Chapter 31
THIRTY-ONE
SEVEN
When I close my eyes, I still see the old man’s body slumped over the green felt of the poker table, blood spreading out around him.
The water sluices over me, washing away the blood that had splattered onto me when I’d cut his throat.
I’m dizzy, and I have to steady myself against the shower wall to keep from wobbling on my feet.
I flat-out murdered someone.
I murdered the head of the Spade Family.
The thing is, I don’t regret it. I know I should. I know there’s going to be fallout. I know now that Leon Spade was doing something to prevent my family from taking me before today, and I should care about that.
I scrub my body with more force than necessary, leaving red marks behind on my skin.
I do care about that. I understand that it’ll make it harder for Caleb to protect me.
At the same time, though, I feel weirdly emboldened. Someone had threatened to take me away from the people I care about more than anything and return me to the hell I’d escaped from after so many long years, and I had gotten rid of the threat.
I hadn’t been able to negotiate like Caleb does, but I’d been able to turn the situation in my favor.
I think.
They’d murdered Raymond for me.
This had been something I’d had to do for myself. I don’t doubt that there would’ve been consequences for him saying he was going to call her , but I don’t think they’d have been willing to kill Leon Spade for it.
I lean hard against the wall, sagging there and almost dropping the bath sponge.
Why don’t I feel anything?
Why do I feel like I’d do it again in a heartbeat?
Maybe I really am broken.
I realize my breathing is starting to come more quickly, but it’s more at the thought that something is seriously wrong with me than what I’ve done.
I know that Caleb, Havoc, and Vortex aren’t going to discard me. Now, more than ever, I know they aren’t going to let my family take me without a fight. But at the same time, I know they’re going to think differently of me — for better or for worse.
All three of them had been shocked, and I don’t know how they’re going to cover up the mess. Caleb had assured me that it would be dealt with by the time I was done showering, but I’m not stupid enough to think that the long-term effects won’t be a problem.
There will be consequences, and they’re consequences Caleb is going to have to deal with.
They’ll shelter me like they always do, and I don’t know if I deserve it.
I’m grateful for it anyway.
I open my eyes, stepping back under the stream to rinse off. My skin is bright red, both from the heat of the water and the scrubbing, but there’s nothing that can be done about that now. I hang up the bath sponge and shut off the water, stepping out of the shower stall and onto the rug.
I don’t hear anything from the other room, which means no one’s come back yet, so I take my time drying off. I glance at the door, where small orange paws are frantically trying to get my attention, and it brings the first smile to my lips since returning to the room.
I grab my pajama pants and shirt and put them on, then head out into the living room. Nacho purrs loudly as he rubs against my ankles, and I lean down so I can pick him up. He immediately tries to climb onto my shoulder, and I let him, grateful for the feeling of warmth and comfort.
Heading to the couch, I settle down, and he gets down into my lap. I want to put the TV on for some degree of normalcy, but I feel so strange and awkward. I shouldn’t be wanting to continue my life like this when I’ve just taken someone else’s without having any remorse about it.
But here I am, wanting it anyway, and I can’t bring myself to feel guilty no matter how hard I try.
The door opens, and I glance up to see Havoc coming through the door.
I tense, something uncertain bubbling up inside of me.
What the fuck did you do?
I pull Nacho closer to me, and he meows in protest, his tiny claws digging into my skin until I let him go. “Hi,” I mumble, watching Havoc warily.
“Hey,” Havoc says. He reaches out for me, then stops himself.
Hurt crashes into me, and I shrink back against the couch.
What if he hates me? What if he looks at me and sees me as a monster?
“Sorry. I need to wash my hands first,” Havoc says. I look at his hands, which are ruddy with dirt and blood. He goes to the kitchen sink and starts scrubbing at his hands.
He washes his hands for a lot longer than normal. After he shuts the water off, he comes back and stands in front of me.
“I might need a shower too.” Havoc gives me a once over. “You look clean. Good. Vortex and Caleb are handling the rest. I had to help with… um, the carpet. It was too heavy for Caleb.”
I nod. I wish I felt something , even queasy at the thought of what had to have been in the carpet that was too heavy for Caleb to handle: the body of Caleb’s grandfather.
“Does he hate me?” I blurt out.
After all, Leon had been family, and I don’t know how I’d feel if someone harmed my mother or sister.
