12. Darkest Before the Dawn
CELESTE
“What is the meaning of this?!”
Desiree’s shrieking was not an ideal way to wake up, having become the sound of my anxiety, and I bolted upright. Or at least, as upright as I could considering Wesley’s arm circled my waist in a vice grip for dear life. He was spooning me, his front pressed so snuggly against my back that we might have been wearing the same clothes.
Uh oh.
“Desiree, this isn’t what it looks like!” I stammered. In vain, I tried to pry Wesley’s arm off me or at least jostle him awake, but he only let out a soft snore and tried to burrow deeper into my back. My body was coated with a thin sheen of sweat from his body heat and I realized belatedly that having on only a pair of workout shorts and a cast off sports bra of Hillary’s was not winning me any brownie points in this scenario.
My soon to be stepmother snorted derisively. “I know very well what this is, little girl. This is exactly why I told your father that you needed to be separated from him!”
How can Wesley sleep through this?I thought frantically. Not that any argument from him would help the situation.
“Get up, you little hussy, and get downstairs immediately!” Desiree turned on her heel, black bob spinning, and climbed down the steep stairs, stiletto heels clacking the entire way. No doubt on her way to get the hose.
“WESLEY!” With a violent shove, his arm flew off my torso, rousing him enough that his eyes sleepily blinked open. It would have been adorable were it not for the steaming pile of shit I knew we were both in. Already Desiree’s frantic shouts were starting to echo up from the screen door below.
I leapt up and pulled a random t-shirt from the floor, too scared to care if it was dirty or clean. Yanking open a drawer, I searched for a pair of regular shorts while haphazardly throwing the rest of the drawer’s contents about the room.
“What’s going on?” Wesley’s voice was thick and still laced with sleep.
“Desiree found us!” I hissed at him. “Get up--NOW!”
That made him spring into action. He leapt off the bed to scramble into his shoes, chucking a pair of paint splattered cloth shorts at me from under the bed. I didn’t have time to argue as I pulled them on over my spandex bottoms.
We were both shuffling like maniacs as we tried to adjust our shoes and clothes while clambering down the stairs. Wesley’s shaggy hair was sticking out at all angles, and the wrinkles in his polo and jeans were a dead giveaway of just how long he had spent in the position where Desiree found us. There was no way we were going to come out of this in one piece once Daddy and Nana got a hold of us.
The screen door to the kitchen slammed behind us as we entered, Daddy and Nana both standing at the island with their mouths hanging open as Desiree loudly proclaimed me a harlot and a jezebel for sleeping with a boy at only fifteen. I turned my head to glance down the hall and found Hillary’s crestfallen face taking in the sight of Wesley and me, disheveled and half asleep. Her expression quickly morphed into one of pure loathing that promised revenge, which would have been far more concerning if I wasn’t certain my daddy was about to bury me alive.
Daddy’s shocked face turned to both of us, his mouth agape as he took in the state of our appearance. “Sugar bee…” he murmured in a daze.
“Oh no!” Desiree argued, pointing a finger at him across the island. “Don’t ‘sugar bee’ her and let her out of this, Doug! I caught her with a boy in her bed AT FIFTEEN.”
Wesley shook his head as his face flushed with anger. “Nothing happened, Mr. Hendricks, I swear on Rachel’s life!”
Nana gasped at his choice of words while Daddy’s mouth snapped shut. He peered at Wesley with newfound scrutiny as if he could laser the truth out of him with a single look.
Desiree continued to prattle on, however. “Of course you would say that! Nothing ever happens to a boy’s reputation! You just want her to be another notch on your belt! How many girls were you with this summer while you were out trotting the globe, hmm?!”
Although I should have known better than to rise to Desiree’s bait, her accusation gave me pause. Wesley and I had barely spoken all summer. What if he had been with another girl? Loving me didn’t mean he wasn’t pressured into hooking up with someone because of his lecherous father. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Wesley puff up in rage.
“Nothing happened this summer other than me missing Celeste like crazy!” Wesley barked. “Just like nothing happened last night other than you interrupting my first night back with her!” He turned towards my father, all anger gone. “I absolutely swear to you, Mr. Hendricks, I would never disrespect you or your home like that. I came over to see Celeste last night and we just fell asleep. Nothing more than that.”
