21. Isla
21
ISLA
Someone was tap dancing in my brain and I was not enjoying the performance. I rolled over, peeling my tongue off the roof of my mouth in disgust. What was that taste? Was that vomit? Had I thrown up and not known about it? Was that even possible?
I pushed myself into a sitting position, grasping for the wall that wasn’t there. My hand met a strong, steady shoulder instead. “Thank God,” I grumbled. “I was about to fall over.”
“You looked like you were about to,” IKE rumbled.
I winced, pressing my hand to my ear. Geez, why did he have to shout at me? I was right here. “Can you lower your voice? I know it was stupid to drink last night, but shouting is not the answer.”
“Give it a minute.”
Give what a minute? My brain? The entire world? Everything was shifting. Tectonic plates were moving at an alarming rate. I could feel the ground moving beneath my feet, shaking the entire building. I was going to fall through the cracks and be boiled to death by lava.
At least it would be a quick death, if not painless.
IKE shifted beside me and then I felt the bed dip. I nearly fell backward, but he caught me, holding me upright. The small movement nearly made me throw up.
“I don’t feel so good.”
“I’m not surprised. You drank half a bottle of vodka on peanuts.”
I groaned, barely remembering that first drink where I thought it went down so smoothly and I should have more. More . That was the stupidest word on the face of the earth.
“Just relax.”
His fingers prodded my skull and then he was massaging my head, working out the worst of the headache. It was still there, still hammering away, but the sharp pain wasn’t quite as intense. I finally peeled my eyes open and dared to look around the room. It looked…normal.
“Oh, thank God.”
“What?”
“I thought for sure I would open my eyes and find the room destroyed.”
“You should have seen it last night,” he mumbled.
I turned sharply, regretting it an instant later when nausea hit hard. “Why? What happened last night?”
“There were peanut shells everywhere.”
“Peanuts? I don’t remember—” I snapped my mouth shut as I vaguely remembered Jane telling the concierge that we were going to need peanuts. I had stupidly thought they would bring us a can of peanuts, but no. They brought us peanuts in the shells.
I fell forward on the bed, burying my face in the covers. “Oh no. No, this is so bad.” I sat up and turned to face him. “How bad was it?”
“Don’t worry about it. We need to get some food in you and get on the road.”
“Right, the whole murder thing.” I winced as I moved to the edge of the bed. The thought of traveling anywhere right now made my stomach churn, but I only had myself to blame.
“Go take a shower and we’ll grab breakfast.”
“Right.” I pushed off the bed, wobbling when my knees almost gave out. Luckily, IKE was there to catch me before I collapsed. “Thanks. Do you want to join me?”
“Not this morning,” he answered, turning away. Was it my imagination or was he mad at me? There was something different this morning—almost like a distance between us. Was it because I had been drinking? Was he mad at me for that?
I wouldn’t blame him if he was. We were here to do a job and I was slowing things down. The guys were probably pissed at us for throwing a wrench in their plans.
I showered as quickly as I could without falling over. The cool water helped to wake me up and get rid of the nausea, but did nothing for my head. By the time I got out, I could at least stand on my own two feet without falling over.
I wrapped the towel around my body and tucked it between my breasts, remembering how just last night, IKE had me pressed up against the wall, touching me everywhere. I clenched my thighs together, chastising myself for thinking about sex when we were supposed to be hunting my killer ex-husband.
“Priorities,” I muttered as I pulled open the door.
“What’s that?” IKE asked.
“Uh…nothing. I was just reminding myself about my priorities.”
He was already dressed, looking perfectly handsome in yet another dark suit with a vest and tie. Did the man ever wear anything else? “Where did you get that?”
“Why do you ask?”
“Because you didn’t bring much with you.”
He grinned as he buttoned the sleeve of his shirt. “I always have a spare suit.”
“Do you ever wear just…jeans?”
“Do you want me to wear jeans?”
“I’d like to know what you look like in them.”
“I would imagine I look the same as anyone else.”
Somehow, I highly doubted that.
“About last night…I’m really sorry for everything.”
He grabbed his jacket off the hangar, swinging it smoothly around his back and sliding one arm into the sleeve. “And why would you be sorry?”
“For messing everything up. I know we’re just causing problems.”
“You aren’t the problem,” he mumbled, his eyes on the ground.