“Definitely not,” Havoc says immediately. “He was mostly worried about you.” He runs a hand through his hair. “We all are. That was… well, it’s not easy.”
I hesitate. “Should I feel bad about it?” I ask warily. “Because… I don’t. I know I probably should, but I only feel relieved, Havoc.”
“I’m not going to miss that asshole, that’s for sure.” Havoc finally sits down next to me on the couch, and he pets Nacho. “No, don’t feel bad about it. We’ll figure it out.” He barks out a cynical laugh. “Caleb will figure it out. I feel like a headless chicken.”
I want to move closer to him, but I’m not sure he wants it, so I stay put. “I’m still sorry I made things hard. I…” I nibble on my bottom lip, rubbing at one of the spots on my arm I’d rubbed almost raw in the shower. “I can’t even say it was something I just did because I panicked. I knew what I was doing.” I look at him, and for the first time, tears well up in my eyes. “I’m broken, Havoc. Really, really broken.”
Havoc shakes his head. “No. You aren’t. Not any more than the rest of us. I mean, I can’t even fucking control my temper half the time. Caleb’s a domineering asshole who launders money for his mob family. Vortex has done way worse shit than what you did today. Seriously, you’re looking pretty rosy in comparison to us.”
I don’t think I look rosy, considering I killed a man in cold blood. I wipe at my eyes anyway, then I ask, “Can I come closer?”
I don’t know why I’m asking, except that I’m half-sure he’s going to tell me he needs distance right now .
“Yeah, of course.” Havoc lifts his arm, and I scoot into his personal space. Nacho gets annoyed by the movement and hops off my lap, choosing Caleb’s armchair as his new napping spot.
I sigh in relief when Havoc wraps his arm around me and kisses the top of my head. I fall silent, realizing I don’t know what to say now. He’s offered me absolution, but I don’t know if I can accept it.
It’s a bizarre feeling.
“I think that maybe I’d like you to teach me how to defend myself now,” I say, my voice small.
It’s a terrifying thing to say, but with Caleb’s grandfather, I’d mostly gotten lucky that he hadn’t seen the attack coming. He’d been old and slow, and I’d been fast and determined, but that’ll only get me so far in any other situation.
“That’s a good idea,” Havoc says. He pulls me closer to himself. “I’ll get you on a training regimen. You probably won’t ever be able to beat a guy like Blade Fury, but most people aren’t trained like he is.”
I nod. “I might be able to beat him, if he throws the fight again,” I joke, and Havoc barks out a laugh.
The door opens again, and Caleb and Vortex walk through it. They both look tired, and worry starts to gnaw at me until Vortex smiles at me.
“Hey,” he says. “Give me five minutes to shower, then we’ll take care of you, okay?”
Take care of me.
I don’t deserve it, but I want it — whatever it is.
I nod, my eyes flicking to Caleb.
“You take Seven’s bathroom, I’ll shower in mine,” Caleb says. He pauses by the couch on the way to his bedroom and pats my head. “Think about what you want from us, pet.”
I want everything.
“Okay,” I say, my heart starting to race. My mind goes blank, though, and I realize I’ve been expecting to be punished for what I’ve done. The fact that I’m not is a heady feeling, and I move into Havoc’s lap so I can straddle him .
I trail my finger over his lips, then gently kiss him.
Havoc smiles and kisses me back, his hands going to my hips. It’s a gentle pressure, unlike how Havoc usually holds me when we’re fucking.
“Harder?” I plead. “I’m not fragile, Havoc.”
Especially not right now. I feel stronger than I ever have.
Havoc groans and squeezes my ass. If I’m lucky, I’m going to bruise. I roll my hips to encourage him.
“We shouldn’t start without them,” Havoc murmurs. “It would be unfair.”
I whine. “They’ll be done in a few minutes. I’ll make it up to them. Please?” I kiss him again, more firmly, then nip his bottom lip in a bid to get him to be rougher with me.
I let out a startled yelp when Havoc suddenly stands up, lifting me with him. I cling to him so I don’t fall—and squirm when he gropes my ass. “Havoc!”
“We’ll prepare. In Caleb’s bed,” Havoc says, grinning.
I huff out a laugh. “Okay,” I tell him, more than willing to agree to anything that has him touching me more firmly that much sooner.