Desiree snorted as she folded her arms across her chest. “Yes, that’s obviously why I found Celeste half naked next to him this morning!”
Sparks were flying from Wesley’s eyes and I had to grab onto his wrist as he lunged forward. “She was wearing a sports bra and shorts because you make her sleep in an attic with no air conditioning in summer!”
“ALL RIGHT, THAT’S ENOUGH!” Daddy’s bellow rang out through the room with enough force to rattle the cupboard doors. He sent a piercing glare to Desiree and to Wesley before demanding, “Desiree, go to the living room. Wesley, step outside. I want to talk to my daughter.”
His fiancé immediately started protesting, citing again how she had more experience raising teenage daughters than he did. Daddy was not to be trifled with, however. “I am more than capable of talking with my own daughter, Desiree. Leave. Now.” Ice dripped from the coldness in his words.
With one eyebrow cocked, Desiree sent a glare my way that made me wish the ground would swallow me whole. She sauntered out of the room with her nose in the air, hips swaying in her tight pencil skirt.
Nana walked over and put an arm around Wesley’s shoulders, guiding him back towards the door. His bright blue eyes bored into mine, turning around to stare at me over his shoulder, fear written all over his face. Daddy had the power to keep us apart permanently and Wesley knew it.
“Daddy, I—” I started to say, but he held up a hand to silence me.
His shoulders sank wearily, making the gray hair stand out noticeably in the morning light. He lost weight over the course of the summer and suddenly appeared far weaker than I ever remembered seeing. It was my fault, too; my carelessness did this to him.
“Celeste, I am going to ask you one time what happened, and you’re going to give me an honest answer. You’re my daughter and I trust that you wouldn’t lie to me. Liars are the worst sort of people,” Daddy said. He kept his gaze trained on my face, which did nothing to assuage my burning shame. “What happened?”
My cheeks should have been combusting by now from how red they felt. “Nothing happened, Daddy. I swear it. Just like he said, he came over, we talked, and we must have fallen asleep. It wasn’t intentional. Wesley never would have broken your trust like that.”
He continued to stare at me while he considered my words. The hairs on the back of my neck were standing straight up as I waited for him to say something in response. Guilt was going to make me suffocate, I just knew it.
After a long, pregnant pause, Daddy sighed. “Tell Wesley to get in here. You wait outside with Nana.”
It was so much worse than if he were to scream at me or punish me in some other manner. The resigned calm with which he spoke had my knees trembling and my palms sweaty. This wasn’t the reaction I anticipated and that only made my anxiety go into overdrive. But Daddy had to believe me. He wouldn’t really take Desiree’s word over mine, would he?
The bright sun outside was poking through gaps in the tree branches while the heat already indicated today would be a scorcher. I had the afternoon shift at the pool since I requested tomorrow off in anticipation of Wesley’s arrival. At this point, it was entirely likely that I wouldn’t be allowed out of the house again, even to go to work. I gulped to fight back the sobs threatening to burst as I made my way over to Nana and Wesley at the tire swing.
“Daddy asked you to go talk to him, Wes,” I instructed. My voice warbled from the tremor.
Wesley stepped up and placed a quick kiss on my forehead. “It’s gonna be fine, Celeste,” he assured me. “We didn’t do anything wrong.”
Nana harumphed loudly, her hands fisted on her hips, as he briskly walked inside. An odd part of my brain imagined this was what it must have been like in the olden days to watch someone you loved walk to the gallows. I turned back to Nana and hung my head.
“Celeste Renee Hendricks, what were you thinking?” she chastised me.
A tear leaked out from the corner of my eye. This entire scenario was Nana’s worst nightmare come to life, and was exactly what she had an issue with when I met Wesley two years ago. It seemed surreal to have felt so loved and important last night only to wake up scared and ashamed.
“We didn’t do anything, Nana, I swear it on Mama’s grave. We just fell asleep.”
Her lips were a firm line as she scrutinized my face. “What’s done is done now. I don’t know how your daddy will react.”
