Chapter 6
SIX
SEVEN
My ass is still sore from the previous day.
It’s not worse than anything else I’ve experienced, though. I don’t even wince while I sit at the table and pick at my breakfast.
Caleb and Vortex are going over the day’s schedule, something about meetings and security and some upcoming MMA fight. It doesn’t concern me, so I ignore them while I try to drum up the appetite to eat the scrambled eggs Vortex cooked for me.
I know Havoc thinks I’m upset about the way he fucked me, hard and fast and brutal against the wall, but it’s not that. It’s that no matter what I’d said, I hadn’t been able to get him out of the melancholy mood he’d been in.
Maybe if I’d told him the truth, that I’d already been freaked out before that had even begun, he would’ve felt less bad about himself. But I can’t. I don’t know how to explain that the thought of him training me to fight , to actively go against the wishes of someone around me, had terrified me more than anything else.
I take a bite of the eggs, but they don’t taste like anything at all. I force myself to chew and swallow, still tuning out the conversation as I try to make sense of my own thoughts .
The fuck had been nice, really. It had been a distraction from everything else. It had been a way to forget the threat to teach me to fight, the way his mother’s call had thrown him off balance, the way he’d punched the wall, and maybe… Just maybe, I wondered for a fraction of a second if he’d ever throw a punch at me.
I force that thought away in a hurry, not because I don’t think he would, but also because I wouldn’t do anything if he did. If he hit me, it would be because I deserved it.
It always is.
“Seven? Are you listening, pet?” Caleb asks, cutting into my thoughts.
I jump, guilt flooding me as I realize he must’ve been trying to get my attention. I focus on him instead of my convoluted thoughts. “What?” I ask. “Um. No, sorry. I was eating.” It would probably be more convincing if I had actually eaten more than a bite of the food.
Vortex eyes me, and he asks, “Do you want something else?”
I shake my head quickly. “No. I’m not really hungry.”
Vortex’s voice is careful as he asks, “Did something happen with Havoc?”
I recognize the edge in it, though. If he thinks Havoc upset me, things could get ugly. “No.”
Caleb shakes his head minutely. “I was asking what your plans were for the day, Seven. Vortex or Havoc could take you out again, or you can stay in and play with the cats.”
“I was going to go to the casino.” No matter what they say, I know I can get better if I can figure out the way Havoc counts cards. Never mind that I’ve tried over and over. I’ve even looked up strategies on the phone they’d given me, but I can’t wrap my head around the numbers.
Maybe that’s why I keep failing.
I don’t miss the look that Caleb and Vortex exchange, though, and I scowl.
“What?” I demand. “I’m sticking to the limits you set!”
Caleb’s mouth thins into disapproval. “So you are. But I think you’ve done enough gambling lately. Far be it from me to warn against the dangers of gambling addiction…”
Vortex winces.
“If you want to play blackjack again, you’ll have to do other things first.” Caleb taps on his phone. “Your choice. Do you want to help the housekeeping staff, the admin staff in my office, or the event staff while they set up for tonight?”
None of those options sound even remotely appealing, especially when compared to the allure of the blackjack tables.
I’d spent a few hours with housekeeping one day, only to realize how disgusting and rude people are, and the office… The computers intimidate me, which isn’t something I’m going to admit. If I do, they’ll insist on getting me properly trained, which means yet another person will realize how stupid I am.
“Master,” I wheedle, trying for that sweet spot. “I can do those things later. I don’t have to do them first.”
Instead of Caleb responding, Vortex interjects quietly, “Seven. You need to do something other than gambling. Even sitting up here isn’t healthy for you. You know that we can keep you safer if you’re with the rest of the staff.”
“It’d be fine if Seven were willing to do something more than sleep,” Caleb says. He meets my gaze, and I shrink back from him. “You’re my pet, and my responsibility. And for some reason, I want you to be more than a simpering slave for me.”