He carries me to Caleb’s bed and drops me down onto it. I reach out for him, pulling him close, and he kisses me again. I grab at the hem of his shirt to pull it over his head, not wanting him to be clothed.
He returns the favor, and within seconds, he has me stripped down to nothing.
I should be self-conscious about my body — about the marks on it — but for once, I feel blissfully unbothered by it all.
He’s safe.
I’m safe.
Havoc kisses the nape of my neck, sucking and biting hard enough that I’m sure he’s going to leave a welcome mark. I writhe underneath him, dragging my cock against his body.
The bathroom door opens, and Caleb steps out wearing only his bathrobe .
“I knew you wouldn’t wait,” Caleb says, shaking his head.
“Sorry,” Havoc mumbles, but he keeps working at my skin, so I don’t think he’s sorry at all.
I’m not either.
I reach my hand out to him, though, willing him to join us. He approaches, taking my hand, and I tug to pull him even closer. “Kiss me?” I beg, briefly pulling away from Havoc so I can lean up to kiss Caleb.
Caleb bends down to meet my lips. One side of the bathrobe slips down his shoulder, and I reach out to slide my hand across his chest. He smiles and grips my wrist, holding it in place.
“You want to play with my nipples, pet?” he asks.
“I want to play with everything,” I tell him, realizing I don’t even know what he likes. He’s always so attentive to my needs, my desires, that I haven’t figured out what he likes beyond my submission. “Is that something you like?”
Caleb lets out a small laugh. “It’s fine.”
Havoc stops sucking on my neck to look up at Caleb. “I bet he’s got extra sensitive nipples.”
“I don’t,” Caleb hisses, but something about the way he says it makes me think he’s lying.
“Let’s find out,” I say, emboldened by his reaction. I turn my head so I can take one of his nipples into my mouth, licking and sucking, then nipping when he lets out a groan. Pleased with the sound, I use my hand to tease the other nipple.
“I should’ve known you three would start without me,” Vortex drawls from the door. “A man can’t even take a shower without missing out.” He’s smiling, though, and he approaches with only a towel around his waist.
Havoc squeezes my ass while I continue to suck on Caleb’s nipple. Caleb’s face is flushed red, and his cock peeks out from between the bathrobe, already erect.
“Turns out Caleb loves having his nipples played with,” Havoc says cheerfully .
“I don’t,” Caleb murmurs, but he also puts a hand in my hair to keep me in place.
I keep licking and sucking and pinching his nipples, pulling back to blow gently on them to tease again before going back to nipping them. I use my other hand on his cock, squeezing it and eliciting a moan from him.
Vortex gets behind me on the bed, leaning in to kiss my shoulder while I’m busy with Caleb. “Did you decide what you want?” he asks against my skin.
“I want to feel it,” I say against Caleb’s chest. “I want to feel all of it. I want to be bruised, I want to be hurt, I want it rough and hard and please, Vortex, please, just leave so many marks.”
He goes still behind me, quiet for long enough to where I wonder if I’ve upset me. “Well, it looks like Havoc’s got a head start on leaving marks,” he comments. “But we’ll see what we can do.”
“We’ll mark you up,” Caleb says. He cards his fingers through my hair. “We’ll… we’ll all fuck you. We’ll leave our loads inside you, and, um?—”
“We’ll plug him up,” Vortex adds. “You’ve got butt plugs somewhere around here, right?”
My breath catches. I’d thought about this, but I hadn’t been sure I was ready.
I am now.
I’d have handled it anyway, regardless of how I felt, but the fact is that I want to feel them inside of me all day. The fantasy is suddenly strong, and I squirm as I think of how it’ll feel to have that constant reminder of their ownership of me.
“What do you take me for?” Caleb asks, deadpan. “Of course I do. All the toys are in a container in the closet.”
“Good,” Vortex says, biting down on my shoulder hard enough to make me see stars before he licks at the spot and starts to suck on it. He’s even firmer than Havoc had been, and I find myself wishing I’d asked him to leave marks long before this.
Caleb pulls away from me, making me whine in protest, and goes to the closet to find his box of toys. He comes out with a large plastic container. I watch as he opens the lid and starts pulling different toys out.
Havoc’s movements slow, his attention now on Caleb. “Those are all clean, right?”
