Chapter 29
TWENTY-NINE
SEVEN
We pull up to a motel with a big “vacancy” sign that’s off of the desert highway. The sun has set by now, and it’s significantly colder than it had been a few hours ago.
Vortex goes to the check-in area to get us our room.
I stick by Caleb, feeling exhausted and gross after our time in the desert. I’m shaky, too, even though I’d had two bottles of water and a granola bar. Maybe it’s emotional instead of physical. I don’t know, but I’m not mentioning how I feel to them because they’ll want to take me to a hospital instead of letting me rest with them.
I don’t want to be away from them.
“I’m okay,” I say automatically when Caleb levels me with a look. He doesn’t believe me, but he doesn’t question it, either, thankfully.
“Showers first,” Caleb announces once we’re inside the small motel room.
To my dismay, there are two queen sized beds. That means we can’t fit more than two people in each. It means I’ll have to choose who I want to sleep next to, and the idea of having to choose makes me feel even shakier. I want all of them.
“Seven, you want to shower first?” Havoc asks. He still hasn’t put his shirt back on. “We can leave the door open while you do. Unless you want privacy. That’s fine too.”
I shake my head. “I don’t want to be alone.” I would drag one of them into the shower with me, but considering the size of the room and the motel in general, I doubt two of us would fit. “Can someone…” I trail off. It’s needy and stupid.
“I’ll keep you company,” Vortex says. “Caleb and Havoc can sort out food while they wait for their turns.”
I nod gratefully and strip down in front of them. The clothes are disgusting, and I don’t know how I’m going to put them on again afterward.
Vortex strips down to his boxers and follows me into the small bathroom. He turns on the shower, testing the water for me.
“The water pressure sucks, but I think anything will do at this point,” Vortex says with a small smile.
“I don’t know how you’re even going to fit in here,” I say, trying for levity, too.
He laughs. “Carefully. I know not everywhere has the kind of showers the Roi de Pique does.”
I get into the shower, breathing out a sigh of relief. I should feel guilty for taking the first shower, but I’d been itching to get the desert off of my skin.
While I shower, I hear Vortex on the phone with Connie. The water drowns out most of what he says, but his tone of voice seems calm. I use the flimsy bar of soap the motel had provided to scrub off the dirt and blood, and by the time I step out, I’m feeling slightly better.
“How’s Connie?” I ask.
“She’s fine. Nothing serious. She called a friend to take her home from the hospital and she’s taking it easy for now,” Vortex says. “She was worried about you, too. She’s glad you’re all right.”
“Oh.” I don’t know what to make of that. I didn’t think Connie liked me at all, and I would’ve thought she’d like me even less because Vortex had left her behind to find me. Maybe she meant it when she’d said she was only ribbing her brother.
I take the towel Vortex hands me and step out of the shower stall so Vortex can get in.
I dry off and sit down on the toilet, forcing myself to focus on the now .
“I guess it’s good I had the tracker,” I say, loud enough to be heard over the water. I’ve been going back and forth about saying something, but I might as well admit it.
Vortex turns to look at me, his large body almost comical in the small shower stall. “I don’t know if we could’ve found you without it,” he admits.
A chill runs through me at the thought of being left out there without anyone coming to save us. They’d have killed Caleb, probably, and I would’ve been on my way back home.
No, not home .
Calamity City is my home now — with Caleb, and Vortex, and Havoc.
I am never, ever going back to New Bristol.
I would rather die.
“But you’re safe now. And we’ll have a chat about what to do in a similar situation when we’re all back,” Vortex says, his voice taking on a stern edge.
I squirm, wrapping the thin towel around my body. “I know I should’ve gone to the security room,” I say. “I was so scared, and I didn’t know what else to do.”
He nods. “I know you were afraid, Seven, but when there’s an active threat, we need to think of ways to get you to feel more comfortable going to safer places.”
“Yeah,” I say, feeling awkward.
I know that going to the garage had been beyond stupid, but all I’d been able to think about was getting to someone safe — to Caleb — as fast as possible.
I hadn’t thought someone would be waiting right outside .
Now I know better.
Vortex turns the water off, stepping out of the shower, and he makes a face at the tiny towels in the bathroom. “I’m going to need six of these to dry off,” he says, deadpan enough to make me smile. “Havoc?” he calls out, opening the bathroom door. “Did you have those extra clothes for us?”
“Yeah,” Havoc calls back. He opens the door wider, not concerned about our nudity. “There was a small gift shop next door. Caleb bought souvenir shirts for all of us.” He wrinkles his nose. “Actually, wait. It was my credit card, so I guess I bought them for all of us.” He passes sweatpants and t-shirts and an unwrapped set of underwear to us.
The shirts have a desert landscape design, with “Calamity City” emblazoned across the top.
Vortex looks at the underwear. “Tighty whities? Really?”
Havoc glares. “It was the only thing they had. Unless you want to wear your sweaty boxers again?—”
“Thank you, Havoc,” I say before he and Vortex can get at each other’s throats again. I kiss Havoc’s cheek, then take the clothes from him. “I’m sure Caleb will pay you back. Or I can.”