What was that supposed to mean? “Well, anyway, I’m sorry.”
“Get dressed,” he said curtly. “We need to talk.”
He wouldn’t look at me. Just two minutes ago, he was smiling and joking with me, and now he was avoiding my gaze. What the hell had gone wrong? I pulled out my luggage and quickly dressed, not looking nearly as fancy as him in my jeans and comfy sweater. But dammit, it was cold, and I would take warmth over cold any day of the week.
I sat on the edge of the bed and pulled on my socks. “So, what do you want to talk about?”
He took the office chair from the desk and rolled it over, sitting across from me. His elbows rested on his knees as he worked up to say whatever it was he needed to say.
“Isla, there were some things you said last night…”
“Oh, God,” I groaned, shoving my face in my hands. “It was horrible, right? I tend to say stupid things when I’m drunk. Just ask Riley.”
“No, it was about something I did.”
“I said something about what you did?” I repeated in confusion. “What was it?”
He took a deep breath and looked up at me. Pain bracketed his eyes—something I’d never seen before. He looked absolutely devastated. I was on my feet and kneeling before him in an instant.
“What is it? What happened?”
“Isla,” he shook his head. “Fuck, get off your knees. You should never be on your knees for me. Not ever. Not after?—”
“After what?”
He cursed under his breath and looked away. “The night I came to see you…the night you were abducted…” He swallowed hard and faced me once again. “Did I…Did I rape you?”
I was so shocked by his words that I just knelt in front of him, unable to move. “IKE, where the fuck did you get that from?”
“You said last night that I kissed you, that I was pushy.”
I didn’t remember any of that. “I don’t know what I said last night, but when you showed up at my door that night, you were drunk. Yes, you tried to kiss me twice, and yes, you were pushy, but…but I never once thought you would rape me. It was just a kiss.”
He blew out a harsh breath, his eyes squeezing closed for a moment. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”
“Because we were locked in that shipping container and…I thought we were going to die.”
“That would have been the perfect time to tell me,” he grunted.
“Why? So we could discuss it to death and what it meant when we both thought we were going to die?”
“Yes, so I could remember that. So I wouldn’t feel so fucking alone in the last hours of my life. Did you ever consider that I needed something to hold onto—some form of hope?”
“Did you ever consider that I couldn’t tell you?” I snapped. “I was with Kavanaugh.”
“But it was me that kissed you. Not the other way around.”
“And I wanted it!” I shouted. “Do you know what that did to me? IKE, even when I stayed at your house, I felt something between us, and I tried to tell myself that it was just an attraction. I mean, married people still feel attracted to other people. That doesn’t mean they go out and sleep with them. But when you kissed me, I knew I wanted more, and that was wrong because I was with Kavanaugh.”
“And what about when we got out of there?” he asked, pushing to his feet. He stalked away from me, pacing the room. “You wanted to kiss me in the hospital room, so why didn’t you just tell me then?”
I sighed, slumping down on the bed. “You said not to go to you until I was sure. IKE, I wanted to come to you with nothing between us. Why are we even arguing about this? We’re together. Kavanaugh is in the past.”
“We’re arguing about this because you kept this from me. I have always been honest with you. With every single fucking thing, I tell you the truth, and you hid this from me. Isn’t that the same fucking reason you ended things with him?”
I sucked in a harsh breath at his words, knowing they were true. He was absolutely right. I felt he didn’t need to know, so I didn’t tell him. “I’m sorry. You’re right.”
He finally stopped pacing and leaned back against the desk, his body relaxing slightly. “Isla, when you said that last night…I had no fucking clue what had happened. I thought I had—Don’t ever fucking hide something like that from me again.”
I shook my head, feeling my heart pound in my chest. “I won’t.”
“Swear it.”
“I swear,” I said immediately, terrified that I would lose him.
He walked over to me, pulling me to my feet. As soon as he wrapped me in his arms, I calmed down and let his strength wrap around me. It was the smallest lie, but it had made him doubt himself. I would never make that mistake again.
“Come on. Let’s get something to eat.”
I nodded, glad the fight was over. That was my first real fight with IKE, and I wanted it to be the last, though I knew that wasn’t a reality.
“What are you thinking?” he asked as we walked out of the room. He banged on IRIS’s hotel door, then stepped back, waiting for my answer.
