7. Kavanaugh
7
KAVANAUGH
Eli sighed, taking a sip of his water. “I still don’t understand what happened.”
“Just didn’t work out,” I shrugged, taking another shot. I signaled for the bartender, but I should have just asked him to leave the bottle.
“Why didn’t it work out? I thought you were going to talk to her, make a change.”
Yep, that sounded like something I would say. In fact, I was pretty sure I recalled saying something very similar after I found out she was going to live. “No more lies, I told myself. No more jealousy. Just make it work. Some way, I’d find a way to make it all work,” I rambled.
“And yet you sit here,” Red snorted.
“Yep,” I said, taking another shot.
“But you still haven’t told us what happened,” Eli said.
I spun toward him, nearly falling off the stool. “You want to know what happened?”
“I do,” Red said from behind me.
I spun toward him, realizing too late that the motion was only making me dizzy. Red caught me, gripping my arm to keep me upright. I nodded my thanks. Then Eli was standing there, staring down at me.
I grinned. “You came around. You must really love me.”
“Not really. I just didn’t want to pick you up off the floor.”
I waved him off, tapping the bar top. “Another, good man!”
“Isla, Kavanaugh. What happened?”
“What happened? That’s a very good question. What happened? You know, there’s a moment when you’re standing before this woman and she’s so perfect and so right. You know what I mean?” I didn’t bother looking at them for an answer. I was too busy staring off into space. “It was so fucking right. And then I realized that I would always be trying to live up to some big expectation she had, but I would always fail.”
“Why would you fail?”
I raised an eyebrow at Red. Like he didn’t already know the answer. “Because that’s what I do, right? She would want me to be someone else, someone who told the truth all the time and shit like that.”
“Yeah, those are high demands,” Eli grunted.
“And there are things I can’t tell her.”
“There are things you don’t want to tell her, dipshit,” Red retorted. “There’s a difference.”
I pointed at him with a grin. “See? You get me. You feel what I’m throwing out there.”
“Don’t try and talk like a gangster. You suck at it.”
I flipped Eli off and swiveled to the bar for my drink, only to find it empty. “Hey, barkeep! How about another one?” I spun back to the guys and sighed, resting my chin in the palm of my hand. “Anyways, she said it wasn’t going to work and I agreed. And then I said something about IKE.”
“You stupid fuck,” Red grunted.
“Yeah, she wasn’t too happy about that, but you didn’t see her in his arms. There was something there.” I swayed on the stool, remembering the jab of pain I felt when I walked into the hospital room and found her in his arms. “It’s not fucking fair. He’s IKE. Stupid name,” I grumbled. “What kind of name is that, anyway?”
“What kind of name is Bradford?” Eli retorted.
“A stupid one,” I grumbled. “Stupid father and his stupid names. He’s stupid.”
“Alright,” Red sighed. “I think that’s enough for one night.”
He grabbed my arm and hauled me off the stool, dragging me toward the door. “Where are we going?”
“Home.”
I snorted in derision. “I don’t have a home. She kicked me out. I’m gone. Long, long gone.”
“You’re going to your home.” Then he stopped and looked me up and down. “Maybe my couch for the night. Can’t have you passing out drunk on your floor and choking on your own vomit.”
“Hey, I resent that. I don’t have a floor to choke on.”
“Yes, you do. Cash left.”
“Cash,” I muttered as I stumbled through the door. “There’s another stupid name. “Hey, my name is Money. Big Money,” I jeered. “Just like Rafe. What kind of name is that?”
“His name was actually Guy,” Eli corrected.
I snorted again. I was doing a lot of that. Was snorting a thing? I snorted again and again, just to test it out.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Red snapped.
“Snorting.”
“Why?”
“Cuz I was thinking about snorting, and then I was wondering if I snort too much. Snort. That’s a weird word, huh? Snort.”
“Fuck, he’s so drunk,” Eli muttered. “If only I had thought to record this.”
“Who names their kid Guy, anyway? Like, did they forget his name and decided just to call him Guy? Uh…hey, Guy ! I could do that, too. Maybe I’ll name my kid Person. Then I can be like, Hey, Person! And then I’ll never have to remember the kid’s name.”
“Well, have fun tonight,” Eli said, slapping Red on the shoulder.
I grinned at him. “Hey, you, too!” Then I turned to Red. “Why is he telling us to have fun? What are we doing?”
He rolled his eyes and opened the passenger side door of his truck, shoving me inside. “Sleeping.”
