175. Resolve
175
Resolve
M aya
My body freezes as my mind spirals. I remember when I saw the first Alien Carnivore movie. Mom wasn’t using her best parenting skills. I get it. Dad had just left her. She used bad judgment and let me watch it. I remember my growing fear as it seemed the strong humans, no matter how smart or well-armed, were absolutely powerless against their enemy.
Now, as if almost two hundred bloodthirsty alien females weren’t enough of a challenge, I’m supposed to fight a menagerie of male aliens, possibly including Carnivores?
I don’t know if they’re seven feet tall like in the movies, or if they can fly, and dear God, I hope they don’t make that creepy rumbling noise like in the movies. One thing that is clear? They’re scary. Not just the Carnivore ones. All of them, even the females.
The producer chooses this moment to provide a closeup of one of the Xenons and I shiver.
“They couldn’t be as scary as the guys in the movie, right?” Emily whispers.
My answer isn’t verbal. I simply swivel my head to the back corner where Lila Williams chose to be euthanized. She might have had the right idea.
“It’s not a foregone conclusion,” Emily says. “We all might not die. All we have to do is stick together. We can study the maps on our computer and come up with a plan.”
She glances around the room. Is she looking for a weapon? Does she think there are laser guns stacked in a neat pile somewhere? I don’t think the producers would make it so easy. Besides, if there were weapons to be found, one of these alien species would have found them already. Like that one on the far side of the room, with thick thorny things popping out of her cheeks.
“We have a fightin’ chance,” Emily insists, her chin thrusting up as if her sheer determination could make it true.
I silently wonder where she was abducted from, a mental hospital? How can she not realize the situation is hopeless?
I should be listening to every word Zedd says, but in my head, I’m having a raging debate. Part of me is ready to sneak to the back tent and hope the process is easy, just a pinprick and I slip into a pretty dream. The other part of me is thinking I simply can’t give up without a fight.
A picture of my mom drifts into my mind. One particular memory floats up. It’s so clear I could be standing in our old apartment right this minute, living through it again.
She came through the front door of our one-bedroom apartment and slipped her shoes off with a sigh, as if she’d been dying to remove them for hours. On her way to her room, she pulled off her red Target t-shirt. After entering her closet, she threw it in the hamper and reached for the blue rayon top with “Maxwell’s Restaurant” embroidered over her right breast.
“Love you, Maya. I love you so much. Someday, after I get my degree, things will be easier. Be good. Don’t watch any scary movies.” She’d bent to kiss me and slipped on a different pair of shoes. I don’t know why she bothered. After working an eight-hour shift, every single pair of her shoes hurt her feet. Then she left for her second job.
Mom never did get that degree. Between single-parenting and working two jobs, how was she ever to find time to do online classes and her homework? But she never quit trying. She still takes one course a semester when she can find the tuition money. My mom never gave up. Neither will I.
I straighten my spine, lift my chin, and firm my resolve. I’m not going to the euthanasia tent. I may not get ten feet into the ship when we leave this holding facility to enter the Xenon vessel, but if the goal is to get to the flagpole, then by God, I’m going to try.