Chapter Thirty-One
JENNA
“Oh my good bloody God. I’m going to be an auntie!”
Darcy defies gravity, launching herself across Jack and Kendra’s living area and into her sister-in-law’s arms. I’m not sure who’s more excited over the pregnancy—Darcy or the rest of her family.
Felicity—Jack and Darcy’s mom—releases a high-pitched squeak that could call ships into dock.
Jon—aka Coach Morgan—clears his throat, fighting back an onslaught of emotion.
“Do you ever wish you had parents like Jon and Felicity?” Collins points toward the Morgan huddle of love.
Collins is a closed book when it comes to her past, but I know her parents died when she was younger, and she’s never had a close bond with her blood family.
I shrug a single shoulder and set my water down. I’ve been drinking way too much lately and need to cool it, even in the offseason.
“I’d like to think Holt would react in a similar way if I announced a pregnancy.”
Collins casts me a side-eye. “Have you heard anything from Tommy lately? Sawyer tells me he’s not permitted to practice either.”
I shake my head. It’s been two days since I made a statement to Coach Morgan, setting out exactly what had happened that night.
He said he’d make it his priority to see Tommy back in the team.
Still, there hasn’t been any word from the Blades, and Tommy has gone dark on us all.
I can’t be sure he’s even in town right now.
“Sawyer tried to call him last night, but he didn’t get an answer. He’s worried about Tommy.” I can hear Collins speak, but I don’t process her words.
“I haven’t told anyone what happened, Jen.” Collins takes my hand in her soft palm and squeezes gently. “Are you doing okay? You’ve been through a lot. There are people you can speak to if you need to talk about what happened with Ethan.”
I shake my head again. “I have a feeling if Tommy hadn’t been there, then I would need way more help.” My voice fails a little on the final word. “I just hope my version of events is enough to vindicate Tommy. He doesn’t deserve to have his career cut short, like his dad.”
“You did the right thing, babe,” Collins confirms. “Even if he bailed on you the morning after, like a complete A-hole.”
We watch on from the open plan kitchen as Jack passes around early scan photos he and Kendra got because they couldn’t wait to see their baby. I’m so fucking happy for them both. Kendra is glowing, and Jack looks like he could take on the world with his smile alone.
I think that’s the beauty in a true friendship—no matter how much shit you have going on in your own life, seeing your best friend realize a dream in their life can fill your own with joy.
“He’s a complex person,” I reply to Collins. “He’s closed off because he’s damaged and confused.” My response was intended to be an explanation, but it sounds more defensive than that.
She turns to face me fully as I turn my back on the rest of the room. The entire Blades team is here—minus Tommy—and I want my conversation with Collins to be private.
“He made a comment about his mom and caring what she thinks of him,” I continue. “Something tells me we aren’t the only ones wishing we had a different deal with parents.”
She takes a sip of her drink, swallowing slowly. “From what I hear about Alex Schneider, I can’t imagine life has been all peachy for Thomas.”
I go to reply, but she continues, “That said, we all get dealt a bad hand in life from time to time. Doesn’t mean we can treat people badly and use them, like he has done with you.”
Her statement sticks in my throat, making me want to gag. She’s effectively validated my fear that Tommy only wanted sex to prove a point that he could bed me. And I fell for it.
“You really think that?” I ask, hoping she’ll change her assumption.
Both brows rise into her hairline as she shifts her weight from one foot to the other.
“Listen, Jen. Aside from my own dad and the men on Kendra’s and Darcy’s arms, I’ve only ever met one decent man—the one I now call my husband.
The vast majority seem to think it’s their God-given right to behave like the world—and all women—owe them something.
When in fact …” She pauses her rant, cocking her head to the side.
Collins isn’t looking at me any longer as her gaze travels behind me.
“What’s the matter?” I ask, noticing her brown eyes as they grow wider.
“Jenna.”
At first, I think I’m dreaming when Tommy’s voice filters over my shoulder.
“Look at me, Jenna.”
The second time he speaks, I know for sure he’s here, and I turn to face him.
God, he looks amazing. So good that it pisses me off. An asshole has zero right to be this handsome. He’s unshaven and wearing all black, his dark hair messy and falling over intense eyes.
Even though there’s a party going on, everyone has fallen silent as they watch on.
It’s something I’ve noticed when it comes to Tommy—when he enters a room, people stop and take note.
At first, I thought it was out of fear for what he might do or say next.
Now, I’m thinking it has more to do with his presence.
I’ve never met a guy like him before, and I’m betting that’s the same for the vast majority of people he comes into contact with.
Tommy’s eyes briefly dart around the room and then fall back on my face. His gaze is soft and kind, almost pleading.
“What are you doing here?” I ask, my voice low and gravelly.
He just offers me a cocky grin. “I got invited to the party, and you know how much I love to socialize.”
Despite myself, I can’t help a smile. “I told you on voicemail that you’d never hear my voice again. You have zero right to be talking to me.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Collins move away, offering us some privacy. The rest of the room takes that as their cue to go back to their conversations.
“I know you did.” Tommy takes a small step toward me, and I feel every muscle tighten.
His cologne is evident, and it transports me back to the last night we shared.