“I was thinking that I don’t like fighting with you.”
“I don’t like it either.”
“Why can’t we fight over normal stuff?”
He raised an eyebrow at me. “And what is normal stuff?”
“You know, what direction the toilet paper should face on the roll? Or who was the last one to empty the dishwasher? Or how many dryer sheets should go in the dryer?”
“People actually fight about that stuff?”
“Some people do,” I answered as the door opened and IRIS walked out, holding Jane’s hand.
“Some people do what?”
“Fight about dishwashers and dryer sheets,” IKE answered for me.
“Oh, totally. This one is always bitching about how I wash the dishes,” he said, jerking his thumb over his shoulder.
Jane punched him hard. “That’s only because you do them wrong on purpose so I’ll have to do them and won’t ask you to do them ever again!”
“You do that?” I turned accusing eyes on IRIS. “Seriously?”
“Maybe, but it’s only because I know she’ll never be happy with anything I do. So, if I let her do it anyway, it prevents us from having arguments.”
“No, it just makes me mad that you’re not doing it until I blow up. And then one day, I’ll take one of your homemade devices and use it on you!”
“That’s just mean. I make up for it in other ways.”
“Like what?”
I was beginning to feel slightly awkward as we stood in the hallway as they argued.
“I let you choose where we go out to eat. Every time!”
“I don’t want to always choose where to eat. That’s why I ask you.”
“But I want to make you happy. That’s why I ask you what you want. I’m trying to please you.”
“What would please me is if I didn’t have to choose all the damn time. Sometimes, it’s nice to have someone else’s opinion,” Jane retorted.
“Well, I’m so sorry that I was trying to be nice and let you have your way. I guess from now on, I’ll be a massive jerk and always pick the restaurants,” he said, storming away.
“That’s fine by me. Oh, and while you’re at it, maybe you could go to the back of the restaurant and take some lessons from the dish washer!” she shouted, chasing him down the hall.
“Still want to argue about the little things?” IKE asked.
“Nope. I’m good.”
The smell of food made my stomach roil, but I knew I needed to eat if I was going to spend any amount of time in a car today. IKE shoved a cup of coffee in front of me, along with a cup of tomato juice. Both of them made me want to hurl.
“So, what did you find out last night?” I asked, trying to distract myself as I took my first sip of tomato juice.
“Not much. We found a property, but it was transferred into someone else’s name years ago. Other than that, they don’t own any other property where Shawn could hide out,” IKE answered.
“But we did meet some lovely gentlemen on the way out,” IRIS retorted. “Very friendly.”
I had the feeling he was talking about the Irish, so I took another sip of the tomato juice. They came back in one piece. That’s what I had to focus on. “So, where do we go from here?”
IKE turned in the booth toward me. “What about when you were first dating?”
“He lived in an apartment. And then when we got married, we bought the house.”
“What about friends? Anyone he would turn to for help?”
“All his friends are cops. I’m not sure how much help they’ll be when you tell them what he’s done.”
“If they even know,” IRIS pointed out. “Cops have each other’s backs. They don’t want to believe one of their own could be dirty.”
“He’s on the run!” Jane gasped. “How could they possibly be on his side!”
“Because they’re not going to want to believe he’s dirty. It must be a mistake, right?” IRIS scoffed.
“It’s happened before,” IKE sighed. “It wouldn’t be the first time a cop has been set up to take the fall. There’s a reason they have each other’s backs. Can’t blame ‘em. So, we can’t trust that they’ll help us to take one of them down. Which brings us back to you,” he said, looking at me.
Me. Always back to me. Anything I could remember. “You know, this is really hard to do with a hangover.”
“That’s why we’re putting food in you,” IKE grinned.
I took another sip of the tomato juice and thought back to when I first met Shawn. All the places we used to go when he was just a rookie cop. Movies, concerts…all generic places you would go on a date. Except this one time… “We went to a club once. Probably about an hour from our house. I thought it was strange because Shawn always did things on the straight and narrow, but this club was kind of sketchy.”
“In what way?”
“Just a feeling I got. I never saw it, but it seemed like the kind of club where you would find drugs. I was glad when we left.”
“What do you mean?” IKE asked.
