Chapter 40
Noah
“Are you sure?” Lew contemplated me.
“Yeah, baby. I’m sure.”
“The website said I had to stay with you, but I really think you need some water. Your lips are all dry and you lost so much fluid.”
“What website?” I asked.
God, he’s so cute when he’s all worried.
“Oh, uh, it was a kink website. I wanted to make sure we did it safely. Apparently, resistance play can be emotionally intense for subs.”
“Baby, are you telling me you did research for me?”
“Yeah, I did. And they talked about aftercare and said that you shouldn’t leave your partner straight away. I just want you to be okay.”
My heart.
Fresh tears sprung up in my eyes. Nobody had ever treated me with this much care and consideration, or worried about me this much.
“Lewis Sinclair, you are the most wonderful person I have ever met.” I heaved my body up so I could kiss him again, then flopped back on the bed. “I’d love a drink and a washcloth, to be honest.”
Lew got up from the bed but not without kissing me again and making sure the blanket was tucked safely around me.
“I’ll be right back, my sweet.”
I snuggled into the pillows and by the time he returned, I had dozed off.
“Puppy.” His palm slipped under my cheek and he gently lifted my head. “Have some water.”
I gulped a few sips of the cool liquid. Lew returned a moment later with a blissfully warm washcloth. He wiped the cum off my back and cleaned between my ass cheeks.
“I’m so empty I can’t even be embarrassed.”
“Good.” I felt his eyes on my backside. “Can you roll on your side for me?” Lew asked and cleaned my front. Then he covered the wet patch with a towel.
Gosh, he’s so considerate.
“There you go, Puppy.” Before he pulled the duvet back over me, he kissed my shoulder. “I’ll be back in a minute.”
When Lewis slipped under the duvet, heavenly smelling and naked, he pulled me into his arms.
“We really sucked at fake dating,” I whispered into the thick fur on his chest.
A laugh rumbled through his body. “I can get the phone so you can take a picture,” he suggested.
I snuggled my face deeper between his pecs and inhaled the musky scent of his body. “Hard pass.”
“Gods, I can’t wait to spend my life with you, Noah.”
“Neither can I,” I whispered, the smile audible in my voice.
“Marry me, Noah.”
“Yes,” I shot back, then my head snapped up. I narrowed my eyes at him and every last bit of the post orgasmic bliss was blown away as if by a sharp bout of wind.
“I mean it. Will you marry me? I’m sorry I don’t even have a ring for you, and it’s not that I haven’t thought about it .
It’s been hovering in the back of my head for weeks.
It’s always been you, Noah. Always only you.
And it’s okay if you need more time, we’ve only really been together for five months, I get it.
I can wait. I’ll wait for as long as you need—” Lew interrupted himself.
“Oh shit, okay, forget what I said. You’re probably still really vulnerable from what we just did.
I shouldn’t have asked you. Damn, I swear to you, I am such a cunt sometimes. I’m sorry, Noah, I—”
“Lewis! Stop. My answer is yes.” I pressed my lips together but the smile won.
“What?” he asked me as if he feared hadn’t heard me properly.
“Yes, Lewis,” I repeated. I turned on my side and beamed at him.
“It’s always been you for me, too. Yes. And I don’t need an engagement ring.
Let’s have wedding rings, though. I want everybody to see you’re mine.
” The overpowering love I felt was mirrored on his face.
“And let’s get married before I turn thirty,” I added.
“Screw the stupid pact. You’re so much more than my last resort.
You’re everything to me, Lewis Sinclair.
” I kissed the tip of his nose, then brushed mine over it.
“We belong together, and I intend to keep you forever.”
“Yes, Puppy,” my new fiancé croaked, overcome with emotion. “Let’s do that.”
It was still dark outside when I woke up butt to butt with Lewis.
He’s here. And we’re engaged!
I tiptoed out of the bedroom and closed the door behind me. In the bathroom I caught sight of my grin in the mirror.
Best Valentine’s Day of my life.
I’d just settled on the couch when I noticed a car coming down the narrow road.
What the hell? I cancelled the cab to the airport six weeks ago.
Right after I cancelled my flight.
It wasn’t a cab that parked in front of the cottage, but a dark elegant car I recognised as Fitzgerald’s.
“What are you doing here?” I asked my big brother when he got out. Ollie was in his usual slacks and loafers and bundled up in a thick coat as he walked up to me. The frozen gravel crunched under his soles, and his breath hung in the early morning air like little clouds.
“I wanted to see you before you left.” He dug his hands into his pockets, shivering. Ollie got up early for his job without blinking an eye, but unlike me he was not a morning person.