“I would not put dirty toys back into storage,” Caleb mutters. He holds up a small butt plug, then shakes his head. All the toys have their own bags or boxes.
The next plug he holds up is much larger than the first. He eyes it, then looks at me. “I think you can handle this one. Although I do have bigger.”
I shiver at the sight of it, my resolve faltering for a brief moment as I remember how hard it had been to be stuffed full with too-big plugs. But then I whisper, “I trust you. Whatever you want. Please.”
I don’t want to decide. I don’t want to let my past dictate the future, either, and if I’m the one to shy away, I’ll be doing exactly that.
Vortex kisses my neck. “Seven…”
I shake my head. “Please,” I insist. “I can’t right now. I can’t.”
Am I starting to feel guilt? Remorse? I don’t think so. But I need to know that they don’t hate me.
Caleb sets the plug aside and pulls something else out of the container.
It’s the familiar manacles, the ones that are soft on the inside and don’t bruise for more than a day. I swallow thickly when I see them.
Caleb tosses the manacles onto the bed. “Chain him up, Vortex. Face up, wrists chained to the headboard. We’ll make sure he can’t even squirm away from us.”
I want to protest that I wouldn’t move away, but I want the bondage for that feeling of security and belonging, so I say nothing. Instead, I let Vortex position me on the bed before taking my wrists into his big, rough hands. I make a quiet sound as he chains my wrists to the bed, torn between apprehension and desire.
“Good?” he asks me, his eyes searching mine .
“Yes, Daddy,” I whisper.
He smooths hair from my face, nodding. “Good, my beautiful boy.”
I’m trembling, but it’s not in a bad way.
Havoc stretches out on my other side, brushing his fingers against the hickey he’d left on my neck. “Forget what Caleb said. You can squirm and writhe all you like. We’ll hold you down so hard you’ll have bruises from it.”
My breath catches, and I feel like my heart is going to race out of my chest. “Yes,” I say, bobbing my head in a nod. “Yes, please .”
Vortex glances at Havoc, but he doesn’t argue.
“I didn’t say there would be no bruising,” Caleb says, rolling his eyes. He reaches down for his bathrobe and undoes the sash, finally revealing all of himself to me. “Only that Seven should forget any ideas that we’d ever let him go.”
My lips part in a soft moan, and even though there’s still a part of me that thinks I’m more trouble than I’m worth, I can’t deny that it feels so, so good to be wanted this way.
Needed.
Vortex leans down to kiss me again, and it’s rougher than he usually gives. I can’t hide my gratitude, and he smiles at me when he pulls back. “I can be rough,” he says wryly.
I want to thank him, but I can’t get the words out. He must understand, because he goes to the other side of my neck to leave his own marks.
Caleb gets onto the bed, near my feet, and lifts my leg up. He kisses the side of my knee, gently—then pinches the inside of my thigh hard.
I yelp, more out of surprise than pain, and shift to make it easier for him to get to that spot again.
Vortex keeps working marks into my neck, down to my collarbone, and I look at Havoc, wanting him to be every bit a part of this as Vortex and Caleb.
Havoc smiles and leans in to nip and suck at my nipple. I gasp, the sensation pleasant. I don’t think my nipples are as sensitive as Caleb’s, but it feels so good to have all of them paying attention to me like this.
Although none of them are paying attention to the part of me that wants it most.
It’s on purpose, I know, but I make another sound of protest as I lift my hips in a silent plea for them to touch my cock.
All three of them ignore it, focusing instead on different parts of my body until I can’t take it anymore.
“Please,” I beg. “Please, touch me, fuck me, something. I’m—” I stutter as Vortex bites especially hard. “Need it. Need to be filled.”
Havoc chuckles and reaches down, placing his hand between my cock and my stomach. “You need something? Hmm…” He rubs my stomach, the movement teasing my cock and making a few drops of precum spill out.
“I can’t imagine what else he could need,” Caleb says with amusement.
“Hmm,” Vortex says, licking a long line along my throat. “Maybe he needs to be clearer.”
I whine again. “Fuck me,” I say. “I want your cocks in me, I want your cum in me, I want—” I stumble over my words, trying to decide if I can actually say them.
If I actually want this after all.
“I want you to plug me.” The words have less conviction, but I will them to understand that even though it’s difficult, I want it anyway.
I want to erase those old memories and replace them with new ones.
