasn’t everything you imagined after you left.” Willow spat the words.
“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” Amy insisted.
“I don’t know much of anything anymore. I knew that I loved you and wanted a life together. And then I knew you were gone.”
“What about now? Could we try again?” Amy asked. Willow sighed.
She tried to imagine what it would be like for Amy to come back. For them to build the life together that they had planned. But her brain kept exchanging Amy’s face with Mel’s. Her heart couldn’t lie, it only had feelings for Mel.
“I’m sorry. I don’t feel the same way about you, anymore. I found someone else. She’s amazing and I want a future with her,” Willow admitted.
Amy nodded her head slowly. Willow knew Amy was trying to process her words.
“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. You’re a catch. It was silly to think you’d stay single long,” Amy smirked. Willow gave a small smile of her own.
“I shouldn’t have left. Especially not the way I left,” Amy added. She walked towards the door. Willow made no move to stop her. Amy opened the door and then she was gone.
Willow sank down on her couch. An hour later her Mom came through the door. Angela was in particularly high spirits, all smiles.
“I brought some things for dinner. Will Amy be staying to eat with us tonight?” Willow was reminded yet again that subtlety was not her Mother’s strong suit.
“Mom, sit down,” Willow said, keeping her tone even.
Angela looked at Willow and frowned. She sat down in a chair beside the couch.
“Where’s Amy?”
“She left,” Willow said simply.
“Did something happen?” Angela asked.
“I don’t want to be with Amy. I want to be with Mel. I don’t know if it’s her job or some other mundane thing that caused you not to want me to be with her. But none of those things matter to me. Since I’m the one dating her, that’s the most important thing.”
Angela eyed her for a moment.
“I guess if that’s what you want I won’t try to change your mind,” Angela scowled.
“What could you possibly have against Mel?” Willow asked.
“I don’t have anything against her. You and I haven’t been close since the divorce. I thought that finding this woman you were in love with and helping the two of you reconnect would be a nice thing. I think I underestimated your feelings for Mel. My heart was in the right place. I just don’t always have terrific follow through.”
Willow had to laugh at her mom’s explanation. It was too perfect. Still, she felt a tender spot in her heart for all the unnecessary trouble her mom had gone to on her behalf.
“In the future all I need you to do is support whatever my current relationship is,” Willow advised.
“I guess that’s fair. I’m trying not to be so pushy. It’s hard when I think I know what you should be doing,” Angela insisted. Willow flashed her mother a withering stare.
“But you’re right. I shouldn’t meddle with your personal life,” Angela added.
“That’s all I can ask,” Willow said, allowing a hint of sarcasm to come through her tone.
“What are you going to do now?” Angela asked.
“Text Mel. If there’s one thing talking with Amy showed me, it’s how deep my feelings for Mel truly are.”
“Can I meddle in your life one final time?”
“I guess,” Willow said, she eyed her mother suspiciously.
“Don’t text. Go see Mel in person,” Angela suggested.
Willow nodded her head. Her Mom was right. So much had happened over the last couple days that Willow knew seeing Mel in person was the only way to have the conversation with her that she needed to have. Willow longed to tell Mel how much she’d missed her while she got things sorted out with Amy.
On the way to the cafe Willow picked up some flowers. Seeing Mel at the dog park that morning had almost broken Willow. There had been a look of pain in her eyes that hurt Willow to the core. She knew that convincing Mel to hear her out would be a long shot. She saw Mel through the window of Mallie’s diner and felt her heart thud. What was she even going to say to this wonderful woman?
Willow sighed out loud, startling a couple of old women walking down the street. This was Willow’s chance to be brave. She pushed the door open and took the first step inside. Partially blinded by the sunlight Mel didn’t see Willow. She barreled right into Willow, spilling three plates of food onto her.
“I’m so sorry,” Mel gasped before realizing it was Willow.
“This is getting to be a habit for the two of us,” Willow laughed. She watched as Mel’s features hardened as she recognized Willow.
“I guess that’s true. Lucky for you Amy seems more than capable of interacting with you without any spills.” Willow grimaced. She deserved the words but that didn’t make hearing them any easier.
“Can we talk?” Willow asked. She was suddenly aware of all the people around them.
“I’m working. Besides what’s left to talk about? You told me that you wanted to be with me. You said you loved me. Then as soon as your ex was presented to you all of that went out the window.”
“No, it didn’t. My feelings for you never changed. Please, let’s talk.”
“Fine. You can come over to my place tonight. I need to give you all your stuff that you left over there anyway,” Mel said, there was a tremble in her voice that told Willow that she was more sad than angry. Willow wasn’t sure that was better.
“Okay. I’ll see you tonight,” Willow responded softly.
She left the diner feeling somewhat defeated. The flowers she bought were still in her hands, stems broken by her collision with Mel. There was only one thing she could think to do. Willow pulled out her phone and texted River. She knew her friend would come, because she always came. That was what made River such an incredible friend, she could always count on her to come when she needed her most.