“That’s nice of you.” I barely managed to keep the sarcasm out of my voice.
“You can’t go,” my brother blurted out suddenly.
“What?”
“You hate Bali!”
My face heated. “I totally don’t hate Bali,” I spluttered, knowing that my brother had always been able to see through my lies.
“Lewis told me that you’re not happy there, that you’ve been struggling.” He cleared his throat.
He told Ollie?
“It’s nothing. My reach is back up, I’ll be fine.” Thanks to my hot Tiger fiancé.
Don’t grin like a fool again.
I had no idea why I didn’t just tell Ollie that I had already decided not to leave, and that Lewis was here. Maybe I needed my big brother to ask me to stay.
“Why didn’t you tell me, Noah? I could have helped.”
“You know social media marketing now?” I snorted. Ollie was clueless.
“No, but Maddie does, and we’re friends. And you are my brother. I could have done … something.”
“You have enough on your plate, Ollie. And I don’t want your money.”
He heaved a sigh. “I’m glad Lew helped you.”
“Me, too. He’s been amazing.” My voice broke on the last word and I swallowed back tears.
Don’t start crying now. You’ll never be able to stop.
But shit, I’d get to marry the love of my life. I was so lucky.
“Don’t go, Noah,” Ollie repeated.
“Why?” Fuck! The first tears spilled out of my eyes.
Just tell him you never meant to leave anyway.
“Because he loves you,” my brother said with a tiny smile. “He never stopped waiting for you. Even when you weren’t here.”
“Why didn’t he try to stop me? He was ready to let me go back.” The tiny voice of doubt that had been nagging in the back of my head was suddenly loud.
“God, Noah! I know Lewis. He would never want to stand between you and your dreams. He’s too noble for that.” Again, he sighed. “Even if it costs him everything. You love him, don’t you?” Ollie pressed on.
“I do.”
“Don’t get on that flight, Noah. No matter how odd it is that my best friend fucks my brother, you two should be together.”
I tried to think of something to say.
“Listen, hear me out, okay? If you still want to go, I’ll take you to the airport myself.
” I tried once again to tell him that I was staying, and that Lew was still fast asleep in the bedroom, but Ollie interrupted me.
“Can we have a cup of coffee inside and talk? It’s freezing out here.
” I led my shivering brother into the kitchen, checking on the way if I’d closed the bedroom door.
Then I busied myself with the little espresso maker Lew had got me on my first day back.
“Thanks.” Ollie accepted the cup from me and took a deep drink. “Ouch shit, I burned my tongue.” My uptight smartass control freak of a brother chuckled. But then again, he was here to convince me to stay.
“You wanted to talk,” I said as I sat down with my own mug in hand. “So talk.” I wasn’t going to make this easier for him, and he would find out that his best friend and I had spent the night together soon enough.
“I want you to stay in Scotland,” Ollie blurted out. “With Lewis,” he added. “God, you should have heard him scream at me the other day.” He smiled into the distance, and I forced my face into a neutral expression.
“He screamed at you?”
“It was terrifying, but I deserved it.” Ollie cleared his throat. “I checked out your ArgoS and found all these pictures and videos of the two of you. And your captions—really witty by the way, great job—and I saw red.”
My face heated, and I knew exactly why Lew hadn’t told me.
He’d thought our trip to Nairn were the last few days we had before I went back to Bali.
Of course he didn’t want to taint that with Ollie drama.
Lewis knew how much I’d struggled with the idea of him finding out, although until a day ago he’d had no idea why.
Why hadn’t Ollie got in touch with me once he’d checked out my social media, though?
Surely, if he’d screamed at Lew, he had a thing or two to say to me about fucking his best mate.
“I tracked him down and tore into him, defending your honour.” He gave me an embarrassed grin. “And Lew, well, let’s just say he didn’t take well to that.”
“You don’t say.” Lewis had been protective of me from the start. I had a good idea what he might have said—or screamed—at Ollie.
“You had a fake relationship for your account?” my brother asked.
“It was fake at first, yeah. Although …” I took a sip to buy myself some time, remembering our first date at Windmouth Castle, our first kiss, and the one outside my door. “But not really.”
“He always loved you. I didn’t see it then, but when I think back, it’s obvious.”
“I don’t know if you remember that day at the stream before everything changed. You fell asleep, and we snuck away.” I took a deep breath. “He kissed me, and ran off. I thought he hated it.”
Why am I telling him this?
