Chapter 6
Ledger
The second rehearsal of the day doesn’t start out any better.
And I get it. That wasn’t the best move, storming out of this morning’s rehearsal like a big baby.
I was only gone for a minute. And I apologized when I returned. I apologize again when I arrive at our four p.m. lesson. Kaisa doesn’t meet my eyes. She just says she accepts the apology and that she’s sorry for any distress she may have caused.
For both of our parts, they sound more like PR sound bites than true apologies.
I probably was a brute, like she said. I need to rein it in. Stop getting in my head so much about how I’m so up close and personal with the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, and I can’t get the simple steps right to save my life.
It’s incredibly humbling.
Do I need this right now? I don’t know. But the fact that I’m humbled by it is definitely ringing true. I made some mistakes last week for all the world to see. Repeatedly. And now I’m under a microscope and everyone will be watching me again, hoping for another screw up they can laugh at.
It’s enough to make me want to board a plane for home immediately.
But I won’t do that. I’ve got to figure out how to make this work.
At our break time during our second rehearsal of the day, one of the trainers from the Wolves walks in.
“Hey Steve,” I say, feeling my face flood with heat. We suddenly have an audience and I’m not ready for that.
But it’s Steve. He probably knows as much about the rumba as I did twenty-four hours ago. Which is zip.
“You must be Kaisa,” Steve says, ignoring me and heading straight over to her. She has a loose fitting, green silky shirt over a black leotard and leggings, which is a toned-down look from her costumes of yesterday. “I’m a huge fan of the show and all you’re doing.”
I don’t blame him for fussing over her. She’s stunning.
“And you must be the trainer?” Kaisa asks.
“This is Steve,” I say, patting his back.
“I’m glad you’re here,” Kaisa says. “You can keep us in line.”
He smirks. “Oh, you know what you’re doing. I’m just here to make sure this guy does his exercises so he’s ready to play in his next game.”
“Which is…when?” She frowns and looks over at me, like you didn’t tell me you had a game coming up.
“Not until after this is all done,” Steve assures her. “The team has a bye week, so his game isn’t until the 28th.”
“I’m missing football practice, though,” Ledger says. “Which isn’t good.”
“It’ll be good for you to be away from San Antonio for a while,” Steve counters. “Breathe in this fresh mountain air.”
Her eyebrows go in the air. “Why is it better for him to be away? Did something happen?”
I open my mouth to speak because she doesn’t need to know the details about that. “Well, nothing too—”
“You didn’t hear?” Steve asks. “I thought everybody knew.”
“Hey, it’s not…” I panic at the thought of her thinking the worst about me. Which doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t matter what she thinks. “It’s just that it’s in the past and blowing over, so...”
Kaisa’s gaze goes from mine, then to Steve’s, then back to me. “I saw something about a press conference. But you don’t have to talk about it if it’s…personal.”
Steve snickers. “It was blown way out of proportion. But yeah, it’s good he’s here. Consider it a break from the bad publicity and an opportunity to improve his image.”
“Thanks, Steve.” I grind my teeth together. I hadn’t really thought about the possibility of having to discuss this with Kaisa, but now that we’re here, I feel like an extra big jerk.
“Everyone’s going to forget about it soon. Hopefully.” Steve looks at me like he’s asking for permission to inform her.
“Go right ahead. I suppose she deserves to know,” I grumble, stepping away and grabbing a towel to wipe the back of my neck. Dancing is no joke. I’m going to be sore tomorrow.
“Well, you could look it up on YouTube, it’s all over there,” Steve tells Kaisa.
“But basically, the team had just had a really big loss and poor Ledger here blames himself for it, but it’s not all his fault.
There were many things that went wrong when you look at the game as a whole.
” Steve’s gaze goes to mine and it’s like he’s trying to handle me with kid gloves.
“But anyway, he was stressed and got a little triggered by a reporter asking about his plans for the Christmas Gift Drive.”
“Oh, no,” Kaisa says, “I don’t like where this is going.”
“Exactly.” Steve reaches out a hand to me. “And you’re all good, man. A lot of people would have felt the same way in the circumstances.” He turns back to Kaisa. “He just said how he needed to focus on football, not on wearing some stupid Santa hat and posing with a bunch of kids.”
She covers her mouth with her hand. And once again, I’m plunged into deep feelings of regret. She reaches up and touches me on the shoulder, her brows squeezing together. “And I’m assuming everyone thought that meant you hated Christmas and kids and everything?”
Wait. Is she…being kind about this? The way she’s looking at me makes me think there’s some sympathy there.
“Yeah, basically. See, the team does a fundraiser every year called the Christmas Gift Drive,” I say.
“It’s fun. Honestly, I’ve enjoyed it in years past. It’s just that, in that moment, I let my frustrations with the reporter get to me.
I thought it was an odd question. Still, I shouldn’t have lashed out like that. It wasn’t anyone’s fault but my own.”
“We all say things we don’t mean, Ledger,” she says.
I nod and stare down at the floor.
“I know what it feels like to be under a microscope,” she says.
“I’ve seen my name on Reddit. All these assumptions, you know?
You work hard all your life and have a certain standard and reputation and then in one moment, everyone can believe something entirely false.
” She smiles. “I wouldn’t worry too much about it.
Just because you said that doesn’t mean you hate the kids or Christmas.
” She laughs. “You don’t hate Christmas, do you? ”
“Of course not. But try telling that to all the people online who have been calling me the Grinch of the NFL.”
Kaisa’s brows climb up her forehead. “Do they really think that?”
“Probably a lot of them, yeah. You’re not a big fan of me, either.”
“Well, that’s neither here nor there.”
At Steve’s laugh at Kaisa’s boldness, she explains. “It was pure reflex.” Kaisa shrugs. “Ledger, I don’t know you very well, but I’m sorry that was so blown out of proportion. It all makes sense now why your coach would want you to come to this event mid-season.”
“It’s a PR Hail Mary,” I say, drily, uncomfortable in front of Steve. “If I spend a whole week working on a charity, maybe that can change people’s minds about me and the team’s image. And spending some time away from the team will help, they say.”
Steve nods. “And hopefully, he won’t lose any of his endorsements over it.”
That’s yet another facet to this whole debacle. There’s a real risk of that happening, which would make things go from bad to worse.
“Anyway.” I groan. “I never thought I’d say this, but can we please change the subject from football back to this dance?”
Kaisa grins. “Are you ready to get back to work?”
“Bring it on.”
And I mean it. These past couple of practices have taught me that I need all the help I can get.
If I want to show up in a decent way for this, I’m going to have to practice a lot.
As much as I do not like this, I know it’s for a good cause.
I need to work my tail off to not ruin the whole thing for everyone.
She raises her nose in the air, her blue eyes blazing. “Let’s start at the top,” she demands. “Again.”
“Control freak with a tiara complex, huh?” I’m teasing. I say it under my breath with a smile, but it’s loud enough that Steve hears, and he chokes back a laugh.
“Meathead with a timing deficiency,” she retorts with a dazzling, too-bright smile. I feel my mouth drop open. I can’t read her expression. Before I can respond, she’s got the music started and she’s poised, waiting for me to take my place.
“Four, and one, two, three, four—”