Chapter 20
TWENTY
SEVEN
She is out there.
She’s watching my every move. She has people on every corner, and nowhere is safe, and she’s going to take me away and I’m going to be back inside that small room, twenty-one steps to the bed, seven and seven and seven again.
Somebody grabs my arms, and I startle and struggle against them.
“Seven!” Caleb’s sharp voice cuts through. “Focus on me, pet.”
Focus.
A hysterical laugh threatens to bubble past my lips. I don’t think that’s even possible. All I can think about is her ; all I can hear is her. All I can see is her.
As much as I want to listen to Caleb, to focus on him, my mind keeps going back to that woman at the restaurant.
April 27th .
“Why won’t they leave me alone?” I nearly choke on the words. “I’m not good, I’m not special, I’m not anything. I’m just a…”
A whore , I don’t say.
I try to remember where I am, that I’m safe on the couch in Caleb’s suite with him standing in front of me, protecting me from the world.
“Because she’s a controlling bitch,” Caleb says, his cold tone making me flinch despite myself. “But lucky for you, I’ve dealt with controlling assholes my whole life—and I’m one of them myself.” He lets go of one of my arms to rake a hand through his hair. “Vortex is on his way. And he’s going to bring something you might not like, but I want you to try to stay calm. For my sake.”
I try to catch my breath, but I haven’t been able to breathe since that woman had happened to show up and interrupt with my birthday at the right moment. “They’re watching us,” I whisper. “What if she’s listening? What if she’s hearing everything, Master?” I slide into the word, trying to find comfort in it, trying to remind myself that Caleb is the one I want to please.
Not her .
Caleb cups my cheek. “I’ll have Vortex sweep for bugs again, but I need you to trust me, pet. Your mother seems omnipotent, but she’s a woman like any other. She made you believe she was everywhere so you would always be afraid of her. But I’m not afraid of her. If she comes anywhere near you, I will gut her myself.”
Nausea sweeps over me, and I’m not sure whether it’s at the thought of her getting close to me or the idea of Caleb hurting her.
She’s still my mother.
No matter how dumb Havoc thinks I am, I still don’t want anything bad to happen to her.
“I just want her to leave me alone,” I whisper. “Why is that so much to ask? I don’t even know anything important. I’m not telling anyone anything. I’m not a threat.”
I know, deep down, that it’s more than that.
But I don’t know what it is.
Caleb kisses me, and I lean into it, wanting the comfort.
The door opens. I startle and bite down on Caleb’s lip by accident. He hisses and pulls back.
“I’m sorry!” I say immediately. “Please, I’m sorry! ”
“No, I’m not…” Caleb turns toward the door. “Vortex. Did you bring it?”
Vortex looks harried as he steps inside and closes the door behind him. “Yeah. I have all of the supplies for it.” He crosses the room, and my heart races as I try to figure out what “it” is. I don’t think I really want to know, though, so I stay silent. “Does he know?” he asks, like he’s echoing my thoughts.
I shake my head.
Something brushes against my feet. I yelp and pull my feet up, and I hear an answering hiss in return.
Nacho. It was only Nacho.
Tears well up in my eyes. I try to reach for Nacho, but he backs away from me warily.
I stare down at him, my breath catching as I realize I scared him. I want to hold him, but I don’t dare risk upsetting him any more than I already have.
Caleb scoops Nacho up and places him in my lap, though, then he sits down beside me as Nacho tentatively starts to knead my thigh.
I swallow hard, my touch awkward as I pet his fur.
“I will fucking kill her,” I hear Vortex mutter, and it makes me flinch. He must realize I heard because he quickly adds, “Sorry, Seven. I’m not mad at you. Okay?”
I nod, but it’s hard to believe. All of this is my fault. If it wasn’t for me, they wouldn’t be dealing with any of this.
“We’re going to make sure that no one can take you out of here,” Vortex says, his voice more even. “Remember what we talked about? The tracker?”
My breath comes out shakily. “Y-yeah,” I mumble.
“We’re going to put it in you tonight, okay?” he says, reaching out and brushing hair out of my face. I flinch, and I don’t miss the pain in his expression. I force myself to lean into it even though all I can remember is that woman’s touch in my hair.
“Okay.” It’s all I can get out, and I stare down at Nacho. He’s started to purr, though even that feels subdued .
“Do you want me to make it an order?” Caleb asks. “I will, if that helps. Once the tracker is inside you, Vortex, Havoc, and I will always be able to find you. I can pretty it up, but it means if you wanted to run away from us, we’d still track you down.” He laughs darkly. “But it means nobody can ever steal you from us ever again, not without us raining hell down on them.”
I’m never, ever going to be truly free, and it’s a thought that tears me into pieces because I’m not sure if it’s comforting or terrifying. I don’t want to survive on my own again, giving blowjobs and offering my ass to anyone who can pay or put more distance between me and New Bristol.
Again .
“What if I want to leave?” I choke out.
Vortex exchanges a look with Caleb, and his voice is gentle as he tells me, “It’s going to be a long time before we can let that happen, Seven. I know it’s hard for you, but none of us want to see you going back to that situation. Until we can be sure you’re safe, we need to keep you close.”
