14. Trust your Teammates
Chapter 14
Trust your Teammates
Marcus
T hree weeks later
I sat in Dr.
Choice’s office, nervous but determined.
With Mia’s surprise engagement coming up, I needed to cross this hurdle.
The Armadillos were still undefeated, although the Philly game pushed us as a team.
Bryce and I put together a pair of touchdowns to seal the game.
With teams now understanding Vick was an option with Keyshawn in the backfield, teams respected us as a unit.
“Mr. Allen, Dr. Choice will now see you,” Carla, his receptionist, said.
I stood from the waiting room sofa and followed her into the office.
Dr.
Choice’s office wasn’t what I expected.
I eyed the purple couch and teal armchairs before we shook hands.
His salt and pepper, low-cut fade matched his tapered beard and with the glasses he appeared to be legit.
“Mr. Allen, my name is Dr. David Choice. Please have a seat wherever you’re comfortable,” he said.
I wasn’t left with much of an alternative outside of the purple couch.
He sat behind his desk and flipped open a tablet.
“Tell me, Mr. Allen, what brings you into my office?” he asked.
I scanned the room again and reminded myself of the goal: get Mia to marry me.
“My woman said I needed to see you as a condition of her saying yes to my proposal. I don’t anticipate us seeing each other after today,” I said.
“No disrespect,” I followed.
Dr.
Choice grinned before he jolted down a sentence.
“None taken. We have an hour. Let’s make the best of it. Did she say what we would need to discuss, or do we have free range?”
“She said I needed to attend one meeting. But she was confident in your ability to get me to keep seeing you. No stipulations on the conversation,” I said.
As he jotted down more notes, I noticed three awards sitting on the shelf behind him.
One was as recent as last year.
“Do you have anything in particular to discuss? Was there an event leading her to suggest you come to see me?” he asked.
I danced a few of our conversations through my head and nothing in particular stood out from when she introduced the idea.
However, I was sure Mia wanted me to dissect the circumstances around my mother.
“When she suggested it, no, but later we touched on a sensitive subject,” I said.
“Tell me, what’s your greatest accomplishment?” Dr.
Choice asked.
“Raising my daughter as a single father, taking care of my grandparents, and getting drafted,” I quoted with pride.
“You have quite a bite of a resume for taking care of others. Tell me more about your family,” he said and marked a few things on his tablet.
“Harley is seven and my grandmother is seventy-nine and feisty. Without them, I wouldn’t be sitting here. Prior to them, my life headed down a path of death.”
“Tell me about it. Twenty-five years sober. After I held my first son in my hands, I made a commitment to stop drinking,” Dr.
Choice said, and my eyes widened.
From his clean-cut appearance and awards, I assumed he didn’t have any issues.
“Your facial expression suggests you thought I’m without flaws. A person with no issues is below the ground,” he said.
I agreed with a nod.
“What about your parents?” he asked, and I wanted to avoid this question.
“My father was killed by his best friend when I was nine. My mother abandoned me when I was ten. It’s how I ended up living with my maternal grandparents.”
“And how do those things show up in your parenting and relationships?” he asked, and I jerked my head back.
“I’m not following. I don’t mistreat my daughter, and I would never leave her. My grandmother is my only remaining parent. I take care of them,” I said.
“I’m not implying you would, but trauma shows up, even when we’re striving to do the opposite. For example, I wouldn’t allow any of the children to taste anything with alcohol, including sparkling wine, in fear they would become addicted. My actions drove them to sneak and do it. My middle child is in recovery,” he said.
Sitting back, I tried to digest how my mother’s leaving showed up in my life.
“Marcus, I’m going to throw out a few things people who were abandoned deal with. They struggle with trusting others and can be withdrawn, they are possessive, may smother and cling to their loved ones out of fear of abandonment, struggle with accepting or buying things for themselves. In fact, they raise the bar on themselves to an unachievable level. Do you deal with any of these things?” he said.
Damn.
Everything he listed, somebody had mentioned to me.
I’d always been selective about who I allowed into my circle and granny told me I smother her and Harley.
My conversation with my granny a few weeks ago about staying in Arkansas reintroduced itself to me.
“How do I fix it?” I asked.
“Therapy, recognizing it, and listening to your loved ones. Marcus, if you’re not willing to work with me, find a person you’re comfortable with, and they can teach you how to cope. I don’t want you walking away from this conversation with an expectation of perfection. No one is without flaws. Take me, for example. I still go to AA meetings. Live your life and as you work with a professional, you will learn to live it better,” he said.
