Chapter 11 Meryn #2
“Kryptos Alpha Hannelore will teach you rifting, and we’ll bring a retired Phylax in from the Bonded City to help you with shields. As for impelling, Stark departed with Noemi at dawn, so I’ll teach you myself.”
I nearly spit out the ice cube I was sucking on. “Did he?”
My brain is spinning uselessly, and I don’t know why. I knew he was leaving. It doesn’t matter that he didn’t say goodbye. It’s not something I’ve ever expected from him before. Why is this hitting me so hard?
Siegrid is either ignoring my slack-jawed reaction or doesn’t make anything of it, because she breezes past it and says, “No matter. Surely you know I was Daemos Alpha before Stark. We’ll start first thing tomorrow.”
Great. Can’t wait. Except there’s one power we haven’t discussed, and it’s the one I most need to get under control.
“And the shadows?”
A knowing smile creeps across Siegrid’s face. She raises a hand and crooks one finger.
And shadows slide up the walls, dark and creeping.
My breath leaves my entire body. “H-how are you doing that?”
She puts her hand down, and the shadows slink back to the ground, fading. “It’s called shadebending, and it’s a skill unique to the Sovereign Alpha and the queen. My powers are not even a tenth of your own, though.”
I hold up my wrist, the blackened ruby glinting in the engagement bracelet. “Unfortunately, we are not the only ones with this skill, as I think you know. Alistair Brightbane has some control over my shadebending through this bracelet.”
Siegrid temples her fingers. “Yes, I’m aware. I can sense a throttle on the power—on my ability to impel as well, in fact. His presence is corrupting and warping the magic for all Bonded.”
Alarm spikes in my chest. “Then we need to do something. Immediately. I haven’t found someone who can get the bracelet off yet, but I’ll cut off my hand if that’s what it takes.”
Her brows rise. “You would, wouldn’t you?
You’d injure yourself for the sake of others.
” Her voice is contemplative, surprised.
“How noble. However, there’s no need to take such a drastic step.
Tormun will succeed in capturing Killian and will bring him back here.
We’ll force him to remove the bracelet.”
My shoulders relax slightly. “So you’ll teach me how to shadebend? Right now, I can only access it in times of high emotion, and even then, I have no control over it. I think of what I want, and it reacts, but to an extreme.”
Siegrid sighs, picking up another grape.
“It’s all about discipline, Your Highness.
To bend the shadows successfully, you need to clear your mind.
Emotion can heighten their strength, no doubt, but you should not be possessed by your…
feelings.” She spits out the word with virulent distaste, as if she bit into her fruit and found it rotten.
“We’ll drill those histrionics out of you in no time at all. ”
I can tell she’s trying to be helpful, so I don’t reach across the table and throttle her, as much as I may want to.
Anassa growls in my mind. “You are not histrionic. You are passionate and feel things greatly. There is a difference.”
“There is one final matter I wish to discuss with you,” Siegrid says before I can make a break for the door.
I straighten and nod for her to continue.
“Now that you have discovered your true identity and laid claim to the crown, it no longer makes sense for you to be Strategos Alpha. My direwolf, Genicos, believes you and Anassa should step down and let the wolves pick someone new.”
Surprise hits me first and then pain.
Alpha. I’m an Alpha. They’re my pack. Even if what she’s saying makes sense, I don’t want to let go. It’s a role I was just starting to embrace. Even though I haven’t been Alpha for long, it’s familiar—something I was starting to feel confident in, unlike my position as queen.
I don’t want this to be another thing I have to lose.
“You will never lose your pack,” Anassa says gently. “You will always be Strategos, even if you now are more.”
“Do you support this?” I want her so badly to say no, to fight.
She’s silent for a moment, and it says everything. How many times can a heart break before there’s nothing left to put back together?
Finally, she goes on, “If we continue to serve as the Strategos Alpha pair, our loyalty will be to them. That would do a disservice to our kingdom. We serve everyone now. All the wolves, all the people, no matter their pack or their rank.”
She’s right, I know she’s right. Strategos deserves an Alpha that belongs to them, who has no priority higher than their well-being and strength.
And my people—all my people—deserve a leader with no divided interests.
“You know why she’s suggesting this, though,” I say. It’s so transparent. Siegrid would like a new Strategos Alpha who will be completely compliant.