Caleb kisses the top of my head. “If you think you’re safe, and you want to leave—you’ll have ample opportunity to stab me, pet.”
I startle, my eyes going wide as I stare at him. “I would never,” I protest.
The only person I’d ever hurt would be myself. I don’t say that aloud, though.
“I think you’ll feel better when you know we can find you no matter what,” Vortex says.
“Put it somewhere he could easily remove it himself, if it comes down to it.” Caleb runs his hand down to my calf. “Maybe here. Few people would notice it there, too.” After a beat, he adds, “Look what you did to me, Seven. I would have insisted on somewhere between the shoulder blades with anyone else.”
I don’t understand what that’s supposed to mean. “Is it safer in my back?” I ask timidly.
Vortex elbows him. “No, he means that he’d be a controlling bastard with anyone else and make it impossible for you to take it out on your own.”
“Have you done that with anyone else?” I ask, unsure of whether I’m curious or jealous — or both.
Caleb chuckles. “You got me. I never cared enough about anyone else to want to track them twenty-four seven. Even when we had business reasons for stalking somebody, we put a tracker on their car.”
I bite my lip, but I can tell they’ve already made up their minds. Maybe if I pushed hard enough, I could get them to change their minds, but at the same time, I’m not sure I want them to. I’m so torn.
“All right,” I finally say. “Is it going to hurt?”
Vortex shakes his head. “It shouldn’t.”
Shouldn’t.
That’s not nearly as much comfort as I think he intends for it to be, but I don’t argue.
“All you need to do is relax,” Vortex says, and he gently removes Nacho from my lap. Nacho meows in protest, but Vortex shoos him off when he tries to get right back to where he’d been.
I roll my pants up, my heart hammering in my chest as Vortex pulls a few things I don’t quite look at from a small bag.
I don’t watch, even as he cleans the spot with an alcohol wipe.
Caleb takes my hand, and I squeeze it for comfort.
“Ready?” Vortex asks, and while I nod, I don’t know if I actually am.
In the end, it doesn’t hurt more than any other shot I’ve ever gotten, and I breathe out slowly. Just like that, I’m trapped all over again, stuck with the three of them whether I want to be or not. Even if I was to leave on my own, they’d find me and bring me back here.
I guess I should be glad that she never thought about this.
But then, of course she hadn’t.
I’d always been so good.
I don’t think for a second that she won’t do worse than a tracker when she gets her hands on me again.
A shudder runs through me, and I turn my head so I can look at Caleb. “Are they going to keep coming after you like this to try to get to me?” I ask quietly.
“They can’t do much right now,” Caleb assures me. “My grandfather is a pain in my ass, but he also won’t tolerate anyone interfering with his business. Rest assured, I’m going to inform him this happened.” He tugs on my hair. “Do you want to keep talking about this? Or do you want Daddy Vortex to take care of you?”
I don’t know what I want.
“Choose for me,” I whisper.
Caleb and Vortex exchange a look, but it’s Vortex who says, “I’ll take care of you.”
I’m neither relieved nor disappointed, and I realize that it doesn’t really matter. I should be angry at them for forcing this on me.
I’m not.
“Okay.” I let Vortex take my hand and urge me to my feet.
He pulls me in for a hug. “How about some tea and some cuddles? I’ll watch that new show you keep talking about with you.”
I know he doesn’t actually like anime very much, but he’s always willing to pretend for me. I let out a weak laugh. “You don’t have to pretend you want to,” I tell him.
Caleb gets up, holding his phone. “I’ll be in the office taking care of a few things if you need me. Have fun.” He walks off, and I wonder if I should have told him to come with us, that I wanted him, too.
Vortex leads me into the kitchen, and I let him nudge me into a chair while he moves around Caleb’s kitchen like he owns the place.
“Do you know how to cook?” I ask him, trying to find something to think about that isn’t the messy dynamic between the four of us. “Caleb says he’s going to try to make this…” I falter as the thought brings back the too-vivid memories of earlier that night, but I can’t let it destroy everything I’ve worked to build up. “This soup.”
Vortex snorts. “Yeah, I’d love to see him try,” he says with a smirk. “Make sure I’m there when he decides to try. ”
A tiny smile curves onto my lips. “You think it’ll be that bad?” I ask.
“Oh yeah,” he says, turning to face me after filling the kettle with water. “And I sort of know how to cook the basics. I’m always running around here, though, so I don’t have much time for anything fancy.”
“Because you’re all workaholics,” I say pointedly.
“Caleb is working a lot less than he used to,” Vortex says with a hum. “That’s thanks to you, by the way. You’ve been really good for him.”
I wonder again if I should’ve insisted that Caleb join us, if I damaged anything by letting them push me onto Vortex.
“For me, too,” Vortex says, his voice sobering. “Seven…”
I squirm. I have a feeling I know where this is going, and I don’t like it.
“I’m sorry about last time,” he continues, watching me. “I should’ve told you I wasn’t comfortable. It was my mistake, and I don’t want you blaming yourself.”
