Chapter 94 #2
Asher nods. “Yeah. I mean, he’s my baby brother. Wouldn’t you if you were in my shoes?” He winces as soon as the question leaves his mouth. “I didn’t—”
“It’s fine,” I tell him. “Really.”
Silence stretches between us again.
“Sorry. I just,” Asher lifts his chin to the sky, searching for his words. “I know this can’t be easy for you. It’s weird as fuck for me.”
“Yeah,” I mutter, glancing back at Julio, who’s still glaring daggers in Kenji’s direction. “It’s weird as fuck for me too.”
He chuckles. “Well, that’s something at least.”
I match his grin and some of the tension between my shoulders dissipates. We stay like that for a while, each of us drinking our beers and watching the rest of the partygoers around us.
“He’s a good kid,” Asher tells me. When I give him a confused look, he clarifies, “Adam. He’s a good kid. He follows the rules. Never gets into trouble. That kid lives and breathes hockey, and he’s really talented. He sketches and is like, artistic and shit.”
I nod along to what he says, not really sure why he’s bothering to tell me any of this.
“Okay.”
“I just … he’s a good kid.”
“So you’ve said.”
Asher curses under his breath. “Sorry. Fuck.” He shakes his head, his mouth grimacing. “Look, can I be honest with you for a minute?”
Julio’s eyes lock with mine over Asher’s shoulder. He raises a brow in a silent question as if to ask, what is this guy’s deal?
I shake my head and return my attention to Asher because fuck if I know. Julio shrugs, turns off the grill, and piles a plate high with meat before taking it over to the outside tables where most of our team seem to have set up camp.
“Shoot,” I tell him.
Asher spends a few seconds glancing around and collecting his thoughts. “Adam really wants you to like him,” he says.
“Alright.” I mean, I can’t make any promises. I barely know the guy. But I invited them, didn’t I? I’m not trying to be a dick. I’d like to think I’m giving the kid a fair shake.
“He has this idea in his head,” Asher tells him. “Like the three of us can be real brothers. Or at the very least … I don’t know. Best fucking friends or something like that.”
I snort. I don’t mean to. It just sorta slips out.
“The guy doesn’t even know me,” I say.
“I know. But Adam is … he’s different. He gets attached to people easily and since your mom married our dad he just …” he grimaces. “He’s going to push his way into your life. Or at least, he’s going to try.”
“Why?” I ask. He’s got his brother. From the look of things, at least one parent that he likes. I don’t know what the deal is with their mom but they were groomsmen in their dad’s wedding so there’s got to be some sort of decent relationship there.
“Because family is the single most important thing to him,” Asher tells me. “And as far as Adam is concerned, you’re a part of ours.”
“Good for him,” I tell him. “But I already have a family.” I tip my beer toward Julio before pointing at the rest of my roommates and ending with Cecilia. “The one I was born into didn’t work out so I built my own.”
Asher nods, his expression contemplative. “I get that,” he says. “But I’m asking you to give my brother a chance. You don’t have to accept or even like me. I’m cool with where we currently stand. But Adam is sensitive. Just … tell me what it is that you need from me to give my brother a chance?”
My jaw clenches. I don’t like the position he’s putting me in right now. I’m not trying to be a dick but he’s not asking for any small favor. Allowing them into my life, into my family, that’s a risk I’m not sure I’m willing to take.
“Why me?” I ask. “He’s got a new mom he can go connect with. Why not focus his energy there?”
“No offense man, but your mom is—”
“A piece of work.” I finish for him.
He huffs out a breath. “Yeah. I mean, my dad loves her so I guess there’s that. She’s just …” His lips press together and his brows pull forward as he mulls over whatever it is he was about to say.
“She’s selfish,” I tell him. “She might act like she loves your father and maybe she really does. But she does so because he offers her something of value. Money, or security, or maybe just the feeling of being wanted. I don’t really know.
My mom has her own baggage I’m not willing to try and unpack.
But her love comes with conditions. I’m assuming you’ve already realized this? ”
“Yeah. It was fine at first. I mean she’s nice and all but it’s like nothing we do is good enough. She nitpicks the stupidest things and sometimes it feels like she’s trying to turn us into people that we’re not.”
I don’t bother telling him she’s recreating the family she lost. He’ll figure it out eventually.
“I don’t know what to tell you, man. She is who she is. I stopped trying to figure out her motives years ago.”
Asher sighs. “I get it,” he tells me. “But Adam was really looking forward to the whole big happy family thing, and since he’s not going to find that with your mom … “
“He’s turned his attention to me?”
He shrugs. “Yeah. I guess you could say that.”
My fingers tighten around the bottle in my hand. “I’m not looking to replace my dead brother,” I tell him.
Asher’s shoulders slump, and his expression falls with defeat. “Right. Yeah. Um.”
“But I’m open to considering friends.”
His head jerks up, dark brown widening. “Yeah?”
I nod. “Yeah. We can start with friends.”