More tears fell as I climbed into the tire swing, wrapping my arms around the rope to bury my head in my elbow. I hated disappointing everyone. After a moment, Nana’s bony hand settled on my shoulder, offering comfort I wasn’t wholly sure I deserved. Nothing had happened, but that didn’t mean we hadn’t broken everyone’s trust. Wesley would likely not be allowed over anymore. The coward in me was grateful Daddy didn’t want to talk to us at the same time because the thought of listening to him yell at Wesley was enough to turn my stomach. Desiree was blowing the whole thing way out of proportion, and for the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why she was in my room to begin with. She never braved the tower steps because of her ridiculous heels.
None of that was enough to dry my tears, however. I didn’t dare tell Daddy or Nana how I really felt about Wesley, but I also didn’t want to lie to them about the change in our relationship. There was no way Desiree would allow me to have a moment alone with him if we admitted we wanted to date. Daddy had already started changing the rules and Wes had only been home for 12 hours. Maintaining our friendship on Desiree’s terms was the only route I could see that wouldn’t result in the loss of his presence in my life, too.
Nana cleared her throat loudly and gently tapped my shoulder. I whipped around to find Daddy and Wesley walking towards us with Daddy’s arm around Wes’ shoulders. That had to be a good sign, right? I couldn’t imagine Daddy doing that if he was going to keep us separated.
As they drew nearer, I saw Daddy give Wesley an encouraging smile and nod towards me. Wesley came over to the tire swing and lightly cupped my cheek. “It’s okay, Celeste,” he whispered.
I was so confused. Clambering out of the tire swing, my face blotchy and wet from crying, I turned to Daddy expectantly. He slid his hands into the pockets of his robe, leaning back on one foot. Just over his shoulder, I saw Desiree come outside, slamming the screen door behind her as she stood with her arms folded tightly across her chest. Her glare was enough to power the sun, even from several feet away.
Daddy sighed. “Wesley and I had quite the chat just now,” he began. “I believe both of you when you say nothing happened, so I’m not going to punish either of you.”
“What?!” Desiree cried from behind him, dropping her hands into fists at her sides.
Hope burgeoned in my chest.
“But,” continued Daddy, “we all have to acknowledge that things have changed between you two. Things I could stomach when y’all were thirteen aren’t gonna fly now that you’re going on 16 and entering high school. Wesley and I agreed that he is no longer going to go into your room without a chaperone. The same goes for you with his room, Celeste. Hang out in common areas only. We clear on that?” His blue eyes were watery as he leveled me with a pointed stare.
His restrictions were more than fair. “Yes, Daddy!” I agreed, hugging him around the middle. What was once a bone crushing hug was softer now, but just as welcoming and assuring as ever. I opened one eye to see Wesley standing with his hands in his pocket watching us wistfully. When our gazes locked, he gave me an overconfident wink.
Stifling perfume clouded my nostrils as Desiree hobbled near, her high heels sinking slightly into the soft dirt. “Perhaps it would be best if Hillary hung out with them, too,” she offered. “After all, there’s strength in numbers!”
For a brief second it looked like Daddy was considering it. “Wesley and Celeste have always done their own thing,” he finally said. “I think it’s best we leave ‘em to it and trust that their bond is something special.”
My heart leapt up to my throat. It was the first time since Desiree entered the picture that Daddy had spoken up for me like that. Without even looking at him, I could sense the smug satisfaction rolling off Wesley in waves. He definitely didn’t like Desiree.
And apparently with good reason. As I extricated myself from Daddy’s embrace, Desiree was glaring daggers at Wesley, her mouth pursed like she swallowed a sour lemon. It was a look that promised there was more to come.
“Come on, dear,” she said, winding an arm around Daddy’s waist while simultaneously still glaring at Wes. “Let’s get ready to head into the restaurant.”
“You go on ahead. My head is already starting to hurt and I don’t know that I’m gonna make it in today,” Daddy said. It was then that I noticed the way he grimaced from the sunlight, his eyes squinting as though it was too bright for him to handle.
“Darling, never without you!” Desiree cried. She was suddenly overcome with concern for him, rubbing his back and leading him towards the house. “You go right back to bed. I’ll just grab your wallet real quick and head over to Savannah for that homeopathic remedy you like so much!”
