15. Chapter 15
JAX
The red haze of pain slowly pulled back, and while it didn’t completely recede, it gave Jax enough room to sit in the driver’s seat. As reality coalesced around him, he cracked open his eyes, squinting at a bright, fuzzy world accented by loud beeps.
“Jax?” Tristan’s voice had Jax blinking, trying to focus.
He could feel Tristan’s warm hand encompassing his, and while he hadn’t been fully conscious for the last few hours, he hadn’t been unconscious either.
His mind had gone into safe mode, retreating to where it could handle the hot, seizing agony in his lower back.
Finally, his eyesight worked with him, and he looked up into Tristan’s worried eyes, noticing that Finn stood beside him with a matching expression. Sure, he’d registered that they were there, but everything after getting out of bed was a blur.
“Tris-tan.” A mix of pain and whatever drugs he’d been given made it difficult to speak, and he glanced around, confirming that he was in the hospital.
“Hey there,” Tristan said softly. But even he couldn’t soothe the gnawing anxiety that told Jax his brain hadn’t caught up to it all yet. He was missing something important.
Like running a kitchen.
“The Pointe…” Tears blurred Jax’s vision again. Raising his free hand, he punched the mattress with about as much force as a baby.
“Jax.” Sitting on the edge of the bed, Tristan reached over and gently held that hand too, transferring some calm into it. “Don’t worry, Finn’s been in touch with Marci, and everything is handled. Owen even took over for me.”
“They…shouldn’t…have to…” Jax forced out. This had been his moment, his big opportunity, and the entire weekend had turned into a shitshow. He’d worked so hard to keep his anger at bay, to solve everything that was thrown at him, but in the end, his body couldn’t handle the stress.
Sure, this was all Derrick’s doing, but it didn’t matter because Jax’s back had been slowly breaking down over time. As a sous-chef, he moved around the kitchen a lot, and he’d ignored the warning shot that had left him on Owen’s office floor, pushing himself, wanting more.
But he’d flown too close to the sun and had gotten burned, struck down just like he’d been four years ago, unable to help himself or get to a phone again . And this wouldn’t be the last time his back ripped him into reality.
He’d had such hope, but he wouldn’t be able to keep this once-in-a-lifetime job, and futility overwhelmed him.
“I’m twenty-six, and my life is over,” he mumbled, not sure if he was speaking aloud, and he closed his eyes, trying to ignore the hospital buzzing around him.
“It may seem that way now, but I promise it’s not.
” Tristan gave his hands a gentle squeeze, and Jax hung onto him like a raft in a rainstorm, grateful that he had Tristan in his life.
In fact, he had lots of good things to be grateful for, including an incredible mother, long-lost siblings, a niece, and amazing friends.
But how could he appreciate any of it when his existence was soaked in pain?
He wanted his old life back, to be able to sit wherever he wanted, move his body without thinking about it, and free himself on the dance floor, but he’d never have that again.
It had been taken from him, changing him for good.
Jax’s eyes snapped open as an old, familiar anger began to fill his veins, and the drugs in his system weakened the walls that usually held back his rage.
“You’re full of shit.” The words sounded like gravel, and while Tristan didn’t react, Finn did, because he’d never seen that side of Jax before. “You don’t have to live w-with this. You d-don’t have to lie on the floor for…”
Jax paused. How long had he been on the floor? It had felt like hours. At first, he’d shouted for help, but either the walls were too thick or the neighbors had been out, because no one had heard him. He’d spent most of the time wishing that the pain would stop and that Tristan had stayed.
He’d been half asleep when Tristan had said something about an errand, but what would’ve had him sprinting out first thing in the morning?
It hit Jax like a sledgehammer. Eve . She’d called during the walk-in disaster, and Tristan would have only left to deal with another disaster, namely her.
“Tristan,” Jax noticed Finn sliding out of the cubicle. “Where did you go this morning?”
Tristan started, his hands spasming.
“I can explain.” Panic lined his features. “But we should talk about it later, you’re still-”
Jax pulled free of Tristan’s grasp.
“N-No!” Could this day get any worse? He blinked furiously, trying not to break down as betrayal sank its claws into him, but his emotions were all over the place. “I don’t wanna hear your bullshit.”
“Jax,” Tristan stood, “I was-”
The curtain pulled back, and Jax smelled his mother’s perfume right before he saw her.
“My son, my son!” Her voice washed through the emergency room as she rushed to Jax’s bedside in a flurry, taking the hand that Tristan had just released, unaware that she’d interrupted their first fight.
“Ma? What are you doin’ here?” he sputtered as his brother joined them, staying off to the side, glancing between Jax and Tristan.
“Finn called me.” She patted his cheek, her eyes flicking to Tristan before returning to Jax. “What happened? Finn said it was your back?”
“Stress from yesterday. W-We had issues with the walk-in and…” he swallowed, losing his train of thought.
“That’s enough, sweetheart,” she stroked his hand. “You need to rest.”
“I was supposed to run the kitchen.” But this weekend had turned into a torturous humiliation ritual. Between the fuckups at work, his back, and whatever this crap was with Tristan, Jax wanted to leave and not talk to anyone for a while.
“I’m sure everyone in that building wants you to be healthy,” his mother fussed, and Jax really wanted to snap at her.
“It’s true,” Tristan said softly, looking like someone had kicked his puppy, and Jax had to grit his teeth.
Tristan had left to see his ex for whatever reason, after he’d told Jax things were being handled. But it wasn’t the fact that Tristan had gone to see Eve, it was the fact that he hadn’t been honest about it. If he’d kept that visit from Jax, then what else had he hidden?
It made Jax’s trust in him deflate, wounding him deeply.
“Who’s this?” his mother asked with perfect timing, and Jax couldn’t help himself; he unleashed his anger.
“Someone from work.” His voice didn’t waver, but then again, it didn’t feel like he was talking. The beast within had taken over. “And he was just leaving.”
Tristan stiffened, looking like he’d been struck, and a profound sadness washed through his sandy-brown gaze. Somehow, it pierced through Jax’s fury, making him feel stupidly guilty.
“Oh,” his mother flicked her eyes back and forth, clearly picking up on the tension, while Finn stood off to the side in shock. “Um, okay, hun.”
Without a word, Tristan turned on his heel and left. Jax watched him go until the curtain swung closed, and then looked away, his heart breaking in two.