I frowned as I fell over the seat. “That doesn’t sound like fun.” Red flung open his door and got in, grabbing my head and tossing me upright. “Ow! Watch the neck. You could kill me.”
“Trust me, if I wanted to kill you, I would have done it as soon as we walked out of the bar.”
I grinned widely at him. “It’s my winning personality. You can’t get enough of me. I’m too pretty.”
“Yeah, that’s it.”
I sighed, leaning back in my seat. “Do you think she misses me?”
“Great, we’re onto the sad, lonely portion of the evening.”
“Because I think we were good together.” I swiveled my head to look at him. “You know, aside from all the times we were arguing.”
“And when you lied to her and refused to be honest with her.”
“That’s the same thing,” I muttered.
“So, you can figure that out when you’re drunk, but not when you’re sober?”
I sighed again. Sighing, that was another weird one. A big exhale into the universe. I did it again. And then again.
“What are you doing now?” he grumbled.
“Oh, sighing.”
“Because you’re sad, lonely, and pathetic?”
That sounded like an insult, but I couldn’t be sure. “No, I’m expelling my energy into the…ether or whatever.”
“If you start Icelandic throat singing, I will pull out my gun and shoot you.”
I laughed at that, pointing to the gun hanging on his gun rack. “You don’t have to. There’s one right there. I’ll even give you a head start.”
“That’s me that gives you a head start, idiot.”
I chuckled at my mistake, then swiveled in my seat to face him. “You know, I feel like we don’t talk enough.”
“Trust me, we talk plenty.”
I tapped him on the shoulder because I couldn’t reach his chest. “How are things with you,” I whispered.
He slowly turned, his eyes almost glowing in the darkness. “Remove your hand from my arm.”
I did as he asked, scoffing at his brisk tone. “Scoffing. Now, there’s another one.”
“What?”
“Scoffing.” I scoffed again for effect. “It’s a good one, you know? Really relays your emotions.”
“I can relay my emotions without making a single sound.” He turned to face me. “What am I feeling right now?”
I stared at the hard lines of his face and really concentrated. “Dude, I’m getting nothing from you.”
Sighing, he faced forward.
“See!” I pointed at him. “Right there. You’re exasperated!”
“Wow. I never thought you would be so good at this.”
I glanced over at his bored expression. “You know what we need?”
He sighed again. “No, but I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”
“A guy’s trip.”
He laughed at that. “Sure.”
“No, I’m serious. It would be good for us.”
“You know what else would be good for us?”
I frowned, thinking it over. “Nope.”
“Getting you sober.”
“That doesn’t sound fun at all.”
“Well, maybe you’ll feel differently in the morning when you’re puking up your guts.”
I giggled at his words. “Puking up my guts. Did you ever wonder where that phrase came from?”
“Not at all.”
“Like…did someone’s guts actually come up? Were intestines all over the place? And did that person choke on them? I would pay money to see that.”
He sighed again.
“What’s wrong, Big Red? What’s got you down?” I reached over and gripped his shoulder, squeezing it tight. My good friend was looking a little tense. And then he slowly turned and looked at me.
“Just wondering how much longer before I can shoot you.”
I stumbled into the kitchen, barely making it onto the stool before my head thunked onto the table. “It’s too bright.”
“Zoe, open the blinds.”
I cried out as sunlight burst into the room, blinding me and making me want to puke. “Why? Why would you do that?”
Red’s deep laughter only further irritated my headache. “Because I wanted to see if I could make you puke up your guts. Or was it your intestines?”
“What?”
“It would be interesting to see if you’d choke on them.”
I peeled my eyes open and glared at him. “What kind of sick fuck are you?”
His wide grin only made me want to punch him in the face, but I didn’t think I could stay upright long enough to achieve that particular goal.
“You’d better get some coffee in you. We have shit to do today.”
Everything in this house was way too fucking cheery for 0 fuck hundred in the morning. The white tiles and the white walls. Fuck, even Zoe was wearing white today. It was all too much for my alcohol-riddled brain to take.
“Like what?”
“Back to work. Getting you moved back into your house?—”
“Whoa, what are you talking about?”
He sighed heavily and my brain fizzled for just a second, like it was trying to spark a memory. “Cash is gone and Lock’s in charge. It’s your lucky day because he told me to get you back on the job.” Then he looked me up and down. “Though, I doubt he meant in this condition, but you’ll have to do.”
“And my house?”
“Like I said, Cash is gone.”
“But he could come back. I don’t want to move back in, only to move back out.”
He crossed his arms over his chest, staring at me in a way that only Red could.
“What?”