I released the expectations I placed on myself and decided to keep in touch with Dr.
Choice.
Damn, maybe Mia was right about him convincing me to see him again.
I owe my granny an apology.
The day I moved in with them, I was angry as hell.
It took my grandfather setting me straight and the birth of Harley to get past the hurt.
Now I was questioning if I buried it instead.
“I have a question. My mother keeps calling me. I never answer her text messages or answer her phone calls, but I can’t block her. Why? She left me and created a new family.”
“Without knowing the entirety of the situation, my best guess is the ten-year-old Marcus has unfinished business with her. And until you work through it, you may not be able to block her,” he said.
I respected his answer as I reflected on it.
“I wanted to ask my girlfriend to marry me this weekend, but now I’m second guessing it. Shit, I have some problems,” I said.
“Marcus, has your partner expressed she is unhappy or complained?” he asked.
Not wanting to answer prematurely, I sat back and replayed conversations between Mia and me.
From my perspective, she assured me she was happy.
“She always tells me I’m this great guy; I make her happy and she asked me once who takes care of me? Dr. Choice, I didn’t realize I was out here winging it.”
“The right woman has a way of bringing a man into focus. If you decide to go forth with the engagement, put it all out there with a plan to work on your flaws. Do not promise her an overnight success. Give her the choice. Keep in mind, she may also reveal her flaws to you.”
I shook my head, satisfied with his answer.
By the time I left, I had already booked a virtual appointment.
Making it to my car, I pulled out my phone and called Granny.
“Hey, Granny,” I said, masking my guilt.
“What’s wrong with my baby?” she said, and I burst into tears.
I know it’s been hell living with me.
She told me, but I wasn’t listening.
“Marcus, baby, what’s wrong. Talk to me,” she coached through the phone.
“I’m sorry, Granny, for smothering you and being mean to you about going to Arkansas. I left therapy and...”
“Marcus, nobody is perfect, and I didn’t take it to heart. Some of this is my fault. Maybe if your mother and I were on better terms, she would have come to me instead of running off.”
This was the first time I’d ever heard my granny talk about my mom.
Mariah Allen was a subject we avoided for our own personal reasons.
“I’m glad you’re getting help, baby. I’ll be home in a few weeks. I than got sick of Corner,” she said, and I burst out into a hard laugh.
“I’m serious, but he than got on my nerves. How did Thanksgiving dinner turn out?” she asked.
“Mia and Harley held it down with your instructions, but nobody can cook your dressing but you,” I said.
“Speaking of Mia, I dreamed about three catfish,” she said.
“Granny, Mia hasn’t said anything to me.”
“We will see when I get back. Mia already booked my plane ticket. I love her,” she said, and I smiled.
“I know a ring better be somewhere,” she continued.
“I’m working on it. I miss you,” I said.
“You are my big baby. Don’t you tell Harley because she thinks she is my number one on the list,” she said, and we both laughed.
I made it home to find Mia and Harley in our bed, asleep.
Harley, more than likely, didn’t want to go to school today because of an upset stomach.
Lately, she has been attached to Mia more than usual.
I kissed Mia’s cheek, and she never moved.
I seized this opportunity to load laundry, shop for a few Christmas items, and study for the game against Chicago coming up this week.
Propping my feet up on the coffee table, I scrolled to the Christmas list Mia created with Harley.
At this time, my daughter had two lists, one for the Robinsons and one for us.
Mia said if we didn’t put her parents in a box, they would lose it.
They loved my daughter and for the last three weeks, Mia and her parents have been playing tug a war.
Harley shrugs because she preferred them both.
The clothes Mrs.
Robinson bought in three days while we were on vacation caused me to shake my head.
Harley said they shopped, stayed up late and had candy every day.
All the things Mia told her mother not to do.
Shopping for Mia was my biggest challenge.
She had everything, including a second house in San Diego and two additional cars at her parents’ house.
Mia lived a life of luxury, but she preferred thoughtful things.
I’d been racking my brain in search of something.
The blanket I had made was already underneath this oversized ass tree she bought.
I came home after the game, and I didn’t recognize the house.
Christmas exploded in here, covering every surface with joy.
She still hasn’t explained why we needed a Christmas tree in our bedroom.