“We’ll fill you so full of cum your stomach will be bulging,” Vortex says.
Havoc gives him a strange look. “So that’s what you’re into.”
Vortex’s cheeks flush. “So what if it is?” he asks, sounding defensive.
“It’s… It’s good,” I pant.
For some reason, it is. I don’t know if I understand why, but I find that I like that dirty talk.
“And Seven won’t come until he’s taken all of our loads,” Caleb says. “Understood, pet? You’ll be good and wait until we’ve completely marked you, inside and out.”
I swallow hard, but I nod. “Don’t take too long.” I laugh self-consciously. It’s not like I’m a stranger to begging, but that had sounded more like a demand.
“Oh, I have no plans of finishing any time soon,” Vortex says, flashing me a smirk. “What about you, Havoc? You think we should take our time? Caleb?”
“Seven deserves a long, hard, slow fuck,” Havoc agrees. “I could last fifteen minutes, easily.”
Caleb and Vortex both snort at the statement. Havoc doesn’t look offended—but I shake my head with dismay.
“No!” I say. “If you all take fifteen minutes?—”
“You’d be here, on the edge, for three quarters of an hour,” Caleb says. He reaches down to squeeze my balls. “That would be absolute torture, I’m sure.”
I squirm helplessly, but the sensation is so good, with the pain just this side of pleasure. “ Please ,” I beg again, more emphatically.
“Edging him will be so much fun,” Vortex says, grinning at me. “I wonder how many times we can get him to beg.”
Despite his words, he leans back down, giving me another kiss along my collarbone before nibbling on it.
“Okay,” Vortex says. “My cock is aching. Who’s first?”
“I want to see if Havoc really can last fifteen minutes,” Caleb says, setting my leg down. “Go on, Havoc. Demonstrate this stamina of yours.”
Havoc laughs and moves to the spot between my legs. He winks at me. “I can last fifteen for sure, right, Seven?”
“I hope not,” I mumble. I’m hoping for more like five, and I think that if I can squeeze him tight and get him to rough me up, it’ll last even less than that. “Don’t you want to fill me up as soon as you can?”
Havoc takes the lube Vortex hands him and lets some of it drip onto my hole. “I want to pound you so hard, you won’t even feel the other two.”
“In your dreams,” Vortex mutters.
Havoc slicks his cock up and lines up against my hole. “You’d bet on me, right, Seven?”
I can’t help but grin at him, even though I’m starting to feel far away from it all, floating in a place where everything feels good. “Wishful thinking?” I suggest. “Pound me hard, Havoc, please?”
“Of course,” Havoc promises as he thrusts into me.
I cry out, jerking my hips back against him. His thrusts speed up before long, though, to the point where I can’t keep up with his brutal pace. I see stars as he pounds my prostate, and my cock strains as orgasm stays tantalizingly out of my reach.
I have to fight not to let the pleasure overwhelm me. The teasing has been so much, almost too much, and the feeling of him inside of me is almost more than I can stand.
I clench my hole around his cock, and he groans, grabbing my arms hard enough to bruise. I moan in encouragement, and his grasp tightens more as he sets a brutal pace.
It’s so, so good, and I watch him as he takes me. His expression is intense, filled with as much need as I feel, and he starts to pant as the seconds tick by.
Every thrust makes me slide up on the bed until my head bumps against the headboard, but I don’t even care.
He doesn’t even pause, and before long, he’s spilling into me with a loud groan.
“Three minutes,” Vortex says with a laugh, but for once, he doesn’t sound mocking. “I bet me and Caleb can easily beat that.”
Havoc laughs and wipes sweat from his brow. “Okay. Seven’s just that good.” He bends down to kiss me before pulling out.
I clench in order to keep all of his cum inside me.
“Vortex is next,” Caleb declares. “Get him so loose that he’ll have a hard time not leaking semen all over the sheets. ”
I don’t even mind that he seems to think he’s setting me up for failure. I know I can do it, even though Vortex is going to stretch me much more than either Havoc or Caleb can.
Vortex switches spots with Havoc, and he kisses me, too, before he pushes into me with a groan.
The stretch feels amazing, and it’s all I can do not to come on the spot.
“Yes,” I whisper. “Please.”
For once, Vortex sets a punishing pace I can’t keep up with, and it’s surprising but satisfying all at once. It isn’t that I wish he’d change or even that I always want to be taken so roughly, but it’s what I need right now.