“I’m just trying to figure out if drinking last night actually affected your brain or if you really are this stupid.”
I glared at him, not appreciating the insult. “I’m just saying it would be a lot easier if I knew this was permanent. I don’t want to get my hopes up only to be crushed.”
He rolled his eyes dramatically. “You’re such a girl when you’ve been drinking.”
“Hey!” Zoe said, spinning around and punching her husband in the shoulder. I forgot she was there and nodded at her in appreciation for helping me out.
He rubbed his shoulder, frowning at his wife. “You know, you’re very violent when you’re pregnant.”
“That’s because I’m angry all the time.”
“Maybe you should work on that.”
“Maybe you should work on not getting me pregnant.”
“And how would I do that?”
She pressed her finger to her chin, staring up in thought. “How would you not get your wife pregnant? That’s a real thinker. Hmmm. Maybe you could get your junk fixed.”
Red immediately paled, covering his dick. Commiserating with him, I did the same. “Are you insane, woman? No tools are ever going near my dick.”
“Why? You let them pierce your dick.”
My eyes bugged out in shock. “You did what?”
“That was private!” he hissed at Zoe. Then he spun on me. “And you keep your goddamn mouth shut.”
My eyes flicked to his dick. I couldn’t help it. I was in shock. “Can I see it?”
“No, you can’t see it. What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Nothing! I’ve just never seen one before.”
“And you’re never going to as long as you’re with me,” he retorted.
“But what if I want to get one?”
“Then have someone else show you,” he said, storming out of the kitchen.
I hopped off the stool with much more energy than I had five minutes ago, rushing after him as he fled the house. I winced as the stones around the house bit into my feet. I swore he was taking the longest route to his truck just to put me through the most pain. But I finally caught up to him, grabbing onto the handle just as he started up the engine.
I jerked the door open and climbed inside, barely getting my feet in when he threw us in reverse. “Is it painful?”
“I’m not talking to you about this.”
“Were you allowed to have sex? How does this work? Did you do the tip of your dick or the base? And how long ago was this?”
The truck stopped with a jerk and I flew back, then forward as he shifted and took off in the other direction. I caught myself from flying through the window, but just barely. When he stopped outside OPS, I got out, chasing after him.
“Come on! Just give me a hint! Just something! I just lost my girlfriend. I have nothing to keep me going!”
“That’s your fucking problem,” he threw over his shoulder.
“And your problem when I go out on a job with you. If I have nothing to live for, it’s your ass on the line.”
He barked out a laugh. “And your knowledge about the piercing in my dick is going to save my life?”
“You never know. It could. I’m depressed. I could lose it any minute!”
He stalked into the new building of OPS and headed for the elevator. I quickly followed, needing him to get me inside since I was no longer on any of the security.
“I need to know things like this. What if you were held hostage and killed, and the only way to identify your body was through the piercing on your dick? If I didn’t know the exact placement, how would I know if it was really your body? Maybe it’s really a body double. Maybe you’re really being held in a Colombian prison and they only pierced some other guy’s dick to pose as you.” The doors opened, but I grabbed his arm and forced him to look at me. “But until I examine that dick piercing, I have no way of positively identifying you in the future if you’re ever taken hostage.”
Red’s jaw ticked as I forced him to face me down. I wasn’t letting this go. I had nothing else going for me right now. I would find out the exact location of his piercing if it was the last thing I ever did.
A throat cleared and I slowly turned my head to face Lock and FNG.
“You have a dick piercing?” FNG grinned. “I did not see that coming.”
Lock cocked his head at me. “Is there a reason you’re in the elevator in nothing but your underwear?”
I frowned, then looked down at my bare feet. And my bare legs. Yep, I had no clothes on. That explained why it felt so breezy on the way over. I released Red and stepped back, clearing my throat.
“Uh…laundry day.”
“And your underwear was all that was left?”
I shrugged with a laugh. “Everything else is at Isla’s.”
“They broke up,” Red said by way of explanation.
Lock raised an eyebrow, then jerked his head at me. “You’ll need some pants in order to work. Maybe some shoes.”
I rushed after him, grabbing his arm. “Wait, that’s it? I’m really in?”
He looked down at his arm, then back to me. “Yes, and I would prefer you not hold my arm when you’re naked. And for what it’s worth, talking about another man’s dick piercing is frowned upon at work.”
He headed off to the office, leaving me standing in my skivvies. I huffed in amusement. I was really back. I clapped my hands, then shook my ass. “I’m back, baby!”
“Glad to see not all your life is in the shitter,” Red muttered as he walked past.