I found my text thread to Bryce.
Me
What’s Mindy’s contact?
I opened the video package in Chicago to study the corners and safety.
They were ranked last in defense, but at any given football game, a team will surprise you.
Mid way through the video package, Bryce texted back.
Bryce
Christmas shopping?
Me
She got everything, man.
Bryce
I hired her two weeks ago for Kindness and my mother.
In my opinion, Kindness should have been easy to buy for.
I would have bought her a plot of land and a new camera lens.
Mindy’s number hit the thread, and I sent her over a text message.
Me
What are you getting the o-line
Bryce
Personalized golf carts.
Me
Their big asses can fit in golf carts?
Bryce
Easy on my line.
“Baby, when did you get in?” Mia asked after she kissed my cheek.
I watched as she curled up next to me and yawned.
She lifted my arm and placed her head on my chest.
“How was therapy? You don’t have to give me details,” she said.
“Dr. Choice is cool. I scheduled a follow-up appointment with him. Mia, if I’m smothering you...”
“You’re not smothering me. One of the things Dr. Choice and I work on is my voice. Trust me, I will let you know.”
“What’s going on with Harley?” I questioned.
My daughter hadn’t taken a nap since kindergarten.
She was usually up around this time.
“Dance class has been wearing her out, but she loves it. Be ready for next week, they get tap shoes,” Mia said.
“Shit!”
“Can your mother watch Harley Friday night? You and I have a date,” I said.
Mia peered up and danced her brows.
“Mom already had plans for Harley this weekend. Something about a glam party. I promised Stacie I would come over on Saturday. I haven’t been a good friend to anyone.”
“You’re always good to me,” I said, and she rolled her eyes.
My entire body trembled as I drove to our future house.
Mia sat on the passenger side with a blind fold.
I wanted to hold her hand but my nerves wouldn’t allow it.
In a few minutes, I was going to pop the question with a list of my flaws.
Pulling into the driveway, I switched off the ignition.
“Marcus, what are you up to? You’ve been nervous since Harley left. Do you need game motivation?”
I chuckled at her statement, but we’ll address the game motivation later.
Opening my car door, I sprinted to her side, anxious for what’s to come.
Mia extended her hand to me, and I captured it, captivated by the sight of her legs in these heels.
I maneuvered her backward and shut the door.
“Follow my lead and put your arm in mine,” I said.
I moved at a slow pace to prevent any missteps.
The lady from Event and Things Bryce recommended came by and decorated for me.
He warned me about the owner, so we conducted everything via telephone, and I paid one of the crew members over time to stay behind and watch her ass.
He sent me pictures after she left.
Sticking the key in the door, I opened it to see three giant floral hearts decorated in pink and white roses.
The pathway to the spot I planned to propose held more roses.
I led Mia to the middle of the room before I removed the blindfold.
She scanned the unfinished room before turning to me.
“Marcus, this is...” she paused after catching me on one knee.
I reached for her hand.
“I had this big speech planned, but I’m getting to the point. I want to marry you. From the moment we met, I knew you were my other half. You pushed me out of my box, you take care of the people I care about and the person I neglected: myself. I got some problems, but Dr. Choice said he would help me with my clinginess and trust issues. What I’m saying is, can you just… Will you marry me with all my baggage?” I said, between tears and stammering.
Mia wiped away the tears with her thumbs.
“If you can get past my trust issues, my need to be perfect and my occasional visit to the past. Yes, I’ll marry you Marcus Allen,”
Hearing the words yes, I cried, struggling to stand on my feet.
Mia allowed me to rest my head against her stomach as she caressed my head.
“Marcus, are you okay?” she asked.
My tears spoke for me as I couldn’t find my words.
I’d been nervous all day and even tried to imagine my life without her.
It made me sick to my stomach.
My pent-up emotions were finally loose; too far for me to catch them.
“Marcus,” Mia called, lifting my head with her hands.
“I love you. You were never in danger of me saying no. As a man, you surpassed my every expectation. Marcus, you are a protector, a provider, a lover, a friend, and an amazing father to our daughter. I meant what I said in the Bahamas. No more holding back. Can I have my ring now?” she said, and I kissed her stomach.
I stood and removed the box from my pocket and revealed a marquise-shaped platinum diamond ring.
Sliding it on her finger, Mia trembled.
I kissed her several times, soft as the treasure she was to me.