I couldn’t put my finger on it back then, and even now, I still couldn’t. “I don’t know. The hallways were lit with these red lights and there were always these small groups of people hanging out. And they just looked suspicious. Like maybe they were handing things back and forth. It was hard to tell with the strobe lights. Everything was kind of disorienting, but that’s how it felt all throughout the club. Every corner, by every wall, it just felt like there was always someone exchanging money for something.”
I shrugged, not knowing what else to tell them. “I didn’t like it, and when we left, I told Shawn I didn’t want to go back there.”
“Why did he take you there?”
“He said a guy he knew was working there. He introduced me to the guy when we first got there.”
“Do you remember his name?”
“Nope. He worked behind the bar, though.”
“Would you recognize him?”
“I think so. I mean, it’s been a while, but yeah.”
IKE’s eyes flicked to IRIS. “It’s worth checking out.”
“After all this time? You think he’d go to him?” I asked.
“It sounds like this guy was an acquaintance. Yeah, I think he’d go to him for help. He sounds like just the type of guy who might have some connections.”
“He might not even work there anymore. That was a long time ago.”
“Then we’ll move on to the next clue and the next until we find this fucker,” IKE growled.
“Food’s here,” Jane hissed.
We all stopped talking, waiting patiently as the waitress set down all the plates in front of us, looking at us awkwardly as we sat silently. “Is there anything else I can get for you?”
“No, thank you,” I smiled.
Once she was gone, I looked at the food and grimaced. Shoving any of this in my mouth didn’t sound even the slightest bit appealing.
“Eat,” IKE commanded.
I picked up my fork and took a small bite of hash browns. My stomach revolted for a second before accepting the offering, but I was cautious with every bite I took. This was not going to be a good trip.
“Any chance we can postpone our trip another day?” I smiled weakly.
IRIS and IKE traded some kind of look that set me on edge.
“Is this about last night?”
“When the Irish attacked last night, that was just a scouting party to see who would show up,” IKE explained. “When they don’t check in, the rest will come for us. They want Shawn, and if that means going after us to get to him, that’s what they’ll do. We need to put as much distance between us and them as possible.”
“Right,” I sighed.
“It could be worse,” IRIS grinned, shoving another forkful of eggs in his mouth. “You could have that nice police chief coming after you again. Or the senator,” he snorted. “He’s a real piece of work. I heard he dropped the story about you and Kavanaugh to force his hand and make him come back to work. Yep, he made you look like a home wrecker and—ow!” He grimaced, looking over at Jane. “What did you elbow me for?”
Her eyes shot over to mine in a knowing gesture, which I found all too funny. I already knew what the senator had done, and he wasn’t worth my time, so I wasn’t going to get all worked up over IRIS pointing out the obvious.
But it was funny to watch IRIS step in it.
“Oh. Oh ! Um…Not that you were a home wrecker. That story was completely fake. Totally fake. I’m not even sure why the press ran with that. In fact, I’m not even sure that was a picture of you in the paper. It was probably one of those pictures where they take a picture of someone else who looks like you and then they say it’s you, but it’s not you. They do it all the time with celebrities. So, if you look on the bright side, you’re like a celebrity.” His brows furrowed. “Infamous celebrity. You’re like Napoleon. Not that Napoleon wasn’t cool. I mean, the man was a tyrant and he was only like 5’ 2”. So…that’s something.”
I watched with fascination as IRIS tried to get himself out of the hole he dug for himself. It was quite interesting. I couldn’t even remember what the original comment was that he had made. I was too enraptured by his comparison with me to Napoleon.
“I think I’m taller than Napoleon.”
“Oh, you totally are. That was a bad example. Maybe Hitler would have been better. He was taller. Not that you would kill millions of people. That would be sick and twisted. But…” He scratched the back of his neck. “Stalin.” He swallowed hard. “Santa Claus?”
“Santa Claus does get a bad rap,” I agreed.
“Right? Like, he’s this totally cool guy, but everyone assumes that he’s just a fat guy who likes to eat cookies and drink milk.” He snorted loudly at that. “Everyone knows Santa is lactose intolerant.”
I nodded with a grin. “Of course.”
“Anyway, I’m glad we cleared that up. I kind of felt like an idiot there for a minute.”
IKE leaned forward on the table, cocking his head at IRIS. “Just a minute?”