“You are not going to pay me back,” Havoc says.
“I have the money!” I protest.
“Which you will save,” Vortex says, grabbing his own set of clothing from Havoc. “Caleb can more than afford some tourist gear.”
Vortex and I shuffle out of the bathroom, and Havoc goes in to take his shower. Caleb is on the bed, stripped down to his underwear, with his eyes closed.
I pull on my new set of clothes, then go to lie down next to Caleb. His eyes fly open, and he gives me a surprised look.
“Seven. Oh. Sorry. I thought…” He shakes his head. “Never mind. I ordered pizza. How was the shower?”
“Shower-like,” I tell him with a half-smile.
I hear movement behind me, and glance over to see Vortex settling down on the other bed only a few feet away .
“Pizza sounds good,” I continue, and even though Caleb is still filthy, I rest my head against his arm. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
Caleb glances down at his chest. The bandages we’d applied in the car are still in place, and I don’t see any blood seeping through.
“I don’t think I need immediate medical attention. Anything else… I’ll be fine.” He turns onto his side to look at me and strokes my hair. “I’ve already told you this, but you truly are strong, pet. And brave. You did so good today.”
My cheeks heat up, and I squirm under the praise. I don’t know what to do with it because I know he means it.
I wish I could believe him.
“I reminded you about negotiation tactics,” I say instead, mustering up a smile for him.
“Oh, Caleb negotiated,” Vortex says. “He annoyed them so much and distracted them so hard that they weren’t able to keep up with me.”
Caleb’s lips quirk into a smile. “I didn’t have a gun on me. What else was I supposed to do?”
“I’m just glad no one got shot,” I say, reaching out to trail my finger across Caleb’s lips before turning to face Vortex. “You didn’t get shot and conveniently forget to tell me, right?
“You saw me in the shower,” he points out. “Did I have any bullet wounds?”
I eye him, but I relax. “Just as long as no one got hurt more than that.” My stomach grumbles. “How long on pizza?”
“Another few minutes.” Caleb rubs his eyes. “I missed all my afternoon meetings. That’s going to be fun to explain.” I open my mouth to apologize, but Caleb puts his finger on my lips. “I already called my assistant and had her reach out to everybody.”
Havoc walks out of the shower then, completely naked. He’s using one of the small towels to dry his hair. “The water was already starting to turn tepid when I got out. You might want to wait for the hot water tank to refill,” Havoc says.
Caleb shakes his head. “I think I’ll brave the cold water.” He gives me a brief kiss, then heads to the bathroom for his own shower.
Havoc sits down next to me on the bed and reaches for a pair of underwear. “Christ, can that pizza get here already? I’m starving.”
I want to press up close to him, too. It’s like I can’t get close enough to any of them, and I want to roll around on the bed with the two of them like Nacho does when I give him catnip. It’s a weird feeling, but I need the comfort it might provide. I would go for Vortex, but he’s lying there with his eyes closed as he drowses, and I don’t want to disturb him.
As soon as Havoc is half dressed, I kneel up on the bed and wrap my arms around him. “Thank you,” I say. “To you and Vortex, for getting along long enough to save us.”
Vortex lifts his head, scowling at me. “Of course we were going to get along to save you. That wasn’t even in question, was it?”
“You might’ve tried to kill each other first,” I point out.
“Not a chance.” Havoc returns the embrace. “I know how important teamwork is in a rescue op.”
I look between them, still feeling skeptical but needing to feel comforted more than I need to push the issue. I slide into Havoc’s lap, holding my hand out to Vortex.
Vortex sits up, then leans forward and takes it. “You okay?” he asks, eyes searching mine.
I nod even though I’m suddenly not so sure I am.
“We were scared we’d lost you,” Havoc says quietly, squeezing my waist. “I don’t even know what I would have done if we hadn’t found you.” He lets out a laugh. “Earl wouldn’t have survived, that’s for sure.”
I blink, my eyes suddenly wet. “Caleb was so sure you’d come for us.” I sniffle, trying not to cry. It’s stupid. I’m not in danger anymore. “I was more worried about him,” I admit. “They’d have taken me to New Bristol.” I choke on a laugh. “He was trying to play mind games instead of telling them who he was.”
Vortex snorts. “Yeah. Doesn’t surprise me. ”
A knock sounds on the door, and all three of us tense.
Vortex gets up, and he opens the door with care — only a crack at first, then more to reveal a woman carrying three boxes of pizza. He takes them from her with a murmured thanks, then closes and locks the door as soon as he has the boxes in hand.
He catches my worried look and shakes his head. “It’s fine. No one’s going to look for us here, of all places.”
Havoc reaches out for one of the pizzas. He sets it next to himself on the bed and opens the lid, the smell of sauce and cheese wafting up. This one has every type of meat on it.
“Oh, good. I was afraid I got Caleb’s veggie pizza,” Havoc says as he takes a slice. He holds it out to me, and I take it.