After breaking apart, we pressed our foreheads together.
“I’m going to be Mrs. Marcus Allen.”
“You were always Mrs. Marcus Allen,” I confirmed.
I pulled Mia into my arms, and we danced to no music for several minutes.
Our hearts spoke the words they needed to hear.
“Oh, I have a message for you,” I said.
Retrieving my phone from my pocket, I opened the video from Harley.
Hi, Mrs.
Mia!
Please say yes, okay?
I want you to be my mom,” she said through the video.
Mia covered her mouth as tears cascaded down her face.
“She is already mine. I can’t believe she kept a secret from me,” she said.
“I told her before she left. You know Harley can’t keep a secret,” I said, and we both burst into laughter.
Mia
I pulled into Stacie’s driveway ringless, and it hurt my heart.
Marcus and I decided this morning before he checked into the hotel to delay telling family and friends.
We both wanted to tell Harley together and allow her space to express her thoughts.
This morning, she popped on the screen with eye patches, and I couldn’t hold in my laughter.
They were still in glam mode, and I didn’t want to interrupt.
We needed to get our daughter on board with the surprise.
I also didn’t want wedding plans to overshadow the Armadillos getting to the Elite Bowl.
Marcus needs to be focused and a part of me wanted to keep things between us for a while.
This morning, Marcus and I struggled to separate.
We kissed hard and hugged until I cried.
I would rather stay in bed and relax, but I promised Stacie we would get together.
Kindness and I haven’t been good friends to her, with our lives spinning at the same time.
Thinking about it, I haven’t been forthcoming with my life, either.
With Marcus and me moving at the seat of our pants, I didn’t aspire to be judged.
I removed Stacie’s gift from the back seat and exited the door.
If diamond earrings didn’t say Hey, friend, I’m sorry, I’m not sure what does.
Walking to the front door, I heard voices yelling.
“It’s nothing to have the moving company get your shit, Rex,” Stacie yelled.
“Oh, shit,” I said to myself.
“Stacie, you’re overreacting. We don’t even know if the baby is mine and you’re ready to throw what we have away,” Rex’s voice boomed.
My mind traveled back to us at the baseball game and to my trauma.
Nathan and I had this same conversation right after he told me about Onna.
“The point is, you fucked her. Hello, you sped past you cheating quicker than your weak ass fast ball,” Stacie yelled back.
Pieces of my heart broke for Stacie.
I turned to go back to my car, no longer wanting to be part of their conversation.
“Your friend Mia stood beside Nathan,” Rex said, and it pissed me off.
A piece of glass shattered, and I pulled out my phone to call the police.
“Don’t you ever bring up my friend. Your cousin damn near broke her and you won’t get the chance. Now, get out!” Stacie belted, enraged.
Rex pulled the door open, and we made eye contact.
I stepped away from the door and he passed me in pursuit of his exit.
Stacie followed behind and found me before she broke down.
I opened the door, pulled her back inside, and wrapped my arms around her neck.
“I couldn’t get your voice out of my head after the baseball game,” Stacie said, as she cried into my shoulder.
I remained quiet, holding her hand.
When I found myself in this situation, I didn’t want solutions because I wasn’t ready to hear them.
At the time, I wanted someone to listen and not fix it.
“I went on a hunt and there she was, Tori. Six months pregnant with their first child. Mia, you know my past. This shit hit different.”
The name sounded familiar to me, but I couldn’t remember how.
“Nathan’s baby momma hooked them up. The one with the cheap lace front,” Stacie informed, and the pieces connected for me.
Tori had a bigger problem with me than her cousin, Latrice.
Co-parenting was cordial until she would come around with her head rolling and smart-ass mouth.
“I’m sorry Rex said those things about you,” Stacie apologized.
“It’s okay. I’m not bothered by his comment,” I replied and wiped at one of her tears.
Stacie’s phone vibrated again and, at this point, we both lost count.
We knew it was Rex again, with his lame ass excuses.
“I wish he would leave me alone,” Stacie said through gritted teeth.
“Friend, he isn’t going to walk away. This is the beginning of the I’m sorry and gaslighting. When you get yourself in a good place, you need to decide your next step. I will support you the same way you supported me,” I said.
Stacie removed her head from my shoulder and glared at me.
“Be a better friend to me than I was to you. I should have told you to leave Nathan and not accept the bullshit he offered. You deserved a better man and a better friend. And I’m sorry for my role in watching you hurt,” she said to me.
