Chapter 15
FIFTEEN
Beckett Harrington
After days of frenzied packing, move-out day had finally arrived.
Our apartment—once filled with laughter and life—now stood hollow, with only cardboard boxes marking where memories used to be.
The corner of the living room looked especially bare without the TV, where Ian and Lucas had spent countless hours gaming together.
Ian would keep Lucas’s console now, a small token left behind.
He said he’d have less time to focus on gaming.
Ian had already cleared out his things yesterday, but showed up this morning to help with my boxes.
Lucas wouldn’t leave until after the weekend—his flight to NYC departed Monday.
While I’d spent my whole life in Seattle’s familiar rain-soaked streets, Lucas was breaking free, heading east to work for Father’s ex-best-friend-turned-business-rival.
The guy was expanding his empire, and New York marked his third location.
Father had always made it clear I’d remain in Seattle, work for him—which was his way of keeping me tethered here forever.
It wasn’t awful, since Seattle was all I had known.
Lucas’s new path made me realize my own chains had fallen away.
The future stretched before me like an empty highway—I could continue performing in front of cameras, move behind them as a director, or even return to my science roots.
For the first time, tomorrow wasn’t written for me.
And truthfully, I enjoyed the adult industry more than I’d admitted to myself.
The thought of building something permanent there, maybe even my own production company someday, felt surprisingly right.
Maybe a film degree would help.
Lucas stood in the doorway, hands empty.
“That’s the last of it,” he announced to our small gathering—just me, Ian, Lucas, Theo, and Asher.
I caught Asher’s gaze briefly before he looked away, jaw tight.
The warmth he’d shown in the days before had vanished, replaced with a stony silence I couldn’t decipher.
Asher’s sudden coldness left me confused, especially today of all days.
In just a few hours, he’d capture the moment Theo and I crossed a line we could never uncross.
My stomach tightened at the thought—not just my first time fucking a man, but with my best friend, who’d recently confessed to years of hidden desire.
The weight of what we were about to film hung between us all like an unspoken dare.
Crossing this line with Theo tonight might transform everything between us—or maybe nothing would change at all.
My fingers drummed against my thigh as I tried to picture what tomorrow would look like, what I even wanted it to look like.
The boundaries between friendship, business, and whatever else was brewing between the three of us had blurred beyond recognition.
Asher’s voice cut through the silence. “We should probably head out.” Without waiting for a response, he turned and disappeared through the doorway, leaving nothing but a cold draft in his wake.
I found myself staring at the empty space where he’d stood, that familiar knot forming in my stomach.
Just when I thought we’d moved past this—whatever this was—he’d slipped right back into ice mode.
“He’s right,” I managed, exhaling slowly.
The thought of not having my brothers a few steps away made my chest ache. No more impromptu lunches with Lucas, no more late-night talks when Ian couldn’t sleep. They were moving forward while I felt stuck in place, watching everything familiar slip through my fingers like water.
I rubbed my temples, trying to shake off the heaviness. Today wasn’t about goodbyes—it was about Theo. I needed to be present for him.
“Asher and I are heading out now. See you at home,” Theo said, jingling his keys. I could tell he wanted to give me a few minutes with my brothers.
Home. Not “my place” anymore. Just one more shift in a day full of them.
I gave Theo a quick nod, and he disappeared through the doorway.
He and Asher had driven together in Theo’s car since my belongings barely filled two vehicles—three years of life compressed into a single bedroom’s worth of possessions. Had I owned the place instead of just renting a room, I’d be hauling a lot more than this.
Once it was just the three of us, the weight of the moment settled in my chest.
“God, I’m really going to miss you guys,” I said, voice catching slightly.
Lucas looked down at his hands. “I hate that we wasted so much time not being close anymore.”
Lucas crossed the room and pulled me into an unexpected embrace. Ian joined seconds later, his arms encircling us. The three of us stood frozen in that moment, a tangle of limbs and shared history. My throat tightened, but I swallowed hard against the emotion.
This wasn’t goodbye—just a new chapter. Our shared blood and collective scars would keep us connected, no matter the distance.