They shuffled into the house together, taking all of Daddy’s warmth with them.
Nana snorted behind me. “’Homeopathic remedy’ my foot! She just wants to go spend his money!”
Wesley’s head whipped back to her. “What do you mean, Nana?” he asked.
She rolled her eyes. “Just what I said, lovebird! The only thing that woman has managed to do since the day she batted her eyes in Doug’s direction is dwindle his savings account!”
He shot me a quizzical look as though waiting for confirmation. I minutely shook my head to indicate he needed to leave it alone.
“I’m going back to my place to watch my shows,” growled Nana. “You two try to keep your hands off each other. I don’t care how good you look together!”
I let out a shaky laugh. “Yes, ma’am.”
With that, she stomped off towards her cabin behind the main house.
Wesley looked on with confusion. “Since when does she watch her shows at her place?”
I shrugged. “Ever since Desiree moved in and told Nana that her shows didn’t belong in a good Christian household. Nana called her a hypocrite and started spending more time in her own place.”
He nodded before languidly drawing my arm through his elbow and meandering towards the front of the house. We walked in companionable silence for a couple minutes while my mind tried to process everything that had happened in the past hour. There were so many emotions lacing through me that I might end up with whiplash.
“Where are we going?” I finally asked with a laugh as he steered me up the dirt driveway, away from the house.
He grinned sheepishly at me. “I may have stolen Ms. Shirley’s car last night to come here,” Wes admitted.
My jaw dropped open, caught between laughing and screaming. “Please tell me you’re joking.”
“Now, why would I joke about something like that?” Glancing up the drive, Wesley leaned down to pull me in for a kiss. It was tender and emotional, something he let his whole body sink into, making mine respond in kind. Everything between us felt so natural, so easy…almost like it was too good to be true.
At that thought, I broke away, tucking my head under his chin and wrapping my arms firmly around his waist. Tears were threatening to spill over again, and I knew if I saw the hurt in his eyes from what I was about to say, I wouldn’t be able to do it.
“Wes, we can’t be more than just friends,” I said into his collar bone, like the coward I was. “You saw how Desiree acted. It’s only going to get worse.”
He tried to use both hands at my shoulders to peel me away, but I tightened my grip with both arms to the point of pain.
“Please,” I whispered. My voice started to warble on the verge of tears.
There was a long pause before Wesley sighed and hugged me back, resting his cheek on the top of my head. “Celeste, I’m not gonna lie to you, your family, or myself. Your daddy and I just had a talk about my feelings and intentions, and nothing or nobody is gonna change them. I love you. Period.”
Part of me wanted to sigh with relief at the assurance he gave while another part of me wanted to stomp my foot in exasperation. It wasn’t about lying to anybody, it was about self-preservation. Neither of us could face Daddy or Nana’s disappointment if something got out of hand, and I was no longer entirely sure that I trusted Desiree enough to let things be. As much as I wanted Wesley the boyfriend, it wouldn’t be worth a lick of Marla’s cake batter if I couldn’t keep Wesley the best friend. I needed him, plain and simple. This summer without him was proof enough.
“Wes, she’ll try to keep us apart.” There was no reason to clarify who as we both know exactly who I meant.
He snorted and withdrew himself from me. “She’s welcome to try, but that’s never going to happen.” The intensity in his blue eyes would have frightened me if there was any indication he was angry or upset. But this was sheer determination, an ironclad stubbornness that I was never going to break. He cupped both of my cheeks with his hands as he swore firmly, “You’re. It. For. Me.”
I let the tears flow freely because who was I kidding now? His words turned me to mush. They didn’t seem to faze him as he gently pressed his lips to mine once more.
“Nothing has to change, except I’m gonna hold your hand and kiss you any time I want.” Wesley grinned down at me, his tongue poking out slightly between his gleaming white teeth. “Now get back in there before your daddy changes his mind.”
I rolled my eyes but turned to walk back towards the house. A strange sense of foreboding settled in my gut because I knew Wesley’s assertion wasn’t true. Everything had to change now.