119. Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Two
T hree Months Later…
Rynn
For the millionth time, I contemplate murder.
Let me out, you fucker. Let me out!
A million and one.
It’s odd how the last three lunars have both flown by and dragged at the same time. Every moment I have to deal with Kato makes me contemplate my very sanity. Why am I allowing him to live? His constant, angry bellowing deep in the dungeon of my mind makes it hard for me to listen to my own thoughts.
I’ve locked him away next to the other 56. He should be dead, but I guess all Ton’arrs’ systems allow them to maintain their sentience even after being invaded by an Arclite.
For the first couple of lunars , he was quiet, just as Zar was. Now that he’s awakened, he’s becoming increasingly vociferous.
I wanted to believe it was Anya’s unwavering love that kept the bond connected to Zar that allowed him to spark back to life. Now I know it is something in Ton’arr DNA.
He’s a strong personality. I’m beginning to wonder if I’m going to have to figure out a way to dispose of him before he escapes his internal cell and disposes of me. I’m not quite sure how to do that. I may have to find another host and let Kato die altogether. I don’t want to do that, though, because I have so much power in my position as king.
I knew I couldn’t simply return to Ton’arr and correct all the corruption that Kato presided over for the past thirty-eight annums . No, I’ve had to be much more devious than that. It’s like the game of chess Anya taught me. One move, then another, all with one goal in mind.
I began with the slightest reforms. Just a tweak here and there. At first, it was vetoing my advisors’ recommendations that we raise taxes again. Then it was a look at my shocking personal budget and trimming all the fat. Then it was investigating some of Kato’s cronies.
He’d placed them into positions of power, thrown tax money their way, and expected kickbacks. I cut them by huge percentages with the excuse that my intel informed me the citizenry was threatening revolt.
Bit by bit, I’ve reduced budgets, pardoned a few of what Kato called “Enemies of the State,” and tried to ease the burden of the general populace.
I shake my head as I wonder why anyone needs so much money, especially at the expense of their subjects. Really, how many opulent palaces, fancy vehicles, or armies does one male need?
I’m getting stronger in here. One day I’ll break free and kill you, you motherfucker.
Delightful. Not only annoying, but he might be right. Not that he can kill me without killing himself, but him constantly trying to take control is grating, and some day he might become strong enough to escape and eventually throw me into an internal cell I won’t be able to fight my way out of. I’m going to have to deal with him sooner than I’d hoped.
When he became somewhat aware of his circumstances, he became more vocal. I encased the room in soundproofing, which lasted seven gloriously peaceful days until he discovered how to dismantle it. Now I have to reinforce the door and walls every day. The stress is wearing me down.
Barely an hoara goes by that I don’t think of Zar and Anya. Kato had mentioned he’d intercepted private comms between the King and the Fool’s Errand . Because of that, I haven’t trusted the system enough to sneak contact with the ship, although I yearn to do so.
Anya. She wasn’t just Zar’s beloved, she’s mine, too. I lived 3,000 annums before I found her. Perhaps in another 3,000 annums I’ll find someone half as lovely, half as worthy to love.
The only way to keep her safe is to never speak to her again. I may be the king, but Kato installed so many greedy sycophants into power I can’t really do as I wish. If I change the status quo too drastically, I might find myself at the business end of a laser. My life may not be worth much, but I want to stay in power to help the citizens of the planet. Some days, I feel as if I’m the only thing standing between them and perpetual poverty.
My thoughts drift back to Anya. Although I know I’ll never see her again, I wish I could at least communicate with her, let her know I love her, that I’m sorry for her loss. I want her to hear the sincerity in my voice when I tell her Zar was the best male I’ve ever known. But I’d risk not only her life, but that of Zar’s parents if anyone ever discovered our secret.
Knowing I’ll never see her again has done nothing to dull my love for her, or my memories. At night, in bed, when I allow myself to think of her, I’ll admit, my hand strays to my cock more often than not.
I stroke myself as I think of her. Her curly brown hair. Her sparkling green eyes. Her open warmth to not only me, but every male and female on the ship. I still don’t know how she did it, how she ignored her sorrow at losing Zar and found a way to feel affection for me. But I’m so grateful she did. Her heart is so big she found a way to love us both.
