Chapter 14
fourteen
. . .
Nick
For you? No. Never.
Bex’s words echo in my head. For three days, it’s all I can think about. Her dismissal stings as much as my father’s disinterest in me as anything other than a cash infusion.
As we board the team plane for our flight to Columbus, I walk past where she’s sitting with Vanessa, Amelia, and Andrews, and the scent of her orange-blossom perfume is so strong, I can’t get it out of my nose even when I take my seat seven rows back—on the aisle, so I can keep her in my line of sight.
Henry drops into the seat across from me. “What’s up, man?”
“Nothing,” I mutter, unfolding my legs and digging into my bag for my book.
But he isn’t deterred by my pissy attitude. “Whatcha reading?”
I show him the cover, and he lets out a low whistle.
“I love it. Can I borrow it when you’re done?”
“Sure.” I guess we really are in a book club; I kind of thought it was a joke.
Over the last few weeks, I’ve seen the same handful of books passed around the team.
It’s more than Gonzo, Logan, and MacGregor; more than half the guys can be found reading on the plane.
On previous teams, most players would hide in movies and TV shows or video games on our long flights.
It’s kind of cool that these guys are all readers, that they don’t denigrate each other or get labeled as nerds because they like to read.
MacGregor is a gamer; he doesn’t go to the bar with the team very often, spending most nights holed up in his hotel room with a gaming console.
I’ve joined him once, but most video games make me nauseous, the way the screen jolts with each stroke of the controller.
I’d much rather play a round of cards to get to know someone than sit side by side as we try to kill each other on a screen.
Henry pulls out his own book; it’s not the one I saw him with yesterday in the team lounge. As much as I want to keep my distance from him, he can’t help who he’s related to, and I can’t keep holding it against him. I can be the bigger person.
My goaltender studies me carefully. “Do you have a problem with me?”
Yes.
“Why would you think that?” I deflect.
“I don’t know, man. You just seem a little… distant.” Henry shrugs. “I know I’m kind of a lot to deal with. If I’m too much, you have to tell me to back off.”
“That’s not it.”
“So it’s not all in my head, there is something going on. What is it?”
Chewing the inside of my cheek, I debate coming out and telling him. But how do I tell my teammate I can’t trust him because of his sibling’s actions?
He pauses. “Is it my family? I swear I’m nothing like my dad.”
He’s part of the Henry family, who have won more Cups combined than any other family since the league’s inception. There are a handful of legacies, but the Henry family are a straight up dynasty.
His father was known for being an elite forward, playing a heavy-hitting game and scoring buckets of points.
He’s regularly featured as a guest commentator and speaks in the press about how the Grizzlies are doing, always praising Seb over the rest of our teammates.
Personally, I’ve always thought he was an egotistical asshole, but given his lengthy resume and Hall of Fame status, it’s hard to deny his impact on the sport.
“I don’t care who your dad is,” I tell him honestly.
“I just want you to treat me like any of the other guys,” Henry says. “I’ve got your back game in and game out, but I don’t feel like you do the same.”
I open my mouth to object, but he cuts me off.
“You’re doing your best out there, you’re scoring the points. That’s your job. Just like it’s my job to bail the team out. But you don’t seem to like being around me, and I want to know why.”
“I’m all in my head,” I finally say. “It’s nothing to do with you personally. I’m just sorting out my shit.”
His eyes narrow. “But you are sorting it out?”
“Working on it.” I heave a sigh. “It’s harder than I thought.
Being here, with this new team… I thought I’d retire in New Orleans.
My family is from Boston originally, and it’s bringing up all these bad memories, and whether I intended to or not, I’ve been taking it out on you, and I’m sorry for that. ”
I meet his eyes, holding contact until he relaxes. “I really am sorry. I’ll work on it.”
He nods, the motion stiff. “Okay. Apology accepted.” He settles into his seat, picking up his book again.
“What are you reading?” I force myself to ask.
His face lights up, and he launches into a monologue about the book, the author, and the other books she’s written. I listen to him ramble, his words filtering in one ear and out the other. When he finally runs out of breath, he turns to me expectantly.
“Sounds great. Maybe I’ll pick it up next.”
He beams at me, so fucking overjoyed it makes my teeth ache. “You won’t regret this.”
I’ll never regret reading a good book. But I might regret befriending my enemy’s brother. How do I keep them apart? How do I keep my disdain for Luke from feeding into my dealings with Seb?
I turn the thought over in my head for the duration of the flight, but by the time we land, I’m no closer to having an answer.
Luke Henry has adopted Elsy as his sister. It doesn’t matter that we live in different cities; she’ll always be my best friend.
Luke Henry is my rival’s best friend. It doesn’t matter that Whitney and I are good now; he’ll always be my rival.
Luke Henry has an intimate relationship with my dream girl. It doesn’t matter that Bex hates me; she clearly doesn’t hate him.
He’s taken everything from me. They’ve all chosen him over me.
Do I even matter anymore?
I have nobody in my corner. My mom passed when I was in college, and my dad and I have a… volatile relationship. He hasn’t hit me up for money in close to five years now—a record for him—and I’m aware living in the same city as him, it’s only a matter of time before he crashes back into my life.
There are guys in the league I’m friendly with, players I can grab a beer with when I hit their cities, but none of my old teammates have reached out since I left New Orleans.
Elsy is busy with Whitney, with being a newlywed. She doesn’t have as much time for me as she used to.
I get the whole male loneliness epidemic thing now. I’m not an incel, and I’m certainly not about to blame women for my lack of friendships. It simply feels like all of my relationships these days are transactional; what can I do for them? Nobody wants me for me.
If I weren’t so hung up on Bex, I’d go out to a bar and find a woman to take home. But despite my wish otherwise, my dick is only interested in one woman.
When I sat beside her at that bar three years ago, I never expected to end up here, pining for someone who doesn’t want me. I was the champion of the quick hookup, and there was never a shortage of willing women waiting for me.
Now… no thanks. Been there, done that, no interest in repeating it.
A few years before Bex, I had a woman I thought was the one. When Stephanie suddenly ended it, I was stunned, and to this day, I can’t be sure our timeline didn’t overlap with her next relationship with my teammate.
She wanted a ring, and she didn’t care how she got it.
I’m not opposed to marriage, I was just on a different schedule than she was, and her pressuring me didn’t help.
I’ve seen firsthand the damage it can cause to a kid when their parents’ relationship isn’t in a good place, so I wanted to be sure.
Turns out, I had every reason to doubt.
After everything that went down with Steph, I ventured back into the hookup scene, but it was already getting old by the time Whitney knocked my team out of the playoffs.
And then I met Bex.
And nothing has been the same ever since.