I bit down on my bottom lip to suppress my tears, but they flowed anyway.
Stacie wrapped her arms around my neck.
With Kindness being overseas, she missed the bulk of my relationship with Nathan.
Leaving me to depend on Stacie for support.
Being in my early twenties at the time, I downgraded myself for a man by accepting disrespect from him and his baby momma.
She walked into my house at will, judging me every time she dropped off Onna.
“I accept your apology, but at the end of the day I made the decision to stay. I didn’t love Mia enough to walk away from a man who gave me the bare minimum. Stacie, I can’t tell you what to do, but no one loves you more than you,” I said.
More tears escaped her face, but a knock on the door stole our attention.
Stacie moved to answer it, but I paused her from lifting from the couch.
I walked around the coffee table to the open front door and came face-to-face with my past.
Nathan and I locked eyes as he stood behind the glass.
“Who is it?” Stacie asked.
“It’s Nathan,” I answered.
“I don’t want him here. Slam the door in his face,” Stacie instructed.
I smirked at the idea.
Nathan and I hadn’t seen each other since the baseball game.
As always, he kept a polished appearance with the clean-cut beard and fade.
The red tee highlighted his toffee skin tone, but something about him was different.
Maybe the twenty-seven-year-old Mia held a different set of eyes.
I approached the door and pushed it open.
Nathan moved backward to allow me space to stand on the porch.
“Nathan, Stacie is not in a good place. She is asking for privacy. Tell Rex to give her time,” I said as I peered up into his brown eyes.
He studied my face and shook his head in agreement.
“Mia I-I,” he stuttered, but I paused him with my hand.
“It doesn’t matter, Nathan. Please have Rex respect Stacie’s privacy. Everyone needs space and time to breathe,” I said and reached for the door handle.
“Okay,” he said and backed away.
“Touchdown: Marcus Allennnnn,” the announcer said.
I shook my head at this silly ass dance he coined for his celebration.
Everybody in Houston was doing the body roll.
The last name Allen was different for me, considering I will be one soon.
With Texas having a late game, it would be tomorrow before he came home.
Harley shifted next to me on the couch.
She begged me to stay up to watch her daddy play.
I knew she would be asleep before the end of the first quarter.
By seven, those big eyes drooped, and she yawned constantly.
I was supposed to be making notes for the show Tuesday, but I shopped for wedding dresses instead.
Whatever I get will be custom made.
I needed to find someone to bling out Harley some butterfly wings.
Mrs.
Mia Allen sounded better than making love on a rainy day.
I checked my email to see if Marcus’s gift would be delivered on time.
Hopefully, I will get the reaction I was hoping for and not have to fight him on it.
With the announcers taking over at halftime, I texted Stacie.
Me
Hey babe, how are you?
Instead of messaging me, she put a long message in our group chat.
Stacie
Ladies, I’m not taking Rex’s cheating ass back.
But, I’m not okay.
I decided to stay with my parents for a little while.
Rex will not leave me alone.
Kindness
Okay, I’m missing some context here.
You and Rex broke up?
What happened?
Why didn’t anyone call me?
I pulled in both lips at Kindness’s questions because they were valid.
But that wasn’t my story to tell.
Stacie
I’m sorry, friend.
Rex is expecting a baby with another bitch.
Kindness
Ex-fucking-cuse me?
I slapped my hand over my mouth.
Kindness was not a person who cursed unless you pissed her off.
Kindness
When was anybody going to tell me?
Stacie
Telling you now.
Me
I love you, Stacie.
Do you want to come over with Harley and me?
Kindness
Mia, you still have Harley?
Emergency friendship meeting.
Stacie texted our personal thread, and I cackled.
Stacie
Please do not have the emergency meeting.
Talk her out of it.
Me
You started it.
I shuffled over to the group thread to find question marks put in by Kindness.
Me
After the holidays, let’s get together.
Right now, let’s love on Stacie.
Kindness
When I get home, we’re having the meeting.
Y’all got secrets and I’m upset about it.
Kindness
I’m making us crystal bags and we will burn sage.
I rested my head against the couch and exhaled through my nose.
My phone vibrated, and I laughed before I read the message.
Stacie texted our personal thread.
Stacie
Don’t make me do it.
Calm Mother Earth down.
Me
Two words.
Green smoothies.