Chapter 9 - Samantha
I’m clinging to my routine like a fragile shield against the pain.
Never in my life did I imagine losing my mother.
One day, she’s there—so full of life, determined to show me the hidden secrets of Gekkaria’s plants, so much I still had to learn from her.
The next, she’s gone. Ripped away from me by a sudden, brutal heart attack.
At eighteen Polarion years, I thought we still had all the time in the world.
Now, I’m drowning in a wave of conflicting emotions.
An unbearable sadness for this incredible woman who was always my anchor, my guide.
Deep gratitude for her patience and her constancy, which allowed her to teach me so much.
And a storm of anger at finding myself here, alone, without her irreplaceable presence.
Underneath all of that, my usual zest for life fights to resurface through the darkness.
Each day without her is a battle against absence, a struggle with the hollow space she left behind.
I feel lost, like a child abandoned in a suddenly cold, hostile world.
Guilt gnaws at me—could I have done something? Did I miss the signs?
I don’t understand. Why her? Why now?
The pain is constant. But sometimes I find a strange comfort in remembering her words, her love, her wisdom.
Grieving is a winding road, every step a challenge—but every step also brings me closer to acceptance.
So I hold onto the routine. I keep living with the Gekkaris, who’ve been my unwavering support.
I left Logan a holographic message when Mom died, but I don’t know when he’ll receive it—or when he’ll come. It might take months.
I haven’t seen him since last year, when he and Ayden came to recover at the house.
Even my thoughts about the tall, dark, broody guy who’s always by my brother’s side feel... dulled. Which is strange, considering how obsessed I usually am with him. Maybe I’m finally over that ridiculous crush?
I don’t know if Logan and his partner will come to Gekkaria after learning about Mom’s death. But for now, I carry on, just like I always have—even if it feels completely different without her.
Today, I’m on my aeropod heading toward Gekkar Creek to drop off the latest herbal mixes.
It’s my first time back there since...
A lump tightens in my throat, choking my breath.
I close my eyes and clear my mind until it passes.
I’ve found that trick helpful lately, for calming down the panic attacks that hit me out of nowhere.
Let’s face it—being barely eighteen and living on your own isn’t easy.
But this isn't me.
Mom always said I was like a sunbeam—constantly cheerful and full of smiles. Not lately, though.
Lately, it’s just a lot of clouds in my head.
My father?
I saw him at Mom’s cremation ceremony. That’s it.
Apparently, he had better things to do than mourn the woman who left him years ago.
He’s busy with his shady Nalgou powder trade anyway.
And business is booming.
Morons desperate to get their hands on those poor animals’ horns are everywhere now.
It still makes me furious that Ayden injured himself trying to scan and document those creatures, hoping to protect them.
Apparently, his superiors weren’t moved.
Not surprising. Just... disappointing, especially for Logan, who still worships the Confederation like it’s some benevolent galactic force.
They chart lifeforms, terraform planets, and step in to stop criminal activity—sure.
But my Nalgous? Not important enough, I guess.
I’m flying over the dry lands north of the aquaponic greenhouses on my way to the Creek when I spot a group gathered below.
Strange. I rarely see anyone this far from the agricultural zones.
I tilt the aeropod slightly and land a few steps away.
The scene is weird.
It takes me a second to realize it’s my dad slumped on the ground. The men around him aren’t helping.
Is he hurt?
I rush to kneel beside him.
“Dad?” I ask, checking his face and arms.
He’s bruised—arms, head...
Did he fall?
“Well, well, his daughter! That makes things easier,” says a greasy-looking man with a nasty grin.
“You see, kiddo, your old man’s being stubborn about hearing us out...”
Of course. I knew it—his stupid powder racket is behind this.
“Listen, sir… I’m sorry if ‘Albert’s Vitality Dust’ didn’t meet expectations. Maybe it doesn’t work the same on everyone? But please, leave my father alone. He’ll pay you back.”
“You don’t get it, sweet girl. I don’t give a damn if the powder works or not. What I care about is how far it’s spreading. I want more of it. Convince your daddy to ramp up production—or I’ll get upset.”
Sweet girl? Did he seriously just call me that?
Only Ayden gets to say something like that—and definitely not this sleazy, beer-bellied loser.
“I think you’re misunderstanding. My father mutilates peaceful animals to harvest their horns. That powder has no proven effect—” I try to explain.
“Are you deaf? I said I don’t care! It’s supply and demand. It sells. And that means I want more of it. So you and daddy better figure it out.”
“But... couldn’t you just make a different powder? Why keep hurting those animals for something pointless?”