“But you see, the thing is, Hellion … I don’t think I can live without the sound of your annoying voice in my life.
The way it grates on me is addictive, and I love the fucking punishment. ”
I can’t be sure if I’m breathing any longer when he moves even closer. The only breath I can feel is his.
“Or without my hands on you.” He continues edging closer to me, and I feel Tommy’s palm as heat permeates the thin material of my black dress, wrapping around my right hip.
He casts his eyes down my body and then back to my lips. “But most of all … I don’t think I can bear another second without telling you how fucking sorry I am for hurting you.”
It would be so easy to accept his apology and demand he take me back to his place for another night together. That’s not who I am though, and he’ll have to work way harder to earn my time.
“Why did you leave me like that?” I ask. “You said you wanted to prove yourself, and then you went right ahead and cemented everything I’d originally thought when I met you.”
“What were your initial thoughts, Jenna?” he asks.
My ears beat with the adrenaline pumping through my body.
“That it’s dangerous to have you in my life.
That you’re the kind of guy who takes care of number one and couldn’t give a crap about anyone else.
You take what you want and never give out second chances.
” I swallow hard. “People who don’t offer second chances scare the shit out of me. ”
“Why’s that?” He replies, studying me carefully.
Perhaps he wasn’t expecting me to go down this route, and to be honest, neither was I.
I try to pull away from his grasp, but he keeps me in place, and I don’t fight harder.
“Because people who live their life with a lack of compassion for others generally have little for themselves too. Living life without making mistakes is impossible and a one-way ticket to loneliness.” I motion between us.
“For example, if I lived my life without compassion, then I’d never have spoken to you again after the incident with Holt.
” I hold up a hand. “Now, giving out third, fourth, and fifth chances? That’s where I start to make a fool of myself.
And I’m not allowing you to humiliate me again, Tommy. ”
His face contorts with anguish. I know a lot of what I said is the truth. He doesn’t need to confirm it.
“You’re right about showing compassion. I’m terrible at it—to others but mainly toward myself. What drove me to leave the other morning was out of fear.”
He blows out a long breath and casts his gaze around the room. With the way we’re standing so close and he’s holding my hip, it’s obvious that we’re involved. Not that I can find it within me to care. This is a safe space with people who aren’t about to spread bullshit and rumors online.
“Keep talking …” I implore, determined for this man to show his cards.
He chews his bottom lip for a second. “I was convinced you were going to tell me you regretted sleeping together again.” A crease forms between his brows. “And I didn’t think I could cope with hearing your rejection again. Not with the way you made me …”
His palm squeezes my hip tighter, and I can see the way he’s shutting down.
My hope for him to open up dissolves.
“Can we get out of here and talk? I’ve got so much I want to say.”
I really want to leave with him, especially since I want to talk as much as he does. This time, it’s fear holding me back. That, and my reluctance to split on one of the biggest nights of my best friend’s life.
I shake my head. “I can’t leave my friend during her pregnancy announcement party. She always has my back, and I can’t let her down again.”
When Tommy’s lips ghost the shell of my ear, my core tightens and tingles.
“And I can’t leave you here and walk away again.
What you did for me—the statement you made about Ethan—no one has ever looked out for me like that.
But you did, Jenna. Even when I didn’t deserve it and even after my third, fourth, and fifth chance, you still stepped forward.
With your version of events, my attorney was able to apply pressure, and Ethan retracted his claims against me.
I think you just saved my hockey career and my reputation.
” He huffs a sarcastic laugh. “What was left of my reputation.”
“I want another hour to celebrate with Kendra and her family,” I reply, just as Jack approaches from behind Tommy.
Jack holds a bottle of ice-cold beer out in front of him, and initially, I think he’s offering it to me. But then he taps Tommy on the shoulder.
“The rule for tonight’s party stipulates that all guests—apart from my pregnant wife—need to have an alcoholic drink either in their hand or next to them.” He offers the beer to Tommy, who takes it. “You have neither.”
Tommy stares down at the brown bottle in his hand and then back up at his captain, shock painted across his face.
The golden retriever smile I know so well, but has never been directed at his defenseman, spreads across Jack’s face.
“I don’t know all the details because it’s none of my business, but as the captain, I am privy to certain information before the rest of the team is.
Jon told me what Ethan Hadley purported wasn’t the truth and that you had good reason to punch that fucker.
Word is, it was to protect someone who needed it. ”
Jack’s eyes travel to mine, warmth and understanding in them. I guess the hand Tommy has on my hip likely gives away who the vulnerable person he was defending could be.
“The announcement has been done, and the party will start winding down soon. Kend is flat on her back …”
Jack’s eyes grow wide, and I blow out a laugh.
“I mean … when I say flat on her back, I’m referring to exhaustion.” Amusement pulls at his lips. “Although she’ll probably be flat—”
“Yeah, yeah. We get the picture, Morgan,” Tommy interjects, lifting his beer and smirking.
“Thanks for the beer, but I’m driving.” Tommy sets the bottle down beside him, his eyes sparkling as they drop down the length of my outfit.
“Besides”—his thumb begins drawing circles on my hip—“I need to take my girl home and work on earning a sixth chance with her.”