I feel gut-punched when I think of how she’ll spend the rest of her life. Alone. I don’t believe she’ll ever get over the grief of losing Zar not once, but twice. Perhaps she even feels some sorrow at losing me, although I shouldn’t wish for that.
Did she get my hints the night Zar gave his life to save her? Was the sheer act of gripping her wrist, of using the word “beloved” enough to tell her the truth of my takeover of the odious male who even this moment is bellowing his threats and spewing his hatred at me?
“Your Highness.” There’s a knock at the door to my quarters.
“You dare interrupt the sanctity of my private time?” I holler, wishing I didn’t have to imitate the king’s bad behavior every minima of the day.
“I—I’m sorry, my Lord. There’s a… comm from the King—uh, the former King.”
Kato would have probably killed the male for that mistake, but I barely have time to contemplate that.
“Valeris sent a comm?”
This is interesting. To my knowledge, he hasn’t spoken to his brother in all his annums of exile.
“Come.”
The young Ton’arr male enters, his body language obsequious, his head hung low. Certainly he knows how precarious his position would be if I were, indeed, Kato. He has to believe he’s a walking dead male.
“Don’t ever call anyone king but me,” I pierce him with a murderous stare, but it’s lost on him since he’s studiously avoiding eye contact. “Have the comm’s officer connect him through to my personal computer in fifteen minimas ,” I instruct.
After dismissing the servant, I rise from bed and put on one of Kato’s most opulent robes. It’s a deep cobalt blue with gold piping. For good measure, I place one of my crowns on my head. It carries so many jewels it’s far too heavy. It feels like I’m a child playing dress-up, but I’m certain this is exactly what Kato would do in this circumstance.
Exactly fifteen minimas later, I’m sitting at my ornately carved wooden desk when a comm comes through.
“What do you want?” I snap, hoping he continues the call long enough to give me the information I seek. How is Anya, I wonder. Is she faring alright?
“Hello, Kato.” He’s cordial, but shows no deference. I guess that fits. I’m the male who stole his kingdom.
“Valeris.” I tip my head. “Get to the point.”
“My physician says I’m dying.”
He pauses. Perhaps for me to absorb his words, maybe for me to express my condolences. I stay in character and say nothing.
“I would like to return to my homeworld. It won’t be a long stay, but it does need to happen quickly. Before my condition prohibits travel. I will come with a small contingent of guards, cause you no trouble, and leave within three days. Is this acceptable?”
Is this acceptable? This is the answer to my prayers.
“On one condition. You meet with me in person,” I reply. This is too good to be true. I can ask about Anya, in a roundabout fashion, of course. I would love to allow this fine male to step foot on home soil before his demise. I wish I could express my sorrow for his illness as well as the loss of his son, but I form my face into a mask of disdain and wait for his reply.
“Yes.”
“I’d like to meet the moment you touch down, then you can be on your way,” I insist. I can barely wait to have this conversation.
“Certainly. I’ll be there in five days.”
“If more than six of you beam down, I’ll be forced to incinerate your ship.” I imagine Kato would demand this. I don’t want any of my staff to think I’ve gone soft. Even though I’m the King, I’m sure this comm is being monitored.
“I understand. Five days, then.”
He terminates the comm.
Even though I know I’m alone in the room, I glance around to ensure no one is here before I allow my face to express my relief. I’m sorry the male is dying. At least now I can get closure about my beloved.
F ive Days Later…
I’m wearing a different, more opulent, robe than I wore for our comm, as well as a heavier, more ostentatious crown. This one has three enormous sapphires under the spikes, as well as numerous smaller jewels and diamonds. After familiarizing myself with Kato’s habits, I’m certain I’m closely following his patterns.
The real imposter king is inside, tantruming loudly, demanding his immediate release. I’ve never spoken to him, but by some of the things he’s said, I think he understands the rudiments of his situation. He can’t see, but he can hear what I hear. He’s definitely growing stronger inside. I’ve ignored the problem since Valeris’s comm, but I’m going to have to use a final solution on him—and soon.