“What do you take us for, amateurs? You think we didn’t already scan the formula? You can’t fake that stuff. It’s about my reputation!”
His reputation? As if this whole thing had any honor to it...
I glance at my dad—his eyes are glazed, unfocused.
He looks drugged.
Honestly, he doesn’t look much worse than usual.
Drunk, probably. Or maybe these guys roughed him up.
“Remember my name, kiddo. I’m Buddy the Fierce. Starting now, I’m running this little aphrodisiac powder business!”
“Well... Buddy... since you’re so fierce, why don’t you go hunt Nalgous yourself and rip off their horns?” I snap.
“Oh wait, maybe because they’ve already been over-hunted and now they charge at anyone who gets near them?”
Buddy flushes with anger and raises a fist.
“You’ll be singing a different tune when I get rid of your old man. I’ll be back in a hundred—you better have product ready, or he’s dead.”
I stare in horror as they walk off toward the greenhouses.
A hundred? A hundred what? Days? That’s insane.
I turn to my dad.
“You okay?” I ask.
“They roughed me up a little. You’ll have to stay a few days to help. If I’m gonna hunt more Nalgous, I won’t have time to cook.”
I stare at him.
This coward let me face those thugs alone—pretending to be unconscious when he clearly heard everything.
“Weren’t you just knocked out?”
“Course not,” he snorts. “They barely touched me. Playing dead’s a solid tactic, trust me.”
Unbelievable.
Once again, my father has managed to disappoint me. I tilt my head.
“Then where’d those scratches and blood come from?”
“Oh that? It’s nothing,” he says, eyes shifting guiltily.
Which means: it’s definitely something.
“Tell me—or I leave you here to walk home by yourself.”
“But Samantha—”
“Now.”
He glances toward a nearby thicket and sighs.
“You’re gonna freak out. Just like Olivia would’ve. You two are so sensitive...”
Exactly what I thought. He did something stupid again.
I walk toward the bushes. Crouch down. Something glistens on the dry earth—blood.
A little, but enough to tell me this Gouzil burrow was attacked.
I find one—its limp body in my hands. Its neck broken. A bitter lump rises in my throat and I nearly vomit up my meager breakfast.
“Explain. Now.” I yell over my shoulder.
“Oh, come on, it’s just a rodent. There’s tons more.”
“Dad!”
“What was I supposed to do? I can’t get near the big ones anymore—they attack on sight. Thought I’d try something else. Look at the fur—purple, right? Rare color. Might be worth something. Or maybe dried Gouzil blood? An anti-aging serum! ‘Albert’s Elixir of Youth’—got a nice ring to it!”
I lose it.
No warning—I throw up.
He’s already mutilating Nalgous, and now he wants to butcher these adorable creatures too?
Gently, I place the Gouzil at the edge of the burrow.
Just as I turn to leave, something compels me to reach into the hole. I feel soft fur—tiny, trembling. A baby.
I pull it out, hold it close.
He’s orphaned. He’s mine now.
I look back—my father is gone.
I glance around, confused.
Then I hear the hum of my aeropod taking off. He stole it. He left me here.
What the hell was my mom thinking, having two kids with this man?
I cradle the baby Gouzil—Gooz—and start walking.
***
I'm on the path to Gekkar Creek, my adorable Gooz curled up in my lap.
My tiny, furry companion has quickly adjusted to my way of life among the Gekkaris—even to our short visits to the colony.
I’ve decided to let my father face the consequences of his own mess. He’s in it up to his neck—he can deal with it himself.
Buddy the Fierce’s deadline is coming up in just a few days. Hopefully, I’ll be far away by the time he shows up to collect.
Is it cruel of me to leave my father to face that on his own? Maybe.
But Mom explained to me a long time ago why she chose not to live under his roof anymore.
“Toxic people rarely change, and they poison everyone around them. For our own good, we’re staying away from that man, who values his vices more than his own family!” she told me.
She’s gone now, but her words still echo in my heart.
“My sweet Samantha, you shine! You radiate kindness and compassion. Never let anyone snuff out that light inside you. Sure, you’ll go through dark times, you’ll doubt yourself—but your inner light is strong enough to overcome all the darkness in the Universe!” she’d often say.
So I’ve left behind the pain of losing her and instead hold on to our moments together—her smile, her wise advice, her love. And if that means leaving my father behind to face the monsters he’s provoked, so be it. I won’t let him drag me down with him into the shadows he’s chosen.
I land my aeropod at the entrance of the village and walk up the main street toward the shop.
Rebecca gives me a big smile the moment she sees me.
“Samantha! I hope you're doing well? Oh, and you brought your little furball! What’s his name again? Booz?”