“Okay, this is the cutest, dumbest, and most on-brand thing I’ve ever heard.” He snorted. “I know he was a dick to some of your boyfriends, but never to you. That wouldn’t have happened on my watch.”
“No, never to me. It was shitty what he did, but he apologised. To all the guys, too, whenever he ran into someone from back then.”
“Okay, that’s the most Lewis thing ever. He’s a big softie.”
“He is.” I bit my lip to stop myself from grinning, but Ollie noticed anyway.
“God, you are so far gone for him, it’s disgusting.
” With a wink, he emptied his cup. “Don’t go, Noah.
You are the best thing that’s ever happened to Lewis, and if you feel the same—which I think you do—you can’t leave him.
I saw it with Maddie and Fitz. They’re made for each other and knowing him before and how he’s been since she came back?
When you’ve found a person like that you don’t let them go—ever. ”
“He was ready to let me go before we went to Nairn.” I swirled the remnants of coffee around in my cup, unable to look at Ollie.
You’re nearly thirty and still need your big brother’s approval of your life choices. Pathetic.
“I meant what I said, Noah.” Ollie waited until I met his eyes. “If there is one thing about Lewis that I know it’s that he would never stand between you and your dreams. He would rather make himself miserable than talk you out of living your best life.”
“But my best life is …”
“Not in Bali, I think we can agree on this,” he finished the sentence for me.
“Yeah, we can.” A massive weight dropped off my chest when I finally said it out loud to my brother. “I cancelled my flight a couple of weeks ago,” I confessed.
Ollie nodded. “Believe me, he wants you here. And, well, I don’t know if it helps at all, but I want you to stay, too.”
“You do?” I gaped at him.
“Yeah, you’re my baby brother. And I know I’ve been shitty at my job, but I love you, Noah.”
“I always thought you hated me.” The words tumbled out of my mouth. “And I wouldn’t blame you after what Mum and Dad made you do.”
“I never hated you. Not one single day of my life. I hated that they made me raise you when I was still a kid myself.”
“They suck. I know they’re our parents, but damn they suck at it.”
“They do suck,” I chuckled. “Man. It feels good to say that out loud.”
“It does.” Ollie grinned at me. “I’m sorry for not being around a whole lot. I was seeing someone.”
“It didn’t work out? I’m sorry.”
“I think it’s better that way, to tell you the truth.” He bit his lip and ran a hand through his short hair. “I want to focus on LFD and being married to my job, you know?”
“Yeah.” I didn’t tell him that I’d tried that, and it hadn’t worked for me.
Eventually, we all have to make our own mistakes.
If learning from another person’s mistakes worked, none of us had any growth ahead for ourselves.
“We have a big year this year. Fitz just got a huge booking for summer. I don’t know if you’ve heard of that new rink that a hockey charity built near Kincardie?”
“No, I didn’t. I’m not really a hockey person.”
“Me neither.” My big brother snorted. “I just know that some of the players are hot, and that they get super sweaty when they play. And they get into brawls a lot.” He fanned himself then clapped his hand over his mouth and giggled.
Who the fuck are you, and what happened to Ollie?
It was as if a huge weight had dropped off my brother’s shoulders. He seemed to breathe a little easier.
“Well, that’s one thing to look forward to, isn’t it?”
“Yeah.” He laughed, then sobered up. “I’m glad you’re staying, Noah. And I’m glad you and Lew have each other. You’re good for him.”
“Eh, I’m—”
Ollie was about to say something but looked around when the bedroom door opened. Lew stepped out in nothing but grey joggers. His thick pecs plumped even more when he yawned widely.
Holy shit, he’s so sexy.
“Morning.” He raised a hand at the two of us.
Ollie’s face flushed, but he kept it together.
“Mornin’, Lew,” he greeted his best friend. “I should have known I’d see you here.”
“As if I’d let Noah go without a fight.” Lew winked at me before he disappeared in the bathroom.
“I was too caught up in my own shit to notice, but he’s been happier than I’ve ever seen him.”
He covered his hand with mine when I reached out and squeezed his forearm.
“Thanks, Ollie. By the way,”—I glanced at the bathroom door—“we got engaged yesterday.”
“Wow.” Ollie swallowed hard. “I won’t say it’s not something I’ll have to get used to.” My brother palmed my shoulder. “He’s so disgustingly in love with you. I’m so happy for you, Noah.”
He got up and hugged me the way he’d hugged me as a child, and I knew everything would be okay in the end.
Our start had been a rocky one, but my future husband and I would find that sweet spot. The perfect place between pain and pleasure, woven together so tightly that it was hard to tell where one ended and the other began.
We had the rest of our lives to figure it out.