It’s greasy in the best way, and I eat it fast enough for Vortex to clear his throat. “It’s not going anywhere,” he says, deadpan. “The cow’s already dead.”
I make a face at him. “That makes it sound so appetizing.”
He takes a piece of his supreme pizza. “I didn’t say it was a bad thing.”
The sound of running water stops, and Caleb steps out of the bathroom soon after. He’s already wearing sweats, but he hasn’t bothered with a shirt.
Caleb notices the pizza and walks over to the remaining one. “Oh, good. I can’t believe how hungry I am.”
“You were out in the desert, did way more exercise than your puny body normally does, and the only food you got between lunch and now was a few protein bars. I think that might explain it,” Havoc points out.
“Maybe he should start working out with me,” Vortex suggests with a smirk.
“I go to the gym three times a week,” Caleb protests. “And I got Seven out of there, didn’t I?”
“You didn’t get Seven out of there,” Vortex says, rolling his eyes. “I think you just stood there and played target dummy while I got us all out of there. ”
The idea of Caleb playing target dummy makes me lose my appetite, and I set my half-eaten second slice of pizza down in the box.
“I’m the one who rescued him,” Havoc says mulishly. “Vortex would have gotten lost in the desert if not for me.”
“I wouldn’t have gotten lost,” Vortex replies. “It might’ve taken me a little longer, but I’d have found—” He’s the first one to notice my expression, and he reaches out to rest a hand on my knee. “Seven?” he asks.
I shake my head, wishing he hadn’t noticed that I’m fighting back tears. God, it always feels like I’m trying not to cry, or that I’m crying, or that I’m miserable. I want to be happy that we escaped, but all of this feels like too much.
Caleb gets up from the desk chair and comes over to grip my hair. He forces my head back. “What’s wrong, pet? Tell me now.”
The commanding tone of voice does more than any request would, and I look at him as I say quietly, “I’m scared that one of you is eventually going to get hurt because my… because she won’t let go of me.”
Because I know it’s her .
My father would write me off, but my mother?
Never.
Havoc wraps his arms around my waist. “We’re afraid that you’re going to get hurt, Seven. It goes both ways.”
Caleb nods, but his grip on my hair stays tight. “You’re allowed to be scared, pet. But you aren’t allowed to give up. You were brave today. This is my order, as your master—you have to be brave every day. If you’re scared, you can turn to us, but giving up isn’t allowed, not even if you think it would ‘save’ us.”
“I feel like this is all I talk about,” I tell him hoarsely. “Whether they’re going to find me,” or when they’re going to find me, “and what I’ll do the next time, and how long can I live like this, Caleb? Master ?” I add, trying to remind myself that he’s there, that he’s stable, that he’s mine and I belong to him. “I’m so tired of it. ”
Havoc tightens his hold on me. “You also liked swimming, right?”
“You’ve been a great backstage assistant,” Vortex adds.
“You are becoming quite the anime nerd,” Caleb says. “You now know more about modern anime than I do.”
“I want to see myself the way you see me,” I whisper. So badly, I want to be more than what my own thoughts tell me I am.
More than what she told me I am.
“We’ll help you,” Havoc says, nuzzling the back of my neck. “You aren’t alone.”
I nod, but I’m not sure I believe him.
“You aren’t,” Vortex says more firmly. “Even when we’re not physically there, Seven, we’re still close. Someone is always nearby, or we’re a text away.”
But I’m a burden , I want to say.
Instead, I nod again.
“Tomorrow, when we’re all well-rested and home safe, we’re going to tie you down and fuck you until you forget all about them,” Caleb promises. “Understood?”
I shiver, the idea of it so very good. I start to nod, then whisper instead, “Understood, Master.”
It might be selfish to want to be the center of their universe for a little while, even if it’s only temporary, but it doesn’t stop me from wanting it anyway.
Caleb bends down to give me a searing kiss, one that still tastes of pizza. I laugh about that, and I feel Caleb smile against my lips.
“Glad to have amused you, pet,” he says.
“Me too,” I tell him.
Havoc tugs me away from Caleb and nuzzles against my chin. “No hogging Seven, Caleb.”
“Why do the beds have to be so fucking small?” Vortex complains. “What are we doing, rock-paper-scissoring to find out who gets to sleep with him instead of one of you ugly assholes?”
Caleb goes back to his pizza. “I’ll share with you, Vortex. I hope you consider me slightly less ugly than Havoc. ”
Havoc huffs in amusement, his breath ghosting against my neck. “I’m the hottest out of all of us. Except Seven, I mean.”
I roll my eyes, but I smile, too. I turn more so I can better wrap my arms around Havoc. “Hold me tight,” I plead softly, my smile disappearing.
Havoc nods and tightens his hold. “Always.”
We finish our pizzas with more subdued bantering, my eyes starting to feel heavy. It isn’t until Havoc moves me that I realize I’ve started to fall asleep, and he shakes his head when I try to protest.
I’m that tired, though, and as he curls up around me, I finally let myself relax and fall into a dreamless sleep.
I’m safe.