I don’t know what to make of that.
He shouldn’t want that from me. He should be happy that I’m always there when he wants to fuck me, shouldn’t he? Maybe that’s the real issue. Maybe it’s that I’m spending time in the casino and he’s gone upstairs and expected to see me there.
“But I don’t want to be busy when you want me,” I try. I look at Vortex, silently pleading with him to step in and back me up, but he doesn’t. I let out a frustrated sound, then say, “I’ll do something other than sleep. I’ll watch TV. I’ll try one of those games. ”
“You’re the one who didn’t want to be trapped up here all the time,” Vortex says, and I hate how gentle his voice sounds.
I grit my teeth. “It’s different if I choose to.”
The suite is larger than twenty-one steps. It isn’t the same at all. I don’t even know why I was so worried about it before. Walls are safer than the outdoors.
“Pick one, Seven. Housekeeping, admin, or stage hand,” Caleb says, this time in a much more dominant voice that has me shuddering with either need or fear — I’m not sure which.
“I’ll go backstage,” I mutter, recognizing a losing battle. At least if I’m backstage, I don’t have that much attention on me. I’ll be more anonymous. And maybe I can sneak off before too long. “How long do I have to stay?”
Caleb shares a glance with Vortex. “Somebody will pick you up for lunch.” After a small pause, Caleb adds, “But you are allowed to use the phone to contact us if you’re afraid.”
I nibble on my bottom lip, finally pushing the barely-touched plate away. “The whole morning?” I ask, unable to hide my dismay.
“It won’t be bad,” Vortex tries to reassure me. “Look, I’ll even stay with you for the first half hour or so while you get used to things. I’ll take you to the queens’ area. Some of them come in early. Della Mortay might be there already, too.”
I scowl at him. “That’s cheating,” I mutter. I haven’t had a chance to get to know many of the others, but I’ve run into Della a few times around the casino, and she has never made me feel like a burden.
Vortex shrugs, not looking repentant at all. “It’s not so bad doing other things,” he says. “And you can make friends. Maybe you can see if there’s another show you want to go to.”
“I’ll let the relevant people know.” Caleb stands up with his phone and taps on it. “Go get ready so Vortex can take you.”
I shoot one last glare at him before turning and stalking out of the room, feeling like an angry cat. If I had a tail, it would probably be doing that swishing thing Miss K’s does when she gets especially annoyed with Nacho .
I go to my room, wondering what they’d do if I flopped on the bed and refused to move. It’s tempting to find out, and I eye the comfortable bedding with longing. But I’ll get bored before long, and the familiar panic of being trapped might overwhelm me.
Besides, what if they actually leave me here alone, like Caleb had the night I’d panicked?
I shudder. No. No, I don’t want to be left alone, not really, so I go to the closet and grab a casual t-shirt and jeans. I brush my teeth and my hair, not quite stalling, but not hurrying, either.
When I finally emerge, Caleb is gone, and Vortex gestures to my shoes by the door. “Come on. We’re going to be late if we don’t hurry.” He doesn’t sound upset, but it still makes me wince.
“Yeah,” I say, going over to put my shoes on and tying them in a neat bow.
I let Vortex lead me to the elevator, and we head down into the hotel, then through the casino to get to the doors leading backstage. I cast a longing look in the direction of the tables, but Vortex and Caleb had been serious about making me do other things before letting me go there.
Screw them both, I think, but I’m more sullen than angry.
Vortex leads me backstage, and I shuffle closer to him as we pass all the people milling around.
I freeze when Linda approaches us. She’s the event manager, a tall, middle-aged black woman with long curly hair and thick-framed glasses. Linda smiles when she sees us and waves her clipboard at us. Her nails are different from last time, but still long and impossibly sharp.
“Seven, hi! Caleb told me you’d be my assistant for today,” Linda says. “That’s great, because my usual assistant called in sick.” She bends two of her fingers twice when she says the word “sick,” and I’m not sure what that’s supposed to mean.
