Chapter 5
Two weeks later…
My sore eyes flutter open, the bright lights scorching so harshly I have to snap them shut again.
I can hear the sound of a heart monitor on my right.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
Followed by footsteps and movement around me.
The first thing I feel is pain—deep, throbbing, and all-consuming agony radiating from between my legs, up through my abdomen like fire.
My throat is shredded and parched as a weak groan escapes me.
Squinting my eyes open, the first thing I notice is I’m in our bed, in the master bedroom. The familiar dark sheets, the heavy curtains, and the sickly faint scent of Law’s cologne lingering on the pillow beside me.
My hands are heavily bandaged, throbbing with every heartbeat, and there’s a thick dressing between my legs, drenched through. I can barely move without discomfort spreading through my core.
A nurse stands at the side of the bed, checking an IV bag with medical detachment. She doesn’t smile, doesn’t soften her face, she barely even looks at me.
“Oh, you’re awake,” she says coldly, like she’s announcing the weather.
I try to speak but my throat feels torn.
“What… happened?” I rasp.
The nurse glances down at her chart, then back at me with the same emotionless expression.
“Well, you were brought in after severe trauma a little over two weeks ago and had multiple surgeries.”
I groan, sluggishly shaking my head from side to side, heavy eyes closing, still not entirely with it.
“How bad is it?”
“We removed as much glass as we could from your uterus and vaginal canal. You have a fractured pelvis, and needed a partial hysterectomy since there was too much damage.”
“Hysterectomy? I don’t understand.” I whisper, struggling to peel my tender eyes open to look up at her again.
She continues without pause, tone flat and harsh.
“You were also pregnant, Blaire.”
The moment the words leave her mouth, my entire world grinds to a devastating halt.
“Approximately thirteen weeks. Of course, the fetus didn’t survive that kind of trauma. Miscarriage was inevitable given the extent of the internal injuries and blood loss you had.”
I just gawk at her, wide-eyed and unblinking, tears gathering as a tremor begins to build deep inside my tense body.
“What?” I manage, barely a breath.
“You were pregnant and…” she continues to repeat, but everything else starts to blur around me, her answer murmuring into a dark haze.
It hits me like a bulldozer, and something broken escapes my throat, half sob, half cry.
My bandaged hand instinctively moves to my stomach. I press down, and fresh searing pain explodes through me. But I continue harder, like I can somehow bring it back.
“No… no, please…” The words splinter apart as they leave my mouth. “I didn’t know… I didn’t know I was carrying a baby…”
Tears pour down my cheeks, hot and relentless, while I stare into the emptiness in front of me. My chest feels like it’s going to collapse in on itself. I can’t breathe, I can’t fucking think.
The nurse watches me with cold indifference, arms crossed.
“Law requested you be brought home once you were stable enough. He said you’d recover better here.” Her tone doesn’t change. “You lost a lot of blood, and you may need more surgeries later for the scarring and… other damage. But the pregnancy is gone. There’s nothing left to save.”
It isn’t physical pain that destroys me, it’s grief. Pure, relentless, bottomless grief.
It smashes through me, shattering my heart into a million tiny pieces I’ll never be able to put back together again.
It’s the kind of suffering that doesn’t just hurt… it erases you.
It fucking ends you.
I start hyperventilating frantically before a sudden loud, broken wail explodes from my mouth, raw and animalistic, echoing off the walls as whatever remains of me finally breaks.
“No! Please no, not my baby…” The words come out strangled, drowned beneath violent sobs. “They killed my baby!”
I scream, tears pouring, the misery darkening everything around me.
I was pregnant with Law’s child—our fucking child—and he let them kill it. He let them reach inside me while our baby was growing there.
With my eyes squeezed shut, I bury the side of my face into the now-soaked pillow, desperate to disappear, desperate to escape the overwhelming, soul-crushing cries destroying my battered body.
I clutch my stomach harder, nails digging into the bandages as the loss devours me entirely. The baby I never even knew I was carrying... gone. Stolen from me before I ever had the chance to know them. Before I could hold them. Before I could love them. Before I could keep them safe.
“I’m so sorry...” I bawl into the fabric, my voice muffled and fractured beyond recognition. “I’m so sorry I couldn’t protect you...”
My entire body trembles as fresh tears soak the pillow beneath me.
“I’m so sorry Mommy never got the chance to love you,” I cry brokenly. “I’m so sorry you never got to know how much I would’ve loved you.”
The weeps grow louder and more desperate, sorrow filling the deepest part of me. Sinking so deep I know it will never leave.
With the heart monitor now beeping erratically, the grief I’m feeling is overpowered by a furious rage. I begin yanking wires out my body, quick and frantic. Blood spurts and the nurse panics, trying to stop me.
“Don’t do that, you’ll die!” she shouts, grabbing my bandaged hands.
I shoot forward in a frenzy, my stitches tearing, until my face is inches from hers, soaked eyes bulging.
“THAT’S WHAT I WANT, YOU DUMB FUCKING BITCHHHHH!!”
My screech is so powerful, demonic and extreme. She flinches back, like she is finally seeing the turmoil inside me for the first time and not just reading it from some stupid fucking notes.
“Leave us,” Law’s voice lashes through the room like a whip.
My gut plummets, feeling nauseous, and the nurse pulls her arm free from my desperate, bloody grip, taking steps back.
My swollen, bloodshot eyes snap to him as he stands at the foot of the bed, stony and immaculate, staring down at the wreckage he created.
The nurse leaves, closing the door with a soft click that seals me in with the devil himself.
“How fucking dare you,” I hiss through gritted teeth, voice trembling with fury and agony. “Get the hell out.”
Law’s expression doesn’t change.
“If you haven’t noticed… this is still my house.”
A single tear burns down my cheek as my entire body vibrates with pure rage and soul-rooted sadness.
“You really don’t give a single fuck, do you?” My words fault. “You heartless bastard.”
“I saved you, didn’t I?” He answers coldly.
I let out a bitter scoff and sharply look away, unable to stomach the sight of him any longer.
“I got you the medical attention you needed. Just in time.”
My glare whips back to him, blazing with undeniable hatred.
“You want a fucking thank you?” I seethe, disgust dripping from every word. “You should have let me die on that floor! You should have left me there to bleed out with the pieces of our child!”
“You’re still my wife,” he declares, as if it means anything anymore.
I gather what little strength I have left and spit at him. The dehydrated, white-flecked saliva lands on the sheets, and he glances down at it for a brief second, then turns to leave.
“Did you know?” I shout, and he stops mid-stride, back still turned to me. “Did you know I was fucking pregnant?!”
In his silence, his chin lifts slightly, but he doesn’t face or answer me.
“You watched them brutally rape me, then tear our baby out… and you didn’t even care,” my lips tremble, the anguish suppressing my ribs like a vice. “You saw the blood and pieces of what was ours on the floor… and it meant nothing to you.”
There’s a beat of quite, but still, he says nothing.
“You’re not human,” I bite, pointing a trembling, bandaged finger at him. “You’re an evil, soulless fucking monster, Law. And I hope you burn for eternity in the deepest pit of hell, you dead-hearted cunt.”
He side-eyes me over his shoulder for a brief, icy moment, then continues walking out without saying anything.
The door shuts behind him, and my tired body slumps back against the damp pillow.
I’m left alone with nothing but the devastating noise of my own weeps and the gaping hole where my baby used to be.