Valeris and his five guards enter the conference room. They’re all Ton’arrs, all wearing the same uniforms I observed the males wearing in his small palace.
The room is filled with fifteen of what I’m told are my best guards.
“I assume all their weapons have been removed?” I ask imperiously.
“Yes, Your Highness,” my captain of the guard says.
“What do you want?” I ask Valeris.
“I’m ailing. I wanted to speak brother to brother. Command your males to pat me down again, then do me the service of clearing the room. If it would make you feel better, have one of your males loan you their rifle.”
He pierces me with a flinty gaze. Since I “became” Kato, no one has dared look at me so directly. Something’s afoot, but I see no harm in observing how this plays out.
A moment later, we’re both sitting at a conference table built for twenty. I’m clutching a laser rifle I barely know how to hold, much less shoot. Glancing at him, I wait for him to reveal why he’s really here.
“I assume there are listening devices?” he asks as he casually glances around the room.
I have no idea, but I think he’s correct, so I nod my head.
“I’ve been paying attention to events on Ton’arr. It appears you’ve changed since you attempted to have me killed in my own home.”
He lances me with a look so strong, so piercing, I’d have to be an idiot not to know he’s going to be speaking to me in code.
“Perhaps something… fundamentally changed for you after that mission,” he probes.
My shoulders lift almost imperceptibly. Does he suspect my secret?
“Perhaps something happened when you were assaulting my daughter-in-law,” he says.
That he even referred to my Anya makes my heart beat faster. I stare at him. He has to know he has my undivided attention.
“Perhaps.”
“I, for one, know that everything isn’t always as it appears. That things sometimes don’t go as planned—for better or for worse.”
I raise an eyebrow, a silent request for more information.
“For example, sometimes people have changes of heart, even at our age. Would you agree?”
I shrug. “Something might have happened on Algaron IV that caused me to… re-examine things. Perhaps we’re never too old to change .”
I hate that, even as king, I can’t have a private conversation with this male. The best I can do is give him my most sincere stare.
“Remember the game we used to play as children?” he asks. “I say the beginning and ending letters of a word and you guess at it?”
Ah, finally. He’s giving me a test. I hope I pass.
“Of course I remember it. I’ll play.”
“What word starts with R and ends in N?” he asks.
My heart soars! He knows who I am! He’s spoken with Anya. She must have understood the messages I was trying to give her on that horrible day and she’s filled him in on everything. Now they need proof of their suspicions.
“I can think of nothing but a nonsense syllable. Rynn,” I say dismissively, watching his response as if my life depends on it.
“Yes. A nonsense syllable. It feels good to talk again after all these annums . I brought a peace offering.”
“What would that be?”
“The female you wanted on Algaron IV. She’s on the ship and I can place her at your service for the remainder of my stay if you’d like. A present to clear the air after all these years.” He shrugs as if offering me the use of a female means nothing to him.
I met him, dined with him. He has a good heart. This male absolutely knows who he’s talking to. He wants Anya and I to be able to speak.
I’ve learned many things since I left my last Boklorn body, but I have no idea how to contain my expression of joy at his offer. I clamp my lips together until I calm myself, then say, “I believe her name was… Anya?”
“Yes.” He nods. “Would you like her company?”
“That would be acceptable.” Inside, I’m standing on the chair in the control room I created, jumping for joy.
“I’ll have her beamed down upon your promise she’ll come to no harm and will return to my ship unharmed when my visit is over.”
“Absolutely.”
Anya
I’m excited. I’ll be able to see Rynn inside Kato’s body. I can’t wait to see him, although it will be weird being cordial to the male who looks like the evil king who tried to rape me.
I’m wearing the emerald dress I wore that awful night. It’s the only thing onboard the Fool that’s nice enough to greet a king.
I quiet my thoughts as I’m beamed to a transporter room inside the royal palace. The moment I rematerialize, I’m surrounded by six palace guards. After I’m rudely patted down—a process that takes longer and is much more intrusive than it has any right to be—I’m hurried through hallways and brought to an ornately paneled set of double doors.