I am impossibly grateful to him for giving it to me, for giving all of this to me.
I’m grateful to all three of them, especially as Havoc and Caleb take turns touching me and kissing me while Vortex drives into me with abandon.
“I’m close—” I manage to get out.
Vortex grunts, but he shakes his head. “No. Hold back, beautiful. You have to wait until you’re completely full. You can do that for us, can’t you? Make us even prouder of you than we already are?”
My heart does a weird skipping thing at his words, and I bite my lip, trying to keep myself from tipping over the edge despite how close I am.
Even though the other two are right there, my attention is fully focused on Vortex as he gets closer and closer to his own climax. Again, I clamp down around him, and I’m rewarded with a strangled groan.
“Fuck,” Vortex mutters, and it’s his turn to grasp my shackled wrists in a painfully tight hold that has my vision going white with pleasure. I’m sure I’m going to come anyway, but he ends up fucking his cum into me before I have the chance. “Definitely too good,” he says, kissing my lips briefly before reluctantly pulling out. “Keep it all inside.”
Caleb switches spots with him, and I look up at Caleb with a dazed expression.
My voice catches in my throat. “Master… Did I… Was it…”
Is he mad? Did I do good?
Caleb runs his hands along the insides of my thighs. “If anybody ever threatens you,” he says quietly, “I want you to fight back with everything you have.” His eyes meet mine. “I’m proud of you, Seven.”
I’m suffused with warmth at his words, and I nod fiercely as I blink back tears. “I’m sorry I caused trouble, but I don’t… I don’t regret what I did. I don’t.”
“I don’t either,” Caleb answers.
He lubes up his cock, although I don’t need it, and pushes in slowly. I have to squeeze to keep Vortex and Havoc’s cum from leaking out, and that makes every inch of Caleb’s cock rub even more insistently against me.
Unlike Havoc and Vortex, Caleb’s thrusts are slow and languid. I whine and try to wrap my legs around him to force him closer, but he tightens his grip on my thighs.
“Take what I give you,” Caleb says raggedly.
The rough order has me obedient, accepting what he offers instead of insisting on more. I still take in a shaky breath, and I wish I could wrap my arms around him. My fingers curl, but there’s nowhere for me to go.
All I can do is lie there and rock against him, and I find that I don’t mind it as he goes on and on. I keep clenching around him, making sure to keep everything inside, and while he groans, it doesn’t make him come as fast as it had with Havoc and Vortex.
I twist my head in Havoc’s direction, and he smiles before leaning down to kiss me. When he pulls away, I turn toward Vortex, and he obliges me with a kiss too.
I don’t know how long it takes. Caleb’s pace is slow and agonizing, and my cock is so hard it almost hurts. But Vortex and Havoc keep kissing and touching me, and all I can think about is how lucky I am that they found me .
Maybe I did come out on top.
Caleb’s pace suddenly quickens, and I cry out when he slams into me and fills me up.
“Please, can I?” I beg, desperate. I want to come while he’s still inside of me, while I feel all three of them. “Please, please, please, Master!”
“Yes,” Caleb says harshly. “Do it. Come for me, for us.”
I would reach down and stroke my cock if I could, but I close my eyes, remembering the way they’d all felt — different in their own ways, but all with so much affection that I can barely stand it because it’s so unfamiliar but perfect at the same time.
Caleb is softening, but Vortex is there to wrap his hand around my cock, and it only takes a few jerks before I’m coming all over him with a strangled cry.
It’s intense in a way I’ve rarely felt, and it’s because it’s them , all three of them focused on me — proud of me, caring for me.
It feels real.
I collapse back onto the bed, breathing hard as the last vestiges of my orgasm race through me, and I whimper when Vortex keeps touching my oversensitive cock. By the time he pulls away, it’s starting to get uncomfortable, but I don’t even mind.
Havoc lifts my hips up, and I’m confused until Caleb holds up the large buttplug.
“I’m sure you don’t need the reminder of who you belong to,” Caleb murmurs, “but I’m plugging you anyway.”
The conflict about being plugged has all but vanished, and I keep my hips up as Caleb slowly slides the plug inside of me. It’s nearly the size of Vortex’s cock, and I make quiet, helpless sounds as it goes in. When it’s finally seated inside of me, Havoc lets me slump back onto the bed.