“Crush it in New York,” I managed to say, my voice steadier than I felt. “I’m just a campus away if you need anything, Ian.”
Ian nodded. “Lunch next week?”
“Definitely.” I hesitated, then added, “You should bring that game over sometime. Maybe teach me how to play? We could get Theo and Asher in on it too.”
The change in Ian’s expression was immediate—like I’d flipped some hidden switch. His entire face brightened with a joy I hadn’t seen in years.
Lucas cleared his throat. “Don’t waste time overthinking things with Theo and Asher. I’ve seen how you three orbit each other. Tell them what you want before it’s too late.”
My face burned hot. I stared at the empty doorframe where they had disappeared. “There’s history there. Baggage.”
“There always is,” Ian said, his hand finding my shoulder, steady and warm. “Just promise you won’t let fear make your decisions for you.”
I nodded, throat tight. “Same goes for both of you. We’ve spent enough years living in their shadows.”
I ducked out the door before they could see my eyes welling up. Strange how a place can suddenly mean everything when you’re leaving it behind. We’d barely spoken for months, and now this apartment felt like the last anchor to who we used to be.
My new reality waited across town. Boxes to unpack. A shower to wash away this sentimentality before tonight’s shoot. Asher had texted earlier about walking me through Theo’s preparation—something intimate Theo usually handled alone.
My stomach fluttered with equal parts nervousness and anticipation.
All my experience with women felt useless now.
Every touch with Theo would be uncharted territory, and the weight of his long-held desire made me determined to get this right.
The camera would capture every moment of our first time together.
I wouldn’t falter.
***
The guilt gnawed at me as I replayed the moment Theo winced and grabbed his lower back.
What was I thinking? Sure, he was fit, but compared to Asher and me, his frame was slight. I should have accepted Asher’s help when he’d volunteered instead of letting Theo strain himself trying to prove something. Now he was injured, and I couldn’t shake the responsibility.
Theo had a backup plan. “Film with Asher,” he suggested, his body perched against the wall.
Asher had already told Theo he’d be down for whatever I wanted, and I had to decide what that was. Our followers had been clear from the beginning: they were dying to see Asher and me together. So far, we’d managed to keep Theo between us, a buffer neither of us seemed eager to remove.
Asher said he didn’t bottom. We could make another blowjob video or something we had done before, but I wanted to level up my content. I needed to in order to keep our page alive. Fans had been begging for one thing, and I was prepared to give in.
It didn’t take long at all for me to tell Asher that I’d take Theo’s place. I had already been thinking about it for a while, but I wouldn’t have admitted that to either of them.
I couldn’t help thinking the universe had just handed me exactly what I’d been secretly wanting.
After a quick Google deep-dive on preparation techniques, I raided Theo’s bathroom cabinet, finding exactly the assortment of products the internet had recommended.
Privacy was our biggest challenge in the apartment. For now, I settled on the couch in the living room, though we’d talked about rearranging the bedroom we used for filming. Theo had offered his California King as an alternative, but I couldn’t exactly go into his room for this.
In the bathroom, I fumbled through the process of getting myself ready, spending significantly more time than I’d ever admit.
My hands trembled slightly as I worked in the butt plug—something that would’ve seemed unthinkable to me just weeks ago.
I deliberately chose the smallest one in Theo’s collection; partly because I wanted Asher to have to put in the effort, and partly because I needed to understand firsthand what Theo would need from me later.
The clock on my phone showed thirty minutes had passed since I’d told Asher to meet me in the room. My stomach fluttered with anticipation. He had no idea what was coming, and the thought of catching him completely off-guard sent a thrill through me I hadn’t expected.
I stared at my reflection, a stranger looking back.
The guy in the mirror wore his hair loose and messy, not slicked back with product like I used to.
Between my legs, the unfamiliar pressure of the plug reminded me how far I’d ventured from everything I thought I knew about myself.
In minutes, I’d be walking out there to let Asher—the same guy who’d been my enemy since freshman year—claim me completely.