Chapter 3
Most mornings Jared was too tired to human. Conversing with him before coffee was like trying to reason with a brick wall. His brain just didn’t function.
Today, however, he was wide awake. Just a drop of coffee would probably send him to his grave.
Since that night at Dylan’s, they hadn’t shared a word.
He’d thought about texting him while he was away, but every time his thumbs hovered over the letters, Jared chickened out.
What would he say? “Hey, sorry, I’m just not into you?
”, “It was just a slip?”, “I was drunk and didn’t know what I was doing? I hope we can still be friends.”?
Lies. Lies. And more lies. Except for the friends part.
Jared had spent the last ten days kicking himself.
The kiss had done nothing but cement his attraction to Dylan. The fact that they got along so well didn’t help either. He felt like a soulmate, and not even romantically. It was as if Jared had found a half of himself in Dylan that he didn’t know was missing.
But then there was his boyfriend. He cherished and loved him with all his heart, their plans for the future still shining bright. Even with their ongoing tension, he still smiled at him like the first day they met. Paul was every dream made reality.
Between a rock and a hard place. That shit described Jared’s current status so well it wasn’t even funny.
The ding of the lift pulled him from his reverie. He let out a sigh and walked towards his seat. He was not looking forward to this day. How the hell was he going to face Dylan?
With a furrowed brow, Jared left his lunch bag on the side of his desk and turned on the computer. He sat, right hand on the mouse as he clicked, blankly staring at the screen until Dylan’s energy overlapped with his, distorting the air around him.
“Morning,” he greeted, his voice sounding hoarse, like it did every day before the clock struck nine.
“H-hey...” Jared replied with a quick nod.
Purposely busying himself with emails, not really reading any of them, he avoided looking at Dylan. He was too self-conscious to even meet his gaze. Just a quick glance at the man as he took off his jacket, leaving his helmet on the windowsill, and Jared’s entire body heated up.
He’d managed to keep his cravings in check all this time, so why did one heavy, albeit brief, make-out session turn his world upside down?
Dylan was still Dylan, and Jared was still Jared.
But kissing had definitely made the unresolved sexual tension obvious.
Until that night, Jared thought he was imagining things, since he’d thought Dylan was straight.
Now… he was aware of the possibilities. And Dylan was aware of the reactions he caused in Jared’s body because his dick hadn’t exactly been subtle.
He despised this situation and himself. Couldn’t understand how he’d let it happen.
He didn’t care that his bestest childhood friend said a kiss wasn’t that big of a deal.
If Jared told his boyfriend, he would hit a raw nerve and hurt him for sure.
And anything that could potentially create a crisis in a relationship was not good.
Call it cheating, lying or whatever you want. It was what it was.
Yet, at the same time... he wished he’d gotten to taste Dylan’s cum.
Jared had a soft spot for rugged, confident men like him. If it weren’t for the logical part of his brain being stronger than the lizard part, he’d have jumped his dick, bones, and anything else Dylan had offered.
Oh, fuck. Stop it.
Taking a deep breath, Jared looked over at Dylan’s vacant seat just a metre and a half away from him. For some reason, that vision struck a chord within him. He felt lonely. Pathetic.
The once comforting morning ritual where they’d sit together, bleary-eyed and cranky until one of them said “breakfast?”, felt like an unbreakable wall of silence between them now.
Work wouldn’t be the same without their stupid jokes or the constant exchange of song-filled messages, which made up most of their inter-office chat conversations.
A couple of minutes later, Dylan came back with a coffee from the vending machine.
It was then that Jared stopped to really look at him.
The dark circles under his eyes and the scowl on his face were clear signs he was tired, but it had to be worse than bad for him to get a drink from there.
He hated it, would rather wait for breakfast to get a real coffee or even starve to death before consuming that liquid shit—his words, not Jared’s.
Dylan plopped in his chair with the grace of a clumsy bear and started his computer without sparing a single glance in Jared’s direction.
“Hello, boys,” Penny chirped, a smile so bright she was practically a walking sunbeam.
“Hey,” Dylan and Jared said in unison.
“Cora’s downstairs in the cafeteria. You coming?”
“Nah,” Jared practically grumbled. “Too lazy for that. I’m still trying to wake up.”
“What about you, Dylan?”
“Nope. Already got coffee.”
“That can’t be called coffee.” She pointed a red fingernail at the cup.