Vortex unfastens the manacles from around my wrists, rubbing them gently with one hand. “Be right back,” he says, kissing me briefly, then getting up.
Before I have time to beg him not to go anywhere, Havoc and Caleb are right there, soothing the loss and making it more bearable.
I’m so selfish for needing all three of them. I know that.
But I can’t imagine having it any other way.
Vortex returns with damp washcloths. He drops one on Caleb and Havoc each, but he sits down and gently cleans me off.
“Why don’t we get full service like that?” Havoc grumbles half-heartedly as he wipes himself down.
“You aren’t the one stuffed full of cum.” Vortex’s hand lingers on my stomach.
I huff out a laugh, exhausted as it sounds, and I grab his hand. “Thank you,” I tell him — tell all of them, really. My heart is full, and I’m sated, and it feels so good.
“We’ll always be there for you,” Havoc says. “I don’t know about these two losers, but nobody is hurting you on my watch. Even if that’s Caleb’s douchebag grandfather.”
Caleb makes an exasperated sound. “At no point was I going to let him do anything to Seven. In case it isn’t patently obvious, I intend to keep Seven for the long haul.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” Vortex says, his voice steady and firm enough to soothe any remaining doubts in my mind. “Not now, not ever.”
I exhale slowly, watching Vortex take the washcloths from Havoc and Caleb and return to the bathroom. On his way back to the bed, he opens the bedroom door, and Nacho and Miss K make a beeline onto the bed.
Nacho gets onto my stomach, purring happily as he starts to knead my stomach, and I wince at the feeling of his claws digging into my skin. I pet him anyway, but I’m so tired that my hand feels heavy. I yawn widely. “I’m gonna go to sleep right here,” I tell them, refusing to move from my spot in the middle of the bed.
“It’s my bed,” Caleb declares, reaching out to pet Nacho. Miss K gets jealous and butts her head against his hand to redirect his attention .
“And I’m already here,” Havoc declares, scooting closer to me. “Can’t make me move now.”
Vortex grumbles in annoyance. “You need a bigger bed, Caleb.”
“You can give me one for Christmas,” Caleb answers with a yawn.
Caleb grumbles and goes to the bathroom, returning barely a minute later with his glasses on. He gets back into bed, sets the glasses on the bedside table, pulling the blankets over us.
I smile, nudging Nacho off of me so I can curl up against Havoc, spooning him.
“I’ll sleep in Seven’s bed with the cats. I need to call Connie and see how she’s doing, anyway,” Vortex says. He leans over Caleb to kiss my forehead. “Sleep, beautiful boy. I’ll make breakfast in the morning.”
A touch of guilt runs through me, but the bed is only so big.
“I don’t mind,” he adds. He must’ve seen the look on my face because he continues, “I may actually get some rest without Havoc’s snoring.”
Vortex leaves the door propped open when he goes. Nacho curls up against my legs, and Miss K makes herself comfortable on Caleb’s chest. So much for the cats joining Vortex.
I hear Havoc’s breathing deepen. Caleb’s eyes flutter, and I’m not sure if he’s already dozing.
“Master?” I ask quietly, squirming as the plug shifts inside of me with every small move that I make. I wouldn’t have thought I’d enjoy it this much, but it’s comforting.
Caleb’s hand brushes against mine. “Hmm?”
“Everything is going to be okay, right?” I swallow hard. “I didn’t ruin things, right?”
“You didn’t,” Caleb says calmly. “You aren’t betting against the house anymore, Seven. You are the house.”
I blink, not understanding what he means. “What?”
Caleb grips my hand and squeezes. “We’re in this together. You’re not a Lockwood, Seven. You’re a Spade. ”
I squeeze his hand back. “Promise?” I ask.
“I promise,” he says so firmly that I can’t not believe him.
I nod, relaxing my grasp on his hand. “Thank you,” I tell him quietly. “And thank you for not calling me… You know. I don’t want to be him. Not anymore. Not ever again.”
“Seven Spade has a nice ring to it,” Caleb says.
Behind me, Havoc grumbles. “I like Seven Martinez more.”
I smile, feeling that same sense of warmth within me. “We’ll see,” I say.
It’s too soon for forever.
But that doesn’t mean I can’t dream.