39. Kavanaugh
39
KAVANAUGH
I’d successfully kept myself away from Isla for way too fucking long. It was killing me every day to stay away from her, but that ended today. I couldn’t take it any longer. And now that our latest job was done, I was ready to see her.
Popping by probably wasn’t the best idea, but if I called and asked if I could come over, she might not hear me out, and I really needed her to listen. I had distanced myself from the senator and all the bullshit of his campaign. The crap going on at work had died down, and now I was feeling like myself again. Things were finally going my way. This couldn’t fail.
I grabbed the box from the jewelry store and slid it into my pocket, then shut my locker. It was just something small to show how much I cared about her. When we were kids, there was this patch of wildflowers that grew every summer that she was always fascinated with. This was just a little something to remember that, and I knew she’d love it.
“Hey, you leaving already?” Red asked as I headed out of the locker room.
“Yeah,” I grinned. “On my way to see a lady.”
Groaning, he scrubbed his hand over his face. “Please tell me you’re not going to see Isla.”
“Of course I am. Who else would I be going to visit?”
“Does she know you’re about to drop by?”
“Nope.”
He shoved back from his chair, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Listen, man, I didn’t want to be the one to tell you this…I was actually hoping you would just forget about her…”
“What are you talking about? You know I love her.”
“Which makes this so much fucking harder,” he muttered.
“Can you just spit it out? I need to leave, and you’re dragging this out.”
A pained look crossed his face as he looked up at me. “She’s—IRIS was working with IKE recently to help Isla out.”
“Yeah, I know. It sucks that she didn’t want my help, but… I have to get past that.”
“It’s not just that. He said…they were pretty tight.” He winced as the words left his mouth.
That couldn’t be right. She was so pissed at me when I even mentioned IKE’s name. Besides, she was in love with me, and you didn’t just fall out of love with someone and move on. It didn’t work like that.
He sighed. “They’re together now.”
“No, they were trying to get her ex to back off. Red, I appreciate you looking out for me, but they were trying to get information. Look, I jumped to conclusions before and it didn’t turn out too well for me.”
He stopped me, placing a hand on my shoulder. “Kavanaugh, I’m not jumping to conclusions. Look, they didn’t want you to know, but IKE got himself in some bad shit and OPS went out there to save his ass. They did it for Isla. And for him, but for Isla because she asked. Because she’s in love with him.”
A lump formed in my throat, but I shoved it down. I blinked hard, trying to think past the pain shooting through my chest. “You know what, whatever happened, it doesn’t matter. We were broken up. She was so angry with me, and…they went through something together. I can’t blame her if…”
Fuck, this was really bad.
“I’m sorry, man. I wish it was different news. I just don’t want you to go over there unprepared.”
I felt the box in my pocket and squeezed it tightly before releasing it. “It’s fine. Good, actually. Better to know ahead of time, right?” I tried too hard to smile for it to be real.
“You okay?”
“Of course. I mean…it’s already been a couple of months. She asked for space and I gave it to her. This is what she wanted.”
“I know, but?—”
“But nothing,” I interrupted.
“Are you still going over there?”
“Yeah, I have to know.”
He nodded. “Do you want me to go over there with you?”
And witness my humiliation? No, thank you. But I needed to go, even if the answer was a resounding no. I had to see with my own eyes and hear for myself that it was truly over. And if that was her choice, I would walk away. I would fucking hate it, but I only had myself to blame for the way things turned out.
I shook my head, clapping him on the shoulder. “Thanks for looking out for me.”
“Always.”
I turned and walked out with my head held high, but my heart was racing. How had I fucked things up so badly that she’d moved on already? I thought all those check-ins were a way to keep me connected to her, but really, she was just tolerating me, if Red was right. Fuck, I couldn’t get ahead of myself. I had to talk to her first. Only then would I really know how she felt.
“Buck up, Kavanaugh. You’re no pussy,” I muttered to myself.