Chapter 26 #2
“You really don’t have to keep carrying me over your shoulder like this,” Vale says as I, as quietly as possible, take us outside to the balcony, at nearly three in the morning, each of us wearing one of the extra pairs of swim briefs P é rez bought. “As much as I like looking at your butt.”
“You should have to see how much you scratched up my back tonight.”
“Well that’s what you get for the, what, at least three hickeys on my neck. You mark me up, I mark you up. It’s only fair.”
“I— Sure. Can’t argue with that. But don’t act like your legs aren’t a little wobbly,” I tell him as I carefully set him on his feet.
I check the hot tub’s water temperature (nearly there), loving the way Vale massages my back as I get it ready for us.
“We’ll let the hot tub help relax your muscles.
And if that doesn’t work, guess I’ll have to keep carrying you the whole weekend. ”
“Well, you were all, ‘round two?’—technically three for you—”
“I mean, you put my dick in your mouth, and I’m going to nut.
That’s a battle I’m always going to lose.
And happily too.” I turn around and give him my best devious smile, holding on to his waist and putting him in between me and the balcony railing, my mouth close to his ear.
“I’m just saying, though, in a hot tub, on a really pretty night like this, under the moonlight, tell me some doggy style right now wouldn’t go wild. ”
“I’m dating an actual monster.”
“And you’re not one? Are we going to forget how enthusiastic you were about that round two? About riding me? How quickly you said yes? That’s really what got your legs all tired out.”
“And I’ll do it again too,” Vale says proudly, that too turning into a whine as I press a quick kiss to his neck that turns into me sucking on the skin, smiling when I feel him grind against me. “ Ya basta. We’re not having sex outside.”
“No one’s around.”
“Not the point. Wasn’t this so we could relax?”
I let out a sigh, my forehead falling to his shoulder. “ Fine. We’ll relax.”
A few minutes later, we’re in; I’m sitting down and Vale’s straddling me, my hands entirely in the back of his chonies.
“ We’re relaxing ,” he whines, a hint of tiredness in his voice as he leans down on me.
“You’re going to have to let me recover.
I don’t know if my insides will ever be the same.
But, just so you know, in case you couldn’t tell, you were really good.
Perfect, even. And I can’t wait to do that with you many, many more times. ”
I’m able to keep my smile soft, but inside I’m doing a fist bump and blushing and barking. I’m feeling like a king with my king. Like I could fucking do anything. Throw a tree. Lift a car. Shotgun a beer without burping right after.
“Me too.”
I take my hands off Vale’s butt and give him his own back massage. Anything to be touching as much of him as possible. I need to be touching him. I’m not sure how I’ll be able to do anything without touching him even minimally going forward.
“You make me really happy,” I tell him.
He turns around and sits up, his hands coming to my shoulders, rubbing them. And his head comes in close, his mouth pressing a kiss to my cheek. “You make me really happy too.”
“And I want this all the time.”
“Want what?”
“Ways to show you how into you I am. How strongly I feel about you. About us. For you to know that you do have all of me. Heart and all.”
I look out at the wilderness. At the sky above it, filled with stars and a bright full moon.
“I think—” I start. “No, I know that I’m tired of hiding you.
I don’t want what happened at my parents’ house to ever happen again.
Especially after tonight. I can’t want this, you, as much as I do and expect you—or me—to keep pretending we’re just friends.
I don’t want to keep being someone I’m not just because it’s what they want from me.
I … I’m still figuring it out, but I want to be open about me.
About us. I’m not letting this moment go.
It and you are too important. I’m not going back. ”
“I want that for you,” Vale says. “I want to see you not having to hide yourself anymore. For everyone to see all of you, and how great you are.”
“I do too. I want to come out of this better and stronger and more fearless and … more me. More the person I’m going to spend the rest of my life being.
I—I want to believe that this might work.
That I’ll survive. And I want to look in the mirror and see the person my Pops sees.
That Kat sees. I want to be the person that you see.
All the time. Not just when we’re alone. ”
“Well, I’m here for you. Always.” He leans in so he can kiss me, and I happily take it. His lips and his tongue lightly grazing mine help keep all the fears I’ve got about this and my future a little more calm.
“I, uh … want to wait until spring, though. I think I should wait. Or, at least when the semester’s over.
It’d be for the best to get through the season and the tournament, just keep focusing on the game, even if it means keeping us under wraps for a little longer.
I don’t want to break the whole squad with this.
I’ve put in way too much effort to start poking the bear now.
Finish this out and figure out how to tell them in January, when we’re in off-season and guys like Barrera will be on their way out anyway and everyone else has a solid eight months to either be cool with it or figure out how to leave their own feelings off the pitch. ”
Vale lets out a sigh, his hand holding my cheek. His eyes are drinking in the moonlight and he gives me a soft smile. “I think that makes a lot of sense.”
“I wish I saw a way to just jump sooner. It feels shitty, making you wait.”
“I can wait with you. I promise.” He leans in all the way now, lying on me, his arms wrapped around my neck.
“I just—I never want to give you a reason to doubt how I feel about you. To make you think that me prioritizing this sport means I’m not so fucking obsessed with you.”
“I believe in you and in us. And I’m all in with you, Gabi. I knew what I was getting into, and it’s been even better than anything I imagined.”
“Me too, baby.”
“And it’s just, what, about a month and a half until finals and winter break? We’ve got this.”
We sit in silence. Somewhere, an owl calls out. And I think about the future I want. One that looks a lot different from almost any version the me of the past almost eighteen and a half years has dreamed of. But one that could be better than even the me existing right now could imagine.
“I remember watching A Knight’s Tale for the first time,” I tell him, my own voice sounding a little tired now, especially with the hot water and the way his hands on my muscles are relaxing me.
“And seeing Heath Ledger’s character get that bandana or whatever it was from his girl when he was about to joust. Ever since then I’ve wanted that.
I’ve wanted the football version of that.
I used to picture having a girlfriend who shows up to my games and makes me want to show off for her and think, that’s what I want my life to look like.
To see a girl I’m in love with there in the stands, just for me.
“And then I realized that I’d actually be just as happy if it was a boyfriend showing up to my games.
Wearing my name on his back. I’d be just as happy to play for him.
To look over at the stands after making a save that’s going to go viral on social media and see a boy I’m falling in love with cheering me on.
It was you. It is you. I’m not giving that up.
I’m not giving you up. I’m not going another season leaving that part of me off the pitch. I don’t want to.”
Vale’s head shoots back up again and his hands come up to my head, fingers gliding down the side of my jawline. And his mouth curves into a smile as he says, “You’re falling in love with me?”
I let out a quiet laugh, letting those hands nudge me close and to his lips. I nod, letting myself enjoy this kiss before telling him, “I am. I’m falling in love with you, Vale.”
“I’m falling in love with you too, Gabi.”
“We’re going to be okay,” I add. “And one day I’m going to kiss you in the stands. Right there on the pitch, even.”
That’s what I want. A month and a half is all I need. Just keep being the person who doesn’t stray, who follows orders, who gives double, triple everyone else for the game and for Coach and for Barrera. Don’t give them any reason to put me on their shit list, and we’ll be okay.
“I promise.”