“I know.” He scrunched his nose after taking a sip. “But I have way too much work, and I’d like to leave at three today.”
“Okay... Want me to bring you anything?”
Dylan shook his head. “Thanks, though.”
“No prob.”
With Penny and Cora in the cafeteria and the other programmer who sat in the same corner as them on paternity leave, Dylan and Jared were left alone. Suddenly there was a chill in the air, as if a vampire or Death itself had just walked in.
It stayed like that for a big chunk of the morning. Even after Cora and Penny returned, the frost between the two men showed no sign of melting.
Jared didn’t have the balls to start a conversation. The fear of getting a biting response was bigger than himself, though he didn’t really get any murderous vibes from Dylan. They were neither good nor bad. Just a plain state of nothingness. It was such a weird feeling, and he wasn’t fond of it.
The hands of the clock on the wall ticked in slow motion, making minutes feel like hours.
After spending the first half of their shift working with his headphones on and ignoring the world around him, Dylan broke the silence.
“How was your week?”
Jared cleared his throat. “Ehm... Good. I guess.” Can you be any more awkward? “Yours?” He tried to act normal.
“Could have been better. Peter has been a pain in my ass.”
“I guess you had to do some overtime last week?”
It was obvious to him, and probably Dylan too. The tension between them, not even sexual right now, was dense and uncomfortable.
“Yeah. Thursday and Friday.” Dylan sighed, glaring at one of his screens before leaning back in his chair and turning towards Jared. “I also worked the entire day Saturday again.”
“Oh, right. I saw the wolf tattoo you shared.”
Jared knew nothing about tattooing but loved seeing Dylan’s art and listening to him blabber about it.
He’d been doing it for some time and was starting to do cover-ups, which was apparently one of the hardest things to do in tattooing.
Something about the blacks being too black sometimes and not blending right if you overdid it.
“Yeah.”
“Turned out pretty decent.” Okay, this isn’t going that bad.
“Didn’t get to finish it though. I was feeling sick halfway through.”
“Too much partying for your old cranky ass on Friday?” Jared quipped, trying to keep his jealous gremlin on a leash.
What are you getting all possessive about? You have a boyfriend.
“I wish…” Dylan muttered.
He was going to say something else, but before he could, his entire face paled, scrunching up like he was in pain. Then he bolted from his chair.
Jared watched through the glass walls as he stormed down the corridor that led to the vending machines and the bathrooms.
What the fuck?
Worried, Jared locked the screen on both their computers and strode in the same direction his friend had gone. Even though he wasn’t entirely sure where Dylan had run to, the retching sounds coming from the men’s bathroom when he passed by were a good indicator.
Knocking on the stall where Dylan was, Jared called, “You need anything?”
More gagging and vomiting sounds followed, only subsiding a few minutes later, right before Dylan flushed the toilet.
As he opened the door, sweaty and clearly sick, he went straight to the sink to rinse his mouth. “I think I’m a little indisposed.”
“You think?” Jared quipped as he approached, itching to check Dylan’s temperature but afraid of his reaction if he got that close.
Although he knew that his next question was dumb as fuck, he blurted it out anyway, needing verbal confirmation from his friend.
“Tell me you didn’t ride to work feeling like this. ”
“Don’t go all mum on me.” Dylan lowered his head, knuckles turning white as he clung to the edge of the sink.
“Someone has to. Especially if you’re not taking care of yourself.”
“I take care of myself just fine.”
Jared dragged a palm down his face, debating between smacking the stupid out of Dylan or wrapping him in a blanket.
“Maybe you should go home. I don’t know why you came in today when you’re clearly not well.”
“Maybe…” Dylan rasped, glancing at Jared in the mirror. “I just wanted—” He clenched his jaw and shook his head. “Never mind. You’re right. I’d be much better off in my sweats and a hoodie, working from the couch.”
“Or just sleeping it off in bed. You need some rest. Probably have a fever.”
Dylan chuckled, sounding tired.
“What?”
“Nothing.” He smiled. “I’m the one taking care of everything and everyone all the time. Don’t remember the last time someone worried about me like this.”
Jared was speechless. It wasn’t just the sweet yet sad confession, but the way Dylan’s eyes glowed with utter gratitude. He wanted to hug him.
“Let me drive you home?” That was all he managed to say as he rubbed Dylan’s back.
“I’ll be fine.”
“You think?” Jared couldn’t resist the touch of snark.
“Who’s gonna take my bike home then?”