EPILOGUE THREE YEARS LATER
LUCY
I ’ve gone through the same pregame routine for essentially my entire life. Since that very first day I laced up my thrifted Air Jordans, I would eat gummy worms, listen to Taylor Swift, and head out to the court to shoot before anyone else was even there.
Today doesn’t look any different on the outside.
On the inside, however, it’s like everything’s done a 180.
It’s my first game back after my life changed forever. Which is the real reason I want to get out to the court extra early–I’m dying to see my little cherub-cheeked Charlie. I almost sprint down the tunnel, bag of gummy worms in hand.
The second I enter the arena, I scan the stands until I see them waiting behind the bench. Jordan grins and holds her up, pointing and waving in an attempt to get her to see me from far away.
It doesn’t matter, though, because I’m making a beeline for them.
The love of my life, holding our precious five-month-old daughter.
I keep thinking the hormonally driven emotional roller coaster of having a baby has run its course, but then I see something like this. It’s enough to make a basket case out of anyone. Lord knows I can’t fight the tears pricking my eyes as I jog over to them.
That’s when I notice they’re in matching outfits.
Jordan is repping my number like he always does–but now, so is Charlie. I didn’t know they even made them this small. Her chubby arms and legs poke out of this baggy #23 Minnesota Cougars jersey.
The bright blue of the jersey even further emphasizes the striking blue of her eyes. Jordan says she has my eyes, and I really hope that’s true. Everyone always tells us she looks like her dad–she got his adorable dark and curly hair. But I like to say, with all her rolls, she got my legs.
I’ve always been proud of my curves, but I’m even more proud when I imagine my daughter having them.
I reach the two of them, and Jordan whistles at me.
“Looking good, Mamacita. Dang, I cannot believe you are the mother of my child, looking that gorgeous and about to play in a basketball game.”
He’s already handing Charlie to me as I roll my eyes.
I don’t even have to ask for her. I’m rather attached to this little girl.
Very attached. Maybe too much, but who’s to say, really?
Quite simply, I just hate being away from her.
Jordan brings her to almost every practice, and now that our season is officially underway, he’ll be bringing her to basically every game. Some of the time, Jordan will be working, so we’ll need my mom to step in.
Jordan killed it in law school, so he had a whole slew of job offers to pick from. One stood out very starkly from the rest–in-house counsel for the Minnesota Cougars. So now, he can come to everything and it counts as work. He’s just doing his job, and no one complains that Charlie tags along too. There are more than enough hands willing to hold her at any given time.
Jordan is an amazing dad already. No surprise there. When I wake up to feed her, he’s right there with me. Even though he can’t help in that department–which drives him crazy–he says he’s there for moral support. He’s changed more diapers than I have, has definitely purchased more clothes for her, and makes sure he comes to every doctor’s appointment.
He’s determined to break the cycle of absent fathers.
I wasn’t worried for a second.
As I give Charlie kisses all over her face and belly, making her little cheeks shake with giggles, Jordan gazes down at us with so much pride, he looks like his chest might burst open. He leans down and kisses my forehead. Then Charlie’s. Then mine again.
“Dang, I love my girls.”
I smile, squishing Charlie’s face to mine so we’re both looking up at him.
“And we love Daddy so much. Don’t we, sweet Charlie girl?”
I then hug Charlie tightly to my chest because I know it’s about time to hand her back to Daddy. I have work to do. The clock is telling me it’s warmup time.
I give her one more raspberry on her tummy to get her laughing again, then kiss her and hand her back to Jordan. Now that I’m no longer in Mom mode, I step back into competitor mode–and all the nerves that entails.
Jordan must read it all over my face before I jog away because he catches my hand, pulling me into his chest. This is my safe place, and I instantly exhale.
Jordan lifts my chin so I’m staring into those dark eyes that first made me fall in love.
“Just go enjoy this. You have nothing to prove. You’ve worked your butt off to get back after having a freaking baby–already an absolutely unbelievable feat. A baby, by the way, who has no clue what basketball is and just loves her mommy so much. And a husband who is in awe of you every single day.”
The hormonal tears are back. I wipe away one that escapes and trickles down my cheek. I’m most certainly losing my edge.
“Seriously, Lucy, have fun. Hit some threes or ride the end of the bench–we will love you just the same no matter what. Frankly, I can’t get over the fact that you’re a mom and a professional athlete. You’ve entered a class so far above me, I shouldn’t be able to reach it. I’m just amazed you still give me the time of day.”
I chuckle through the tears. “Well, we’re married, so…”
He nods. “Yeah, thank you for that, by the way. That was really nice of you.”
I let out a snort. He kisses my head again.
“Just go play. It’s a game. We have an amazing family and an awesome marriage and an adorable baby. That’s the important stuff. You playing basketball is just this cool icing on the cake. It’s what you do—it’s not who you are.”
And this is who Jordan is. The guy sees the good in me at every turn. He’s the guy who’s loved me from the start, and he’s made it clear that it doesn’t matter if I play forever or I never pick up a basketball again.
He just wants me.
So with that security, I run out to the court and start shooting. I feel lighter. Jordan’s right about a lot, but especially about this: when you experience something as profound as having a child, suddenly the other things that seemed important feel wildly inconsequential.
My sweet little angel baby is sitting over with my saintly, super-hot husband right now.
I’m just going to try to put a ball through a hoop for a little while and then I get to go home with them. It puts everything in perspective when I frame it like that.
When starting lineups are announced, the butterflies of excitement return. When the ball is tipped, my whole body feels on fire with energy as I remember how fun this game actually is. When I hit my first three, I can’t help but smile and look over at my whole world sitting two rows up, cheering like crazy.
Well, Jordan is. Charlie’s sucking on her fingers.
Basketball has given me a lot. It gave me an oasis when my dad died. It gave me a means to go to college. It gave me a community and support I desperately needed. It gave me a way to learn and grow and build relationships.
But more than anything, basketball brought me Jordan.
It brought me the love of my life.
Long after I hang up my shoes and walk away from the court forever, I know I’ll have him. I know I’ll have the family we are building together.
He’s the greatest gift this game ever gave me.