“I do, but I was going to suggest this to you myself.”
“I understand,” I tell Siegrid, and she looks pleased. Outright pleased, confirming my suspicion. “I’ll step down and let the wolves choose.”
“It will be Sofos, the direwolf bonded to Egith,” Anassa says. “I have influence over the decision. Sofos and Egith will be loyal to us above anyone else.”
If Anassa believes that’s true, I trust her.
“Take a break and meet up with Hannelore in the Kryptos training area after lunch to continue your work,” Siegrid says. “I’ll let her know she’s needed.”
It sounds dangerously like an order, but I let it go. I just want to get out of here.
I return to my rooms to check on Saela. What I find doesn’t surprise me. She’s clearly gotten out of bed, cleaned up and dressed herself, and then climbed back under the blankets again.
“Hey, Sae,” I say, sighing. I bend to pick up her discarded shoes and set them straight next to her bed. “Doing okay?”
She doesn’t answer.
“Please talk to me,” I beg. If I could get one smile out of her…
Nothing.
“I know this has been hard for you, but it breaks my heart to see you like this. Do you need to go outside and get some fresh air?”
Saela scoffs. She doesn’t look at me, but I don’t need to see her face to know she’s angry. “Wouldn’t I be a danger to myself and others? Leave me alone, Meryn.”
I open my mouth to respond, but before I can, there’s a piercing pull in my brain. A gasp flies from my lips. Saela turns quickly, the sound startling her.
My knees give out, and I sit down quickly on her bed.
This feeling…
It’s him again.
“Bonded,” Killian—or Alistair, if he’s to be believed—says over the rivers. “You have had several days to consider your loyalties. The fiefdom of Rabenfrost has welcomed me with open arms, and they welcome you, too.”
Those traitorous fucks. My hands tighten on Saela’s bedcovers, and my eyes alight on the engagement bracelet clamped on my wrist. It’s tighter than ever, and the ruby once again swirls with dark shadows.
“Meryn?” Saela asks uneasily.
My shoulders start to tremble in anger. I need to stop this. I have to cut him off somehow—he’s not allowed to address my people like they’re his own.
“Do you think I can erect a wall against him?” I ask Anassa with urgency.
“Try it. Quickly.”
Closing my eyes, I seek out the ocean of communication in my mind. His foul energy is in there, too, like a dark cloud hanging over all the streams that branch out to the packs. I take a deep breath and then…
I push.
The wall I erect is stronger than anything Anassa and I ever threw against each other. It’s iron, and it stretches and stretches and stretches, reaching out, protecting all the Bonded from his influence. She throws her power against it, too.
Instantly, I’m sweating, and my head starts to pound. It’s as if something was roughly squeezing my brain, juicing it like a fruit. But I ignore the ache.
I’d endure any pain to keep him out. And it’s working—his twisted influence is leeching away.
“Meryn!” Saela’s fingers are on my wrist, pulling at me, but I keep my eyes clamped tight.
“More,” Anassa says. “It’s almost enough.”
A scream tears from my chest as I continue to mentally push the wall up against him. Finally, something slips into place. He’s out; he’s totally removed from the pack communication channels. I can sense it.
“Will it stay? Do you think it will keep him out for good?”
There’s a pause before Anassa answers. “We may have to keep reinforcing it. But… it seems as if it is working for now.”
My eyes flutter open, and Saela is gaping at me in concern. I’d be almost pleased that something’s gotten through to her if I wasn’t about to double over from my searing headache.
Terror ricochets in my chest. I grab her shoulders, and she sputters. “W-what—?”
“Do you hear him?” I demand.
She wriggles away from my grasp, moving across the bed and closer to the wall. “Mer, what are you talking about? Are you okay?”
“Killian,” I press. “Can you hear him? Are you hearing him right now?”
Her eyes are wide. Fearful. She shakes her head. “I—no. No, I told you. No one is reaching me or anything.”
She looks so earnest. Can I believe her? Can I trust my own sister?
I have to. Because if I don’t give her my trust, who will?
Opening my arms, I beckon her into a hug. She comes, her small body pressing against my own, and I wrap her up tightly.
“You scared me,” she mumbles.
I lean my head against her hair and breathe in deeply.
She scares me, too.
Will anyone in Nocturna have faith in me if they discover I’m harboring a Siphon?