“Your Highness,” one of them says after he knocks. “The female is here.”
One word, “Come,” is barked from the other side of the door.
Crap. I’m used to Rynn’s softly mellifluous voice. His voice was always a little quieter, his o’s a little rounder, than Zar’s. This male? He’s sharp and angry. Is he going to rape and torture me for my entire time on this planet? Maybe it’s not Rynn. Did we read all the signs wrong?
The guard opens the door and I swish in. The sound of the fancy silken gown is the only thing I can hear above the wild beating of my heart.
“Leave us,” Kato orders as he looks me up and down.
I can’t read him.
“Twirl,” is the first word out of his mouth. It’s accompanied by one of his ringed fingers making an exaggerated circle.
Shit! Rynn wouldn’t do this. I’m in the room with Kato!
“I’ve wanted to see you again since our time was cut short on Algaron IV. Come. Sit at the table with me.” He strides to the door, opens it, and instructs the two guards standing at attention on either side to leave. Without hesitation, they depart. He closes the door and turns to me with a full-on four-fanged smile. It’s terrifying. Feral. I can barely make my way to the chair and force my legs to bend.
After I sit, he pulls his chair close so we’re hip to hip. Is it Rynn? We’re facing each other like that first evening when I fed him dessert. He leans close and places his palm upon my cheek so softly I can barely feel its touch. His eyes shutter closed, he swallows, and then his whole body trembles.
It’s Rynn! Rynn who is full of love for me. My love for him comes bubbling past my fear, overflowing, spilling out of every pore of my body.
Leaning in, he whispers in my ear, “I’ve missed you every moment of every day, my Anya.”
“Oh, Rynn. You were so stiff and angry I was afraid you were Kato. I’m so glad to see you.” This position keeps my gaze from him. Without seeing Kato’s sneering face, I can connect with the Rynn inside this vile body. The real Rynn.
“I believe I’m being surveilled even in my own suite, but you can sit on my lap. We can whisper anything we want to each other.”
After sliding onto his lap, I place my head on his chest and listen to the steady thrum of his heart.
I lean up to whisper in his ear, “It’s so weird to have affection for someone living in this odious body.”
“I understand. Can I pet your hair while you tell me everything that’s transpired in the last three lunars ?”
I snuggle closer and take a deep breath for the first time since we cooked up this plan with Valeris.
“We’ve been watching things on Ton’arr, noticing the changes Kato made—”
“I want to hear this,” he interrupts, then pauses and takes a deep breath that ruffles my hair. “But first, how are you doing, Anya? You lost your beloved mate.” He hugs me tighter, offering support. “I’ve prayed you were coping well.”
“Zar’s alive,” I say, pulling away to watch how he reacts to the news. “He lived through the uncoupling.”
His mouth pops open in surprise.
“I thought… I assumed… he would die. When the symbiont leaves the host…” he shrugs. “That’s always what happens.”
“Ton’arrs are different. Stronger, I guess.”
He hugs me tight, his fingers threading through my hair. “I didn’t lie, Anya. I didn’t dream he could live through that. I never meant to trick you. I truly believed I couldn’t leave without killing him. Do you hate me? Does Zar?”
“Of course not. We know you, Rynn. You’re a worthy male. You never would have lied about that.”
I explain everything that’s happened over the last three months. How Zar only suffered a flesh wound the night Kato burst through our door. That it took the better part of a week for Zar to fully re-inhabit his body, for his mind to come back online after Rynn’s departure. That’s when we heard of the sacrifice they both made on that fateful day.
I wax eloquently about how privileged I was to watch as the King and Queen helped nurse him back to health with love and affection. How Zar, always so strong and self-assured, has grown into himself even more with the support of his two wonderful parents.
“It’s so sad that Valeris is dying so soon after Zar and he reunited.”
“Valeris is healthy,” I tell him. “It was just a clever ruse to get him down on this planet to be able to speak with you.”
Kato’s body relaxes under me.