Vortex laughs though, even though it sounds like it’s from very far away. “So, a hangover?”
I force a smile because if Vortex is laughing, it has to be funny .
“I hope it’s a hangover and not because of any stronger drugs,” Linda complains. “I guess she’s got sick days though, so we can’t do much about it. I’m just waiting for her to show up high for work.”
My smile freezes on my lips. What would they do? Would they punish her?
I look at Vortex in a silent plea not to leave me here with this woman.
All of her mannerisms are familiar, too familiar, and I don’t know what to do around her. She acts like she’s pleasant, but the way everyone defers to her tells me that she’s always in control.
“So what’s on the agenda for today?” Vortex asks, completely ignoring my plea.
Linda looks down at her clipboard. “Well, we’re setting up for the drag show tonight, but the girls wanted to tweak the performance so we’ll be testing some new lighting. That also means new props, a few changes to the sound…” She goes on, listing a whole slew of things that need to be done for the day that I have no possible chance of completing.
I hug my arms against my chest, wishing I’d crawled into bed and refused to move. That would’ve been bearable, even with the subsequent solitude. Unlike this, which seems impossible.
Vortex glances at me, and he finally seems to notice that I’m shaken. “Sure, we can have Seven play gofer for you,” he says. “But hang on a sec.”
“Sure!” Linda says, but I know her cheer is forced. She has to realize already that I’m useless.
I’m only good for one thing, and it isn’t this.
He wraps an arm around my shoulders and leads me to an unoccupied corner. “What’s going on?” he asks.
I shake my head, not wanting to talk about it, not wanting to tell him that Linda just… unsettles me.
I’d have to tell him why, and I don’t even know how to explain that she reminds me of her .
“Seven,” he says, his voice quiet. “She’s not going to work you to the bone. She’ll let you pause and have breaks and spend time with the queens when they get here. Then one of us will take you to lunch, and we’ll spend the afternoon together. Okay?”
“You have to work,” I mumble, even though the idea of spending the afternoon curled up in Vortex’s strong arms is almost appealing enough to chase away some of the apprehension.
Vortex shrugs, squeezing me close to him. “It’ll be fine. You’re important to me, Seven, and to Caleb. He’ll understand.”
I don’t know what he’ll understand, given I don’t get it myself, but I’m not going to question it.
“Okay,” I say.
He nods, brushing his lips briefly against mine. “All right. Then let’s get you started. You can text us whenever you need to.” His lips twist into a scowl. “Probably best to text Havoc, though.”
“Okay,” I repeat.
I don’t think Linda will let me stop to text them, though, especially not as much as I want to.
Linda smiles at me, and something about that sets me on edge too.
“Come on, hon. I’ll show you all the important rooms.” She walks toward one of the open doors. I don’t move to follow until Vortex gently nudges me forward.
“Go on, Seven,” Vortex says.
My shoulders slump, but I nod and follow Linda.
She seems content enough to chatter to me, and I don’t think she expects any kind of response from me. Either she doesn’t care, or they’ve warned her about me.
I nearly laugh.
Yeah. They’ve probably told her how fucked up I am by now.
As I follow her from room to room, people go out of their way to talk to her, and she takes the time to talk to them, too. Sometimes, it’s about work things, but not always. I keep gnawing on my bottom lip, not contributing to the conversations despite how curious the glances in my direction get.
They can be curious all they want .
By the time we get to the third room, I’m so confused and upside down in my thoughts that I excuse myself. I half expect her to tell me I can’t, but I pull my phone out and send a quick text to Havoc with shaking hands that make auto correct have to work overtime to fix my errors.
Do you know anything about Linda?
Havoc responds almost immediately.
The event manager? Yeah, she’s cool.
I hesitate, then reply.
Does she have kids?
Yeah, two kids, a son and a daughter. College aged.