It’s too late for that. I had made him uncomfortable, and I’d essentially made him do something he hadn’t wanted to do.
How bad of a person do I have to be to have done that?
I shrink in on myself, and he walks over to me, resting his hands on my shoulders.
“Stop,” he orders, the word firm but gentle. “Seven, we’re all going to make mistakes. I don’t want you to keep blaming yourself for that.”
I think about Havoc, who keeps beating himself up for fucking me when he’d been so angry that day. I’d told him not to blame himself for that, but I understand a little better how he must’ve felt.
“Everything between us is fine, as far as I’m concerned,” Vortex says. He leans down to kiss me, and I part my lips for him as his tongue teases against them. The kiss is urgent, deep, and I melt against him. “Okay?” he murmurs against my mouth.
I still don’t know how I feel, but I nod anyway .
“I’d tell you if I was angry, beautiful boy,” he says.
“You didn’t last time,” I say, tears welling up in my eyes. “You just avoided me.”
“I’ll make it up to you,” Vortex says. “Starting right now.” Ignoring the kettle as it beeps, he scoops me up into my arms. I squeak but cling to him as he carries me toward my bedroom. He lowers me onto the bed, and I clutch at him to keep him from pulling away from me.
“I’m going to take good care of you, beautiful,” Vortex says. “You’re going to feel so good—and nothing but good, understood? Caleb and Havoc can rough you up, but I’m going to torture you with gentleness.”
I laugh weakly. “That is torture,” I say.
He flashes a smirk at me. “I know.” He kisses me again, cupping my face in his large hands. It’s a slow, sweet kiss, something I don’t get from anyone but Vortex, and I find that I need it more than I’d ever have expected.
I’d always dreaded it. The people who’d wanted slow and sweet had been worse than the ones who’d only wanted to use me.
I shut the door on that thought before it can go too much further.
Vortex’s hands slide back down to my shoulders, then farther down, and he unbuttons the fancy dress shirt I’d worn to the restaurant. I inhale sharply as he bares my chest to him, wondering what he’s thinking.
“You are so perfect,” he whispers. “Just the way you are.”
I don’t believe that for a second, but it warms me to hear it anyway because I want to believe it.
His fingers trail down my chest, over the scars there, and I start to tense. He shakes his head, though, telling me, “I’ve seen these, Seven. They don’t make me think any differently of you.”
“They’re ugly,” I whisper. “Punishment for being bad.”
“You’re never bad,” he tells me, easing the shirt down my arms. “Does Caleb tell you you’re bad when he whips you? Does Havoc say nasty things when he roughs you up? ”
I shake my head. “No, but that’s different.”
Vortex leans down to kiss my shoulder. “It’s not.” He urges me to lie down on my back, then the bed dips as he joins me on it. “These are marks of bravery, Seven. Of strength.” He moves so he can keep kissing those lines, those burns, those scars I’m so ashamed of. His attention is different, though, and I start to relax despite myself. Tell me, ‘yes, Daddy,’” he says.
“Yes, Daddy,” I echo with a weak smile.
“Good boy,” he says.
A shiver runs through me as he starts to kiss his way down my body. I suck in a sharp breath when I realize what he’s doing, but he doesn’t stop. He unfastens my pants and pulls them down enough to get to my cock.
“Daddy—” I begin, but my words stutter and stop when he wraps his mouth around the head of it. I moan helplessly, squirming beneath him. This isn’t something I’m used to at all. Pleasure has been reciprocated, but not like this.
Vortex ignores my half-hearted protest, taking more of my cock past his lips.
All I can do is moan and writhe as he starts to suck my cock, and even though I know I should tell him to stop, I don’t. It’s selfish, but I want this.
I need this.
“Yes, Daddy, please,” I plead.
Vortex chuckles around my cock, enveloping it in his mouth and swallowing as it reaches the back of his throat.
I don’t know why I’m so surprised he’s doing this — or that he’s good at doing it — but it has taken me so off guard that I don’t know what to think, what to do .
So I take the pleasure, right up until I’m on the verge of climax. “Daddy,” I whisper in warning. “I’m close.”
Instead of pulling off of me, he redoubles his efforts, and I let out a startled wail as I come down his throat. He takes all of it without complaint, and it isn’t until I’m completely spent and boneless against the bed that he withdraws.
“How was that, beautiful boy?” Vortex asks me, moving up so he can lie next to me. He kisses my eyelids, one arm draping over my bare stomach.
I make a weak noise, unable to come up with words to describe it.
He chuckles, and while I feel the press of his hard cock against my leg, he doesn’t move to fuck me. Instead, he whispers, “Close your eyes, Seven. Get some rest. I’ll be here when you wake up.”
“But—” I start to protest.
“But nothing. This was about you, not me,” he tells me.
That doesn’t mean I don’t want him to come, but exhaustion has started to settle into my bones. Instead of arguing, I only nod and close my eyes, and he pulls me tightly against him and kisses my hair.
“Sleep,” he says firmly.
So I do.