Then I explain how we watched his behaviors and appreciated how clever he was to make slow changes. If he’d come in and made sweeping reforms, his evil supporters would have staged their own coup.
“We’ve been gathering strength. Calling in favors from people still loyal to Valeris. Now that we know it’s really you inside Kato’s body, we’re going to stage an overthrow.”
“That would be wonderful,” he says so sincerely I don’t think he’s even had time to wonder what will become of him. Doesn’t he realize he’s wearing the body of the planet’s most hated male? That the overthrow we’re planning means either his death or a life sentence in prison?
“We’ve got a plan for you,” I assure him. “We’ll get you out of here safely. Everything’s not yet in place, though. We’ve got some tweaking to do. We need to build up our forces.”
“ I don’t matter,” he says as he holds me tight and kisses the top of my head. “As long as you and Zar and the real King and Queen are alive and safe, I’m happy.”
He hugs me and rocks me in his embrace. I’ve had three months with Zar to reestablish our relationship, to be able to touch, make love. Rynn’s been here in this palace with no one to talk to, no one to trust. No love and affection. He lost me and Zar.
“You must have been so sad, so lonely.”
“Yes. I’ve been lost in some ways. What I had with you and Zar was the best thing that ever happened to me, even if it was short-lived. I’m so glad Zar’s alive. I hated to think my leaving his body killed him. And it pained me every time I thought of how heartbroken you must be.”
He’s such a good male.
“I still love you,” I blurt. It’s true. Even with him wearing the face of my enemy, I still love Rynn.
“And I will never stop loving you,” he says sincerely as he lifts me off his lap and sets me on the chair. “And I love Zar. That is why you should comm the ship and have them take you back.”
“Why?”
“I love Zar like a brother. No, that’s not right. It’s more than that. The Arclites have a concept called soulbinding. It’s rare and coveted. It’s a connection as strong as two people can experience. That’s how I feel about him. It’s warm and deep and full of respect and affection.
“And you, Anya, I love you in a different way. After what we shared that night on Algaron IV, I’ll never be able to think of you as my friend. You’re my lover.
“I don’t know what your plan is, but I’ll never be able to look at you without wanting you. You’re too tempting. My feelings are too strong. It’s not fair to any of the three of us.”
He pets my head, then says, “Tell me what I need to know. I will do whatever I can to ensure Valeris overthrows Kato’s rule. Fill me in on everything, including how you found the courage to walk in here when you wondered if this body might still be controlled by a male who would rape and possibly kill you. After you’ve shared all of that, you need to leave.”
I pause and breathe and try not to cry. My body feels old and heavy. Even blinking my eyes seems like too daunting a task. This situation is impossible.
Over the past three months, I’ve been consumed with planning this overthrow. At nights, I’ve held my beloved in my arms, endlessly thankful to have him back. But always in the dark recesses of my mind, I’ve thought of Rynn. How sweet and loving he was. How he’s such a gentle soul.
Zar and I have talked about him endlessly. How selfless he was to move into Kato’s body, and how brilliant he is as he’s made improvements for every living being on Ton’arr. We’ve both missed him. I never allowed myself to admit how much I loved him. How much I still love him. And looking at him, it’s clear the feeling is mutual.
It’s like a Greek tragedy. Through no fault of our own, we can’t be together. I restrain my urge to slide onto his lap and hug him. I tear my mind from the thought of throwing him on the bed and having my way with him.
He’s right. I need to leave before we do something all three of us will regret.
After I tell him everything we’ve planned, Rynn scoots his chair away from me.
“I may never see you again,” he says, his expression speaking volumes of things he can’t say out loud.
After walking me to his door, he reaches for my hand and brings it to his lips. His eyes shutter closed and he kisses the back of my hand with ineffable sweetness. We both know this could be the last time we see each other. He could be killed in the upcoming overthrow attempt. If not, he can never allow me back on Ton’arr without raising suspicion.
When he releases his grip, my other hand covers the spot he just kissed as if I could make the tingle last forever.
Within an hour, I’m back on the Fool’s Errand , crying in my beloved’s arms and then giving a report to the ship’s warriors about the intel I collected on Ton’arr.