College. If they’re in college…
That doesn’t mean they were safe growing up. That doesn’t mean they’re any less fucked up than I am. I swallow hard.
Okay.
I don’t know what else to ask, and I don’t want to explain the question, so I text again before he can reply.
Are you having a good day?
Driving around town for Caleb. Why does he have so much dry cleaning?
I snort, then respond.
Because he likes to fuck when he’s still wearing his suits.
Linda is watching me, and it makes my skin crawl. I don’t like being the focus of her attention at all, so I quickly add a quick text.
Gotta go.
I reluctantly make my way over to Linda, and I know I’m radiating all of the wariness I feel. “Sorry,” I mumble.
“It’s fine,” Linda says in a neutral tone. “Caleb told me you might need to text a bit.” She glances at her wristwatch, which has a digital display. “Oh, Duncan is here. Should we go see what he needs for the show?”
I perk up at the mention, and the smile on my lips is genuine for the first time this morning. “Yeah,” I say, not bothering to hide my eagerness.
Her own smile seems as sincere. “Right this way.”
I follow her into the queens’ dressing room, and I bolt for Duncan as soon as I see him. He’s still wearing street clothes, which is always jarring. I’m more used to seeing him as the fabulous Della Mortay.
I have the bizarre urge to hug him, though, something I barely resist.
He grins at me, though.
“Hey girl!” Duncan greets. “I was told you’re today’s gofer.”
“Hey you,” I tell him, and I do step closer — not enough to get into his personal space, but enough to hopefully convey that he makes me comfortable in a way that so few people do.
I wonder what it would be like to seduce him, to see if it could turn into something more, but I dismiss the thought.
I don’t want to disappoint Caleb, Vortex, and Havoc again.
“Don’t think I’ll be gentle just because I like you,” Duncan says with a wink. Then he turns his attention to Linda. “Run me through the schedule. I want to practice my part of the routine, and… oh, there’s Georgie. Seven, can you let Georgie know she needs to mend the sequined dress? Charlotta ripped it last night, and she wasn’t even on!”
I nod to Duncan, and even though anxiety nips at me at the thought of talking to someone I’ve barely even met, I say, “One sec.” I steel myself and head over to the man Duncan had indicated, letting him know about the request.
My voice doesn’t even shake, somehow.
I don’t know what it is about Duncan’s presence that has me more at ease, but I’m not going to complain about it. The fact that Duncan seems to trust Linda so implicitly has me confused, though, and I spend the rest of the morning as I go from one person to the next inwardly brooding.
I’m returning from yet another small errand of filling water bottles for the dancers when Linda steps close to me again. I tense up and inch away from her.
“Good job, Seven,” she says, smiling.
I eye her warily. “Thank you,” I reply.
For some reason, her smile doesn’t look as menacing as it had at the beginning of the day, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to suddenly trust her.
“If you’re always this diligent, I might have to beg Caleb to lend you to me more often.” She points across the auditorium. “Go take your well-deserved break.”
I follow her gaze, and am surprised to see Vortex standing there. “What? Did I screw up?”
“No, hon. You worked hard.” She laughs gently. “And apparently forgot to check your phone.”
I don’t know how that had happened. I’m usually so attentive to it, especially when I’m stressed out.
I guess the morning wasn’t as bad as I’d thought it would be.
“Okay. Thank you,” I tell her. I linger, feeling like I should say something else, but I have no idea what. “See you later.”
I head over to Vortex, immediately stepping into his arms. He wraps them around me, kissing the top of my head. “You okay?” he asks immediately.
I nod, surprised to find that I really am. “Just hungry,” I say.
“Then let’s remedy that,” he says. “We can get something simple. Then I think I promised we’d spend the afternoon together?” He quirks a brow at me.
I take a deep breath, inhaling the scent of his familiar cologne. “Yeah. There’s an anime I want to watch.”
Maybe it’ll even be better than the blackjack tables.